Hi, this is Mikaila with Honest Hot Radio. Honest Hot Radio is a space where we will be sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly in real, raw conversations to try and do our part to reduce the amount of shame, guilt, and judgment so many of us in the case. Our hope is that through these conversations, you will feel supported and encouraged in every last multiple life. So let's get started.
I'm excited for you guys to meet my next guest, Lillie Dagdard, who is the CEO and founder of Operation Sightlines with her twin sister. Lillie is a former military spouse who's had been served for seven years before getting medically discharged. Lillie has found herself being more involved with the military life since her, since her husband's separation and they became a veteran family. Lillie talks about having a business which allows her to create a personal identity outside of being a mom, more specifically outside of being a special need mom and a wife.
Lillie, I'm super excited to chat with you today and welcome to the show. Thanks for having me. Thanks for being here. So I would love to hear more about your story and before we get too deep into it, please take a moment and introduce yourself to our listeners.
So as Michaela said, I'm Lillie. I have been married to my husband for over 13 years. The first seven years was when we were military family. We have three kids, 12, nine and five.
My nine year old and my five year old are both autistic. So that's why Michaela said I'm a special needs mom. I run my business with my twin sister Patricia. Our main business is PsychBiz, but the passion project that Michaela mentioned is Operation Sight Launch.
We first started our business when my husband was overseas in Korea. I was already his second tour in like- I'm sorry Lillie, can you re- keep that, you froze again. Your main business? My main business is PsychBiz and my passion project is Operation Sight Launch.
We first started our business about 10 years ago when my husband was stationed in Korea. It was already his second overseas tour in like three years and we were just realizing that a day job was not going to happen. And so that's why we decided to start an online business. Right now I have my business, my passion project.
I'm also going to school for my second bachelor's degree in graphic design. It's another way of expanding my business so we can offer more branding and those sort of type of services outside of just a website design. Wow, that's awesome. Good for you.
That's a huge accomplishment. I love that you talked about how you started your business 10 years ago because your husband was in the military. You realized that in that season of life, going and working in 9 to 5 or leaving the house for a job was not quite conducive to your lifestyle. And so I think I love highlighting this because it shows that where there's a will there's a way.
And a lot of us military spouses, moms, we crave something that we get to call our own. Would you say that's true for yourself? Absolutely. And I think it's funny that so many people are like, I've always wanted to be an entrepreneur.
I did not. I can honestly say it literally never occurred to me to be an entrepreneur because in my regular life with my family, until I started this business, I didn't know anybody who was an entrepreneur. You know, 95% of people are nurses. So it was a completely different path that we took more out of necessity than anything else.
But it definitely turned out to be a good choice because as you said, it allows me to do something that's mine. I'm able to do something that I love but allows me to have the flexibility around my kids and my husband's own medical needs and all of that that I'm able to take care of my family while still being able to do what I love to do. Yeah, you know, it's funny that you say that because I never dreamt of being an entrepreneur either. Like growing up, I just thought, you just, you go to work.
And I just, I had no idea. I would never, never thought about being an entrepreneur. I didn't even know that I knew that that word meant until, you know, I started to venture into the business around. But you know, you mentioned that you're two younger kids are autistic and I'm sure that that that places a lot of demands on your life.
How do you find yourself managing, you know, being an online entrepreneur as well as a full-time mom and a full-time wife? Well, I think that the fact that my children are so important to me and the fact that they come with a lot of unexpected emergencies and situations is one of the reasons that my sister and I have chosen to work primarily with other moms. They're not our only clients but they are our main target markets and to be able to understand their pain points. And it means that if my daughter walks in in the middle of a meeting, nobody blinks an eye as I sure back out and I use it with my clients, you know, if you can hear their children talking in the background, you kind of just talk a little louder so we can hear each other.
And so I've really found that being able to work with a community that really knows my struggles and that I'm able to then also understand theirs really makes it a lot easier. As far as actually managing it, a lot of caffeine is pretty much the only answer that question because sometimes it only shows you how. Yeah, you know, it's so true what you say about, you know, the understanding part. A lot of those create businesses or look for things that fulfill our passion and our purpose in life and we're met with a lot of resistance.
