Man, you're a dick. I don't like you because you're a big fat dick. I have a big fat dick. I wish you had a big fat.
I do it's big and fat and every time I go to sleep I see it. And you're dreaming? Yeah. That's where I see my big fat dick.
And your dreams. I'm staying out of this. I think that's a good idea. The following show is for mature audiences only.
Listener discretion is advised and if you don't like it, please go fuck yourself. Do you feel your sex life is quite lame? Scared that your desires might be strange? Come and join the Kinky World of Play!
Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!
Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!
Woo! We just started off the rails. Shit, I am alone. I'm so alone.
Hello and welcome to the perverted podcast, the show where we explore the adventures of the geeky lifestyle, sex, and insect-ing perversions. Recording live from Threshold's Love Lab in with Hollywood California. In front of absolutely nobody. Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark.
Just don't say anything. I'm Kathy. I'm a bitch. And I am Count Boogie and I love how Abyss drew all these little insects, little butterflies and bumblebees on our dry race board.
I guess, boy. It's a very cute moment. It looks very, very good. Here we are.
Show 49. You know what that means? What does it mean? I don't know.
We've been around a while. We've been around a while. That means we are just three away. 49.
After the show, 50, 51, and 52. And that will be a year of perverted podcast shows. Scary-er. It's scary.
A year and look, we hate each other. We so do. That's what you do. That's what you do.
That's what you know it's going to be a great show. The band has to have sweet stuff to start having tension and just hate each other. Yes, Abyss. I don't hate you, guys.
You can't be here. You're not rock and roll. We have to develop a heroin problem. Someone has to get their arm ripped off in a weird fucking drunken auto accident.
Not Defleppard. See? Someone has to, you know, Unger has to choke on his own vomit and then, like, Mark will resuscitate him with an anal plug. You know, there's such a rock and roll.
What about money? Someone has to have a bezel money. We don't have money. We don't have money to have money to have bezel.
But I get it. I think this is going to work. So what's going on at Potato Mayhem today? First off, I'd like to throw a thank you to everyone that showed up to the perverted podcast Global Virtual Munch that we had on, well, for us.
It was Sunday. It was Mother's Day so not everybody could show up. Not everyone could show up. But it was still fun.
I mean, at one point, I think we had like 11 and 12 people in there and it was really fun. Did you have anybody from over in the pond? Yeah, over in the pond? I don't know if they're swimming around at the time.
Across the pond? Whatever. I don't know. Yes, we did have some of our UK listeners there and, god damn it, I forgot to write down her name.
She posted the event in the British time zone. And so yes, we had some people from the UK that were actually there at the munch and it was timed correctly. Did you check back at like seven o'clock? I didn't see if Miss Dee fucking gravel tits was on there.
Stop calling her that. So anyway, we have the next one our time 7pm this Wednesday. It's always the for us in Pacific Standard Time. It's always the first Sunday and the second Wednesday of the month.
Okay, Unger's having a seizure over there. Unger's something going on in the what? No, you're just okay. Did you just hang up a cat toy?
What? No, that's not a cat toy. Yes, we take cats by the tail and we swing them around and do boy with them. It's not a very pita friendly thing to do, but my god, they flail their little paws.
No, it's actually a hard one. It's a memory of facilities. You've got to kick my ass with her one paw. She had three.
She had three. She had three good paws. Fucking for Silla. But no, it looks like I still think it looks like a cat toy.
It kind of, well, it is in fact, as we debated and argued last time, I went ahead and just paid for the official perverted podcast hardpoint. Is that what it's now called? It is the official perverted podcast hardpoint. And it is a half ton trolley on the steel beam that's in the roof with a big 3000 pound chain and a 3000 pound rig and a 3000 pound ring.
And all it equals up to we can lift 12. We can lift, yeah, we can lift like 10 marks, you know, for sure. And so it's very exciting that we have that. And so we can now do put a sling on it and bring some people in and do some bondage and shit on the podcast.
Don't shit on our podcast. We can, you know, we will do a perverted pinata. Yes. And so that's pretty good.
We got that. What else we got? Oh, you guys wanted me to play the jingle I made for our fine listener who has our own podcast. You were the pages page.
