The following show is for Mature audiences only, listener discretion is advised, and if you don't like it, please go fuck yourself. One, two, three, four! Do you feel your sex like this quite lame? But in my past...
Scared that your desires might be strange? But in my past... Come and join the Kinky World of Play! But in my past...
And now Fianae look at each other with evil hatred in her eyes. Stop pacing at each other! Hello and welcome to Perverted... Podcast!
This show where we explore the adventures of the Kinky Lifestyle, Sex and Perversion, and at the end everybody dies! We're starting like that now. We start in the toilet. Recording live in front of our Perverted Studio audience.
Hello Perverts! We have two! You guys, by the way, this is kind of radio-ish, so when we say hi, you actually fucking make a noise. Hi!
Look at that! I'm Fi. I'm Kathy. I'm Abyss.
And I am Elle. Hell demon spawn. Or bogey. Whatever.
Go back to 80s. Go back to 80s magic. Okay, so here we are, show 14. Is it 14 now?
Now we're complete veterans. Unless we pretend 13 never. We can do that. The poetry show was fun.
We had fun doing the poetry show. Most people didn't get it, but... We got no feedback on it. No!
It was just the show. They were like, you did some poetry there. It's very clever. It's very good.
It's like that whole knotting kind of like, oh, you did give us a gold star. Can you go back to your regular format? That would be really nice. How you guys doing?
Did you guys enjoy the 80s party? It's threshold. 80s party. I liked Abyss' outfit, which was on the show.
The Chick from fucking Flash Dance. Yeah, it was awesome. She was all, we were trying to throw buckets of water on her and she's like, no, no, no. And of course most of our listeners have no idea what we're talking about.
There was a movie back in the 80s called Flash Dance. Flash Dance? Flash Dance Dance. Yeah, and remember she had the chain and she was in the chair and they dumped water.
She dumped water on herself. Yeah, Abyss wouldn't let us do that. No, that would have been so far. But what was the best about that party?
Not the dancing, not the reminiscent of old classic songs, but the best part of the entire party was our good friend Hollywood Daddy squirming like he had knives shoved in his rectum. Every song that played got him more and more irritable and made him feel more and more homosexual. It was to the point where we couldn't even play in the other room because we're in the other room. Mark and I were in the other room and I'm like, okay, let's start some cheesy or kajagugu song.
Come on. And we start laughing not because it's funny because we just picture him in the couch in the other room getting more and more irritable. You actually left our scene. It was, yeah, at one point he was willing to suck a strap on off.
He was like, he was like, is it because they can be so gay? I'm just so sick. It was so awesome. I didn't have to party with it.
Right? And it was fun. I mean I dragged Abyss into the jail cell threshold when that wild wow came on with I was like, wow, wow came on with I want candy. I turned all primal and stuff.
It was really hot. There wasn't a lot of warm up in that. No, there really wasn't. I did get the hungry like a wolf song played as my top was growling in my ear.
It was like, I mean, it kind of kept pulling me out. The music kept pulling me out of some space because it would, yeah, it was fun. You wouldn't do that every time. Not at every party, but it surely was fun to have that.
Just another day on bed. Live with bondage, kink, and freaky sex. The type of things you see on bed. Like, I believe you have to be enlightened.
Or possibly perplexed. That was her. Now talk about that lifestyle. Let's go.
Find a piece of mind. Please know that every group or blog post we talk about specifically granted as permission to do so. Yay. So, Fettlight stuff.
All right. So approaching people in public during non kinky times as post was brought to us by the lovely leaf whistle. I love that neat. Leaf whistle.
She actually had a serious thing at work. So she's at work, mining her own work related business when someone walks up to her window and refers to her by her scene name. And then begins talking about how they met at a kink event. If it wasn't bad enough, they then asked about a row class and trying to get information and details about it.
Other people around her at work? Yes, her coworkers are there. There's other customers. And they're just standing there.
And she's dumbfounded. I don't even know what to do here. So what the fuck? She finally fleshed out and said she's at work.
They leave. And to her horror, her coworkers are now staring at her. And luckily one of them asked if she knew them and she was able to respond. Not really.
And one of them said, creepy. So really, what the fuck? I can't do. Who does that?
That is really excited person. Noob has not realized yet that you need to draw that line. That's the end of someone's job. That is her experience because she says on her profile she's in the medical field.
