Shame In Medicine: What Every Doctor Feels and Hides with Dr. Will Bynum | Ep13

What if the shame we bury in medicine is actually a signal for growth?Dr. Michael Hersh sits down with Dr. Will Bynum to explore the role of shame in physicians' lives. Drawing from Dr. Bynum's personal journey, from a residency error and personal struggles to discovering Brené Brown's work, they unpack shame's definition, its ties to vulnerability (especially for men), and its overlaps with fixed mindsets. The conversation offers practical tools like examining assumptions, shifting focus outward, and practicing self-compassion to navigate shame constructively. They also discuss building shame-competent cultures in healthcare. This episode is essential for physicians ready to unhide, connect deeply, and harness shame's transformative potential.Top 3 Takeaways:Define and Examine Shame – Understand shame as a global self-evaluation of being flawed or unworthy, often tied to perceived judgment from others, and challenge assumptions of isolation by recognizing its universality in medicine (90-100% of learners experience it). Dr. Bynum shares how his residency error sparked this realization; use CBT strategies to question thoughts like "I'm alone in this" and reframe fixed mindsets (e.g., "I'm a bad doctor") as growth opportunities.Practice Self-Compassion and Seek Connection – Treat yourself with the kindness you'd offer a loved one, as self-deprecation can fuel shame cycles in high-stakes physician work. Dr. Bynum recommends Kristin Neff's work. Start by naming shame explicitly in trusted conversations (e.g., "I'm struggling with how I feel about myself") to "shine light" on it, reducing its power and deepening relationships, as both hosts experienced through vulnerability.Cultivate Shame-Competent Environments – Create spaces where conversations about shame are possible and safe. This starts with reaffirming values like every person’s inherent worth, and recognizing that different specialties may need different approaches. For example, what works with surgeons may look different than with family physicians. Dr. Bynum’s Shame Lab framework encourages shifting from private rumination toward outward connection (asking for help, or considering how our actions affect others) as a way to build resilience. For those who want to learn more, resources like shamelab.org and The Nocturnists’ “Shame in Medicine” series are excellent places to start.About the Show:Created for physicians who want more than clinical competence, Better Physician Life is a space for honest reflection, reinvention, and reclaiming purpose beyond the pager. Hosted by Dr. Michael Hersh, each episode dives into the questions we didn’t learn to ask in training, offering tools and conversations to help you live and lead with intention.About the Guest:Will Bynum, MD, PhD is an Associate Professor of Family Medicine at Duke University School of Medicine and a Veteran of the United States Air Force. He received his M.D. at the University of South Carolina School of Medicine in 2010, completed his residency in the NCC Family Medicine Residency with the US Air Force, and received his Ph.D. in Health Professions Education at Maastricht University in the Netherlands in 2023, where defended his thesis entitled “Out of the shadows: a qualitative exploration of shame in medical learners”, which was awarded best Doctoral Dissertation by the Association of Medical Educators of Europe. He is Co-Founder and Co-Director of The Shame Lab, which conducts research, develops training, and delivers consultancy to advance constructive engagement with shame in professional practice.Website: www.shamelab.orgwww.theshamespace.comAbout the Host:Dr. Michael Hersh is a full-time practicing gastroenterologist, husband, father, podcaster, and physician coach at Better Physician Life Coaching. He helps physicians rediscover joy and balance by setting meaningful goals, managing stress, and feeling more present at home and less annoyed and frustrated at work.His mission is to help doctors who feel stuck in medicine create a more fulfilling life that they actually enjoy living. Through coaching and conversation, he empowers physicians to reconnect with their purpose and design a career (and life) they love.Dr. Hersh is also the creator and host of the Better Physician Life podcast: How to Get Unstuck in Your Medical Career—a show for doctors who feel out of sync or stuck, and want to explore what true success can look like beyond the exam room.🔗 Connect with Dr. Hersh:🌐 Website: www.betterphysicianlife.com🔗 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/michael-hersh-md📸 Instagram: @betterphysicianlife📺 YouTube: @betterphysicianlife📘 Facebook: facebook.com/betterphysicianlifecoaching📱TikTok: @betterphysicianlife If you find yourself walking through the door still stuck in work mode, check out the 5-Minute Commute Reset for Physicians.Work doesn’t end on its own. This is a short, structured reset you can use on the drive home to shut down work-mode, clear your head, and show up more present for whatever comes next.You can download it for free at: https://www.betterphysicianlife.com/commute-reset The Better Physician Life Podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or professional advice. Always consult qualified professionals regarding your personal or organizational decisions. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.