Spandau Ballet's TRUE stories of war and world domination, plus the joy of traditional dancing (if you can), pop invasions, machine guns and barbed wire, smoking too much Kemp, said or told or known?

The year was 1983, a whole revolution around the sun from last episode's subject and I was enjoying Return of the Jedi in the cinema (despite the Ewoks) and the onset of puberty (no enjoyment there). Dave was already lamenting his youth (from a previous life), like the Dave from 2001 A Space Odyssey, Dave was already becoming the timeless star-child with a soul as old and cold and wise as time itself. Meanwhile, Spandau Ballet landed a song (and album of the same name), TRUE, which was either the worst thing ever or completely perfect ... depending on what paper you read. What did it say about the history and future of the British empire? And biological weapons. And importantly, fadoobadahs! Why do 80s pop groups harass old people in the street to do their own work? Is SMOOOTH pop music a tool of the ultra-right wing lizard people? MARVS or MERVS? Which country queues the best? Real power cannot be given, it must be taken. Sharp suits and frilly pirate outfits. Were they outflanked by Duran Duran? Lessons from Ukraine and Trump's USA. The subtlety, or not, of code. Other Brit invasions and the Grunge-defense. Keeping time but forgetting line. The fight between the pop world and the folk dancing world for what is true and real. Scottish reals or reels. What does Nabokov say about the seaside? Unlimited fascist world dancing! Internet theories about drugs and mental health. The sound of the soul and the vibe and alien hackers. Soul-sound deals! Misheard lyrics and dubious Spanish. Would you like to appear (well, vocally) on the show? Do you have a pop song or ear-worm from the SMOOTH FM genre that’s infested your mind and needs to be investigated? Visit this page https://speakpipe.com/lyrics to record us your own voicemail hot-take on your specific smooth song of suckiness. You could be on a future episode! (you can always email sound files or text your thoughts to [email protected] if that's easier). Cheers! Find us on Twitter, Facebook and all your favourite podcasting platforms. Sound clips are included for educational reference, criticism, satire and parody in fair use. Clips remain the property of the respective rights holder and no endorsement is implied. All information and opinion is performed and expressed in-character and does not reflect reality or genuine commentary on any persons (living or dead), bands or other organisations, or their works, and is not recommended listening for anyone, anywhere.