SOTM 16—Divorce

For additional notes and resources check out Douglas’ website.“It was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Matthew 5:31-32).The Jewish worldThere were grounds for divorce besides adultery, including failure to provide food and clothing for one’s spouse and failure to offer conjugal love. The ancient rabbis understood this to be the case because of Exodus 21:10-11 and other passages.Legitimate grounds for divorce did not, however, necessarily mean one should divorce his or her spouse.A divorced person was expected to remarry—under strong social pressure.In the 1st century there were two schools of thought about divorce:Shammai—a matter of indecency (Deut 24)Hillel—“any cause”—the kind of divorce Joseph was intending to offer Mary (Matt 1:19).“Any cause” divorce was by far the norm in the 1st century.When the Pharisees ask Jesus about divorce in Matt 19:3-9, they want to know which side of the debate he is on: just cause or “any cause.”He is certainly not on Hillel’s side!God’s intention is for marriage to last a lifetime.However, Matt 19:9 has been misunderstood. “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” doesn’t mean that we cannot dissolve a marriage through divorce, but that we ought not. Divorce is a last resort, but necessary in some cases.Exod 21:10-11If he takes to himself another woman, he may not reduce her food, her clothing, or her conjugal rights. If he will not do these three things for her, then she shall go out for nothing, without payment of money.This passage describes the rights of a slave wife: food, clothing, sexual love—that is, material support as well as emotional support.If her husband reneges, she may be released from the marriage. The rabbis correctly saw that if a slave had such rights, so did a free woman, who implicitly expected his faithfulness as a husband.If any of these four rights is neglected, there are grounds for legitimate divorce. The grounds are withdrawal of physical support (food or clothing), withdrawal of emotional support (manifest in sexual engagement), and (implicitly) adultery. This does not mean there should be a divorce, only that if the innocent party initiates proceedings, she may be legally divorce.Marriage has historically been understood as contractual. (Contract is the same word as covenant.) To fail to feed, clothe, and love constitute unfaithfulness to one’s marriage vows. And neglected marriage vows justify (though do not require) divorce.Divorce for broken marriage vows (once the infidelity was proven in court) was still practiced up to 70 AD. However, by Jesus’ day no-fault divorce (“any cause”) was predominant.Deut 22:13-18 implies that in O.T. times groundless divorce was not permitted, or else it resulted in severe financial penalty.The Roman worldLike Jewish marriage contracts, pagan contracts also included vows to provide physically and sexually for one’s spouse.Separation = divorce. (This is the culture into which Paul is speaking in 1 Cor 7.)Divorcees, widows, and widowers were required to remarry by law.All togetherMost Jews practiced easy, “any-cause” divorce. The divorce certificate allowed one to remarry.The pagans simply walked out on their spouses. This was tantamount to divorce.Podcasts to come – by March 2020.Matt 5:31-32For the Jews, this would be shocking. Any-cause divorce was standard.In the broader Roman world separation was Thus Jesus’ words would have been shocking to Gentiles, too.Readers unfamiliar with the 1st-century context could easily misunderstand Jesus—but then that is the case with many of Jesus’ teachings.Note: Paul accepted neglect (abandonment) as grounds for divorce and remarriage. He refers also to withholding of conjugal love. The promises of the marriage vow are in the background of everything he writes.Remarriage when still married to your original spouse is adultery—a repudiation of one’s marital vows.Of course if one is unlawfully divorced and remarried, he has provided grounds for divorce to his (former) spouse. (The NT does not teach that one must return to one’s first spouse.)No 1st century Jewish group prohibited remarriage after divorce. In the Roman world, remarriage was mandatory after 18 months; not to remarry was to break the law. Thus it would be quite strange if Jesus and Paul taught against remarriage.Learning from historyThe original debate between the Shammaites and the Hillelites was quickly forgotten after the Jewish War (ending in 70 AD).Many church fathers were unnecessarily harsh in a number of biblical areas, and divorce is one of those.As strange as this may sound, in some ways we are better positioned than the 2nd century church fathers to understand what Jesus and Paul meant, since we have access to multiple sources to which they were not privy:Dead Sea Scrolls fragments on divorceNewly discovered Jewish divorce certificates from the 1st and 2nd centuriesOver 200 Aramaic, Greek, and Latin marriage and divorce papyriRabbinic evidence datable to the 2nd centuryDivorce documents from the Geniza of the Cairo SynagogueThese documents have all been discovered in the last 150 years.ConclusionKeep your marital vows!Without grounds, a second marriage is adultery. (Both the OT and the NT allow four grounds for divorce: desertion, adultery, failure to provide/protect, refusing conjugal love.)Divorce should be the last resort.Note: “We cannot appreciate fully the social implications of Joseph’s decision to take Mary as his wife in an honor/shame world. In a difficult social circumstance, Joseph moves beyond even the teaching of Jesus in Matthew 19 to pursue the way of mercy. We might summarize the story of Joseph using the formula of Matthew 5:21-48 this way: “You have heard it said that you may write Mary a certificate of divorce, but I say to you do not be afraid to take her as your wife.” – Mark Love of Rochester University (Leaven 176)Fidelity is far more than not having sex with someone who is not your spouse. We are called to be faithful to our marriage vows. That includes much more than merely avoiding adultery.Jesus taught selfless, sacrificial love in the marriage (Eph 5:21-33).Further: If you want to grappled with the issues for a better understanding of the background situation of the 1st-century Roman world, take a look at David Instone-Brewer's work.Or listen to my series on Divorce & Remarriage.