Oh wow. Yeah. That would be my biggest fear. Like literally.
Just like, are you fucking kidding? Yeah, that's a confidentiality. Good topic to cover here on perverted podcast. I get that when you're new, you're excited.
It has not yet occurred to you that you need to draw that line and you need to be careful. Sometimes you just stick your fucking foot in it and do something totally douchey like that. But I still, I get that you're new, but why on earth would anyone go up to someone outside of a BDSM setting and just start? Because they're not thinking about it because they're so excited to see someone that makes what they do feel normal.
And they're like, hey, I know you because I saw you with that thing. We both do. Hey, that's a connection we have in this real world. And it's exciting.
But you have to remember because maybe they haven't considered it yet. You are potentially outing someone who doesn't want to be outed in a situation where they don't want to be outed. Don't do that. People lose their jobs.
People get outed to their families. Sometimes malicious, sometimes innocently, like hopefully this was either way. It doesn't matter if you fucking outed her. Families can get ruined.
We've seen experiences where now people are going to lose their kids in custody battles because people know of the fact that they're kinky and they're going to bring that to court that is still living in the dark ages. I mean, this is really serious shit. We're in an open, I mean, this is one of those things where we have the benefit of being in a community to where like Kathy and I teach orientation at threshold three times a month. So we pound at people and said, every month, if you see somebody that you know from the dungeon, do not approach them, do not go and contact them.
Now, this and I were at Frickin Costco the other day. Perfect example. Cutting right in front of us. The place was packed.
Somebody I know I have spoken with, whatever, and she went one way and I turned my cart the other way and just completely pretended like I didn't even know this person existed. And that is what you have to do. Unless you know for sure that somebody is completely out. You can seriously ruin someone's life.
I mean, she also points out she's at her work. She has her name tag with her actual name on it. And it's generally if you have to refer to someone by their scene name and they're in a position where their actual name is on their chest. Maybe that's not where we need to talk about the scene.
I'm trying to give a lot of benefit of the doubt to this dude, but I just I'm finding it. I don't know if it would be. Yeah, we're showing it was. It was a dude's dude's dude's stupid shit.
I know. I get it. Well, since you're the only dude on this podcast. Whatever.
My penis is glorious. My penis adds glory to this conversation. I'm not going out for that. Do you want to talk to my penis?
My penis is my penis can be out. Yes, does your penis. Does your penis. My penis respects confidentiality.
Yes, it will hide in your vagina. No, no. I don't know where I'm going with this. I have to topic like this.
You have to lighten it up because that is just so shitty that is like everyone's fear. And if you are not in a community, this is why we have perverted podcasts so we can remind people just because you're excited about your kink and want to tell the whole world and be an evangelist for kink, you do not do that. It also brings up another point that is unrelated to confidentiality, but it's something that came up in that blog that a couple of friends of mine and I were complaining about. When someone comes in and wants to know details about an event that's posted on FETLife.
Like go get the details yourself. Like you want to know how much it costs and what time it opens and all that. You know what I have to do to get that information? Is not going to FETLife in check.
So why don't you just do that? No, do you mind where for me I'm a dude. I have a penis. It'll hide confidentially in your vagina.
So basically the wrap up is don't be that guy. Don't be that person. Don't be that person. Don't be that douche.
Okay. Next post we're going to talk about is from one of our affiliates the group is called Mental BDSM. It's one of my favorites. It's a thread entitled Are You Ready?
Do switches really exist? No, there are only two people on this podcast. I know. Is this an existential question?
No, let me just say because I don't acknowledge you guys at all. The poster's name is poet Meister and he actually says in his post this is not a post to flame or insight anger simply discussion on the concept of switching. So I get it. He says it right at front.
He says he has a hard time wrapping his head around the concept of switching because for him domination is a very real mindset change that kicks in. In fact he had a sub once tell him that she saw a difference in his eyes that started startled her and turned her on at the same time when that mindset kicked in. Why is so funny? Uber doll.
The very look in my eyes makes you kneel at my feet. Is that what that was? Chest hair whipping in the wind. Po- Po- Meister the opinions of Boogie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of him.
If you have a dick I am going to fuck with you. What he says is in his own words it is not like a switch I choose to turn on I believe the same is true of submission. I think here is where he has it wrong. It is a switch.