I mean, the truth of the fact, the truth of the matter is our kids do come first. Our kids are a priority or our husband's job becomes a priority and it's difficult to remember that you're a priority and that what you're doing and what you're trying to accomplish through your business is also a priority. Are there some things that you, you know, all jokes aside with the caffeine I'm trusting that caffeine is definitely life in my product. But you know, are there some things that you have been through mentally and emotionally that have gotten you to this 10 years, you know, success, creating a business 10 years, that have been a huge success?
Well, I think a lot of lessons unfortunately have been learned for me the hard way. For example, the fact that, you know, my daughter, my son and daughter have doctor's appointments almost every week if it's not one thing, it's another. And but because of that, I was neglecting my own health because I'd say, oh, I had to take them to the doctor, I'm not trying to go to the doctor. It wasn't until one day my sister said randomly, you know, we should go get checked up, I did and we actually ended up finding a problem that if I had not gone to the doctor that they could have escalated into something a lot worse.
And after that, I really tried to make it a priority to make sure that I was also taking care of myself because if I get sick, then there's nobody to do the millions of things I do every single day. Right. And I think that that's something that can happen again, when you're a mom, when you're a military spouse, when you're a business owner, is that your own health tends to fall by the wayside because everything else becomes so important. So I've tried to make sure that I'm taking care of myself just as much as I am of anything else.
I'm also trying to develop hobbies and interests that don't involve me staring at the computer because of course, as a website designer, I want my computer pretty much 24 seven. So I'm trying to do things like coloring and hand lettering that not only take me away from the computer, but it kind of forced me to slow down and just turn my brain off and do something that's not business related, that's not productivity related, that's just me being in the moment and kind of focusing on me. Oh, I love that. I love that you brought up the fact that with all of your priorities, you neglected yourself because that is so true of so many of us.
And the fact of the matter is if we're not taking care of ourselves, we're not able to take care of the people around us. I don't know why that's so hard for us to really understand until like you said, when you're faced with a, you know, this could have gone really badly if you hadn't taken the time for yourself and it could have escalated. And then also having hobbies and interests outside of work and outside of family. Right.
Even, you know, the coloring and hand lettering that's something that you can do with your family. It doesn't mean, you know, but it's not dependent on your family. Right. And I just so good.
That's such great advice for any of you military spouses listening or moms that are listening out there, what great advice. Thank you, Lily. Now, you know, like you said, you're a website designer and you spend a lot of your days staring at a computer, I can definitely relate to that. But we talked a little bit before the show about how this became your passion and how, you know, why website?
Well, this is kind of kind of aged me a little bit. So I'm not sure how many people in the audience will understand my references. But my father was a computer engineer and he was always determined that we would end up in something computer related, whether whatever it may be. That's why he put us in typing classes like age six, even though back then computers were not a big thing at all.
Because he was determined to get to loving computers. In high school, I experimented a little bit with website design when I was playing with my space pages and apartment 107 pages, that sort of thing. I would take the code, I would change it out and I would make the page look the way that I wanted to. And that was kind of my first experience with coding and design and all of that.
When my sister and I started our first business 10 years ago, we chose website design only because it was something my brother-in-law could do. So he would do the main actual designs while she and I would do everything else in the business. Now he kind of transitioned out only because he still has a full time job while me and my sister don't. So for a while, we started doing virtual assistants and a bunch of other different things.
And like I said, six years ago, we started in on website design again because we realized it was really what we love to do. We love being able to put the designs together and sort of experimenting, experimenting, experimenting and so you find that perfect design and it kind of just all comes together and that's one of my favorite parts of the project. I spent hours and hours and hours and hours and I was like, okay, it looks good. And then we're done.
Yeah, yeah. As a whole, you know, even outside of being able to help other entrepreneurs, other women entrepreneurs and being able to have a website that they're proud of which helps them to go to their business, the actual design process is something that I really enjoy. I love that. How is it working with your sister?
Depends on the day. You know, being twin sisters, we've been treated as one person for a very long time. And that can be good and bad depending on the day. The best thing I think is that ever since we've started this business, we've kind of drawn a line that at least business wise, I don't say anything to her that I wouldn't say to a typical coworker or somebody else would be on my level at work.
