I am your boss because I bring meat. You defrosted a hunk of meat from the freezer. Don't make a sound like you went out with a spear and killed some. I went out and I hunted for your fucking food, Cathy.
I went out. Should I show you my wild boar scars? Then you defrosted and kind of tossed it at me. The mammoth, the saber tooth tiger that I had to fight by hand to get the wild zebra to feed your ass.
Oh my god. And this is the thanks I get. That's all you're going to get from me. I brought you meat.
The following show is for mature audiences only. Listener discretion is advised. And if you don't like it, please go fuck yourself. One, two, three, four.
Do you feel your sex life is quite lame? Scared that your desires might be strange? Come and join the kinky world of play. Oh, and welcome to Pervert About Castle Show where we explore the adventures of the kinky lifestyle sex and perversion.
Recording live from the threshold of Love Lab in North Hollywood, California in front of our perverted studio audience. Hello, Perverts. Hi. I'm Cathy.
And I am Count Boogie and then we have Mark and Mark. And Mark. I'm like, wait a minute. I'm getting names.
Can I say? You're good? Okay, so we have Sarah. And then secret, Ami's friend.
Oh, RoboGuardian. That's right. We have RoboGuardian here. That's RoboGuardian.
If you notice, RoboGuardian is always there with Ami protecting her. Because you're in the room. Just saying. That might be a point.
When they need protection when you're around. They need extra protection. That is true. Yes, cover me in the condom.
Goddamn it. This is this is show 71. Yes, it is. You know what that means?
No, I'm no clue whatsoever. That means we have done 71 fucking shows. Oh, beside the obvious. You mean?
Normally you have something that it means. It really just means damn we have a lot. I got it. We got an email.
A thing today. Because if you've listened to more than 50 episodes of perverted podcast, you're now a PP zombie. Yes. So that used to be.
It used to be all the shows. But now we have so many shows. We made a number. So at 50, you're a PP zombie.
If you've listened to all 71 now episodes, you are a PP zombie apocalypse master. And if you have listened to over 20 shows, hey, we got to have a thing. If you've listened to over 20 shows on your way to 50 to become a PP zombie, you are now a zit. Which is zombie in training.
But it goes along with. There are people just wishing. They just like I'm just huffing through these 30 episodes from 20. Oh my God, Kathy.
There is so much fucking crazy shit. Abyss by the way is not here with us this evening. She is off to other adventures. I am not exactly sure which.
But hopefully they are fun and involved lots of lots of anal sex or something. Because everyone needs. Does everyone need anal? No.
What? Remember I can do the fake. Thank you Sarah. Thank you.
Mark, do you need anal? Thumbs up. Thank you very much. Sam depends on who's wielding, right?
Okay, good answer. Good answer. Good answer. There is so much amazing.
We are going to start the process by starting with adult con. Yesterday was it. You can clap. Thank you very much.
Smattering. Adult con. Okay, stop. Adult con is in the Los Angeles area.
It's this massive meat porn star event that happens at the LA convention center every single year. It's huge. It's lots of people. A massive space.
They've been doing like 15 years. They haven't fucking down, right? So I reached out because my verdict podcast has been on the air now for long enough that I figured we have something to offer. I just reached out and said, hey, do you want us to teach some demos or talk about BDSM?
Because they do mostly non-kink. They do burlesque and strippers, but it's primarily porn and stuff like that. I reached out. They contacted me back.
We talked for three hours. I told him we know what the fuck we're doing because we do this shit every fucking year, three times a year at threshold and every weekend at threshold. He said, you know what you're doing? This sounds like a great idea because of the 50 Shades of Grey stuff.
Here's what we'll do. We'll give you a 30 foot by 30 foot section and you do your thing. So we now at adult con, December 16th, 17th and 18th, will be at this massive convention with our own space teaching basic BDSM classes. There's like eight classes we're going to teach.
