Shame, Anxiety, And Women With ADHD

Thoughts or comments? Send us a text!Ever told yourself “just do the thing” while doomscrolling and calling it laziness? We go beneath that loop to decode how ADHD shows up in women: inattentive traits, time blindness, “out of sight, out of mind,” and the quiet ways socialization teaches us to mask chaos until it becomes shame. Licensed therapist Mary Rothwell sits down with ADHD life coach and educator Jorie Houlihan, who was diagnosed at 49, to map the territory from dismissal to validation and the skills that make daily life work.Jorie explains the brain basics—dopamine, norepinephrine, and why frontal lobe filtering misfires—then connects them to real life: forgetting people you love when they’re not in view, struggling to prioritize when everything feels equally urgent, and losing hours to task avoidance even while your inner monologue begs you to start. We break down the overlap with anxiety and depression, how untreated ADHD fuels both, and why hormones matter: cycle shifts and perimenopause can tank dopamine and intensify symptoms. The conversation also tackles emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity, naming why women internalize criticism and how language reduces shame.Medication can be transformative, but “pills don’t teach skills.” Jorie offers practical systems: externalizing thoughts, identifying the next micro-step before a break, using visual timers, guarding against novelty burnout, and choosing priorities by consequences and dependencies. We talk about relationships too—how partners can mistake ADHD for indifference, why education helps, and the relief that comes when everyone has a shared map. If you’re wondering where to start, we outline assessment options, therapy for grief and self-talk, and coaching to build daily guardrails that stick.You’re not lazy or broken. You’re learning a new manual for a powerful operating system you’ve had all along. Listen, save your favorite tools, and share this with someone who needs a clearer picture of women’s ADHD. If the episode helped, follow the show or leave a review!You can find Jorie at https://joriehoulihan.com/Support the showBUY ME A COFFEE or SUPPORT ALFIE'S TREAT STASHLearn more about my book, Nature Knows: Grow and Thrive through the Wisdom of Plants HERE.Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at [email protected]. Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingvioletsFollow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!