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Welcome back to episode two of this series with Anastasia Roodis. We're talking about self-care today, and make sure that you know that self-care is a choice. Let's get started. I was caring a lot of why me, why do I deserve to be in such good conditions?
I'm healthy, I have the medical insurance, I have a good job, I have a great husband, everyone, I know is healthy enough and safe, more or less or as I thought, right? I was trying to find ways to support like going to rallies, going to things, raising some money here and there, but I was never actively thinking back to why do I do so? But I was voicing it like that unintentionally in my head, like why? Why do I get to travel?
Why do I get to experience all these things while my friends had to leave their homes and move to other places? Not because they decided to, but because they were forced to, because their homes were bombed. Not in 2020, too. In 2014, and the world was like, we're so concerned.
I'm like, good for you people, that you're concerned, go be concerned somewhere else, go be concerned about your vacation schedule. They've been concerned for eight years, and they've been concerned the first days because they didn't expect us to stand. They did not. They did not expect the force that we actually grew up in us eight years ago, because for us, for Ukrainians, we have always been the nation of more republic than we were never well under a war or a something.
We were always historically, we've had all the things. So, to me, going through that and realizing that and working through that, that was one of the steps that brought me to where I am right now. I can't back to that. More happy, more listening to myself and realizing that this is happening, but it also needs to change from, like, I need to be there for myself first.
Do you know how they say? It is a cliche. I know it's overused, but they're like, put the mask on yourself first in an airplane, and now they add, take your face mask off before you do that. I was like, oh, people wouldn't like, seriously, I just flew this weekend.
They were like, put the mask on yourself first then on your child, and don't forget to take your face mask off. I was like, okay, but it is so important. And we so forget to do that. When we have kids, when we have a business, when we have a job, when we have responsibilities to our elders, or we think we have responsibilities to the world, because the world teaches us especially girls that girls need to be timid and silent and waiting and just be expecting to help, you know, and be expecting to put their back so someone else can step on that back.
And whatever it is, so we kind of slow ourselves down, we tone ourselves down. And I told you just a few minutes before, it's like, I allowed myself this for the first time in my 37 and a half years. Okay, maybe the first 12 I didn't care much about. But like, when I was a teenager, I was trying to be this responsible person, because I had a younger brother and I had my mom who was looking into me to be this like, a student, you know, I was never like, resting to being a student, but I was also, like, I was never punished or anything for like a bad grade.
But I also had this self-engrained idea that I need to take care of that. Like I have some kind of debt that I might have, I am repaying to them for whatever it is that I'm doing, right? Or for the life that I have, for the things that my parents gave me or gave me, it took me a really long time to start to let it go. It hasn't, it hasn't stopped.
The work is, the work never stops. We never stop evolving. Even when we think we do or we don't want to, we are, we're just going in a different direction or everything we do, every thought we think, it's a choice. We make a choice to do that, right?
Like, I made a choice because I never consciously got a no from my parents because I never asked can I dye my hair. Like, there were things that I asked them, they said no, and it made sense to me. And I was like, okay, but you know, but with my hair, I was like, I cannot even allow myself to think that I would do that. And last week I did.
And it felt so, like my teenager was finally feeling free. Like, I got a no speaker thing in December. Like all of this, it's new. It's new.
It feels so, so nice to be able to allow myself the permission to be myself. One thing I do want to be is I want to be an example to my child that being yourself, being the way authentically yourself is so important. It is so necessary simply because we need people who are alive. You know, there's a quote I've seen somewhere.
They're like, we don't need more doers. We need people who are actually alive inside. So like being passionate about something, being part, whatever it is, whatever it is, like butterflies or great growing butterflies. Like I've read a girl who was interested in poop, you know, she's like, she became a son.
Like someone has to study poop, right? She became interested in poop because her dad allowed her to study her poop in the freaking toilet. I want like, I was told in my childhood that like going after certain professions doesn't make sense because it's not going to be paid well, right? Or girls don't do that or listen that, right?
And so I had to relearn myself. Like I started a business last year or a fishery. I, for most of my adulthood, I told myself a story that I am not an entrepreneur because I don't generate ideas, you know, how Ellen Musk does. Just like, it just doesn't like float out of my ears as soon as I blink.
You know what started happening? They're actually doing that. The ideas are flowing out of me now because I allow them. I started using a idea generation mask by just, it's been a coaching years ago.
I went to some weird class and she was like, anyone can generate ideas because you're thinking all the time. The question is that we sewn everything down, right? We're told that, oh, this is crazy or someone else will think that this is crazy. So no, I'm not going to tell it anyone.
But we generate ideas all the time. You're doing something. You're like, I wish this was different. That's an idea, right?
I wish this was like, or you see a gap somewhere. That's an idea. But then we kind of let them go because like, well, I need a stable job. I don't have that starting fun to go with.
How can I do this? How can I do that? And then we shut down that flow. We shut it down.
Like kids have ideas. They're like, I don't know if you've ever noticed, but like when kids have something, it usually happens. The world brings it together so that it happens for the kids because most of the times kids weren't yet told that they cannot just dream out things. But they can.
And they do all the time. To the point of my kid doesn't like every now and then the daycare or the nanny that will bring in for some health and support. So when nanny would be kind of on the door in the day off, I'll be like, today the nanny will be like, no, nanny, no, nanny. And then nanny, text me and she's like, I'm safe.
I'm like, great. I'm going to wait for something good. So no nanny then. Yeah.
No, nanny. There we go. No, nanny. Okay.
Next. What else are we going to? When we're suppressing it for ourselves, it stops all the flow because we're not just suppressing. Like we criticize ourselves all the time, right?
Do we come to the mirror? I know there is a book that says high-fiving or something about what, right? I'm not promoting it. But it's the idea of like, when you look in the mirror, what do you see?
Are you starting from? Oh my God, you look so sad. You didn't wake up well or whatever. I didn't sleep well, whatever.
You know, I got pushed by my husband at his nose or like the night guard just sucks and I need to get to my dad's house. But like, do I want it to define my whole day? Right. I don't.
So I wake up. Yes, I acknowledge that there is this feeling of me. I also acknowledge that I get to choose how I want my day to be. I get to choose how I want to feel in this day.
I get to choose what I'm giving out to this world because no one needs really anything for it. Yeah. Like the free labor show. But in reality, the world needs need to be alive.
So I can share whatever I'm sharing. I can tell you about your pain. So I can tell you about the war. So I can tell you about also how beautifully gorgeous and amazing that country.
Thank you for joining us. I hope you got something out of what we were talking about today. Go ahead and get your glass, get your goblet, get your gallon jug, whatever it is that you need to fill and start filling it up. Do you first before you go tend to somebody else?
All right. Next episode with Anastasia is going to be about travel. Yeah, we hadn't even got to the travel yet. So see you then.
You know where to find me Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube at he that that's at he. Y E V E T T E or just look for the hashtag tweet trends.