And then if you want to come down and get actual samples, we have people that will be there to provide samples of spanking. I'll be doing wax plane by the wand. We'll have rope people so people can actually demo these things. Threshold is sponsoring us to help pay for the parking and stuff like that.
But it's going to be fucking awesome. It is a big thing. This is our first kids broke out of the block and now you're getting some responsibility and hosted. Yeah.
I'm going to tell you when you started telling me this, it all sounded really great. And then you said, and Kathy, we're going to bring the St. Andrews Cross and a spanking bench and my back started hurting already. Well, that sounds so glamorous.
But really what it's going to be is us working our asses off in order to show people the safe way and exciting way to do all of these amazing BDSM things. It's working. It is absolutely worth it. Okay, Sam, I'm not listening to Kathy.
Shut up. Pornstar titties. Pornstar titties. That's a pretty good reason to fucking huff it for a weekend, isn't it?
Besides teaching people about safer, sane and consensual BDSM. Pornstar titties. Pornstar titties. Don't give yourself a clap around of applause.
Mark, did you get the dates for that, by the way? Yes, December 16, 17, 18, 18, can go to adultcon.com and click on the Los Angeles. And we'll talk a lot about this. Oh, yeah.
Obviously. This is now officially. You're very excited. I'm really, I am stoked.
They gave us that space, by the way. Yes. I mean, that's awesome that they want people there to. They said it's time.
It's time we start branching into BDSM. There's so many people that are into it. And we want people that know what the fuck they're doing to teach this and to teach our guests. And hopefully it'll just be great for everyone.
So we're really excited about that. Mark, are you going to get us some celebrity masturbation challenge people in the chat room? How many people do we have in the chat room? We don't know where Unger is.
Unger just, you know, he bailed. No pirate today. There are eight people in the chat room. Tell them all we said hello and love.
And Ami wants to have sex with all of them. Just randomly. Thanks. Thank you very much.
So, should we talk about Sexplanations? Because it's the other completely fucking legitimate thing that. How do I guess I'll legitimate all of this? I have no idea.
I have no idea. No, no, no, no, no, no. He says it's making up stuff to talk about. Okay, so Sexplanations.
Have any of you guys heard of the Sexplanations YouTube channel with Dr. Lindsey Doe? It's on YouTube, like 30 million views. She has 150 videos.
She's fucking awesome and amazing. Just a great personality. Sexologist, great educator. Someone that I really admire.
I've seen some of the videos prior and she reached out to Threshold and said, hey, we want to tour Threshold and kind of do a BDSM thing. And I was like, I saw her videos. I said, whatever you need, you want to come in here and film these things for free. Just mention Threshold at the end.
We believe in what you do. You are a great educator. I mean, she's like, how to insert a tampon. Like anywhere from like what tweens and stuff are going to ask about sexuality all the way up to adult stuff, how to maintain your asshole and whatever.
And she's really funny. I've seen her videos are amazing. Totally gorgeous. It wound up.
This is what it wound up being last Wednesday. I thought she was just going to come and hey, if she wants to shoot one of her videos, that's fine. The night before she's like, well, I'm going to do this and you're going to, you know, tie me up and talk a little bit about safety. And I'm like, what?
I'm actually going to be in this thing. I'm all shit. So I'm like, I got to now prepare. So I'm like, well, okay, what am I going to talk about everything?
Because she's real fast, fast, fast, fast, blast editing. So I'm like, okay, I can do this. So all of a sudden she shows up one o'clock Wednesday and I'm like, I lay out tons of toys. Hey, you know, you want to see these things.
What are you going to do? And she's all well, actually what today is pretty much going to be is I'm going to pick all these toys, pick all the rooms that we want to go in and threshold and, and you're going to play with me with all these toys and then explain them all to me. Total role reversal. So I'm like, so you're writing down notes and you're freaking out.
Holy fucking shit. So now I have five minutes to prepare a video for your three billion fucking users and hopefully not have them go kill themselves in BDSM. So I did and they're all her listeners are now dead. No, but it was actually, it was awesome.
