Hi, this is Makayla with Honest Talk Radio. Honest Talk Radio is a space where we will be sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly in real, raw conversations to try and do our part to reduce the amount of shame, guilt, and judgment so many of us women face. Our hope is that through these conversations, you will feel supported and encouraged in every aspect of your life. So let's get started.
Welcome to this week's episode of Honest Talk Radio. I'm your host Makayla, and we will be kicking off the week talking to women who have created a light helping others. Everyone has a journey that's led them to where they are now. We all find our passion at different times in our lives, and today I'll be talking with Christine works.
Christine is a change-maven, transformational coach and motivational speaker. Christine, welcome to the show. I'm so glad that you've joined me today, and I really look forward to your story. Well, thank you for having me.
Awesome. So as we get started, when someone asks you, what do you do? How would you answer that? I say I help women get from good to great.
I love that. That's primarily what I do. I noticed that in your biography, you talk about being a change-maven. Can you elaborate on what that means?
I love that. I love the work. Thank you. But for our listeners, can you give us a little insight into what that means?
For sure. So it came to me probably about 10 years ago. So I've been sitting with this for about 10 years in my heart before I actually did anything with it. And you know, a maven, they say, is somebody who is an expert in something.
Somebody who is very focused on that one area. And I'm definitely very familiar with change. I've gone through many metamorphoses in my own life. Lots of changes in my own life.
And I'm also a very good mirror and conduit for people to take themselves through change and to understand the process of change. So literally I was sitting on my back porch one day and I thought to myself, I'm the change-maven. And I didn't know quite what it meant then, but it totally makes sense to me now. So that's what the change-maven is.
That's awesome. Here at Honest Talk, we are all about taking women through transitions. Transitions in and out of the different roles that we play, which make up who we are but don't define who we are. So we're talking about trying to take on change, like you talk about, by embracing it but not losing sight of who we are as a person, as an individual.
So I just love that idea. And what a neat way to just find yourself. What was the first step that you took out to live out this life of being a change-maven in a transformational coach? So I would say the first step I took was this year I turned 50.
And for my 50th birthday, I gave myself the gift of B-School. So I don't know if you're familiar with B-School, but Marie Forleo, she's an online business entrepreneur and really helps people use their own gifts and build their own businesses. And I have been following Marie Forleo for about 10 years. You see there?
Yeah. For seven years I wanted to take B-School and every year I told myself, it's not the right year. I'm too busy. My kids are too young or too involved or there's too much stress or whatever.
And so this year I just decided, you know what, if I don't do it now, when am I going to do it? And I have gifts I want to share with the world. And so this is my way of doing it. So this has really been a hallmark year for me.
That's amazing and a happy 50th year. Thank you. Awesome. You know, what I'm hearing in your story is that there's no better time than the present.
We can take years upon years upon years. And sometimes it's because we weren't ready for it. We weren't ready for that change 10 years ago. I think that happened in our life to get us to the point where we say yes to ourselves.
So what was it that got you besides turning 50? Can you give us an insight into some of the events leading up into saying yes to yourself? Well I'm going to take you back a little bit because when I first did that, especially in terms of being a mother and sort of balancing that out, was when I was 32 is when I decided I would finally go to university. And so I had spent the years before traveling and working all around the world and being a bit of a gypsy and a bit of a vagabond.
And then I had a one year old and a two year old at 32 and I decided that was my perfect time to go to university. So of course most people said I was crazy, but I did it and I took seven years to get my university degree. I did slow and steady until my daughter started school. So it just kind of really worked everything out that way.
And so that was my first really big hallmark experience of putting myself first that way and making it work within the context of my life. And so I feel like my 50th year in deciding to launch this with the change maven. I feel like it was another one of those hallmark moments where it was, and I don't mean hallmark as in the hallmark movies. Right.
Give it a moment in my life where I just said, like really, if not now, when it was just one of those things, one of those dreams and ideas that has stayed with me for over a decade. And it clearly wasn't just a flash in the pan or a win. I decided it was, I just had to stop playing small. Oh my gosh, I love that.
Yes. And I love that you decided to go back to school when you had babies. I mean, so many times we can use life circumstances as excuses. And really, would you agree that when you do that, it's really because of fear.
