Singular and Collective

People are dynamic. But deeper, people are a collection of cells, of bacteria, of memories, of the genetics of their forebears. We are singular and we are collective. Together we make couples and families and neighborhoods. We are part of counties, states, nations and a planet. All of these collections of people are entities themselves. They have collective voices and desires, trajectories and destinies.As such, I say that these entities are organisms that need feeding and care. We neglect them at our peril. We can neglect the organisms by seeing ourselves as mere individuals, by not realizing that by feeding the entities of which we are a part, we nourish ourselves and each other in the process.So it's with that in mind, we see the effects we have on each other when we perceive the other by their limitations, or conversely, by their essence. When we bring a critical stance to those with whom we share affiliation, we can make it feel unsafe to continue forging a bond and co-creating the entity of a couple, a family, a business, a team. We can poison the well.Conversely, by believing in each other, we can assist those we care about in their metamorphosis and self-discovery. Our love and support can and does create seismic shifts in those we know, those who we take the time to affect for good. Those in whom we believe.It's under these circumstances that we can join together and create art and music, safety, and bonding. We can look back on key figures in our lives that, through their patience, tutelage, care and respect, helped us chart the far reaches of our undiscovered inner selves. These people helped us believe in ourselves, showed us who and what we are.That self-discovery is priceless. We can work alone in the peace and quiet of our inner sanctuaries, but we also discover ourselves through relation to others. Through that admixture with those who inspire us, who teach us, who demonstrate characteristics we wish to embody.We may look back and wonder who we would have been had they never come along. How would we find our way? How would our home-fires be burning if not for the painstaking work and patience of those who saw us when we were extinguished and offered us a light?We don't have to dwell there very long to feel immense gratitude. I look back and realize that I am who and what I am for my interactions with my heroes and friends and lovers and family. We only get the opportunity to shape others in this way when we fully humanize them. When we see them as dynamic and capable of becoming and fully embodying themselves.We may struggle to do this if we can't or don't see ourselves as worthy and capable of change and growth or love. We may look around and ask who believes or believed in us when we needed it and how that propelled us to grow and change in the past. Hopefully we can fully accept the belief of those who see beyond our faults. We have to let it sink in.And if we have been guilty of judging, blaming and criticizing those we care about, we must make amends. Especially when we discover that we truly do see their essence and that we adore that essence. The judging behavior can be a trauma response and a learned behavior. But we can replace this with acceptance. And our belief in them can assist their belief in self.We can also discover our grace, our reverence, and our patience. We can focus more on becoming than controlling and getting. And when we bring these discoveries to our relationships we potentiate the growth of all involved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit greenmang.substack.com/subscribe