And by doing that, we've been able to kind of maintain respect for each other and clear boundaries in the workplace. Now we're not working that entire separate. We can, you know, we're not working that entire separate. Right.
But because of that, you know, in the 10 years of business, I'd say we've only had a fight about a business matter maybe once in that entire time because of the fact that we've been very good about not making it personal when it comes to things that are business related. Yeah. Yeah. And you started, were you living in the same place?
Yes. Okay. Because in fact, my husband was in Korea. I was actually living in her house at the time that our first business started.
And we were, you know, only in our early 20s, my sister was working a corporate job and was already getting burned out after only like a year. So at the time when I decided that I wanted to start a business, she said, you know what, I hate my job too. I'll just do this with you. And so we just decided to go into it all at once.
The great thing about that story is that, you know, this guy's your limit. And I think that's an important message to share is that, you know, your creativity and your imagination can be, can be exactly what you need to just take that chance, you know, about taking chances and helping others. I think so many of us can, you know, relate to wanting to do that, wanting to help others in some ways shape or form. And it sounds like you guys just, you know, sat down brainstormed and thought, okay, let's give it a try.
And then through, like you said, trial and error and, you know, trying different things and finally landing on the website design. Before the show, we, you and I were kind of sharing about how, you know, military life, you weren't really engaged in the military life when you were in the military. And it wasn't until you, your husband got medically discharged that you started to search for, you know, resources. Can you tell us a little bit about that?
So as part of the fact that my sister and I are overly dependent on each other, even when my husband was in the military, she was really my primary source of support. Now at the end of the day, as much as she tries, she has not actually lived the military life. So there are still some things that she couldn't really understand or empathize with me about. It wasn't until after, like I said, my husband was discharged and I started finding, I'm pretty sure by accident, all the different resources that were available as part of the military community.
And also to be fair, the digital world is completely different now that it was very, very, very military life. I mean, during my husband's first deployment, we didn't even use Skype. We still had really expensive phone calls. Yeah.
Even such. So it was after we got out that Facebook started growing a little bit bigger and then that's when the communities were being built online. So I was really able to connect with military spouses, not just locally, but from around the world who really knew what I was going through on a daily basis and were able to kind of provide support for me in a way that I hadn't gotten before. Especially now, there are Facebook groups and LinkedIn groups for military spouse entrepreneurs who again, being an entrepreneur is one set of issues, being a military spouse, one set of issues, but being a military spouse entrepreneur is its own set of issues.
And being able to talk to people who really understand that world and who go through it all the time is really helpful for me. And I think it's a vital piece of, it's really something that most people should consider, whether you're a military spouse or just a regular entrepreneur or whatever, is being able to find a community of people who understand what you go through and are able to provide your support. Yeah. And I was talking about how the people you surround yourself with can honestly make or break you.
I mean, as harsh as that sounds, we project or we take on so much of the emotions and the turmoil and the happiness of the people that we surround ourselves with. So surround yourself with people that understand because community, again, is so incredibly important. And you know, you had talked about wanting to share your passion project with Operation Site Lines. And why did that become a passion project for you specifically in helping military spouses?
So there is an organization locally that's called 100 Entrepreneurs. It is an organization that helps veterans, more specifically usually wounded veterans because of the fact that we're near to Walter Reed, who are looking at what they're going to do with their lives after they transition out of the military. And so a lot of them are looking at entrepreneurship. When I started attending those events, I was like, I want to be able to do something similar.
I want to be able to help the military community as well. So at that time, I was like, hey, I do website design. We'll just do this kind of website design for people. And so Operation Site Launch was born about four or five years ago.
It was only the last year that I decided to kind of pivot a little bit and really focus on military spouses because that's whose pain points I can speak to. So I can help them a little bit more in their journey. As I said, there's a lot of resources out there for entrepreneurs, especially military spouse entrepreneurs. But the problem when you have a lot of resources is you don't know what to do and you get paralyzed.
You sit there and you never get any good. Plus, there's also the fact that a lot of the resources that I've seen, because of the fact that they're trying to help so many people, the resources are very general. And so it means that it may apply to your business. It may not.