Fear of the unknown. That's right. Absolutely. It's absolutely because of fear.
And the reality is life happens. Life continues to happen. So in 32, I could have not gone to school and I still would have, you know, got willing to turn 33, 34, 35, and that time would have passed regardless. You know, I think about Stephen Covey and he has that, the sort of the lesson of the big rocks and the little rocks in the sand.
Yes. I know exactly what you're talking about. So when I had more to do, I found the time to do it. Yeah.
And it's like right now I'm working full time and I have two children and I have spouse and I have four pets and I just finished doing a program and I'm launching a business. And it's not that it's not busy, but you find the time and you just choose which rocks are the big rocks, which rocks are the priority that you put in first. And we can do it. I mean, I also had a very supportive partner.
That makes a big difference. It does make a big difference, but he was also working three part time jobs when I started university. Yeah. So it was crazy town in our house.
Right. But we made it, we made it work because we made the decision to put our focus on certain priorities first. You know, I didn't watch television for a long time. Right.
Right. You know, they say that if you have five minutes to do something, you will do it in five minutes. If you're giving in five hours to do that, same thing. It will take you five hours.
My husband laughs at me because when I'm getting ready in the morning, if I need to be up and out the door, I can get ready in 15 minutes. Yeah. If I don't have to be, I'm going to spend the time, extra time doing my hair. I'm going to drink my cup.
I'm going to sip on my cup of coffee. And then the next thing I know I am rushing out the door because I've taken the full time. Yes. So yeah, you know, I love that you talk about time that way because many times time is what we would consider the issue that, you know, the reason why you can't follow your dream, about your passion or your purpose.
There's just not enough time in the day, right? But yet your example and your story show that you can make it work and there is time. It depends on how you prioritize it. That's right.
That's absolutely right. It is on how you prioritize it. And it doesn't mean everything was all I was keeping up on everything. I mean, was I keeping a perfectly clean house?
No. Was I cooking fancy meals all the time? No. Right.
But you decide what's going to give. Yeah. So that brings me to my next question. What would you say that pursuing these hallmark moments, I guess you were saying in your life have impacted your family?
You know, I feel like in a lot of ways they've actually been a gift for my family because, as I said, my kids were one and two. They're now 19 and 20. And they still talk about seeing me studying and, you know, knowing that a couple times when they had a day off of school, I had to bring them to university with me. And they had the coloring books and their snacks and I'd have them sit quietly.
And, you know, they talk about this and they talk about, you know, I had a big sign up by my desk for those seven years and it said, keep your eye on the prize. And that was my reminder to myself, keep your eye on the prize, keep your eye on the prize. And they quote that, you know. So they, I feel like they see that when you really want to do something and you stick to it and you take your time with it, that you can accomplish things.
And also that, you know, I'm a big believer in slow and steady wins the race. I, you know, they're at an age now where neither of my kids are in post-secondary at the moment, but they're totally figuring things out. And I say to them, you know, as long as you're moving forward, you're figuring it out. It doesn't have to be on other people's timelines.
It doesn't mean you're not successful or going to be successful. It means you're doing things in your own way in your own time, as long as you're moving forward. That's my only caveat, just keep moving forward as you figure it out. So, you know, and as I said, I also have a really supportive partner.
That's made a really, really big difference. I mean, he's always respected the space that I need and want to develop me and to take myself away for a couple days on a little getaway or things like that. My family has always seen me do that. And I feel like they're the better for it.
Yeah. Oh my goodness. I, what a, what a gift that you have given to your family. I think so many of us moms can flip that same idea on its head by saying, if I do this for myself, if I pursue my degree, if I pursue building a business or fill in the blank, that we feel like that we're taking away from our children.
Your story proves quite the opposite. You take away from your children. You have given them the gift of letting them see their mother persevere and work through challenges. And, you know, at the end, have something to show for it.
You have it, you have a degree that you get to show for it and or whatever you're building a business. And that's just so inspiring. And I hope those of you that are listening out there are as inspired as I am by Christine story. But, correct me if I'm wrong, Christine, but I know with your line of business, I think you also agree that those listening out there can do the same thing.
And it doesn't have to look like your story. It can be their own. Absolutely. Absolutely.