It is not an easy switch. I believe my opinion is that the higher you are on one end of the spectrum whether you are way on the side of submission or way on the side of domination. It actually takes you a longer time and you have to figure out how to do it how to flip that switch properly so you don't get hurt. You don't fry much of your brain like I have in the past.
I have to learn that the hard way because right in the middle of the scene in the past when I was subbing to someone which is a really hard thing for me to do because I am naturally very dominant in my own life. I just switched over into some kind of dominant authoritative mode based on what we are talking about and I literally got dizzy. It is a switch that you turn on. It is a switch that is always as simple as flicking a light switch on and off.
I think what you said was interesting. I am just now picturing the graph that you painted. So you think that if somebody has strong tendencies towards both like almost half and half that it is obviously much easier to make that transition. There is people that switch mid scene which isn't always common.
Most of the switches that I know are going to talk more about this. A lot of people are like I can't switch mid scene. I absolutely can't wait for you. For me it is hard.
Honestly I lean more towards topping than bottoming. For me the bottoming is harder to switch. For me it is a trust thing. For me it is a vulnerability thing.
It is a lot easier for me to be in charge than it is for high also micromanage. That is the thing. For me to find someone willing to hand those reins over to, that is a thing. It is something I can do and depending on the person they can inspire that from me.
I have played with people that have inspired submission and different levels of submission and service and play partners. Recently I did have one where I switched mid which was interesting. For me it is about the person. If that is the energy you are bringing to it.
For the most part I generally lean towards topping. It is my safe place actually. I find it easier to switch from top to bottom than bottom to top. Bottom is a difficult one for me anyway.
I am very much like you. I had to find someone I trust a lot before I let myself go there. The protocols I have said in place were switching back and forth. We have had to refine over the course of months.
I would say to poet myster it can be done is you have a desire to do it and you will try to try it. It would take a while to do it and you would have to find the right way to do it. If you have the desire to do it at all. In terms of whether or not switches exist.
You are not here. You are coming to my McNutt. I know I have many switches in my journey through kink. A lot of them will say that it depends on the interaction they have with the person they are playing with.
Some people will inspire more toppiness. I did have a couple that were both switches. I watched them once when they were playing. It was like ten minutes of you feel like topping?
I was like I am now the top and side. Side toppings. I think there are all kinds of interactions with all kinds of relationships. You have people who can do equal sharing of the top and bottoming.
I know people who are heavy on the bottom and impact. Who will rope top? It is interesting you mention that the level of power exchange has a lot to do with it too. When I am topping on bottoming I am staying in the center of the spectrum.
If I am dominating someone or submitting to someone I am much further along the spectrum. That balances a lot harder to get. Did we fix that? We did.
We did. We did. We did. We did.
We did. We did. No, we did. No.
No, no, no. Stop. Castop. Get bits!
Learn some medical tips on kinky health with the bis! Stuff and stuff and blabber and blabber? We don't have it. I thought we had an intro.
You're femtaco? Dude! That's right. Felt it!
Fail! Fail down the shitter! This is part of the show where a bit is going to talk about taking health. Thank you!
Hey, guys! I'm so sorry, Ibis. Okay. I'll only find up once Boogie Fucks up all the time.
Whatever. We don't have that line. The nurse that hurts! Oh, my God.
Get him a bis. Hey, guys! So today we're going to talk about a very real and very sensitive problem that affects millions of men every day. That is a reptile dysfunction.
Ah, yeah. We're here, finally, show 14. Giving this issue a cute cuddly euphemism like the narcoleptic woodchuck. Wow!
You come up with these every time? That is awesome! I thought that it might be a narcoleptic woodchuck. Because it says wood.
I also thought that that might be a little harsh. No, it's fine. Oh, Connie's snoring. No, you're booing.
Uh, Edie is the inability to develop and maintain an erection for a satisfactory satisfaction. Or a satisfactory sexual encounter. Or activity with the absence of the ejectary disorder, like premature ejaculation. So if you can't get one up or keep it up, that's generally going to be Edie.
But cut yourself some slack. Because remember, developing an erection is a complex event. It involves psychological, neurological, endocrine, vascular, and anatomical areas. So it's not just like a bam, we have an erection.
So if it doesn't always come up, you've got to cut yourself some slack. I'm going to open this up and throw some stuff in later because I know someone's chomping at the bit. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to show you the world.
