Softness in the Chaos: Ash on Healing, Identity, and Growing Through the In-Between

In this heartfelt episode of The Getting Older Podcast, host Ivory Fennell welcomes Ash — artist, storyteller, community gardener, and self-proclaimed “Jackie of all trades” — for a powerful conversation about what it means to live authentically while still figuring it all out.Ash’s journey is anything but linear. Growing up in Plainfield, New Jersey, she navigated multiple worlds — the cheerleader, the theater kid, the performer, the caregiver — and now, years later, she’s reflecting on what those early roles taught her about masking, validation, and identity. As Ivory and Ash laugh through old memories and dig into the uncomfortable truths of becoming, they invite us to sit with our own transformations.Ash opens up about what it’s like to peel back years of people-pleasing and perfectionism to reconnect with her truth. From being the go-to caretaker for her grandparents to moving through spiritual uncertainty and creative burnout, she shares candidly about what healing really looks like when no one’s watching. She’s no longer interested in being the “strong one” or having it all together — she’s learning to rest, to feel, and to let softness lead.Topics covered in this episode include:Ash’s “Today I Feel” emotional practice and the power of checking in with yourselfHow growing up in Black and white spaces shaped her sense of identityLetting go of control and learning to sit in stillnessMoving from atheism to a personal relationship with GodReclaiming creativity as a form of healing, not perfectionThe sacredness of celibacy, boundaries, and being aloneUnderstanding success outside of hustle culture and timelinesCommunity gardening as a metaphor for life, death, and rebirthAsh’s story is a reminder that healing is not a straight line. It’s messy. It’s full of restarts and redefinitions. It’s about accepting who you’ve been while choosing who you want to be — over and over again. Whether she’s talking about dating, God, emotional boundaries, or learning how to ask for help, Ash offers us a blueprint for growth that’s honest, compassionate, and deeply human.If you’ve ever felt like you’re “too much,” like you’re behind, or like you have to prove yourself to be worthy of love and rest, this episode is for you. Ash’s presence reminds us that we don’t have to be fully healed to be whole. We just have to be honest.Follow Ash:Instagram: @just.a.girl.going.through.itMusic: A Bunch of Everything With Little to Nothing LeftTikTok & YouTube: Just a Girl Going Through ItFollow the show:Instagram: @GettingOlderPodYouTube: Getting Older PodcastListen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio & more.Like what you heard? Rate, review, and share — it means everything. Because growing up is real. And getting older? That’s where the beauty lives.