And it doesn't for everybody, it doesn't mean giving up a full time job and starting a business. It can mean a myriad of things. Whatever it is that your that makes your heart sing, whatever it is that your gifts are that make you feel amazing and in the flow and however else you want to describe it. And then you can share that and that kind of rubs off on other people around you.
That's when you're doing what you're supposed to be doing. You may work full time at a burger joint or you might be a stay at home mom or receptionist or you might be an academic or an engineer. I don't know whatever it is. That part is not even the main point of it.
The main point is are you sort of connecting with your true self and are you sharing that with the world and what does that look like? Oh my goodness. Yes, connecting with your true self. I know on your website you talk about self awareness.
I am constantly preaching self awareness on honest talk. And self awareness does not translate into selfish. Yes, some people can take it to that extreme. However being self aware, I believe is knowing what is it that makes your heart sing.
Can you describe to me what you mean by self aware and how? How did that look like with you becoming self aware? Well, I mean, I would say that for self awareness, like so many things, it is definitely a process. So it's kind of a couple steps forward, step back, a couple steps forward, step back.
I am a big supporter and big believer in meditation. Plantation and yoga are a huge part of my life. And not just for being on the map, but just for getting in touch with myself. And so I feel like that self awareness, it's recognizing the good, the bad and the ugly.
To be able to call yourself out. Am I allowed to curse on this? It's honest talk radio. So call yourself out on your shit.
And be accountable for that. And that to me is the first part of it. It's like I am so, so, so far from perfect. Yes.
Exactly. That's totally okay. And there's, but to first of all be able to face that and be aware of that. And then to love yourself, regardless, not love yourself when it's better, but love yourself.
Yeah. Period. And know that you're going to make mistakes. You're going to fumble.
You're going to fall. But I think the most important part of that is what do you do to get back up? I'm sure when you were in that seven years of getting your degree and then working and building a business and creating this idea of the change made that there was more times than you could probably count where you questioned yourself, where you felt like you were on the path that you wanted to be on or whatever the case may be. How did you take those moments and tell yourself it's okay?
So giving myself space, that wasn't continues to be my most important strategy I'll say to remain self-aware and to remain mindful in the moment. So when I say give myself space, I'm talking specifically about the mental space. So I know that one of my sort of sabotage behaviors is it's the waste time. And I waste time by kind of when I'm not doing well and I'm not on my best game, I opt out.
So when I opt out, what that looks like is I get on myself only and I play ridiculous games. Yeah. Like my. I'm a lot of us more late to that.
And just as an opt out, just a period like I don't want to think, I don't want to feel, I don't want to deal with whatever's going on. And so that's really been a process for me. And I always kind of chuckle. I say, I'm like, Oh my God, like I'm a professional woman.
I'm an intelligent woman and I'm, you know, candy crush nearly undid me. What is going on? Right. And, but I have to be real about it.
And so when I feel myself opting out and putting myself in sort of this dead zone as I think about it, I, that's when I have to go back to my meditation. I have to go back to my breathing. I have to go back to saying, what am I avoiding? What is going on here?
And this is an ongoing process. This is something that I deal with all of the time and I do things, you know, I put my phone in the other room and I delete the apps and I give myself like a little timer things on my phone and I grow trees on an app and all these kinds of things. And to get myself to a place where, you know, I'm back in balance and I'm in balance and in flow that I feel good. And I don't, I really go by my feelings.
If I feel good, I know I'm on the right track. If I don't feel good, then there's dissonance inside me. There's something that I'm not being true to, you know. Oh my gosh, I love that.
And when you talked about asking yourself, what am I avoiding? I can so relate to the picking up the phone and playing games or finding that dead space. And I think what I hear you say is that it's okay to have a little bit of that, but then you have to create boundaries. You become self aware that you, you're heading down this path of dead space, but then you are saying, okay, this is okay for a moment.
And then now I need to regroup, get, meditate, find that balance and then figure out what it was that I was trying to avoid. But at no time, did I hear you say, I feel guilty for picking up my phone. I feel guilty for taking the time away or just going blank, you know. And I think that's huge for success is letting go of that guilt.
It is and being kind to yourself, right? Be kind to yourself and forgive yourself for the imperfections and the lumps and the bumps, the physical, the metaphorical, whatever, right? Like really be kind to ourselves. You know, when I'm hard on myself, I imagine how would I treat another person?
