Special Guest Jack Shitama: Leading With Courage

Jack Shitama brings clarity and wisdom to family systems theory in this transformative conversation about leadership, anxiety, and healthy church relationships. Drawing from decades of experience as a pastor, author, and coach, Jack breaks down complex concepts into accessible insights that can revolutionize how ministry leaders approach challenging situations.The conversation begins with Jack sharing his personal journey into family systems thinking. His encounter with Edwin Friedman's work "Generation to Generation" opened his eyes to seeing congregational dynamics through a different lens—one that helped him stop taking things personally and instead view difficult behaviors as expressions of anxiety rather than personal attacks.At the heart of the discussion is the concept of differentiation—knowing where you end and others begin, or as Jack puts it, "being a self and allowing others to be the same." This crucial leadership capacity creates healthy emotional space that enables others to mature.Well talk about: - people-pleasing pastors who tend toward adaptivity (giving in without standing up for themselves) rather than traditional reactivity (becoming defensive or aggressive). -  Navigating criticism, recognizing sabotage, and responding as a non-anxious presenceResourcesFriedman, Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue — https://www.amazon.com/dp/0896213417 Amazon“Genogram” overview — https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-genogram-5186652 EdrawMaxJack Shitama (Author)Anxious Church, Anxious People — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1732009317 AmazonIf You Met My Family, You’d Understand — https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60376266-if-you-met-my-family-you-d-understand AmazonEveryone Loves a Non-Anxious Presence — https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/56761973-everyone-loves-a-non-anxious-presence AmazonThe Non-Anxious Leader (Website) (Podcast)Lencioni, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team — https://www.amazon.com/dp/0787960756Boszormenyi-Nagy & Spark, Invisible Loyalties — https://www.amazon.com/dp/0876681765Support the showPlease connect with us at our Website, Facebook, LinkedIn, and YouTube. If you'd like to support the work of Flourish Coaching you can click here to make a donation.Connect with Jeremy to discuss podcasting.