Somewhat of a reboot

Thank you for indulging me these last few weeks.I know I've gotten a little bit off the track of what this project was originally supposed to be about; I've made it too much about myself.I guess you could say I went through a bit of a funk, but I feel like I'm back to normal now—well, as normal as I could be—and I'm happy to say that there are three really interesting guests lined up, so you won't have to endure any solo episodes for a while.In order to un-muddy these waters, I've decided to write a book to help me channel all that "personal writing" somewhere else.I know I said I was writing a book already, a few months ago, about “Aikido as Theurgy,” but I can't really write those kinds of books. I can't academically compare “Aikido and Theurgy.”It made for some fascinating research, but it was kinda based on a “marketing idea” I had. I was really into Neoplatonism and I wanted to somehow link the two worlds together—like get Aikido people interested in Neoplatonism and get Neoplatonists into Aikido—but I don't know how to do that. I went on some podcasts that I thought might be interested in hearing about Aikido from the theurgical perspective, but it just didn't work.I think Aikido is theurgical. I believe O Sensei was genuinely communicating with the divine. But I simply can't write academically. Even if I have “sources,” I always feel like I'm assembling a collage of other people’s writing.I like reading academic works, but I dropped out of community college for a reason, you know?From now on, "Ki to the City" is going to have much less of my own background noise—who I thought I was before I started Aikido, etc.All that personal rigmarole will be channeled into the aforementioned book I decided I was going to write just now when I went for a nice, long walk, because it's obviously still there bubbling on the surface, and I can't just ignore or suppress it.Whenever I sit down to write, there's an aspect of my persona that kind of jumps out—clamoring to be discussed.I don't mean like I have multiple personality disorder; I'm just me. But whenever it comes time to think about what "occupation" I want to have in the world—like how I want to fit into society, what "role" I want to play—I've never been able to decide on one.I get claustrophobic thinking I have to perform one action for the rest of my life. The only thing I've ever stuck to is Aikido because it's fun, because when I go to the dojo I can participate in this living, four-dimensional Tetris action figure practice and I feel better after—and I'm cultivating my life force. I'm growing my soul; I'm adding, not subtracting. Even though I'm spending a lot of energy, I'm also receiving energy. It's hard to explain, but if you practice Aikido, I'm pretty sure you already know what I mean.Before I discovered Aikido, I had this idea of the role I was supposed to play in the bazaar theatre that is modern human society. I had the persona that I was putting up for sale, and that, unfortunately, could best be described as a subtly suicidal, sad, psychedelic, celebrity shaman poet clown with a picaresque rascal tinge.Now I know I’d rather be like a mystic martial arts philosopher type (I really wish I had an Alan Watts accent; people would take me more seriously), so I want to focus on that, but I have to acknowledge… not my shadow… I don't wanna call it “my shadow” (I’m not a Jungian) because, you know, it's its own thing; it’s not a shadow of something else… but, whatever it is, I have to acknowledge it – so I'm going to channel writing about it into that book I was talking about. I'll be putting that out in a couple months, I guess. So, if you wanna know more about me, then you could just read my book. I won’t trouble you about it here anymore.Substack is a strange medium. You can't write too deeply – you only got five minutes. I only expect you to pay attention for like five minutes. I know you have a lot going on yourself – it's going to your email, and that's annoying. Also, there are new subscribers sometimes, so I never know how to keep them updated on what I’ve written before.Now, you can expect this podcast/Substack project to be much more cleanly delineated: more about Aikido, less about me. I can dispense with all of the other stuff I was trying to shoehorn in. That'll all be in the book.I’m sincerely excited about the next few episodes. They’re going to be very insightful and indicative of what I genuinely want to focus on going forward: how Aikido really can make the world a better place.The world, right now, according to the "news cycle," is completely insane. I'm talking about s**t like "nuclear reactors on the moon." (That story got kind of hidden; no one really talked about it, but it's a real story.) They're talking about putting nuclear reactors on the moon. That's insane. That's crazy—not to mention all the other s**t that's going on (techno-feudalism)—but anyway…I'm sure we can make a dent somehow. There's gotta be a way to conjure up some authentic harmony—not forced, not hypnotic harmony—not people just being turned into cybernetic drones to dully do what they're being told.A genuine harmony.For me—for my little part—I really believe in Aikido. It's the only thing that puts me in a more harmonious mood. And if it could put me in a more harmonious mood, then I think it's worth celebrating and doing my utmost to promote however I can.Peace. Get full access to Ki to the City at kitothecity.substack.com/subscribe