I was requested because I do jingles. And part of our fundraiser that we do on like Patreon and stuff like that, if you donate $100 to perverted podcasts, I will do a custom jingle for you like we do. You know, I do on the show. And kind of page took us up on that.
The pages took us up on that. And so I made her a jingle. And so we said we would play it. And this is the jingle for the pages.
Not playing. The thing. It was a little anti-climatic. Wait, what's the fuck?
Something? Oh, wow. I'm a talk sucker. Total talk sucker.
I muted my own channel. OK, so yeah, stop laughing at me. I do many things. The pages.
So very many books to read about the joyous world of sex. Love the danger. Reviews them all to help us find a nest. From nonfiction to the sexually outrageous.
Yes. King of your mind with the pages. Oh, thank you. It's got a huge, huge, huge.
I got to use all the little instruments and my drums and everything. We were really excited about the chime, aren't you? I love my finger symbols. I hear that.
She loves it. She's playing it for everybody. That is awesome. I'm really glad she likes it.
And it was really nice of her to make a donation to perverted podcast. So she's been a long time. Thank you very much. Thank you very much.
There's your jingle. What is Kathy and Abyss eaten by a mutant aunt? Yes, Abyss and I went to a barbecue at Griffith Park for MJ. And there were mutant ants there falling from the trees.
I'm just saying. They're actually weird. Like, they're huge. They're jumping on you off the tree.
Yeah, Abyss would come up to me and go, there's something in your hair. Oh, gosh. Wash it and then I pulled it off your hair. And it cuts in your hair.
I pulled it off her hair. I hear it's good for the body. I kept getting bitten by them. Apparently, they're afraid of Abyss.
They didn't bite her at all. Who would figure? Actually, it was funny because I'm taking back here after the party because we had the fun. The pajama rot.
Yeah, the jingle. And I look over at my motherfuck and I pull an aunt off of her. And I'm all of them. You brought him with you.
I found my goal. I get home. I sit down and I'm all, what the fuck? There's one on my arm and it's biting me.
I like did this. The most unsexy strip tease you've ever seen in my living room. Oh, my clothes are off. I was more like a strip flail.
Straight into the fireplace. Flail. That's exactly what it was. It was very sexy.
Yeah. It was fun, but fucking mutin' ants, man. Oh, my God. So, yeah, we had the, uh, perverted, not the perverted podcast.
We had pajama rot, uh, the show last week, but at threshold, we had the pajama party. Tamed. Our actually, which was blanket forts in the dungeon. And it would be our last one.
But, uh, it was great. The whole dungeon looked like a tent city. Like people we brought blankets and ropes and people strung it from the roof and construction. And there was just mayhem and sexy time and, uh, yes, blanket forts.
I wasn't here. Yeah. Kathy's car took an el pupo. An el pupo on the car.
A little el pupo on the car there. That's right. So. But, uh, no, it was a fun party and, uh, it was sad.
Because it never really occurred to us. You know, we promote safety and threshold. It was about safety and we're about safety. And all of a sudden I'm like, because I started the party a couple of years ago and I'm like, you know, how's the dungeon monitor going to actually know what's going on inside of the, uh, besides Unger just using his giant tallness.
Tulk into the chest. Unger our DM chair co-chair. Um, uh, yeah. Unger, can we dress up as Godzilla?
And we can make teeny, tiny things and you can stomp through and you can look through tents and stuff. Ah! Would you guys? Oh my god, that's so cool.
So anyway, so yeah, so, um, we don't know if people are doing breath play. We don't know because we don't allow breath play at threshold because we don't want to take the risk. But you know, there's things that can go on inside the tent, which mostly people are, you know, fucking and doing things because it's their chance to do it and not really be seen. But it just, uh, you know, most of the people there are good.
But, um, just in case, it's one person. Really, I mean, do you really want to have someone get raped five feet away from a dungeon monitor or not? Yeah, it's one of those like, eh! So it's a private rental, you do your blanket for things, but it's a party because it's getting bigger and bigger and people tend to get more and more clothes.