And I'm like, okay, you have permission to edit anything. I say that sounds kind of jumbly or whatever, but it was really, it was, I mean, it was a great experience and we did fire plane wax plane, whatever and all, okay, everyone, let's put some safety in here and don't just jump out and do this. But I think the thing that Kathy enjoyed the most. I was assisting.
Go ahead, Kathy. What? Which one? There's just too many to choose from, which one are you referring to?
Kathy kept making a lot of comments because there's a part of me that's very S.A.P.O. sexual. And so I'm attracted to smart women. That's definitely a fetish.
I like women that have a thing, they have a talent, they have a, you know, something that they do and an intelligence and fucking Dr. Doe is a sexologist and she's smart and she's really cute. And I just, I mean, I'll guarantee you, you're going to see it in this fucking video. I, her path, he was laughing.
He purged on her so hard it was scary. Like I just literally like fangs came out and drool and I'm like, okay, young people are going to watch this, be professional, be professional. I'm like, so I know what I'm doing, baby. It's just total straight douche.
And I just literally, I did everything to contain myself. And then we did a scene where she actually got naked and the camera guy's like, hey, you know what? I guess they, that confuses their, you know, professional relationship. And I didn't want him to cock block her getting naked and I'm like, yeah, just let the camera run go out of the room.
This is really important. Cause she's like, I'm a sexologist. My body's wonderful. Let's, you know, let's do this.
And I'm like, please take off your clothes. I'm totally perfect. You are such a dog. That it is.
I wrapped her in ceramic and look what I got here. Yeah. This is the Saran wrap. I wrapped her on.
Look at that. Look at that. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Dr.
Lindsey. Oh, oh, oh, oh. She was so cute. I throw that away.
Daddy. This is going on. And it just wrapped her on. Oh my God, she looks so gorgeous.
She is very nice. And I got to watch you run your game, which was just a joy for me. I don't think she. She's coming back.
I don't think so either. I think you scared her off. But she says the video is going to be out in about October. So there's a lot of stuff on there.
So once again, it's a huge channel and it's great for threshold. It's great for the Pivert podcast obviously. We've clearly had a lot on your mind because I kept having to remind you. I'm saying I was like, grabbing her up in a mall scissors.
You forgot to talk about safety. She holds up the safety scissors. I'm like, thank you, Kathy. I was terrified.
I really hope because I just don't want to see as a bunch of young people going fire. Let's like people on fire. I'm like, no, no, no, no. I'm actually going to put disclaimers all over my family.
I think there are. But that's very, very, I mean, that was incredible. And then it's great. But none of this compares.
Oh my God. Okay, you guys have to hear this. None of you know this story. This is going to be the greatest thing you have ever fucking heard for those of you that know Cathy.
Cathy ran out of fucks to give at the end of the last party at Threshold. It was whatever. What was it? Market Party.
Market Party Saturday. There was a lot of people in there and Cathy, I guess, just got tired. I'd had it. You had the number of times I have to go to the morning into the kitchen and start cleaning up the mess that everyone leaves.
Well, that's fine. That's my job. But what I will never understand is people sitting at the table, continuing to chatter and socialize while I'm trying to skirt around them, washing dishes, wiping down tables, putting food away. And not once does anybody ever say, hey, can I help you out?
Sometimes they do say that. No, no, no. If you ask. If you ask somebody who I know and knows that I'm working hard will pass by the hall and say, hey, Cathy, can I help you?
I'm not going to these groups that sit at the table. It's like they're enamored in their moments. We're here all the time. I get it.
They're enamored by the dungeon. This is an exciting thing. So they don't think. I mean, I'm not saying you got to tell people, Cathy, you just got to say, hey, I need some help here.
They're standard. Because at 145 lights go on, you got to get out because we got to clean. We want to close it up by two. And they weren't doing it.
