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Hello and welcome back to another episode of Honest Talk Radio. I'm your host, MacKyla, and today is a very special day. It is March 8th, which is International Women's Day. And so I am going to go ahead and jump right in and introduce my beautiful guest, Maxine Reyes.
Maxine is a well-rounded and dynamic individual. She's a mother, a military wife, veteran philanthropist, author, speaker, resiliency trainer, public speaking instructor and relationship coach. On top of that, she is also an artist. And I can't wait to learn more about you, Maxine.
But before we get started, you were also born in Kingston, Jamaica. So again, International Women's Day. I love that. You grew up in Manchester.
And today, we're going to talk about the importance of the arts and how that kind of a field that can go unnoticed. And in the sense that people don't realize how much it's needed or impacts their life. And so, Maxine, welcome to the show. And I can't wait to chat and learn more about you.
Thank you so much, MacKyla. Thanks for having me on. I absolutely appreciate it. You are very welcome.
Again, I'm super excited that today's International Women's Day. I think every day should be International Women's Day. Yeah, that's true. More specifically, I would love for you to share with the audience a little bit more about yourself.
I gave kind of the very brief overview, but you are one talented and dynamic and wonderful individual. So tell us a little more. Thank you so much. I was born in Jamaica and I grew up there with my great-grandmother.
She was born in 1907, so she came with a lot of wisdom. Yeah, it taught me a great deal about life and just respecting the space that we're in while we're breathing, because once we're gone, that's going to be it. So I left Jamaica at 15. She passed away when I was 12.
I went to live with my mom. And three years later, I migrated to the United States to Miami, where I finished high school and joined the Air Force after high school. During my time in Miami, I dove into the arts, ran track and field in Jamaica, but that was the only thing my family could afford to do, because we didn't have to buy anything but shoes and food for energy. Everything else, when it comes to the arts, to learn a piano, you gotta pay a lot of money or learn any other instruments and these are instruments that I wanted to learn.
So I just stuck with track and field and singing acapella as much as I could. And so with that, it honed my skills. So when I came to the United States, I decided not to run track anymore. I was very good at it.
I got to scholarship for it. But now that I'm in the United States, I was like, you know what? I'm not going to do something that I don't have to do. I'm going to do things that I really want to do.
And I just dove into the arts and music was where I decided to use it to maximize the use of my natural talent, my natural gift, and a lot of people know me for singing since then. So I joined the military and here we are, we're going to be talking about my military experience and all that, but I'll have you ask whatever that you wish to ask beyond that. Yes, well, I would let, so I did, I have to admit, before we hopped on over the weekend, I went to your social media sites and I listened to your beautiful voice singing the national anthem. Oh my goodness, you gave me goosebumps.
Do you want to sing for us? Do you want to sing just a short little bit of that phrase? I can definitely sing something. Let's do a song that I wrote, joy unspeakable.
Okay, this love that I have, the world in giving to me, this joy that I have, the can't take it away, this love that I have, the world in giving to me, this joy that I have, the can't take it away. I mean, then we speak for themselves. Yes, oh my gosh, that's an orangess. I love that.
It brings kind of tears to my eyes because, you know, the lyrics, I can't, you can't take this away. That is something that I am very passionate about is the fact that we can find our own joy, that we can see good even when in the midst of hard times and hardship. I'm a very optimistic person, not fake optimism, but looking around and always trying to see the silver lining and things. And so I definitely got that from your song.
Thank you for sharing. I know I put you on a spot. Oh, no worries. Thank you so much.
I get put on this spot all the time so I should be prepared, right? Well, that is a great segue into our conversation around the arts. And you know, you had mentioned in our pre-podcast, class questionnaire, how the arts is needed by so many, but yet it's not really respected by some who take the work that's put into art for granted. Can you tell me a little more about that?
I've had conversations with people over the years, and especially in the military space. It's surprised me that so many people that I know they benefit from the arts. I mean, every leisure time we got, it was about music or going to museum or cooking. Cooking is culinary arts.
I mean, we eat, breathe, and hear the arts every day. And so with that, I mean, I wanted to address it because of the importance of awareness, bringing awareness to the fact that people take the arts for granted. And just by conversations that I've heard in the military space, it's like it's not serious enough for someone like me who's educated and have all these leadership skills, the professional background that I have to want to sing and be on stage doing what God gave me a natural gift to do. I've had conversations with people who, yes, there are people in the arts that are not professional and they may not show up on time for something or they don't know business, and so they don't do business as well because all they focus on is the creative side.