Yeah, I have a song about it. I do have a song about it. It doesn't mean that I didn't. There's this.
We're here. There's a thing. I have erectile dysfunction. I've had erectile dysfunction most of my life.
I've suffered with it. It has been the most painful suicidal thought-inducing aspect of my entire existence as a sexual human being because sex is really important to me. And being in a situation where all of a sudden you're there and she's ready to go. And all of a sudden you're like, man, I don't think so.
The humiliation that comes along with that, the actual terror and just so many experiences like that in my life that obviously that is something that I've made peace with. I make jokes about it. I talked about it. But it actually really was a very long fucked up lonely process which is why I decided to make a song and talk about it openly because there's millions of people out there.
Actually, there's 18 million men just in the US over the age of 20 that are affected by erectile dysfunction. Wow. And it's 5% of men above the age of 40 have complete erectile dysfunction. Like it does not work.
And that number increases by 15% for men over the age of 70 and mild to moderate because a lot of people I have run into a lot of lovers who occasionally can't get it up. Say the word. I mean, it's one of those things. I've had multiple I don't take it personally.
It's but it's like sometimes it doesn't happen. And honestly, for every decade a man's life, the percentage goes up. Like for 50 year old 50% of them have mild to moderate age 60% of 60 year olds 70% of 70 year olds. I mean, this is a thing.
So that's when popsicle sticks and duct tape come into play. When that shit goes limp, I'm fucking giving the popsicle. And it can be different causes. I mean, there's so many like anything to do with cardiovascular disease.
If you have hypertension, if you have diabetes, depression, lifestyle choices, alcohol, obesity, trauma. Like if you have trauma to the area, you'll have you can have issues along with neurological like that you've had a stroke or just just like aging. I mean, these are all issues much like the women have the delicate ecosystem. A dude's dick isn't always on the band.
Yeah, we can't fake it. I mean, I have so many fucking things that I wanted to share about this because I really don't want dudes out there to be alone in this because what happens a lot of times is you start making excuses, your sex life shuts down, the person you're partnered with thinks that you're rejecting them sexually or that she doesn't turn you on. So you're making excuses. Some guys go completely douche and start blaming it on the other women.
Well, if you did this, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you've seen experiences where women now like, oh, yeah, he's like, tell all my friends that I'm actually really great fuck when you're hiding the fact that you're not fucking because you haven't communicated about it. You haven't found solutions. There are so many ways for this to fucking destroy relationships that it is a shitty fucking thing that can be dealt with, but you have to be willing to just own it. You have to be willing.
That I meet before we usually have sex. I say, hey, sometimes I have problems with my dick. I take Cialis. I take medications.
When it works, it's fucking great. Cialis is fucking wonderful. I always had a fucking sponsorship. A sponsorship to Cialis.
Cialis. Viagra or Levitra. When it works, it works great. But when it doesn't, even with the Cialis, there's, you know, just like you said, stress is an instant boner killer for me.
If I have stress in my life where I'm uncomfortable or insecure or whatever, it goes straight to my head because you have to have, you have to have psychological stimulation in order to perform. And it's a problem that's unique to guys because no matter what, and I've had women over the years of, oh, it's the same thing for us. Fuck you, bitches. It is not because your pussy will not slam shut.
You can fake sex. You can lube up your cunt and get laid. It may not be great. It may not be wonderful, but you can always perform without a hard dick.
You can't perform. So it is a different, I mean, I'm not taking away women's and securities about their breasts or body images or the things that we all deal with. But it is a problem that's unique to men. And so the open communication, I know I'm totally fucking rambling right now.
I'm not even saying anything. But the reality is, is your first line of defense is open communication with your lovers and saying, this is something I go through. It's not about you. Let's work through it.
And then you start learning how to use other things. And it's also something that can affect anyone at any age. And it's not just the older guys or whatever. I mean, it's something I would say that if it's a younger guy and say you're a smoker or whatever, you may want to go get a check out if it happens more frequently because it can be an underlying condition for heart disease or blood pressure issues or anything like that.
It is something that does happen that you shouldn't be stereotyped. But if you're a younger guy, you may want to get that just a general check out. You also need to have, like you said, open lines of communication with your lovers as well as your medical professionals. Because these are all things that if there is an underlying condition, and besides, besides certain medications, like, hey, so you do have a heart condition and you're taking medications for your blood pressure, the medications themselves can actually cause ED along with psychological antidepressants, anti-arithmics.
