Sex Spoken Here: Overcoming Shame

Sex Spoken Here Sexual Freedom

Release Date: 11/22/2018

Description: Susan Wright founded the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom in 1997, and currently serves as Chairperson and Director of Incident Reporting & Response. Susan also serves on the advocacy committees for AASECT, the Kink Clinician Guidelines, the Kink Knowledgeable Program, and the Diverse Sexualities Research Education Institute. Susan has conducted six surveys on discrimination and violence against BDSM practitioners; consent practices and attitudes; and the mental and physical health of BDSM and non-monogamy practitioners that have been published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, Journal of Sexual Medicine, Journal of Behavioral Health Services & Research, International Journal of Social Psychiatry, Journal of Trauma and Dissociation and Journal of Homosexuality.   In this two part talk, we started by speaking about the reasons for founding the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and the projects they have been involved in.  Susan talked about the research that NCSF has done on BDSM, relationship styles, polyamory and consent and that these have been the largest surveys done so far.  The research has demonstrated the psychological health of people involved in these alternative relationships and alternative sexual practices and was part of the evidence that caused the APA to modify the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders –V so that the vast majority of people practicing BDSM and/or polyamory no longer qualify for a diagnosis of paraphilia in relationship to their sexual and relationship choices.    We spent a lot of time talking about consent incidents and how we as a community identify these, manage these and apply sanctions.  Susan spoke about the groups that they work with.  The NCSF has developed a framework and a lot of resources for community groups and businesses around defining and dealing with consent incidents.    We spoke about the NCSF’s role in educating law enforcement, psychologists and other mental health professionals.  NCSF hosts the Kink Aware Professionals list which is an international list of  mental health professionals, medical doctors, lawyers and other professionals who are kink aware.  The NCSF regularly educates professionals about BDSM and other alternative lifestyles and sexual practices.   We spoke about how important it is for individuals to be educated about consent and that some of the research that NCSF has done has found that 75% of consent violations happen with people who are in their first 3 years of being involved with BDSM.    We spoke about how individuals and groups handle consent incidents and the differences between someone making an error and someone being a repeat offender.  We spoke about needing to get information first hand if you are to make a judgement on a situation and that one of the problems is that often people don’t have first hand information and are being asked to make a judgement.  We spoke about liability for people organising events and conferences and how important education is to limit liability and that decisions around excluding someone from an event are often taken because of liability issues.   NCSF has also educated people in the hospitality industry and made it possible for events and conferences to be held at these venues.    We finished up recognising that we had not managed to cover all the topics we set out to cover and will be doing another show on custody and divorce soon.   Susan Wright can be found at www.ncsfreedom.org Twitter @ncsf Facebook: http:www.facebook.com/NCSFreedom   This week we talked about:  Consent violations,   consent definitions, education and the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF).  If any topics that we brought up caused you concern or triggered you, please write to me at <a href=...

Explicit: Yes

Sex Spoken Here: Mason deRou

Release Date: 11/15/2018

Description:     Welcome to my virtual therapy room!  I am Dr Lori Beth Bisbey and this is Sex Spoken Here. Remember that this podcast deals with adult themes so if you don’t have privacy you might wish to put on your headphones.      This week I am interviewing Mason deRou.  Master Mason deRou is a primal Master who began his walk into the public kink scene in 2009.  He has dominion over Miss Kimi deRou and together they form La Maison deRou.  Mason is also the commander of La Meute de Rougaroux (the Rougarou Pack).  He is a uniform fetishist, pony trainer, erotic photographer and also loves the littles.  Mason leverages his relative y9outh to build bridges among several kinky tribes and subcultures, allowing the voices of both past and current generations of kinksters to be heard.  Mason has presented at BESS, Black Rose, CLUE, Weekend Reunion and several MaST chapters.  Mason is the president of the Master-Dominant Consortium and is one of the founding members of the Leather Houses of Color Coalition.  He is a member of MAsT DC Pan and MAsT Washington and is also an alumnus of the MTTA Academy (Master Training XX).  Mason resides in southern Maryland.       Thanks for joining me for Sex Spoken Here with Dr Lori Beth Bisbey. Write to me with suggestions for the show, questions you want answered at [email protected], follow me on twitter, Instagram and Facebook. Check out my YouTube channel: Dr Lori Beth Bisbey. For a free 30-minute strategy session with me, go to https://the-intimacy-coach.com/and click the button that says click here! on the contact page. Please leave a review on iTunes and stitcher if you enjoy the show. I look forward to seeing you next week.

Explicit: Yes

Sex Spoken Here Vlog Intro

Release Date: 08/01/2018

Description: Sex Spoken Here Vlog Intro   Hi everyone.  This week begins the first Sex Spoken Here Vlog. From now on, a video will be published on YouTube here, the audio will remain available as a podcast through Apple podcast, Stitcher, Libsyn etc and published on my website.    Podcast notes will be on my website and Libsyn etc.    I will be on my own some, joined by some amazing guests and sometimes out and about. Please subscribe to my YouTube channel to keep up to date!   Thanks for listening to Sex Spoken Here and I look forward to presenting things for you to watch and seeing you soon.