And I've had a conversation with a handful of people who said, no, I don't want to deal with people who are in the arts or who's performing because that's just a complicated area, it's complicated to work with them. And it's not as important as something else like in politics or something. But people may not know business, but maybe you want to offer them some advice and see where it goes. But I wouldn't discount a person automatically because of something that they do that's artistic.
And so, yeah, because for me, I have the professional background and I do my best to bring that into the arts business. And so it doesn't make me less of a professional because I'm a singer as well. And I say this because I've had a certain leader in the past who discredits the fact that I was a singer and I was also a leader in a position that the military depended on. And if I didn't use my natural talent in the way that I was able to build relationships that until today I've kept those and nurtured them.
And people reach out to me all the time because they remember me for singing, for volunteering, to lend my voice for an event that they had, something that represented, I represented the army at a time. And the way for me to get into the rooms and be at the table the easiest way to gain their trust was to volunteer and give my talents. So although the position was a serious position, I couldn't just go in there and say, hey, I am captain Reyes and this is what I do because they didn't want to have anything to do with the army at that time because a bad reputation that was built prior to me going there. And my job was to change that, change the narrative of what the army persons were about in the area.
There was a sexual harassment that was going on in schools among soldiers and students. And so when I got there, I was told, hey, they don't want to send the schools anymore. Can you do something about this? And I was like, I'll do my best.
You know? So the first thing I did as someone who's been sexually harassed before, not in the army, this happened in the Air Force, but I just told my team, listen, you will not harass anyone under my watch because I may be unbiased. No, I may be a little biased because I've been in the situation. So I'm not going to automatically think that you didn't do it because I know it's happened to me.
It's like it happened to anyone. Right? And so I gave me that warning in the very beginning. So what I was able to do was use my talent, my artistic talent to go into local government volunteer to do the national anthem, volunteer to sing at any event that they had because that was that easy way for me to get in and guess why?
It worked. It worked. I mean, by the time I left there, maybe my leader at the time, maybe they didn't appreciate me being the artistic person and having a great focus on that in order to build a strong rapport and put the army in a positive light because we do so many great things and not, you know, these little things that are held against us, right? So, yes, I'm sorry, I got a little distracting because people are coming in and out of the room.
No worries. No worries. My apologies. But yeah, once I knew what would work in that environment, I was able to share my talent and build that rapport to make the army look good and ended up getting me an award by the end of that tour, a proclamation by the mayor and the local government with my own day.
That this never happened to anyone in that area or I don't know what happened anywhere. You know, Captain Maxine Reyes, David City of Orlando for the work that I did, the leadership, the volunteer mentoring, volunteering with the homeless, all the bad stuff. So use your gift and it will open a lot of doors that will benefit not just you but others. Yeah, I was going to say what I'm hearing you say is how you can take your God-given gifts and you can use them in all sorts of environments that you might not otherwise think you can.
You know, most people don't associate, okay, I'm going, you know, I'm a captain in the army. They might not automatically associate you as a singer. They see the rank, they see the position, but what you're saying is that you can, you are able to use your gift of being an artistic person, being able to sing and get in touch with people that way to influence a situation positively, to paint a positive light around what it was you were doing in the military. And I saw you in your bio.
Yeah, because I saw you in your bio, you know, you're a soul-centered leader who's inspired and entertained a wide range of audiences through singing and speaking. And that includes a president of the United States, dignitaries of Qatar, collegiate students, wounded warriors of the armed forces, and so much more. And I just think that right there encompasses what you're talking about and how what I'm getting from you is this inspiration for those of you that are listening. If you have a talent or something that you're like, oh, it's just a hobby.
I just enjoy painting or singing or dancing or whatever. Think about ways that you can use this because you were given that talent for a reason. And so you don't discredit the talent that you were given. You hit the nail right there.
That's why. And that's the reason why. And that's the reason why I'm hosting an event at the end of March for women who are storytellers and women in the arts. Because, and it took me three years to really define what I'm going to do with my brand, Carjean Grace.