Exactly. And I know I would treat another person with kindness and compassion. Exactly. So why not do that for ourselves?
That doesn't mean I never have mother guilt. That doesn't mean I have any of those things. But when I do that self-awareness piece is what allows me to come back and say, hey, you know what, I'm okay. I'm not perfect, but I'm okay.
Yeah. And it's a process. Again, it's just such a process, right? Absolutely.
But being kind to yourself and thinking about how you would treat others so much better than you treat yourself sometimes, that's very eye opening for me because we tend to self-sabotage. But then if somebody would actually say that, whatever you're thinking out loud to you, you would be completely shocked. Absolutely. Absolutely.
And that's so true. That is so true because that's just it. Like the things that you say in your head, like I would never say that to another human being. Right.
Right. Everybody say it to myself. Exactly. Yeah, absolutely.
What would you say is your, your number one advice that you give your friends, your clients, your kids, when it comes to finding yourself, becoming self-aware, embracing life's changes. First and foremost, I always say be kind. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to yourself and pay attention.
So when we're talking about finding, you know, finding your passion and discovering what it is that your gifts are and so on, you have to be present, right? But you have to be present. I use this expression or this example with my kids and with other people. When I say, you know, we walk through life and we trip over opportunities and we don't even realize their opportunities because we're not paying attention.
So I say, start by being kind to yourself and pay attention to yourself. What is it that makes your heart sing? And not in terms of professions or anything like that, but in terms of what do you do? You know, do you love working with color?
Do you love working with sound? Do you love writing? Like for me writing and editing, you know, somebody gives me something to read and I'm like, give me the red pen. We can not go for an editor and I love to write and I love to stand up on a stage and speak.
And so I'm like, was there things that I'm good at? Those are things where I feel like everything in the universe aligns for me. So I say, you know, pay attention to those things. Think outside of the box.
I think, how can I do more of this? You know, I have my best friend in the world. She is an amazing gardener. She does a totally different job.
She's in the corporate world. She never put her job to be a full-time gardener. But it brings her so much joy. And so she's out and she tends her garden and she grows these amazing vegetables and then she shares them with us and she makes us food.
You know, and so I look at her as an example. She's not quitting her job and trying to start a business. She doesn't know and trust in that. She doesn't make me work in the corporate world.
But she also has that balance that she's found this thing that just really makes her happy. And then it turns around and makes other people happy around her. That brings me to a point when you were talking about paying attention and being kind to yourself. When you're doing something, like you said, that brings you joy and happiness, that translates to everyone around you.
Because I know for myself, when I'm not in those moments and I'm in those dead zones and I'm stuck and frustrated and beating myself up and hard on myself, that comes out. I end up projecting that same thing that I'm feeling inside to my family and the people I love the most. Whereas, like you said, when you are being kind, paying attention, doing the things that make your heart sing, that also projects. You project happiness.
You project grace. You project kindness. And I think, I don't know about you, but my kids behave better and project kindness back if I'm projecting it out. Absolutely.
I'll tell you about a time if I can. When I was absolutely not my best self and where I wasn't using my gifts and how it impacted my whole family. A number of years ago, I was working, I'm a social worker by profession and I was working in frontline social work. And it was a very, very challenging community I was working in.
There was a lot of things going on. There were some things having some challenges in other ways in my life. I ended up being diagnosed with secondary traumatic stress disorder. I was part, not part of two, but I was involved with a family that something very horrific happened to their three-year-old.
And anyway, that's not really part of my story. But I ended up, first of all, I was working in an environment that was sucking the life out of me. I'm very much an empath and I was just absorbing all this trauma around me and didn't know what to do with it. And so basically, I went to bed.
When we talk about opting out, I went to bed and I stayed in bed for about six months. And so that impacted my family so significantly. My kids were both in elementary school. And so I wasn't parenting.
I wasn't taking care of myself. I wasn't present for my partner. I wasn't present for anything. I was really in a deep depression.
I was just not responding to anything. And the impact of that on myself and on my family was so, so significant. And what brought me to this whole thing of working around change and taking incremental steps of change actually came out of that experience. Because I saw a therapist and people tried to help out and my family was across the country and they talked to me and tried to encourage me and my spouse tried to encourage me and all this kind of thing.