So it sucks, but you know, uh... Well, you still do pajama party, no blanket for it. Yeah, but people wear pajamas anyway. No, I mean, they don't.
Yeah, whatever. So that's it. So the last thing before we move on to our FET Life stuff is I need to address our tiny chat at perverted podcast. Or tiny meditation before you do that.
Let's do that. Just call in the hands. In hands. Or quite lightly.
Ungers or anything going on in the chat room? You've been laughing over there. There's a quite a bit going on. Oh.
Talking about chemical play again. I don't know. A little upset. They've got a thing.
A thing about that. Cigar play again. Like inserting cigar in people. And using it for cooking.
Using ash for cooking. Oh. Cooking ash for cooking. Like that's a thing.
Yes. What do you make with? Do you make like, you have to like marinate me with it? How do you think like, silly eggs?
You just... Asher cigar? Can I just remind me not to eat your chili? I'm not doing this.
Because that sounds nasty to me. Ew. Others are a thing. Well then let the chat room please know that at this time Boogie is addressing their need for the show to be live with them.
And here's what it is. So now you know, we're not going to play the show live during the chat room while we record. Because it gets like a fucking book club in there when everyone's following along with the thing. And we want people to be random and talk shit and come up with their own topics.
And it's a lot of fun when that happens. And if everyone's following along with what we're talking about, which they can't really hear, whatever, it just... It doesn't add. So stop being a fucking sheep.
Oh. Suck it up and come up with some creative ideas. Talk about dildos and cookies and stuff and random stuff. How many times have I asked you for that disclaimer button?
Right now I'd be pushing it in a bit. So you're in the chat room. I'm scratching at those of you. Goddamn lying.
And create your own topics. We'll feed you like what we're talking about. But goddamn it, man. That's, you know, not a book club.
Let's... Wow. I've had a bunch of email people like, we can't follow along. We need the thing.
I mean, like three or four people. Okay. Hey. Hey.
Hey. What? Some people are left brain. Some people are right brain.
Some people need structure. Some people enjoy chaos. Some people like that. That's their creative juices.
Other people are, they work better with limitations and examples. Well, then fly to Los Angeles and come and join the show. And you can be a part of everything we talk about. Can we also reiterate that we love our chat room?
I love the chat room too. I've just gotten like 7,000 emails from the point. Yeah. It's been a number of them.
I will not mention them. Okay. I'd like to point out too, this is also a good thing. It just means they want to hear us sooner.
That's right. They like us. Heaven forbid. Whatever.
Talk about dildos. Just go home and play on bed. Live with bondage, kink, and freaky sex. That is freaky.
The type of things you see on bed might believe you. Happy, happy, happy. Happy, happy, enlightened. Or possibly perplexed.
For your peace of mind, please know that the author of every post we talk about has specifically granted us permission to do so. The soothing sounds of a bit. All right. I would like to point out before we begin that this first post was listener submitted.
That's right. Apparently when I said a couple of weeks ago, I would love it if something would give me some post to talk about. I've had a few come up. Not very happy about that.
Very happy. Look, our listeners are active. Yes, they are. In the chat room.
I really like them a lot. Oh. All right. This one is called Under My Fingerships a Whole Time by K.R.R.K.
Really quick. Yes. Totally thought this was going somewhere else when I read that title. I'm just like.
You're talking like when you have finger a butthole. I'm just saying. I thought I was going to go somewhere else. But you know, sorry.
Oh, that's under my fingernails. I'm sorry. Oh, God. All right.
Well, K.R.R.K. is talking about her sexual experiences, starting from which we were very young. And obviously, as we all do, we start by masturbating. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
That's right. But I love her. She's talking about how at age four, she lined up her stuffed animals and masturbated to an audience of them. And it's really cool.
That is, I mean, that's creepy. Do we have to talk about people's masturbation? Have is it four? What?
Keep going. OK. So from that point, her sexual encounters go from masturbation to including real people. And she starts having a really great time.
A lot of them with great experiences. But as happens with a lot of us, they start turning edgier and kinkier. And she does not have a lot of success in finding willing partners in the vanilla world. So after a few failed attempts over a number of years, she finally realizes something and says, at 34, I have finally found what I was looking for right here.
