SHITTY PROBLEMS...

What this episode covers

Hey... Welcome to THE TEENAGER'S DIARY where you hear the different feelings, thoughts, and emotions of the teenager. Well, this is your host, SHADOW SPARKLING. I'm a different teen of 14 and I hope to enlighten you by sharing everything I have. Well,... Today, we are going to talk about 'SHITTY PROBLEMS'. And like always, I would love if you keep an open-mindset while listening to this. SIGNING OUT OF WORD. Wow! I was so fucked up yesterday. Really man! My Microsoft Word showed me a pop-up, just after opening one of my documents. It said that my license had expired today. And now, either renewing my license, that by paying Rs. 6199 (as I had seen) for a Word 365 Family (probably the most price-worthy one). Or I could install another pirated or cracked version of Word. Up to this date, I am running a pirated version of Word 2019. Well, the problem occurred yesterday and now, it’s solved. How? I SIGNED OUT of my Microsoft accounts. But that idea came after trying to install other cracked versions and somehow, failing at each one. MY MORNING RITUAL. My morning ritual is waking up early at 4 am and then, get freshened up by peeing, brushing and splashing my face with water. I then go up tip toe up to the roof and start my MEDITATION. Then, after spending my first twenty minutes in a meaningful way, I come back down and do my own shit. It’s not easy to do whatever I do because I need to access my laptop to learn. I download the videos the previous day and plan what I want to learn. It could be anything like watching those videos (tutorials mainly) or writing my diary, this is what you are reading. The problem here is that both of my parents aren’t supportive of what I do. And really thank The Creator, that I sleep alone in my own bed in the other room. So, whenever I hear a footstep from the other room, in the morning, I close the screen and pretend to asleep. You don’t know how fucking problem this is, until you’ve done something secretly. There’s also once that I was caught. But excuse can be a powerful thing when said right. INTO YOUR OWN SHIT. Spending whatever time I have MEANINGFULLY is a really hardcore goal of mine. I am VERY CONSERVATIVE about my own time. So CONSERVATIVE that, I would rather spend the free 5 minutes I have LEARNING SOMETHING, instead of messaging my friends on Instagram. I have a separate time slot for that. Well, LEARNING and NOT studying has been the main thing. The one thing I truly work hard on every single day, is on the TODAY’S HIGHLIGHT, which I decide the previous night. I DO & MIND MY OWN SHIT. But problems do arise when you GO HARDCORE into your own shit. That too SOMETIMES. FINISHING MATHS. I remember that my maths private tutor told me to make a solve of my school’s math book. By ‘making a SOLVE’, he meant to put all the questions’ all the answers into one large copy. This large copy had been very useful to me, in my previous class and hence I made that my month’s goal. I would wake up spend my general learning time and then, be the MATHS NERD. My school was not open, I mean the session hadn’t yet started. On the fifth or sixth day, I had a hard scolding about just doing maths and neglecting the other subjects. That scolding became regular and to finish that I had to adjust it with my learning time (in the morning). I finished the entire book in fourteen days, ending up with two copies, which in total had the solutions of all the questions of the entire 15 chapters of my maths book. Technically, I FINISHED THE MATHS SYLLABUS OF MY UPCOMING CLASS even before I got admission. The problem was the continuous observation of my parents. I had a rough idea that an outburst is on the way. But that outburst which I expected, was harsher and more time-consuming. I happened on the thirteenth day, when my tutor was about to leave and my parents (mostly Baba) had a rough talk of an hour with him, in front of me. Read about in full here. It was not the best things to happen. But I taught me to make others see what they want to see (a little). THE PROPOSAL. Well, things just had been a little better after I had some meaningful talk with Indranil da (my private maths tutor, who was shamed by my parents). Well, I checked the Instagram while Indranil da was reading something. I saw HER TEXTS, saying ‘my bf proposed me FRIDAY’. Today is Saturday. I was just ??. SHOCKED. I told him about her. I couldn’t stop myself from telling him about her. Now, there are two people who know that she is my LOVE INTEREST. I even told him about my REGRET when I felt death pass by during PARAGLIDING. Read about that here. Well, I don’t think that I will get betrayed. But I am a little shaken. We all are, when the person you love, freely texts you that she has been proposed. I don’t think I might even propose her. Because I know, I WOULD NEVER GROW if I went in a relationship with her. Still I don’t think I COULD EVER STOP CARING or LOVING HER THE WAY I DO. And it HURTS now. FREAKING PROBLEMS. We all have problems. And the good thing and the bad thing is: Problems don’t fucking go away. It’s Disappointment Panda (from THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F*CK). They never do. Problems only get REPLACED or UPGRADED. A world without problems would be a world without happiness. Because in that world, everything would be “perfect”. Recently, I am having parental conflict and I also realized that I never got out of depression till the Realization happened (Read about my Moment of Disillusionment here). Things get shitty. Yet, our problems are good obstacles. And not to mention, we all have our chosen methods to NUMB OUR PAIN. Sometimes. GIVE BIRTH TO HAPPINESS. But it’s the problems which give birth to happiness. It does. Happiness is a choice not a decision, something that is fixed in this world. Happiness comes from choosing problems and then solving them. It does. The path to happiness is a path full of shit-heaps. Problems are good. They all are. The thing is when life gives you lemons (problems), you make lemonade. But the problem here also is we aren’t taught to make lemonades with all the different kinds of lemons. Lemons which we never thought EXISTED. Like everything, Problems have always been there from the beginning. It is what forced us to GROW. It forced our forefathers to be BRAVE. It forced our most ancient molecules to evolve. And it FORCES EVERY SINGLE ONE of us TO GROW BEYOND WHAT OUR OBSTACLE which life threw at us. THE GOOD LEMONADE. Time and again. They pop up, out of nowhere, sometimes from the places we never thought EXISTED. Well, there is a reason they come out. And PAIN (from the problem) serves a purpose. But every sacrifice which a problem needs is worthless if it’s done WITHOUT PURPOSE. Getting stuck is something almost everyone understands. I know because I have stuck a lot of times, whether it was some maths problem, or a place where I had to lie to get out. But if I don’t choose my problem and solve it, I would and could never look beyond. Beyond is where the future is. And at times, when you grow an UNBREAKABLE MINDSET, you DON’T AND NEVER CRACK. And that’s all it takes to make out GOOD LEMONADES which you enjoy when life throws the bitter lemons at you. That will be all . Thanks for being till the end. Sign up to my weekly newsletter , where I will remind you about the things you might have missed. It's FREE and will come on SUNDAYS . You just have to scroll down to the footer. I would be extremely grateful to you for doing that hard work of scrolling . Check out my INSTAGRAM & TWITTER accounts too. And also, you can get to know me at my FACEBOOK PAGE & PINTEREST. 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