Shame and numbing: listener question

Yesterday during the webinar you were talking going through it, feeling it all.But what about immediately reacting, numbing. This just happens.I didn't want to feel reality at that moment. Because I was ashamed I felt disgust about someone, I didn't want that. I felt sorry for the person and ashamed so I numbed it. I know I started, or the system started to do that. And now I am so numbed, closed, it's like the system isn't able to be natural anymore.It worries me.