Special Guest: Carla See on Executive Function, ADHD, and the Parent Who's Been the Reminder System Too Long

Why Your ADHD Teen Can't Start Homework (It's Not What You Think)About This EpisodeIf you've ever watched your teen sit in front of an open assignment and do absolutely nothing — and felt yourself cycling through frustration, guilt, and confusion — this episode is for you. Because what looks like avoidance, defiance, or not caring is very often something else entirely: a skill gap. And skill gaps can be taught. That's a fundamentally different conversation than the one most families are having at 7pm over a backpack full of missing assignments.Carla See is an executive function coach for teens ages 12 and up, and a former special education educator with more than two decades in the field. What makes her work different isn't just the experience — it's that she's lived this from the inside. Her daughter was diagnosed with ADHD with anxiety, and Carla found herself sitting at that same homework table, watching the same tension build, asking herself the same questions she'd heard from parents for years. That experience changed everything about how she does this work.In this episode, Jenn shares her own family's journey through ADHD and autism diagnoses — and the strange combination of grief and relief that came with finally having language for decades of struggles she'd quietly blamed herself for. Together, Jenn and Carla talk about what executive function actually is, why capable teens get stuck, what parents do that unintentionally makes it worse, and what a different approach looks like — one that builds real skills while protecting the parent-child relationship.What You'll HearWhy a teen who "understands the material" can still be completely unable to start — and what's actually happening in their brain when they freezeThe difference between a skill gap and a choice not to try (and why it matters more than you think)How becoming your teen's reminder system quietly damages your relationship — and what to step into insteadWhy Carla asks parents to stop asking about homework during her program, and the "living document" that makes stepping back feel safe instead of scaryThe one-phrase technique — say it before your teen even starts a task — that builds momentum where reminders never couldWhat resilience actually looks like for exhausted families (hint: it's not positivity, it's persistence)The small, early signs that coaching is working — before grades change, before everything feels fixedWhat Jenn's own recognition moment felt like, and why so many midlife women are carrying silent self-blame that finally has a nameKey Takeaway"Homework will pass. Assignments will pass. Grades will pass. But what you really want to nourish and take care of is the relationship you have with your son or with your daughter."— Carla SeeTimestamps00:00 — When Diagnosis Mirrors You01:10 — Jenn's Family Wake Up02:02 — Meet Carla See03:37 — From Educator to Mom05:44 — Why Go Solo Online08:37 — The Homework Table Click10:47 — Executive Function Explained13:47 — Skill Gap or Defiance15:07 — Grief, Relief, Recognition17:58 — Stop Policing Homework20:29 — When Parents Over-Function22:27 — Stepping Back With Structure24:45 — Why She Says "Class"26:27 — Building Teen Trust27:14 — Praise Effort Fast28:59 — Trust Fuels Learning29:20 — Resilience With Compassion32:01 — Personal Resilience Story35:30 — You Are Not Failing36:54 — When to Get Help37:58 — Signs Support Works39:39 — Adult Self Discovery42:34 — What Families Keep44:34 — Small Moments Matter47:24 — Closing ResourcesConnect with Carla SeeWebsite — ADHD Teen Executive Function CoachLinktree — coaching program, resources, and all linksConnect with Jenn FastIf anything in this episode made you wonder about your own executive function, Jenn has a free self-assessment for adults — a gentle starting place for naming what you've been living with:→ Free Adult EF Self-AssessmentJenn is also writing a book called Executive Function Unlocked, with a course to accompany it. Join the waitlist to hear about it first:→ Executive Function Unlocked WaitlistInstagram: @itsjennfastEmail: [email protected] this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, share it with a parent who needs to hear it, and consider leaving a five-star review — it helps more families find the show. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit comebackletter.substack.com