I have found that I am not alone. And there's nothing wrong with me. I've always been looking for this. And here it was literally in my hand and under my fingertips the whole time.
But I wasn't ready then. I wasn't ready to own the things that took place inside of my head. I wasn't ready to let anyone know what I truly wanted. And now that I'm ready, I'm amazed at how easy it has been to take these first steps towards never feeling alone again.
Hmm. That is the bravo for discovering yourself and discovering the community and access to. For me, we're going to talk about, this topic is going to continually come up on the podcast because it's about discovering yourself in that time when you finally find that you're not a bad, shameful, guilty person as a lot of our culture and our religious cultures have put on us. So I just love every one of these stories that somebody found a community or at least they found people that weren't going to judge them.
Whether it's online, whether you listen to a podcast because it's like our primary goal is to empower people to not feel guilt and shame. And when you finally do find that open window that shows you that you're OK, it's just, it's really exciting. I thought it was a great post. Yeah, I never get tired of these.
I find them and I collect them and I space them out so I make sure I'm not always talking about them. But I never get tired of hearing how the positive things of this community can have for us. I definitely liked it because she did talk about how she had a bad experience. She said that she had initially good experiences with lovers who were willing to walk the path with her and not shame her for her desires.
But she at one point found a boyfriend who literally said, I would lose respect for you if you asked me to put a ball gag in your mouth. Doosh! Doosh! And the thing is, a lot of us have been there.
Yeah. I mean, it's one of those things where I had an ex who we were together for a very long time. I wanted to come to Threshold because we had friends who came here. He wouldn't let us.
He was like, no, no, no. It's only the only fuck there. It's only a sex club, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and which completely is not the case. And being able to find something and find out that I am completely all right with getting pleasure with hurting people.
And it was funny, this is also the same ex who said, I would never make it as a top. Oh, yeah. So what was E-bron? Well, the thing is, I think it's very important for anyone who is, and she had even said she had been married and obviously then divorced and this, that, the other.
And a lot of people, I think they kind of have to get their training wheels off because you do what you're expected to. You have your partners. You get married. You walk that path because you think that's what you want.
And then you start finding out your needs are not being met. And as you continue down the path and realize after, it can go two ways. You can either shut it down and say, fuck it. OK, this is not what's going to happen.
I'm dirty. I'm disgusting. I can't do this. I'm a pervert.
These are bad thoughts. I'll put them over here. Or you get divorced. And today.
Or if you're lucky, you find out your husband or wife or significant other is willing to walk this path with you because we do have people who are willing to find more spice. But you have two options. You can either shut that part of you down and be miserable, or you, like she did, find your new path and be brave and walk it. I agree.
Love it. I love this path. I had something brilliant to say. You forgot.
My brain is so amazing that apparently it's fermenting. Well, slightly in the background. But is that what that odor is? Yeah, that's fermenting brain.
Bigel brain. I did a lot of drugs. I really did. I did a lot of drugs.
I was just throwing a brain fart. I had fine great post. I had nothing. Really?
Yeah, I was just trying to buy myself time with the other 75 voices that I got. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. OK, we'll go on. OK, well, thank you so much for talking about this.
But I will blur it out instantly if it comes up out of the 10 minutes to make that. Put your hand up so I notice stuff talking. No, just trample over my wrap up. What was I supposed to do?
Thank you, KAR Arcade for that wonderful post. We're very happy for you. OK. Onto the next one, it's called Safe Calls, not just for play on being an independent cautious female by I love this name, Gypsy Smacks.
Oh, that's right. Sounds like a breakfast cereal. Like a gift like a gift like sugar smacks. I love the name.
She says, today I had an experience in my vanilla life, which made me realize that safe calls aren't just for playing or dating. I posted something on Craigslist that I wanted someone to haul away and made arrangements with a guy over text to do the job. One of my friends, oh wow, I'm in great form today. Are you touching the brain?
My brain is pickling too. Thank you. Do we have a carbon monoxide detector in here? That's funny.