But at one point, my oldest sister said to me, she said, you know, in my office, we're doing this 30-day challenge. So for 30 minutes, every day for 30 days. And she said, I want you to do the challenge with us. And I was like, whatever.
And she said, no, your name is on the chart. She sent me a picture, a big chart in her office with my name on it. And she proceeded to call me every day, saving what you do. And at first, I would literally get out of bed and walk down my hallway and my pajamas and go, yeah, whatever.
That's good enough. And then I started walking outside. And I couldn't wait. I would like look at my watch and be like, okay, 30 minutes done.
I'm back and back. But slowly something shifted in me. So after about a week and a half, I stopped looking at my watch and I would walk a bit more. And then I was like, hmm, I think I want to try.
We're running a little bit. So at this point, I'm like 42 years old. I'd never run in my life. And I was like, honey, I can run.
Because that's just kind of what I do. I'm going to do something. So I'm going to start running. And it was horribly painfully slow.
That's OK. And so I started running. And by the end of those 30 days, I looked forward to my 30 minutes of getting up and moving. And I feel like the combination of having a very specific manageable goal.
For an hour, it wasn't, I didn't have to go anywhere else. And so the specific goal and the accountability, small goal and accountability, she called me every day to see if I did my 30 minutes. So then I knew that she knew. And then I knew that she was going up on this board with people.
I didn't know, but my name was on that board now. People were all keeping track of what everybody was doing. So now I felt another level of accountability. That is, I attribute coming out of my depression to that.
To that experience. And it really is amazing. I went from walking to running a 10k to running a half marathon. And it was amazing.
I stopped having migraines. I got back into my life. I got back into the world. And so yes, the impact when you're not your best self and your true self and not using your gifts can be very, very significant on the people around you.
So I'd much rather be a mom who takes some time for myself and goes away sometimes. And it's like, I'm sorry, I can't do that for you right now because I'm doing this for me. Yes. I think the overall sort of impact and what it actually gives our family is far better than trying to just strip ourselves down to nothing and be everything to everybody else.
Oh my goodness. Yes. And this whole time through your story, I listen to your can't see me, but I'm smiling and nodding and because, you know, I don't have any story exactly the same as yours, but we all have our story. We all have our journey.
We all have the moments that have just felt like they've sucked the life out of us. And it's so inspiring to hear how you came out of that and how your sister was your accountability. And your family was there to embrace you when you came out of that. And you know, you created a different life from that, you know, tragedy or trials can sometimes be the best thing that we go through.
Obviously, the feel like in the moment. No, but what's the other side, right? What's the gift in it? Every time there's a dissonance or a challenge, it's like, what is the gift in this?
What do I have to learn out of this? Why is there dissonance? Right. Great.
Exactly. Yeah. I love it. I love it.
This has been a great, great chat, a great interview. Please share as we wrap up with our audience, our listeners about how they can find you, what you're doing, social media, all of that stuff. Okay. As you said, I'm the change maven.
So my website is the changemaven.com. I do not have a huge social media presence yet. I am on Instagram with change maven and I need to get on that one. You can follow me.
You can subscribe for my newsletter. I write very much the way I speak. So it's real talk like you're on a talk radio. It's a real talk.
If you do subscribe for my newsletter, you can download. I have a wheel of life assessment that people can do for themselves. No strings attached. They can just do that.
I do a lot of public speaking events locally, which if you're in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, where it's already snowing. And I also have online coaching. I do individual coaching. I do group coaching.
And so just keep your eyes out because there'll be more coming from me. Fantastic. Thank you so much for being so open and honest and sharing your story. And as this whole episode is about women that are embracing their lives, embracing who they are.
Like you said, what age, what stage of life? Go out and do it. So thank you. Your story was wonderful.
I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know you and I appreciate your time. We're going to be doing it today. Thank you very much. I appreciate the opportunity as well.
It's been lovely. Thank you for listening to today's show. If you'd like to come on the show and have an honest conversation about connecting, relating, and encouraging women, contact us at hello at honesttalkinternational.com. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast so that you can be in tune with all the great happenings.
Have a great day.