Should this be happening?

Above is a guided meditation. Below is me reading the essay that follows:An online sangha that I join occasionally recently invited me to teach for them, and here’s what they asked for:We would like you to talk about a phrase that you often use in your online classes. Variations of this phrase: “What if you are supposed to be right here right now?” or “What if you are exactly where you are supposed to be?” or “What if you are meant to be exactly where you are?”It has sparked some discussion in our group around what is the meaning of the phrase; the use of words like ‘meant/supposed to be’ feeling like a predetermined destiny; and if there is any basis for the phrase, your meaning of it, and why you choose to say it, that is based or found in Buddhist teachings.The mind has this relentless habit of being at odds with reality, constantly insisting that things should be otherwise. It’s exhausting. I’ve found it to be helpful to challenge the nagging, persistent belief that what’s happening shouldn’t be happening, in a very direct way. What if what’s happening right now is exactly what should be happening?I know. It sounds like a crazy thing to suggest, especially given what’s unfolded in the past few days in Iran. But humor me for just a bit.The Buddha talked often about how we live in a reality of causes and conditions, and how each moment is composed entirely of them. Everything you do and experience happens as a result of a series of events that came before this one. This moment is the culmination of countless, infinite causes and conditions. So you might say that it’s all happened in order for this moment to take place. That is why this moment is so important to pay attention to. Because everything has led to this.And not only that, this moment is all that there is. There is nothing else which exists, and therefore nothing else could possibly be happening except this. So yes, this is indeed what should be happening. The next time someone asks you how you’re doing, you can confidently say “I couldn’t be better.”Yes, it seems that saying “this is supposed to be happening” conjures a sense of pre-destiny, or that there’s some divine being who has planned all of this intentionally. I’m not trying to say that, but I’m also not not trying to say that. I don’t know whether or not there is a God or if things are somehow predetermined. But I do think it’s healthy to keep an open mind about these things. The skeptical Western mind often defaults to atheism or nihilism, but that’s just as unknowable as the theory that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster.Now, the opposite of “this is what’s supposed to be happening” would be “this shouldn’t be happening.” If the statement “this shouldn’t be happening” leads to instant suffering, and its opposite leads to freedom, does it actually matter if there’s no scientific evidence that can tell us which statement is true and which is false? We can see in our own experience that one leads to suffering, and the other to freedom. So why not follow the one that leads to freedom?If you’re worried that you’ll end up blindly believing in some false reality, then I get that. But the Buddha never intended for us to stop somewhere and let our minds set up camp and calcify around some belief. Quite the opposite. He said ehipassiko: come, see for yourself. Keep noticing what contributes to suffering, and what brings it to an end. See for yourself how clinging to any belief leads to suffering. This is not about getting stuck in a belief at all, it’s about real-time experiential understanding of the unfolding moment. “What if this is supposed to be happening” is not a belief, but an invitation to stop living in a world of beliefs about what’s happening, and just touch reality directly.Your support makes a huge difference. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.As for whether or not what’s happening right now is good or bad, none of us humans can really be the judge of that. We don’t have nearly enough perspective on the universe to know how the daily happenings of our little world are correlating to the big picture. In the 14th century, the bubonic plague killed roughly a third of Europe’s population, arguably the biggest catastrophe in Western history and unambiguously horrific. But in its aftermath, the feudal system broke down, survivors inherited concentrated wealth; the Catholic Church, which dictated what you were allowed believe, what you could read, whether or not you were destined for hell, and who would be in charge— lost much of its power. People began to question authority and explore other reasons for things besides theological ones; and the Renaissance, the Reformation, and the Scientific Revolution unfolded. As the farmer said in the parable of the horse, “Who knows what is good and what is bad?”And yet, the mind still constantly thinks it knows what’s good and what is bad, and continues to be at odds with reality nearly all the time. For the most part, we’re in agreement that this is the only way to deal with pleasure and pain. All day long, our minds point out how things should be otherwise: That shouldn’t have happened. People should know better. We should have more of this and less of that. And of course our go-to when we find out that a war has broken out or that someone we love has died is not “this is what should be happening.” But the truth is that this is indeed what’s happening. “This is supposed to be happening” is not to excuse harmful behavior or to wish suffering upon anyone. It’s simply a way of helping us land more fully in things just as they are, including in our own emotions and reactivity. It is only then that we can start to be available to the moment. To give our whole selves over to it instead of being constantly at odds with it, which drains us of all of our energy and potential to help.Possibly the most insidious of excuses for why what’s happening shouldn’t be happening that the mind comes up with is that what’s happening is somehow in our control, and therefore our responsibility. The illusion of control has us feeling an unbearable kind of helplessness. How incredibly painful it is for us to believe that we ourselves are somehow responsible for nothing bad ever happening. And how totally unfair. When we see that we’ve been blaming ourselves, that we’ve been carrying the burden of responsibility for way more than we are capable of managing, something in us softens. We get in touch with a deep kind of vulnerability that is underneath all the pressure we’ve been putting on ourselves to make things right. We get in touch with how much we really care. So do you see how the belief that “this shouldn’t be happening” really means “I am somehow broken”? And how “this is exactly what should be happening” ends in you being perfect just as you are?What if, for example, you don’t feel like you belong in this world. And what if you shouldn’t feel that way? Because maybe you actually don’t. Maybe you are wildly and gloriously other-worldly, from another dimension entirely. And if you felt like you belonged here, you wouldn’t be questioning anything, searching for freedom, or feeling the full spectrum of pain and pleasure. This feeling you’re having of not belonging, or this rage, or this terror, or confusion, maybe it’s exactly what you should be feeling, because all of this human experience you’ve been having is truly novel, wild, and uncharted— and now, having acknowledged that, you can really, finally, live.I don’t know, but I do like to keep an open mind. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit caralai.substack.com/subscribe