One of my friends was originally going to be at my place with me during the pickup, but those plans fell through at the last minute. This guy seemed nice enough over text, but I still felt insecure until I realized I could employ the same safety network that I use in my dating kink life. 30 minutes later, I had three different friends who knew that this guy was arriving at 8.45 PM as well as his name and his phone number with instructions to call the police and send them to my address if I didn't text with an all clear by 9 PM. That's not to say I didn't have my semi-automatic handgun tucked under my shirt the entire time that Craigslist guy was there.
Born and raised in Texas, bitch, don't fuck with me. I loved this post. I love it too. Like, I actually thought of you with this.
I actually have been in the situation. I've lived on my own since I was 18. So basically, I've lived alone for a good chunk of that. And I had to be kind of cautious panda in a lot of situations.
Like, you don't just have random people pick up shit at your place. You don't have stuff like that. Not that I haven't made stupid decisions, but I always made sure like my neighbors knew what was going on or I made sure it was in the middle of the day where I knew my neighbors were home and I'd let them know, hey, so it's going to come over, do my key be an eye out or hang out with me while they pick it up or whatever. And having safe calls.
I think a lot of us do the safe calls. We just don't call them safe calls. Because I know most, at least I'll just say to the ladies, if you have something where it's going on or you're going out of town or whatever, you tell your friends. You say, hey, I'm doing this or blah, blah, blah, or you check in with your BFF or your mom or whoever.
There's always someone who generally knows what's going on and who you're with and when you're getting back. And I look, the thing that I liked about is at the beginning of the post, she starts by saying how she's talking to her vanilla friends. So they know what she does and how they're so concerned with her because they think that what she does is inherently dangerous. And here she is, because of the lessons she learned in the community, she's probably in a better position to be safe than any of her friends.
I mean, obviously I'm making this wild speculations. But there are so many lessons that we learn in the community that serve us so well outside of it. Cautious pandas. That's right.
Is your brain still piggling? Wow. Is it fermented? No, I think this goes a lot farther for safe calls.
And the one thing that we always want to point out about safe calls is we also gain kind of the confidence from all the talking about it that we do in the community that you have the right to tell the person. And this doesn't matter male or female. There's a lot of men that get abused too on Craigslist ads. And you have the right to let the person know.
And I've done this because I used to sell a lot of stuff on internet things where you put up an ad and then some stranger comes and buys your thing. And I have no problem telling someone, hey, you know what? I got security cameras here. I'm just letting you know.
I don't know you. But I'm letting you know that my place is covered. And so I just say that. And they're usually like, all right.
And this is one of the things that makes a safe call very effective is not just having the safe call. Because if the potential perk doesn't know that you have a safe call, then they may think you don't have a safe call. So it's always OK to let the person know, hey, by the way, just for safety reasons. I don't know you.
There's this and this and this. And if that person has some sort of bad plans for you, then that's going to make them pause and say whether or not they want to make up some excuse or they don't show up or whatever. But always know that in these types of things, the most effective way to be an actual deterrent to someone who actually is going to try to harm you is to let them know that you have these things in place. Because you've got to really want someone to go past knowing that you're being watched.
Also for those who don't know, what a safe call is. I guess we should have said that. I didn't think they'd gather from letting someone know. But no.
It's one of those things where it's like, say I was going on a date with Boogie. And you better get a safe call. I did. Actually, it's funny.
I had multiple safe calls with you. And you threw in. I was just a shy mouthful of water. And I was trying to laugh.
And it just came out all shitty. It's very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, so you went out with Boogie. Show 49. So what it was is my mother knew where I was.
When I was meeting up with this person, his name, his phone number, the address, if I didn't text at a certain time at certain intervals, certain words, not just I'm fine. The color of my motor home. Actually, for another person I knew, it was she had to text me things that were in my office. Oh, yeah.
Which was funny because you would think, oh, it's a table. No, no, stuffed chicken. You know, taxidermied frog. It's like random stuff.
So this way, people then know it is actually you. And the thing is, if you miss, and the person does a quick text and you don't respond with what you're supposed to do, you call the police. I would also like to add that there has been a number of times where the person who is the safe call has not answered the phone and not, you know, if you are going to be someone's safe call, please make double share that you're actually going to answer the phone because I've had people on dates go, my safe call didn't answer. And I'm like, well, I was a planet on a rape in you, but now that I know that sucker made a minute under, do you have something brilliant to add the blue light is on?
