Sonder

Sonder: the word I want written on my arm in tiny script so that it reminds me. Sonder is the awareness that every stranger you encounter has a life as vivid and complex as your own.A man on the street, naked; I saw him from my Uber as I drove uptown. At first I thought he was wearing a suit, the uniform colour of his skin gave an impression of organised outfit, it made him stand out amongst the crowds walking by, some hurrying, some on their phones, none stopping, all navigating around him as if he wasn’t there. I imagined him realising - I’m invisible! and throwing a leaping pirouette. But he wasn’t dancing. He was staring down at objects loosely scattered at his feet, he was pointing and counting and reversing as if they encroached like a tide across the sidewalk, pushing him backwards to the road.A man as I walked up 5th, a street corner for a board meeting, heads of department invisible to me but not to him. A finance discussion, a fine-tuned explanation of investment and stock prices and where to put the money. Perhaps all faces were turned to him as he paced eloquently, one arm illustrating the need to follow closely his thinking. Perhaps the company he kept were all listening intently.An argument in Midtown. Another street corner, another man but his morning was a face saddened with unacceptable effort that his rational point of view was leading nowhere. He persuaded with both arms. His opponent appeared in my mind to be larger than him, a giant or maybe it was God or maybe it was his parent. He was so eloquent in his efforts. I wondered how long he’d been trying to make them see.And in Boston before I left while stationary at lights on the way to South Station, a figure dressed in black; black exercise pants tight to the ankle under loose trousers rolled up at the knee, black raincoat, the hood up, black trainers and he stood with is back to us facing down the wide dead end of an alleyway, pigeons at his feet. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit eleanoranstruther.substack.com/subscribe