No, they weren't. They were literally just like so enamored in their amazing. This is great to be a dungeon conversation. And I saw Cathy turn into fucking Clint Eastwood literally and just who's an old cowboy.
An old bad ass cowboy cop in the movies. And literally I watch Cathy walk over to the sink while they're all sitting. Chachata table. She grabs the spray bottle, the gun spray bottle with the cleaning supply and literally with a 100% I don't give a fuck look on her face, watch right over the table and starts fucking dowsing the table like a fucking 44 Magnum.
Spleen all of these people and they're all like, what the fuck? And she just has us like, I don't care. I don't care. Fuck all of you.
Dowses the table. I'm like, guys, I guess it's time to get up and go because it's we got to clean. And I'm like, oh, fuck it, leave. And she just looks at me like.
And then walks out of the room. And I'm like, that is the most aggressive dick thing I have ever seen Cathy do in my life. It was amazing. Bravo, Cathy.
Bravo for the fuck start closing. I really, for me to reach that, I was tired. I was just like turning on the light when it's normally really low light. Turning on the light.
I guess isn't enough for most people to realize you got a vacate. No, you got to say it. You got to say it three times. I have a whole little mantra.
All right. It's time to get the fuck out. You don't have to stay here. Well, that spray bottle told them for sure because I don't even regret it.
I am so grateful. I am so grateful for so many things in this lifestyle. But the fact that I got to witness a full view. I got full frontal fucking Cathy just deadpan.
Deadpan, no emotion whatsoever. Like the life force had been sucked out of her just going. That was fucking awesome. Just a matter of day on bed.
Blood, the bondage can't get freaky sex. And it's free. The type of things you see on bed. Light will lead you happy.
Why are you enlightened? Or possibly perplexed. For your peace of mind, please know that the author, every week we talk about a specific regret to this permission to do so. That's the ran wrap away.
Do you want to do one a sniff? No, it really doesn't. I really did try to smell it. And she was totally clean.
So now it's just the memory. I'm going to hold it here in my chest. She was so cute. I wanted her.
That poor woman, you know. Do you think I maybe scared her a little? No. No, she was cool.
She's a professional. She kept it to herself. All right. Omi, there it's yours.
I didn't want to do it in her asshole. The raptor after round. Oh, yeah. Now you playing with it.
It was really sexy because Omi is very sexy. Yeah. Are we talking about fat life stuff? Go ahead.
I love your attention to what's going on in the show. All right. Our first post is called Hammer House of Horror Psych. I love the show.
I love her name even better. Don't get it twisted is the name of the poster. She writes, my period will last through till Friday night, so I texted the guy I was meant to be fucking. I know we have plans to meet, but I'll have my period, so I'm going to give you a heads up.
You in or out. Yeah, I'm not really up for that. That okay? Sure, I'll let you know when I have another free night.
Now, here's my question. This boy, I fucked twice. He's had his tongue in my asshole. He's had his dick in my ass and then in my mouth.
He's had his come in my mouth and then on his lips, he's made me squirt all his face and lapped it all up. So can someone please explain to me why? If asked and pussy and come and squirt are all okay, what's wrong with the little blood? I really want to know the answer.
I have never received a satisfactory answer to this question. I'm not asking you to go down on me. You don't have to be Dracula, but just having your dick go in me. I don't get what the problem is.
So please gentlemen, tell me why you won't put your peepee in a lady's hoo-ha when it's a bit messy down there. Why are you laughing? I love that. I love the pose because she just doesn't get it.
She doesn't get it. I can't even. It's not even blood. It's no different from what?
No, I get it. I have no problem. At least now. I have no problem with blood.
If it gets in the way of that and sex, I'm not saying I'm a blood fiend with sex, but I definitely, I'm not going to shy away from it. Throw down a towel, get in the shower afterwards, get in there. I also know that like markets really horny on your period. A lot of women get really horny on their periods.
