P.O.O.O.O.O.O! I was just having this revelation. The other day I came in a girl's mouth and how fast she made it to the bathroom offended me, bro. I was still busting and she was hoofing into the bathroom.
Like the first one hit her and she went like this. It was so fast, bro. It was so fast. I'm like, where?
Oh, man. What are you eating, bro? I'm not even smelling it. It's probably why you're clump snakes.
I don't eat any asparagus because that shit makes it smell bad. Even my pee smells bad off that. Really? If I have an asparagus at 5 o'clock by 5.20, I'll be pissing asparagus.
And my clump snakes too. I refuse to do asparagus. That's strange. Don't do it.
But mostly I have a whole foods diet. He does. I don't eat any bread. No refined sugar.
No refined sugar. Maybe that's why your clump snakes. Because I'm not getting that sweet. Maybe he needs some...
Preservatives. I need some sweet. Have a jam, bro. I need some jam.
I need some jam and peanut butter. I need some peanut butter. How do you say peanut butter, I think? Peanut butter?
What's the weirdest word to say? It has a shared accent and an Indian accent. Let's do it. Oh, gosh.
I know they say BSW. So you don't buy a vacuum, you buy a vacuum. I have to vacuum. I have to vacuum.
I have to vacuum. I have to. I have to. I have to vacuum.
Oh, have to is how to. How do you say cow, cow? No, no, no. It doesn't switch?
Everything's a W. No, it switches sometimes. I have to vacuum. I have to vacuum.
How do retarded Indians have. I have to vacuum. I have to vacuum. They sound extra retarded, dude.
A retarded Indian. Wow. You know how smart Indians are? Even our retards be too anxious.
That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. Geniuses.
Oh, shit. I have to vacuum. I have to vacuum. I have to vacuum the peanut butter all over the clock part.
Okay, guys. Nigerian accent. No. Nigerians have, like, a really big problem with, like, silent letters.
Okay. So, like, we can't say, like, honorable, like, Honorable. Honorable. How do you say lasagna?
I'm like, my mom? Yeah, yeah. She says, like, lasagna. I have to say it in her accent.
I made some lasagna. That's a good accent. You're very gentle. It is a peaceful accent.
It is very peaceful. I made some lasagna. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you speak violently with that accent?
Um, you just say a lot of... There are many rips happening in the town. We must do something to stop these rips. It's a lot of teeth sucking before you say anything.
It's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. And then you'll just say whatever. Stop your rips. I don't...
And then, like, it's just a lot of, like, you know, inflections and, like, teeth sucking before you say anything. That's how I know my mom's pissed off. I'm like, ah, shit, all right. This is actually why it was a problem because the girls don't sound that upset about it.
They're like, no, I would not like this. I did not give consent to that. I am not interested in doing this right now. Is there another activity we could do?
Please can't even move your penis. Oh, Jesus Christ. You seem to be continuing this act. If there is a way that we could stop it from happening, that would be lovely.
I would like very much to bother in my day. You're going to be Indian. I want to say it's not a more Indian. I didn't even want to.
Oh, gosh. Alright, so what about Scottish? It's crazy because you're good at so many accents. Everybody else's accent.
It's not the ones I need to fucking do. What did the Scottish say that's weird? There's nothing that I find that they say that's silly, goofy. I'm sure you can find some.
I truly can't think of anything. I don't know what it means in Irish. Irish is more like ours, right? Who the fuck is that guy?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who the fuck is that guy? And Scottish is more like, Alright. How you doing?
I cannae. They don't say can't. I cannae. I didn't.
Yeah, but it's like the language isn't... They speak English, so it's not as fun. You know what I'm saying? I mean...
I wish I had them speak in something else. The native language of Nigeria is English. But isn't it like Evo? Evo, Yoruba, it's just like Ilex and shit.
But the official language of Nigeria is like English. See, they get it. These countries are trying to keep their fucking language, bro. Well, I mean, we were kind of enslaved, so like...
Yeah, but that was a good thing that came from it. That you ended up having the language the world fucking speaks. You know what I mean? I'm going to Montreal this weekend, and these fucking idiots are fighting to keep their stupid language that nobody speaks.
That the French look down on. That's a great point. I think it's so trashy. You guys are like fucking apes.
Yeah, they're Long Island. They look at them like that. They bastardize their language. Get the fuck out of here.
What is that? Bro, but you can't even write shit and not French, and you can't even get a government job in Canada unless you speak French and... Get over yourselves. Fine.
Get over yourselves. French even? Just the language. French is such an arrogant language.
I know you're going... No, it's just fucking... It's very arrogant language. It's just, it's mad.
It's hard, bro. It's hard. It's pussy, bro. Your face right now is acting like a normal French face.
Dude. It is pussy, bro. Say bigots. Say bigots.
Ah! Yo, what's up? This is Awkosh. That was a preview of our Patreon episode.
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