Actually, there's a question from a PBGB wants to know if anyone here has had an experience where something actually happened in the safe call didn't answer. Oh, yeah, actually. What was that? Oh, it's his the wire.
It's a spring in his microphone moving. I was like, Jazzy. I'm all alone. Is that jazz?
Go ahead and play on. That's groovy, man. I appreciate that. I did, actually.
I was seeing someone briefly and a person. Well, I was new to the scene, and I really got my ass kicked pretty hard further than I had negotiated. And it was when I checked my stuff, like I didn't check in at that point, and my safe call didn't call. It was not my mother, by the way.
My mom is a great safe call. Yeah. So once again, maybe, I mean, if it is something new, especially like a type of play, if you're special, if you're going to go to someone's house privately, and you don't know them, have two. There's nothing wrong with two.
I mean, most people have two people that they can, whatever. I think there should be a safe call service. Yeah, I think it might be safe call. Sure.
Next time she goes on a date with me. Yeah, I know where you live. I am where you live. But, I know where you live.
Be my safe call. You guys just safe call over to that bed over there. We're all sitting next to each other. I'm all you safe.
You're safe? Good. And I'm like, yeah? Although I did also love the end of this because she's like, you know, semi-automatic.
I have actually done that as well. Totally had my revolver in the back of my waist pocket. Right. Answering the door.
That's right. Get a protectorsail. And not shoot yourself in the ass. Well, no, it didn't.
Safety was on. God. That's a result. Revolver doesn't have safety.
Oh, well, she was safe anyway. But then what she knew. I just like her ass. I want to protect it.
Let's get you a waist holster. No, no, no, it was fine. But yeah, it was funny. I read that part of my.
I did that. I think that's good. That's a great topic. Very nice.
Let's move on. Oh, wait. Fetish, relit. You got to pick a fetish, relit.
Pick in the. Pull out the purple. Purple bowl of kink. There's the purple bowl of kink.
Pick our fetish that we will discuss. And I will write the world's greatest jokes for. What is this? Thank you, Mark.
Psych, psychrophilia? Psychro. Is that like lycrophilia? Like you're the love of psychos?
Psychrophilia. Psychophilia? Read it. Come on.
Kathy, bring us on with your fucking education. It's psychrophilia. Psychro. Psychro.
No. Psychro. Psychophilia. That's like a fucking manically depressed.
Crypolar crow. Just flying around going, cry. Life sucks. Love me.
Actually, crows are really, really smart. Fucking hate in the ass. They're smart. Well, they should be smart enough to get out of the way.
My pellet gun. I hate crows. You can teach them to say fuck you. That's great.
Then they should go and learn that and fuck off. Sitting outside for some. Them and Dubs, the two birds I hate the most. I love Dubs.
Sitting on top of my air condition. I'm like, can you throw Alka seltzer or something? You're in a booby mood today. I'm in a great mood.
I just can't see that. That's just that. Do it. You annoy you.
Just that noise. I like her. What are you doing, the booby booby booby? Ah, ah, ah!
Oh, look. It's one of God's creatures. I believe we have to send whoo all the time low here on perverted path. Stop it!
I feel like the who's one of our listener, the vegan? We have a vegan listener? We do. Yeah.
The inner vegan is no longer going to listen. She's very sexy. She's actually. I like how now you're like.
She's very sexy. Hey, you know, I still hate crows and fucking Dubs, but the inner vegan is still really goddamn sexy. So all right. So there we pick that.
That is exciting. So next week we will talk about... I hate you. Sometimes we just wanna talk about shit, so here it is.
A random host topic, bitches. Is that new? Oh, you're a piece of mind? We have no plan for a host topic.
Why? Because you are gonna plan. No, I mean, we don't have an intro plan for it. No, this is a new host topic, and the bones fell to me.
So I said, well, I definitely have something that I wanna say. I'm in the middle of working on a new, you know, master work of blogging bullshit that I do every now and again. And I'll just say it is... It's called, when Uber Dom hears the safe word.