They're going to come like fucking griffins. Why you fucking hit a griffins? Beat. You're like a griffins.
That's how they fucking come. And you see? See, look at the looks. You're all there?
Pretty much a griffin. Or a minitorist. I don't know something, but they come a lot. So I know that like, all right, get past this and whatever, but I wrote something to help explain to her what the problem is.
My penis is a person. And if I'm afraid of blood, then I'm not going to bury my little friend in it. Blood to many represents the stuff you see in horror movies. So putting my dick into a horror movie doesn't trigger arousal.
Other fantasies. People have like blood sacrifice and age play virgin taking makes fucking on the period hot. But to some people, they're just scared. Scared of a little blood.
What you don't understand is the penis is a person. No, it's not. So if I don't like blood. It's not a person.
You don't have a dick. My penis is a little person. I've seen dicks and they're not people. It's a little person.
It has a little attitude. It's a little dominant. I'm not super-morfising your dick. Well, that's just you don't have a penis.
You don't know. But so there's like a like, oh my god, I wouldn't it now. And she's like, well, what about shit? And anal sex.
If you are a non-kink person, anal is kind of the holy grail of sex. So you're like, well, I'll deal with the poop with blood. Yeah, horror, scary vampire. That's what I guess.
She doesn't understand frankly, neither do I, because there's so much that people are willing to be okay with that it doesn't make sense that blood is not one of them, particularly since the majority of what you're getting. I mean, hey, look, during my, when I used to get my period, the most heavy time, it's pretty disgusting. And I would, I mean, there's stuff we get everywhere. So I get it.
But if it's a little bit of blood or you're at the beginning or the end of your period, I just don't see what the big fucking deal is. I totally get up there. You get up there. You look, I can see you on the edge of your goddamn feet.
Let us know, vagimicizer. No, I'm completely with Kathy. Into the microphone. I'm completely with Kathy because it's true.
I wouldn't do it either. Like in the middle of like the worst part of it or whatever. But at the beginning of the end, first of all, it helps cramp so fucking much to come when you're on your period. And even if I am leading a little bit like one summer, I stopped like the blood stops like temporarily, I don't know, whatever, I don't know if that happens to other women, but that's what happens to me.
So yeah, I don't fucking get it at all with all the other things guys are willing to do to fuck you. Like it just doesn't make any sense. Yeah, just step up. What do you think about having sex with a woman on her period?
I totally cool with it. Good answer. All right. That is the I'm going to get laid answer.
Even a little authority with it. I'm totally cool with it. That's right. No, I record that as a drop.
That's the most energetic thing Sam has ever said on the show. Not really cool with it. Everybody has a right to it. I'm not judging if you don't like it, but what I don't understand is that ridiculous hypocrisy where anal sex is okay, getting a little shit on my dick is no problem.
Having a girl squirt on my face is no problem, but blood just because it's in association. When I used to have a thing with blood, the blood like poop is like, all right, fucking whatever, wipe it off. Okay, it's not my thing, but whatever. But blood I really was a little squeamish with.
And so blood, it's true. My penis is a little person. So if I'm putting my little person in you, I can feel the suffering, the fear of my penis inside of the blood. So now little person's quite little, you know, he's a little fucking primal animal.
It's purely visceral then. It's what? Ah, you use term and sentence I know understand. Boogie confused.
Boogie play with feet. One, count my toes. No, I actually understand your point of view. So I get it.
People do have a problem with blood. I just, you know, it's a little bit of blood. But the reality is is dudes, if you are out there in Provertive Podcast Land, it really, and not all women are into it either. Some of them because we're programmed that it's dirty and it's nasty and that's all bullshit.
It's a bodily fluid. You're one to have sex with a whole person. That's part of the whole person. Just put down a towel, do it in the shower if you do.
Bring some lube into the shower and have sex in the shower and then all the blood just runs right down the drain. There are definitely options. But as dudes, trust me, as far as most women get really fucking horny on their period, that is not the time to shut off the fountain. That was probably a bad analogy.