It's not specifically to deal with online service providers because our advice can be a little more specific and we can really help people a little bit more in the launching and the running of their daily business. But also, a lot of these programs are kind of specific and who can take advantage of them. Like my husband isn't retired, he's medically discharged. So technically, I'm not eligible for a lot of the programs that are available to retired spouses or active duty spouses like that.
So my goal is to be able to help any military spouse, whether it's active duty, whether it's retired anybody who wants to start a business and find that thing that they can call their own. So we're still mainly doing the website part of it, but we're also launching a coaching program, an accountability program, a mentorship program, and different courses that can help people from when they start their business until maybe the first year so that they can start seeing some growth. We recently launched a challenge five days to launching your side hustle as a VA. The website is down for now, but it will be back up in the next few days because I really think especially now with COVID and everything that's happening, that there are a lot of military spouses who are like, hey, how can I make money with my children running around the back ground?
I think that a virtual assistant is a great way to do that with minimal startup costs and you can make use of whatever skills you have to already have. Oh, did I lose you? No. I was a chair of mine and further again.
Oh, no, sorry. Yeah, I think you brought it up though about the fact that as a husband medically discharged and didn't retire from the Air Force, that brings on a whole other set of challenges when it comes to finding support and services, which will put our political opinions and things like that aside on that matter. But at the same time, it doesn't mean that you need any less. You might need more in that sense.
And so I've had several friends throughout the military, our military life that happened but I think it discharged. And it puts you in a position where you have to pivot quickly because it wasn't something that you had mentioned before the show. It wasn't something that you had anticipated. You anticipated you're having several more years in the military, which means secure paycheck, which means services, support, community, and part of insurance.
And so I'm sure I can't speak from experience, but I'm sure you've faced a lot of challenges that people don't think about. And the very fact that you had started your business and had something to call your own so that you could kind of maybe provide a buffer during the transition, is that how did that impact your family? Yeah, I mean, at the time my business wasn't making super solid money, but the reality was at least knowing where I stood and knowing what I did definitely helped because if both of us were kind of sitting there thinking, what are we going to do? Then it would have been that much harder.
Now my husband was fortunate in the fact that he had access to Bock We Have. So pretty much as soon as he got out, he went to school and became a stipend and his disability benefits, we were able to basically get by even in an area where the cost of living is insanely high. But I don't, that's yet another thing. He just happened to know about Bock We Have and happened to take advantage of it.
Not everybody knows all of the benefits that they're entitled to when they get out. And so if you don't take advantage of those benefits and you're sitting there struggling, trying to figure out on top of everything else, on top of dealing with medical issues and the change in lifestyle, then you're like, how am I going to bring in money? And the transition time is definitely a rough one. I don't think that military families are given the amount of support that they could use during that time to really, I mean, it's a huge change in many ways.
And I don't think that it's acknowledged enough or that people are given enough support to really get through it in a productive or good manner. Yeah. I think it's such an important message that a lot of times we think of finding, as military spouses or moms, we think of finding our own passion and purpose in life as you talked about the quarter, a lesser of a priority. Our first priority is supporting our family.
In your situation, because like you mentioned, you could stand on your own two feet in the sense that you weren't questioning your identity. You weren't like, who is Lilly in this moment, which would just have compounded the what your husband was going through. I think that message right there, being able to say, okay, I'm doing this, I know what I'm passionate about, I know what I love to do and I'm going to dig deep and keep going. That is resiliency.
And that's what I am just super passionate about sharing is resiliency and being resilient in this life, whether you're in the military or not, and instead of resentful, because I think it would have been really easy for you to resent the military, to resent the situation you were in, but I'm sure there was mixed emotions. So what would you agree that in that moment you had an opportunity to be resilient? Yeah. And I was having this discussion with another military sponsor of the day as well, where I said, I think that one of the biggest things that I got from the military is the ability to sort of see what's in my control and see what's not and to kind of just accept that and move on, because as you said, resentment builds and it's not healthy for anybody.
So as difficult as it was for us to make those changes and to have the transition happen out of nowhere, it just gave us a chance to pivot and figure things out on our own. It was difficult for me anyway to be so far away from my family, especially my twin sisters. So I looked at the silver linings and hey, we can move back home. Great.