These are all things that we have so many things that could just go horribly wrong. I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but it now just occurred to me when I heard you list off some of the reasons. Is there almost all of them that you mentioned have to do with circulation and blood flow? Yes.
And yet it's a physical thing you have absolutely no control over until you see a doctor and hopefully then you can. But go ahead. Even though we have no control over it, a man's very sense of self-worth will be based on something that you have no control over it. Well, I don't want to get too deep into that you don't have control over it.
If you're fat piece of shit, get on a fucking treadmill and don't be a fat piece of shit because that makes your dick limp. If you're a drunk, stop drinking because alcohol affects your erection. If you're a smoker, if you're doing things that kill your circulation, there are certain foods that you eat that will hinder your clean circulation, there are a number of things that you can do. If it's like the 100% physical heart disease, something like that, you're going to have some success with taking care of your health and eating and stuff like that.
Most erectile dysfunction is based on psychological and not taking care of health that you do have a choice. Is that true? Most? I think absolutely.
Absolutely. Well, the other thing is if it is an actual health issue being wrapped up about it, even if you do get help with it, isn't going to get a, if you have the concern every time you take your pants off and you want to be intimate that you're going to have a limp dick, you're going to have a limp dick. You're going to have a limp dick. I remember I went through a season of a year and a half.
I avoided almost every sexual situation because I just knew I got caught up. Like I had my finger smash and adore once while I was bringing a new date up and it fucked with my head and I couldn't get it up. And then that led to this other one where there was this porn star and obviously she fucks lots of guys with hard dicks that can fuck her all day and that. And then it just went, and I was gone psychologically.
I just stayed in my room and played video games for like two years. Well, I'm glad you came out of that. So basically some of the other options, you know, therapy is always a good thing. You know, being open communication, there are a number of medications that can help.
You know, having, there's the vacuum construction devices that also, you can get me stinky face like what I am listing the options. That's it. I mean, it's going to jack off. You attach it to the vacuum, you know.
That's actually, I got it hard on. It also sucked out my spinner. Oh my God. Wow.
Go on a bit. Anyway, so let's check this as Kinky Health with a biz. Yeah, fuck off. So basically you can have the vacuum construction devices and there's even surgical implants.
So this is a serious topic. I mean, it. The Nike pump for the dick. Basically.
I can't wait. When it goes back, because now I do okay with, I mean, there's time, see how this works. And I literally fuck like a 20 year old for three days straight. It's fucking amazing.
But, but when it goes all the way, like if I don't die first from some heart disease, I don't know about. Dude, I'm waiting for the pump. Because they just put, I mean, they put bladders inside of both sides of your dick and then you just like in your net sack, it's like a little pump, you know, hey, like no, you don't even have to worry about psychology because now it's complete. And they have shots too.
I tried those ones and that was just that it worked the first time and then it never worked again. You actually put a shot in your dick and it's the medication they give babies for heart murmurs. And it, one of those side effects is a three and a half hour erection, chemical erection. So there's no matter what you think about or do you could play video games, whatever your dick's hard.
But usually, you know, the partner that you're watching doesn't want to fuck for four hours straight. But damn it, she should take, eat some veggies and get on it. What? Let's go.
I'm going to wrap this one up. We cure erectile. I just want to fuck now because I dealt with my shit. I fuck now.
I fuck a lot now. I'm so happy for you. You do. Yeah.
I'm really, really, really good. Well, fuck. Huh, Mark. Huh, no.
Yeah. Hey, just, I'm sorry. I'm good. It's important to me.
No, and this is actually an important topic and I'm really happy that we were able to bridge it and you were willing to be open about it. Fucking, I love it. One Girl, okay, I'll say this is the last one because you've got to have a sense of humor. Like I told some 19-year-old girl that I started, hadn't even slept with her.
We just started like the making out and she was like this punker chick who really liked to talk shit and I'm like telling her and I'm like, yeah, I'm cool with it. And she's like, oh, I want you to fuck me with your flaccid cock. That's too hard, didn't it? It just started laughing.
It was a great diss. It was, I like a good diss. I did. I ended up fucking the shit out.
Anyway, that's right. Fia's always thinking, go, he's right. She's sometimes irritated. She has giant boobs and her sex life is complicated.