Explicit: Yes

Sex Spoken Here: Overcoming Shame

Release Date: 06/06/2018

Description: Sex Spoken Here:  Overcoming Shame     Welcome to my virtual therapy room!  I am Dr Lori Beth Bisbey and this is Sex Spoken Here. Remember that this podcast deals with adult themes so if you don’t have privacy you might wish to put on your headphones.   This week I am talking about overcoming shame.    Dr Brene Brown is a shame researcher.  One of my favourite quotes of hers is: ‘Loving ourselves through the process of owning our story is the bravest thing we’ll ever do’.  Shame is one of the most common issues that clients bring to me as a therapist and as a coach.  People come with shame about their desires, about their past sexual experiences.  They come with shame about their feelings for others and some come with shame and they cannot figure out where the shame has come from.   We experience shame when we cannot own something we have thought, felt, or done or some part of ourselves.  Guilt can be appropriate when we have done something we know is wrong and harmed ourselves and/or others.  It serves the purpose of getting us to look at the wrong and highlighting the wrong so that we can make amends, change our behaviour.  Shame is toxic.  It comes from conditioning via our upbringing, via our cultural group, via the overarching society.    This shame doesn’t serve a purpose.  It keeps us trapped and makes it impossible for us to live in fullness and authenticity.  The difference between shame and guilt: Shame is ‘I am bad/wrong’ and guilt is ‘My behaviour is bad/wrong’.   When we experience shame, it can last a long time.  It hides in our unconscious and we are not necessarily aware of it until it is triggered.  Our own thoughts can trigger the shame.   Toxic shame most often comes from lots of shame experiences we have as children.  We internalise these experiences and the shame spreads.   ‘Shame is the intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging’ Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW    Dr Brown goes on to say that shame needs ‘three things to grow exponentially in our lives: secrecy, silence, and judgement.  Shame cannot survive being spoken.  It cannot survive empathy.’   Sadly, our culture encourages shame around sex and sexuality.  Many of us grow up ashamed of our bodies, ashamed of any pleasure we can from our bodies, ashamed of our desires and ashamed of our attractions.    It starts when we first discover our bodies can bring us pleasure and our caregivers find us enjoying our bodies.  All too often, caregivers shame children for touching themselves.  Instead of telling a child that it is wonderful that they are enjoying their body but it would be better to do so in private, parents often become flustered and angry and ashamed and then shame the child.   We learn quickly what our parents, family members, and other trusted adults feel is ‘shameful’ and we internalise that shame.  We feel shame when no matter what we do to modify our desires or attractions, we still experience them.  Many religions instil lots of shame around sexual behaviour, desire and attraction.  They hand down strict rules about when sex is appropriate, what type of sex is appropriate and even when and if pleasure is permitted.    For example, in Judaism, sexual pleasure is permitted and appropriate when you have sex within marriage.  If you have sex outside of marriage, that is considered inappropriate and if you are part of a religious community and this is discovered, one of the tools people have to punish you is to shame you.   Some people never get past this shame and sex becomes an emotional mine field.  They find it impossible to relax and fully enjoy sex.  When they do enjoy sex, they feel ashamed afterwards as well.  Some people find it hard to maintain intimate relationships because of their shame.  They find it hard to be...

Explicit: Yes

Sex, Here & Now

Release Date: 08/13/2020

Authors: sexhereandnow

Description: Sex, Here & Now is a podcast that focuses on sex positivity and inclusivity. The goal of the podcast is to inform, educate, and clear up any misconceptions that currently dominate our society today.

Explicit: Yes

Stephen Eniayewu's show

Release Date: 03/15/2021

Authors: Stephen Eniayewu

Description: Hang around here for beautiful poetry and amazing spoken word poems by me...

Explicit: Yes

ArmedAndDedicated

Release Date: 04/16/2021

Authors: Mike Dunn

Description: Rants, discussions, and questions. Uncomfortable things are spoken about here and opinions are shared.

Explicit: Yes

Pleasure Rebels

Release Date: 04/21/2021

Authors: A Hot Octopuss Podcast

Description: Pleasure Rebels is the sex positive podcast for the rebels of the world! Talking all things sex, disability, BDSM, LGBTQIA+, fat pride, senior sex and SHAME-SMASHING sex! Pleasure Rebels is here to ensure you are having your best sex! Talking best sex, worst sex and everything in between!

Explicit: Yes

Unapologetic Sex With DG

Release Date: 01/23/2022

Authors: Dangerous Ginger

Description: Unapologetic Sex, is exactly thatI I am here to inform, enlighten and empower you through sex and sexuality! I'll be talking about all aspects of sex from cuddling, consent to BDSM and Polyamory to Sex work!!

Explicit: Yes

Sexual Knowledge (Sex Education Class)

Release Date: 03/22/2021

Authors: SEXGuRu

Description: Sex is My Only Topic. Ever had a question or needed help in the sex department but was ashamed to ask someone you know? well that's what I'm here for. No holds bar here. TOP 10 LISTS ,Sex Ed topics, tips & tricks, REAL life stories, And More

Explicit: Yes

Random Kams

Release Date: 09/06/2020

Authors: Kamren McNeal

Description: A hodge podge of stories, thoughts and life lessons. Every word spoken here is my own, unless said otherwise.

Explicit: Yes

Real & Rough

Release Date: 08/12/2020

Authors: Adrianna Cerda & Amber Drieslein

Description: Here to share our experiences with life, relationships, sex, and so much more!

Explicit: Yes

Keeping It Real

Release Date: 04/01/2021

Authors: *.:ButterflyStars:.*

Description: Here To Talk About All Topics And Life As A Phone Sex Operator!

Explicit: Yes

Sex and Consent Ed with Lgbtq Inclusion

Release Date: 05/19/2021

Authors: Jaide Phillips

Description: Tired of not learning about sex properly or not being included at all in the education? Here I talk about the need for proper sex education.

Explicit: Yes

Spoken Word - Poetry Grooves

Release Date: 08/31/2020

Authors: PoetryGrooves

Description: Spoken Word Spoken Poetry

Explicit: Yes