Seeing as we're on to the safe things and safe calls, yes. Funny you should say that. Because we know I am the... I'll read an excerpt from it because it'll thrill you.
I am the master lion taking the females of my pride, as I have earned because I am the Uber Alpha Lion. Rarrarrarr. You like my lion, baby? Shut up, as my lion, I know.
Then in the middle of my glory splendor in dominance, the bottom calls out their safe word. So you called the sound effects. Sorry. When you actually hear it, as the top, yes, your prey has just broken the fantasy of helplessness and taken back control.
Yes, it is frustrating, and sometimes even a shock to your headspace. Yes, you are disappointed. Yes, you may get instantly but hurt. Your feelings are 100% valid just as the bottoms feelings are valid.
But in that moment, if we do not exit gracefully with care and maturity or are unable to, we have violated the trust of the bottom and now move into the role of abuser at the very least and immature douche. Now then, this topic is almost kind of in defense of the tops, and this is why, where I mention all the things. Because there's kind of this image, and this is a fragile topic. We all have to please, we are going to tread lightly because we want to make damn sure that everybody that is on the bottom or has to say a safe word is empowered that no matter what, your limits are to be respected.
There is no compromise to that. Your safe word means stop this scene now. You have that control and you need to negotiate that. We'll say on top of that though, is there's always this kind of image that we hear in all the posts and fat life, downing dominance.
You better fucking respect this. And that's all true. We need to respect that. But what's not being ever talked about is the fact that when you are in a headspace and you are grrr and row and visceral and someone says, hey, I need you to stop that.
That is a shock to your system. You are going from primal predator to now in a heartbeat. I have to go into nurturer and take care of the bottom. Now that is the responsibility and you shouldn't play with people if you can't take that responsibility.
But what I want to talk about is the fact that I have the right to have a feeling. I don't have the right to not act correctly on it. But is there disappointment? Yes.
If you are worried about disappointing someone when you say your safe word, there is a feeling of disappointment. It is a reaction. It should not dictate what's going on. But there are feelings there.
There is disappointment. There is shock. And as the top, you should allow yourself to say, wow, that really hurts. I still have to do the right thing and take care of this bottom.
But to say that you shouldn't have feelings when that moment is cut off, I think is kind of damaging to yourself. Well, it also kind of takes away any validation of the top. I mean, don't get me wrong. I will always stop if there is something that my bottom calls, there is a safe word or a stop, whatever.
I will respect that. But if you are on a roll, it is like taking someone out on a date and then the date going, you know what? I have a headache and going home. You spend the whole time planning the date, setting up the date, paying for the date.
You are expecting to have a good time together. There is a decision. I mean, once again, we are now going into, you haven't earned sex. No, I wasn't actually saying that.
I said a good time and spending time together. I just started sounding like, hey, I pay for dinner, you should fuck me. That's the guy point of use. Well, you would say pay for dinner and only men pay for dinner.
I'm just going to go, sorry. I go dutch most of the time. Thanks. But no, it is most of the time not with bookie bookie.
No, I don't. We don't go out. But you cook me food. I do.
Anyway, there is time to, there is time to, you have someone call red or whatever, when the scene has to stop there. There is a validation to the top saying, hey, you put in a lot of time and effort into this too. into this too, you're allowed to have a feeling. Saying that basically, oh, well, it was called now it's all about the bottom, it's kind of shitty on one side.
It's not, you have to acknowledge that there are feelings on the top side as well as the bottom. The bottom is to always be respected and they're limits respected, but you also have to acknowledge the top they're allowed to have a feeling. I think because we are, yes, you're right. We're all so crazy about safety in this community that most of our attention is focused on the bottom.
They're right, they're needs, they're feelings, everything that they require in a scene. And there's nothing wrong with that, but you're right. We forget that it's not easy on a top. It fucks with your head when, I mean, I thought that that little thing that you did with it.
That's perfect. The few times it's happened to me, that's what goes through my head. I feel like I just stumbled and you need to acknowledge that. I just, I'm now instantly regretting bringing this topic up because all these things sound like they can be misconstrued as rape culture.