It's Fianfie. Welcome to the 14th edition of Fianfie. Alright, first topic, negotiating from the bottom. So no?
Yes, that's what I was looking at. Look at this. This blitter's stinky top face on. Let's just bottom.
Don't negotiate, yes, sometimes we do. Alright, so you know when you go to a restaurant and they bring out the fresh baked like still warm bread in the basket? It's like an indication that's going to be like a really good food later on in your order. That's kind of like when you're top negotiates really well.
When you're first playing with someone and they do a great negotiation, it feels like this is going to be an awesome scene because they know what they're doing. They have experience, they're asking the right questions. This is going to be great. Sometimes that doesn't happen.
Sometimes I just bring out the fucking peanuts and the shells are all over the floor. I had an experience sometime in the past, sometime between last weekend and a year ago, that someone came up to someone approached me for play and he's good looking, kind of dug it. I was like, alright, yeah. So he just grabs me by the wrist and takes me over to the cross and leans me up against it and I go, oh wait, no, no.
No, no, strange man. There's this thing we do first called negotiation. So sometimes you do have to lead the negotiation from the bottom. And there are some, it took me a while to get comfortable with this because I have gone through situations before where I was more new to the whole idea of negotiation.
I've been out of practice for a while and I let things happen to me that I later regretted. So for a while, I just set the rule that I would not play with anybody that wasn't a friend of mine and now that I'm more comfortable with leading a negotiation from the bottom, I'm opening myself up to new experiences with new play partners that I've just met because, because it's fun. Because they're all over. And this is what we're all about.
Being horse, yes. Yeah, so. So some of the tips that I've come up with on helping me with negotiating from the bottom is remembering that I hold the highest responsibility for my safety. It is not my top job to be responsible.
It's great that they consider it and have it in mind, but it's ultimately up to me to be responsible for my own safety. If I'm not trusting someone, if I'm not feeling comfortable with someone, don't play with someone. Very easy. I have every right to ask them questions like, how long have you been doing this?
What is your experience with this? And you know, if they tell me that they're brand new, maybe I don't let them time me up or maybe I don't let them bring out a knife or something like this. Good coffee. Good looking out for yourself there.
This is an example from last weekend after he put me up on the cross thing and I was like, no, no, we have to talk about things because he had asked me if I'd be interested in a spanking. And I said, yes, the spanking sounds fabulous. Let's do that because you can't really fuck up a spanking too badly. I mean, you can.
It's one of the safer things to do. So we start the spanking because sometimes negotiations, not over when you start the scene, we start the spanking and then he goes, oh, hold on a second. And he brings out his toy bag and I'm like, no, no, no, no. We didn't discuss toys.
So he goes, yeah, yeah, I'm going to hit you with some toys. I was like, you need to show me what's in your bag because I get to, okay, every toy you plan to hit me with. So he's like, oh, all right. So he starts to show me and I'm like, that's cool.
Yeah. So the other way, I'm saying that I was like, yep, that's fine. That's fine. That's fine.
That's not okay. And it's okay to do it even when it's okay for someone else to hit you with that. I don't know you. You can't hit me with that.
And if at any point, because this has happened to me before, I say I don't like whips. I don't like them. I will actually leave the room threshold when people are cracking whips because the sound of it agitates me in a bad way. I had someone who wanted to do a whip on me and I said, I don't like whips.
And then they started pestering and pestering and pestering. It is absolutely at least in the bottom. Walk away. If someone is trying to convince you to do something, you have very clearly stated you are not okay with, walk the fuck away.
I'm just saying that. Was that me? No. Sometimes I don't know because I'm a dick.
You did pull a knife without asking before knives were on my clear list. But then I was totally good at it. Sometimes you get lucky. Sometimes you get lucky.
But we had established that trust. So it was okay. The other tip that I can give to bottoms is have that list of your limits and requirements either write it down, keep it with you or have it memorized. Because when you're playing with someone you don't think they might not think to ask.
I was negotiating with somebody recently and we were going through all the things. I was like, I'm okay with this. And we're pausing for a second. I just went, oh, don't hit my feet.
You know, not everybody thinks about that. But if you tell someone you're okay with impact, they might assume that you're okay with hating your feet. But I had about experiencing hating feet. I really don't like my feet.
My feet hit. So just have your ideas in mind of what is definitely not okay and communicate them with your partner. What about a torch on your feet? No.