Fountain of blood. The fountain of blood. Drip it on your face. No, this is a good post.
I think it's important. It was a hilarious fucking post. It was a great writer too. Alright, so our next one is by my favorite writer on Fett, Ferret.
Okay. Oh, yeah. Don't give me attitude. Hey, hey.
I love the hate. He wrote something called, you don't want just enthusiastic consent. You also want Mexican dinner consent. He says, I only want to eat Mexican food once a year or so.
Yet my wife loves herself some Mexican food. So periodically she asks me if we could get Chipotle tonight. And here's the consent issue. When I agree, yes, could by no means be construed as enthusiastic consent.
I pause, I ponder, and when I eventually comply with her, it's often more they resign shrug than anything else. If the rules of consent were to be invoked, this would be a travesty. All consent should be enthusiastic. Yet the secret is a relationship sustained entirely on enthusiastic consent is often a small and selfish one.
Good long-term relationships have their fair share of Mexican dinner consent. So basically, this is like a give and take kind of thing. In a relationship, you're not always going to want to wave the pom poms and be like, sure, let's do everything that sounds great. I've heard people say, every consent has to be enthusiastic consent.
Otherwise, don't do it. That's absolutely bullshit. I love the idea of give and take, especially in a relationship. There's surely give and mark a nice relationship.
There's surely give and take in our play partners relationships and things that they like and are very enthusiastic about that. Maybe it's not my complete favorite thing to do. But once again, it creates a rouse, like fucking on a period. It may not be, I may have not the most enthusiastic approach to it, but man, I know how excited they get and that makes me feel good to be a part of that interaction.
Is it, there is something he said though. But that had nothing to do with the meat of the post. No, the meat of the post. He said something that I just called douche.
It was a fucking douche. Side note that you took issue with. I took a lot of issue with it because some of this is because he started going off on new people and how new people should be enthusiastic and kind of thing. He even went as far to say in parentheses, hint.
If your goal is not to provide pleasurable experiences for your partner, people should not fucking date you. And he used the adjective fucking date like this is a, this is my opinion that if you are not completely in to my partner, my bottom, my submissive, my slave, being enthusiastic about everything and pleasure and getting pleasure, then I'm a fucking jerk that you shouldn't date. So my response is 100% go fuck yourself. Because a lot of my play has to do with pushing boundaries.
People don't just come to me to love everything. There are many things that new people come and they want their boundaries pushed. I'm not talking about not negotiating. I'm not talking.
Everything that we do, let's just say, is has been negotiated. They have disclosed. I'm into objectification. I'm into humiliation.
I'm into things. I want to be challenged. There are so many soft limit things that I have done with new people by showing them a fucking cane and they're like fuck this. I don't, you know, whatever.
And I go, okay, can be used in multiple ways. And they say, all right, well, let's leave it a supplement. And it turns into their favorite fucking thing to do. It is not always going to be enthusiastic.
And the whole idea, I am not here to always be a service top. And I don't mind using the word service top. There's a lot of times I want to do what makes somebody happy. That would be qualified as a service top.
I don't have a problem with that. Sometimes I want to be the dominant and I'm not interested in whether or not you are enthusiastic and like what I want to do. I want to do what I want to do. And if you want to be a submissive that day to me, then you want to please me and give me what I want.
That's part of dominance and submission is that it's not always something you want. So to say that somehow I'm now a shitty person because I have a dominant intention to push someone's boundaries and do something that maybe they're not going to find pleasurable, but it's going to challenge them emotionally. Fuckin' Mark, do you think Mark wanted to do fucking needles? Mark used to be curled up in a ball and couldn't take a fucking shot at the clinic.
So that's actually what you just described is proof that what he says about Mexican dinner consent is accurate because she did not have enthusiastic consent and that. There was a lot of discussion. But the idea is I took her on a program that was not about her pleasure. So you agree with some of his?
