Six Weeks Of Panic: Chasing Purpose While Battling An Anxious Firestorm

Six weeks into my new job and it’s been one long stretch of anxiety. I’m recording this on the Hume Highway, driving between Newcastle and Wodonga, finally explaining why I’ve gone quiet. I’ve thrown myself into learning truckin’ properly—Road Ranger gearboxes, reversing semi trailers, using the dogs annd chains. And the pressure? Relentless.This episode dives into what it’s like starting from zero while your head is working against you. Perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and an inner critic that turns small corrections into “proof” you’re failing. I break down the two anxiety streams driving it all—performance anxiety, and the fear of not belonging.Underneath it all is my meaning and purpose. This isn’t just a job, it’s tied to Resilient Roadways and something bigger. My vision. And it’s that meaning and purpose that keeps me going. But, it also raises the stakes. If I can pull this off? My legacy is assured. But if I fail, my very existence could be on the line once again. --Follow The Dysregulated Podcast: Instagram – @elliot.t.waters Facebook – The Dysregulated Podcast YouTube – The Dysregulated Podcast (Official Channel)Created by Elliot Waters — Inspired by lived experience. Mental health insights, real stories, real conversations.