We tried it though. Yeah, we tried another one. You pulled out on me without asking. Thank you very much.
I'm really a cowboy. Yeah, just become the dick of the show. The limp dick of the show. Just flapping to the side without negotiating.
There's a couple more tips for bottoms who are trying to negotiate with maybe newer tops or someone they haven't played with before. If you can, because I can, I can control whether or not I go into subspace. And if I'm playing with someone new, I tend to keep myself out of subspace so that I can monitor what they're doing. Because once I go floaty, I'm not really paying attention anymore.
And I might be willing to allow things to happen that when I wake up later, I'm going to regret. So if you can control it for the first time you play with someone, it's okay to not be that uber-responsive, like that super bottom who's like all gone and floaty. You can just be your normal human awake self and still have a good time. And it's okay to also correct your top when they're doing something that is not good.
Some of them don't like it. Why'd you look at me? Hey, I'm a limdic. I don't give a fuck.
Some of them don't like it. But if something is being done to you that you're not enjoying the whole point of this is to enjoy it, I mean unless it's not. Unless it's a service bottom. I mean, I just don't mean to interject.
Feed gets to be feed. Yes. But there are a lot of people out there that play and they may not like play. They may not be masochists, but they do what they do to be in service to the top.
That's what they get off of. As long as you're getting off on something, as long as the end of the scene happens and you're still feeling good, awesome. But if something's happening that you know is going, that you're going to regret later, it's okay to tell them. It's okay to communicate with your top and say it's not okay.
And if they don't like it, they can go above themselves with their limdics. Oh, oh man. I'll slap that last thing on your forehead. Anything else you guys would like to add on this?
Actually, I think it was good. I've had plenty of bottoms, which I'm looking at right now. He, when we first played, we went over negotiations and then he later on, because we were planning on playing again, he gave me his list of once needs, hard list, you know, soft limits. It was very nice because then I can reference back.
I will say some of this, like, especially if you're a new player, you want to be able to set your limits and you want to make sure everyone respects your limits. If you are playing with someone as a, if it's a consistent play partner and you've already had your initial, I also give a little more leeway. Because part of the top thing for me is also pushing some of those limits and seeing where it progresses to. If you looked at me as a bottom two years ago, am I hard limits versus what it is now, there are very few, I can honestly say, I can't even really think of anymore.
So, like, example, the knife play, it was on my hard limit list and then, and then someone I trusted pulled the knife on me and now it's something I know. So I trusted no longer. I would add the spontaneity thing, because I've grabbed a lot of girls in the dungeon and just said, are we going to do this or what? Pull their hair, whatever, crack a joke, pull their hair off, we go into a room, no negotiation, whatever.
People have the right to say no, and I respect the no or I respect the, the red, which most of the time they'll just say no. You do that with someone you've never talked to before? Absolutely, I've dragged people fucking off by their hair. We've spoke three words and I'm just all you hear to do this and they're like, yeah, we fucking go totally fucking hot.
I've had those situations where there's been minimal negotiation. Why you raising your hand? We did talk by the fireplace. It was minimal.
You told me a couple things you liked. You did. I've noticed. You're talking about this.
Yes. Whatever. You hear the smirking of things. And then there's a lot of placings.
Like if you see someone's like scared and new, I pull out the whole toy bag and we do that. But there is definitely, I don't want to give the impression that you can't just try things and hope that someone will say no. I mean, obviously we don't want to do something non-consensual with someone, but also I don't want to make it so rigid that you can't just grab someone by the hair and drag a month like a gay man because some people come for that. I often come for that.
Or come from that. Also very aggressive. You just keep hitting the people. Alright, next.
This is a discussion I'd like to talk about just because I'm kinky doesn't mean I'm easy. Not that there's anything wrong with being easy. I've been happening a little too often lately. I've opened a lot of things on my social profiles including off bet life and on dating sites and that includes being open about being kinky.
On my dating profiles, it says I'm kinky. I just throw it out there. If it's going to scare someone away, I don't want them to even bother approaching me. Here are some examples of some messages I've received.
I've been talking about in the last week. Oh, this is going to be good. Let's meet up for drinks and then maybe we can masturbate in front of each other. Oh, subtle.
I'd like to take you out for dinner and then fuck your lights out. These are initial messages. How would that even work? I mean the penis is only at three, that light switch is like four feet.