As I said, most things, there's generally a silver lining and it's taken a long time for me to be able to focus on that, rather than looking at the things, the way that I wish things were. But it's definitely a scale that the military has sort of forced me to work on and really say that I'm going to focus on the things that I can change and focus on the things that I can help and the positive things that are happening and just kind of brush aside the stuff that I can't do anything about and not worry so much about it, because again, there's nothing you can do. You can't change it. You can't change it.
It's doing about it. Only her too. I love that. I mean, it's so powerful in the sense that there are so many things in the fight that we cannot change.
I like a broken record by saying this to people. There's so many things we can't change. But when you focus on the things that you can, you live a happier life, you find this overlining. You come out on top, to be honest.
And I think your story and your testament to the way that you've maneuvered and how you've gotten to the place that you are today is so powerful and such an inspiration to so many people. I thank you so much for sharing. I think that COVID is also a really good example of like, it's been months now, right? Everybody thought, oh, we'll be over quickly now.
But here we are, months in and things are still where they are. And it's only now that I'm like, you know what? I need to prime my new normal. I can't keep living in this state of emergency forever because it is exhausting and because I'm never getting anything done.
As I said, I have my school, I have my work, I have so many different things. So this week, one of my priorities is to really come up with a daily schedule. This is what I'm going to do. Now, if some day that schedule goes out the window, then it does.
But at least having a starting point is still better than waking up each day thinking, what am I going to do today? Oh, waste more time. And I'll not really be productive or get anything done. And you know, fitting my workouts in has to go somewhere in there because that's unfortunately one of the things that's kind of gone out the windows that's going to start it.
And I think that that's something, you know, adjusting to the fly something, most multi-spots are good at somebody because they're forced to do it all the time. I think that most people now really need to accept that even if things go back to quote unquote normal, it's not going to be the normal that you know. And it's time to start finding what that new normal is because we can't just keep going day to day and living one day at a time because again, it's exhausting. At least it is for me.
Yeah, no, I completely agree with you. I mean, it's transitioning and being able to, I like to say, turn with the wind is an important skill to have because we don't know what's going to work around the corner. And the only thing that we can know is who we are in this situation and what choices you have. And so I love the fact that you just talked about how you woke up and you're like, okay, I can't live in the state of emergency, the state of crisis, I'm going to get back to make it my new normal.
And that's your choice is to make it your new normal. And again, in a week from now, a month from now, a year from now, I'll get my change again. Right. But as we wrap up, are there, you know, what are some of your big takeaways, like your top one, one or two lessons that you'd like to share with our listeners?
Well, for one, like I said, take care of yourself because if you don't take care of yourself, everything else matters. And the other thing is to find what you're passionate about, whether you decide to turn into your business or whether you decide to volunteer or just spend more time learning about something, having something that's only yours is really, really important, especially in a world where we can get lost in everybody else's stuff, having something that's only yours is important. Like my answer is like, why do you even work? I'm like, because I like what I do, you know, like outside of money, I like what I do.
And I like being able to influence people's lives and being able to help them realize their dreams are being an entrepreneur. And that's one of the things that keeps me going on the rough days. And that's why I think being able to find something that you love to keep you going on the what nowadays seems to be more often than not hard days is really important. Absolutely.
And listeners, friends, if you guys are thinking about starting a business and just don't know where to start, a website is a great starting point to be able to hone in on your message and your why. And, you know, Lily is a great starting point for you. And I hope that you guys will check out site launch and operations site launch. And so, Lily, before we close, share with our friends here where they can find you on social media.
So my main Facebook page is Facebook.com slash site is that's for my main business. We don't actually have a social media for operations site launch yet, but the website for operating site launches operation site, S Y T launch.com. Perfect. All right.
And we will have her, you know, contact information in the show notes. So thank you, Lily, for joining me today. So much great information in your story that our listeners can take away from you. Thank you again for coming on and chatting with me today.
Thanks for having me. Thank you for listening to today's show. If you'd like to come on the show and have an honest conversation about connecting, relating, and encouraging them. Contact us at hello.
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