Absolutely. I absolutely do. But just when it got that hardcore that if I am not completely interested in somebody's pleasure that somehow I'm like a bad person and people should actually fucking avoid me. I thought it was really douchey.
I don't agree with that one little side note he put in parentheses. I think I said clearly I agree with the idea of the give and take and the thing. I actually give it to him because my kink with when I play with Creative Explorer is what gets me off is that he's doing what he wants irrespective of what I want. And that's what gets me off.
So my pleasure is not concerned at all with my pleasure. I'm getting excited just thinking about it. I'm interested in your safety. I'm interested in the overall outcome that is something positive.
I took you to a place. I challenged something in you that needed to. Mark now can take 27 fucking needles. She goes, did you go get your shots?
By yourself? I didn't even hear about it. I didn't even hear afterwards. Huh?
I'm not going to get out of that appointment. She goes and gets her shots by herself now. She doesn't need to be taken in there. That was because we did something that she did not find pleasurable that challenged her.
And I was not concerned about her pleasure in that circumstance. I wanted to get her to another point to where she could now go forward and has total dominance over that fear. And I'm so fucking proud of you for doing it. I fucking love you.
That was fucking amazing. That was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen a human do. But it sure wasn't pleasurable. Well, I again, the main topic of this is I told you.
I can tell someone to fuck off. I love that. I think he's a great writer. So, what else?
What else? What do we got? Thanks, Farron. Sorry.
Sorry. Hey, put it out there. I'm going to say it. What?
I'm the dominant. No, you're not. What'd you say, Sam? I fucking, I'll fuck him on the period.
Get it in. Lick in the cow tongue. Tame in the taco. Barking at the ape.
Canyon yodeling munch in the box. Buzz, buzz, buzz, saw. Speaking in tongues, Pearl diving mustache ride medicating the hairy paper cut devouring the mow mow labia lapping and putting on the fish perfume are all less than seductive ways to describe eating pussy clinically known as conelingus. Today, ladies and gentlemen, pervert podcast listeners, we are going to talk about conelingus.
I think you chose some of the most heinous euphemisms you could find. I'm like barking at the ape. I got to do it. Mark, later tonight, I'm just going to eight bark at your vagina.
Let me know if that turns you on. I can hear you through that wall, by the way. What do you mean, so you can hear me through the wall? You guys.
You're going to be barking like a gorilla because I'm just going to get mad. You want to jump in on this? A little bark at your ape. Look at that.
She's open to it. No, no, no, this is as we all know bedroom rodeo is the segment where we actually talk about sex. We don't just talk about kinky sex. We talk about different things that apply to our non-kinky listeners too because we have a number of listeners that are not kinky that still need sex education from the opinions of people that have a lot of sex, which is us.
We're all hoars. Everyone here? Oh, yes. Thank you.
Yes, thank you. You asked for a raise hand again. Yeah, okay. So today we're going to talk about conelingus.
This is a great topic. We can talk about conelingus forever. We sure can. I have like 8,000 pages of notes.
You always do that. You print like tons of notes. I highlight it. If you think there is one main way to eat a pussy, that's probably why you suck at it.
Let's just go from there, Kathy. Well, a lot of people think that there's, and I've known this with blowjobs too, but a lot of people think that I'm going to use this one trick that maybe worked on one person or I saw it in a porn, which by the way, porn pussy licking is the most inaccurate lame, not right way to like a pussy because they're doing it for the camera. If you cover the vagina with your mouth and put suction on it like that, that's not going to show up on film. So they always have their tongue out and they're always like doing it.
Did you just lick your mic, Mom? I did. That was 71 episodes of fucking hook and breath right there. That didn't taste good.
It's time to change the blows who knows. So agree, disagree. Totally agree. Talk about what your version of eating pussy is, Kathy.