And then there was this other guy that I was talking to from Tinder for a while and he kept asking me about my plans for the weekend and so I'd be like oh yeah I have a date tonight and he'd be like oh you're going to get spanked and I was like no we're going to go out to dinner. And then the next day or what are you going to go out to hang out with friends or are you going to get tied up? I'm just going to hang out and what are you doing now? Are you going to do this?
I was like I think you're a little obsessed with this whole kinky thing. I do normal things. I go to brunches and I have dinners and I hang out with friends and I used to go to movies I just haven't done it lately. But just because I'm kinky doesn't mean I'm not a normal person and if you are intending to date me, don't.
Which he's not. Don't. Well here's the thing if you're intending to date me, don't expect that I'm just going to get down on my knees the second you walk in the door. If you're intending to just play with me, don't intend to date me because that's a different thing but I still probably won't get down on my knees.
I'll be the second attempt. I don't know. I see the inner battle with you. There's a battle.
I want to be a whore. I want to have morals. I do better when I have morals. I have experience when I don't have morals.
I love to be. There's air quotes here. I love to be a whore when I like the person already and I still need to feel like they respect me. There's also I'm going to throw this out there.
I'm a big fan of like of my, you know, I'm a whore in the sheets but I'm a lady on the goddamn street. Which is funny. It's like saying that. It's one of those things where it's like just because I'm kinky in my personal life and also my kink does not run all that sexual 90% of the time.
So just because I'm going to beat your ass doesn't mean I'm going to fuck you. Exactly. Just because I'm going to let you beat my ass doesn't mean I'm going to fuck. Well, it's really just doesn't mean that at all.
It has to mean that. Landing strip lights on your ass and you hold the flashlight. What are you talking about? You want to get fucked.
Yeah, but still has to be with someone that intends to fuck me more than once and those are harder to find. I think it's so peggy. That's a good thing. Anything?
Anything going to go? No. No. At least just like I'm a whore.
I'm a whore. I will suck it. I'm saying don't make assumptions just because someone says that they're kinky don't assume things about them because they're kinky. They're still a person.
That's all I'm saying. I'm also going to call bullshit on Kathy. You take a long time to develop feelings looking to that person and all that you may play with someone but when it comes to your sexual life. Oh yeah.
I mean I goof off and say I'm a whore and I kind of am but that doesn't mean I don't want respect. To me respect and politeness they go a long way. If I have that if you're showing me that in your life you know I'll be a total whore for you but don't treat me like crap. Nobody wants to be treated that way.
I mean in scene you can go ahead and treat me like crap. Unless you're in a humiliation play and then you want to be treated like that all the time. I just have to play devil's advocate that there are people out there that just they are whores. We can talk about ethical slats and you know things like that but there are people that just want to go into a room and have 50 people.
Absolutely. I use those people because people need people. I used to be one from the ages of let's call it 18 to about 21. I was fucking a lot and the just one time was totally fine with me but even then I wouldn't want anyone to just make assumptions.
Just learn about someone. It's all I'm saying. Bird Bird Bird Bird Bird in mailbox. So we were talking earlier in the show about you know outing people.
I'm sorry to laugh. We sort of helped in the outing of somebody you guys. Oh no. We did it.
We just did the show. We just put out the magic and they listen gratefully. We love our perverted podcast listeners. I was scrolling through my pet life feed and I saw a status update that said just binging on perverted podcast.
These birthday was way better than mine. Fuck that organic bitch. I also really want to wrap it for a vampire to love now. Who doesn't?
Right. I did an LOL or whatever and then a few minutes later posted this person posted kink world problems. When your 75 year old mom walks in when you're listening to perverted podcast at top volume while you're in the shower. I can't run fast enough naked across the apartment before she catches on and asks what the fuck are you listening to?
I've read for a don't ask policy. She says I read 50 shades. Oh holy fuck nuts. I'm really glad I have a bottle of whiskey in the cover.
Oh we helped out someone in an inappropriate time to their 75 year old mother. I'm going to point out though guys. We also say we are not safe for work. We are not safe.
If you are going to play it at top volume with people who have sensitivities maybe leave that for the headphones. In the shower you're going to fuck up your headphones. You know why I thought that is because we are so awesome. You forget.
They can't even turn us off for the 20 minutes it takes to take a shower. And why should they? Why should they? Because we are fun for the shower.