I am an aficionado of that. Yes, I like both getting and giving. And so, and I have very strong views about this subject because you're absolutely right. There is no one way to do it.
You must 100% communicate with your partner. It is tough. It is tough for the woman to tell you what to do, what not to do. And it's tough sometimes for the man to ask for it and to even take that kind of advice.
But I'm going to tell you right now from my experience, you are never going to enjoy doing it and the person is never going to be getting any pleasure out of it unless you talk. And talk often. At the beginning, it's not always going to be perfect, lovely, fairy tale. You have to just, just like in kink, you have to get to know your partner.
And sometimes in the beginning, that's just a lot of... It's trying to go and err. And even boring talking about it and saying don't do this, don't do that. And if you're going to get but hurt every time, you have to be okay hearing, nope, that doesn't work 50 times in a row before you can find the right thing.
I wish it weren't like that. It makes it sound like a lot of work. It ain't not 50. I've experienced minimality.
Well, you, but you're just so good at it. Well, no. I mean, there are certain general techniques that do span to a number of different vaginas. But they aren't absolutes.
When you talk about communication, I want to go to the next level beyond that because I've told, I don't want to say hundreds, but maybe hundreds. I've told a lot of women, hey, you know what, communicate with me, let me know what works. It is okay for you to do that. And there is still a great fear because some guys are like, they don't mean, tell me what I'm doing wrong.
They mean, tell me I'm doing it perfect, but I'm just acting cool like I want your opinion. And then it turns into an abusive fucking angry situation, which is much less sexy. So it's not just communicating. It's creating an environment of trust where your partner can then feel like I'm not lying when I tell you, I want to know what you like.
We can still do it in a sexy way. It doesn't have to be fucking clinical like to the left, right? If you do any type of sex like that, you can go fuck yourself. You can say, oh, I like it a little harder.
Oh, a little bit lighter. Oh, I'm very sensitive. That feels really good. I'm very sure to affirm when something is good so that way the person that's down there is taking that data and I'm always taking data in when I'm down on a woman.
I'm always watching their body language and what they're doing and seeing, have they leveled off, have they gotten aroused and then all of a sudden you see their body language kind of go off. You're so good at it that you coined a term. What? The vagison.
vagison, yes. No, I wouldn't say I'm good at it. I would say I'll say I'm just as good as anyone else that has intention to do it right. And it doesn't always work out.
No. And there's been plenty of times I've eaten pussy and okay, well, here's a Hitachi. I'll do something else. Yeah.
Sometimes I feel for anybody going down on a woman if they have issues because the truth is that a lot of women out there are so fucked in the head when it comes to their vaginas. There's a lot of shame about it. And I'll go out on a limb and say especially older women, I think younger women have like the sex explanations and all these great YouTube videos that make you realize there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. But people I think from my generation had to endure the Catholic shame.
Yes, literally the Catholic shame that the commercials for douches where they tell you're supposed to smell like a meadow or a lovely summer day. Or a cucumber salad vinegar vinegar. Or you've never had a cucumber salad? Fucking put the cucumbers in fucking thirties.
Yeah. Look, Sarah knows what I'm talking about. Yeah. Yeah.
Not necessarily the scent I want out of a China, but it's good cucumbers out. Oh my God. Okay. So create an environment.
And you guys have want to pipe in. Sarah, you fucking get up there and tell us what you like. No. Just tell us what type.
Why don't you do that. Let's talk about that. Everyone that's willing get up and say how do you in general do you like just direct like because there's different times. There's like some people like the whole vagina work.
They don't want to just go straight for the clit and try to rock an orgasm. Some people like. Yeah. I'm not sure if you're a clit girl, but I want.
You got to work up to that. You really make it happen. But as far as even the communication thing, I think for me, once that trust is there and all that, I mean, I know I use a lot of body language like, you know, especially like you said, like to let somebody know they're doing things right, like I'll fucking grab your head. Like if you're in the right spot, I'm keeping you there.