That brand was created while I was active duty because women were, women leaders were forcing themselves to be who they weren't. They were leading without being a nurturer. They were aggressive. And when I left the Air Force and came to the army, I saw the difference in the styles of leadership.
But because majority of the leaders in the army, of course, they're men, and probably on both sides of it. Yeah, the Air Force and Army, but the Army is so huge. That's an excellent organization. But I noticed that the women who were in leadership positions, they were trying too hard because they wanted to fit in and to be respected.
And it was a sad situation. And so when I was leading and I was still being a nice person, because that's my personality, but I was also respecting the lowest ranking to the highest ranking. Because of your position and your rank, you shouldn't look down on anyone or treat them any other way, because we've all read the same uniform and we all adults. I mean, those young men and women raise their right hands and said, yes, I will defend the constitution, the same as the Fulbert Colonel.
They were there before. And these kids, these young people are not, they're not in a high school or middle school, they're grownups. And so at the time when I crossed over from the Air Force and did Army, I was noticing the behaviors of how the younger ones or the lower ranking personnel were being treated by some, not all situations. But then when I saw the women leading, the way they were leading and being aggressive and they felt like they had to curse and yell at others to get their point across.
And I'm like, you're doing this all wrong. I got my point across just speaking to the other human as they are. Yeah, as a human, you know. And so that's what I brought to the table, which was different.
And I was a prior enlisted as well. So they knew that, hey, she's been in our shoes. She understands the challenges, a lot of the challenges that we have. And so maybe that's why she speaks us the way she does.
But that's not the only reason why that, the reason why is because I believe in treating everyone with dignity and respect. Absolutely. And so being that woman I wanted to make to change the narrative of leading with courage but still being graceful. Yeah, that's where that brand came in.
Leading with courage and grace. And I think that you see that same thing come out in all different different workforces. Is that for so long, as women, we sometimes walk out feeling like we have something to prove. And so then sometimes you can conform to what you think other people want to see from you.
But what I was hearing from you is that you thought, hey, I'm a nurturer. I am a singer. I am compassionate, caring, and gracious. And I want to extend that to everyone, even as I lead them.
And as we lead our families too, I try to offer that same thing to my children. I'm not 100%. I don't get 100% every day every time that's leading with compassion and grace because I'm a sinner. We are not that same.
Yeah, exactly. But that same idea, I think really what this conversation is about is about authenticity. And be your personal self. Don't try to be someone that you're not.
Because you're beautiful the way that you are. And part of Honest Talk is all about having these real raw, honest conversations. Because I want to encourage those of you that are listening, that when you try to be someone that you're not, that's when I feel like there's so much friction in your life. But when you can stand up tall in your own skin and who you are with your values and your morals and your standards, so much more can be done than when you're trying to be someone that you're not.
Absolutely. And just going back to courage and grace, authenticity and the arts, I felt like I wasn't being myself when I was discouraged from being artistic, from being myself. And you perform so much better when you can just be you. Be you in the environment that you're in.
Whether it's the military, whether it's corporate leading a team, no matter where you are, what job you're doing. Just be you, be genuine, treat people with respect. And they will embrace you. I noticed that with my soldiers.
I mean, a lot of them still keep in touch with me and I'm retired now. They're still serving and they still keep in touch with me because, you know, and they'll say, may this happen today or that happened today? And you've always, it would never have gone like that. You know, so you make an impact by the way you treat people.
And when they say that you're genuine and you treat them and encourage them to be genuine as well, they go on and live their life and try to emulate that. But they also come back to you because they felt comfortable with you. Right. Right.
Created a safe space for them to be who they were without apologizing for it, you know. Absolutely. And so another thing passionate of yours is to is you talk about relationships and you were a dual military in a dual military relationship for a while, right? Before you, yes, a military in 2017.
So that relationship, I mean, dual military. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for that.
And so is your husband still in the military? He's still active duty. And we've been at this. This is his 25th year of serving in the military and serving.
We're serving each other still. But I'm just in a different capacity as far as my active duty status. But we started this journey in 1996. That's when I met him, married him a year later.
And we were both in the Air Force at the time. We met volunteering and we continue to give our time to our communities, both here and in Jamaica. And so marriage has always been a part of my adult life because I've been married forever, all of my adult life, you know. And I saw how many people divorced since I've been married.
And a lot of people look to us for guidance because they see that all the challenges that we went through with the military being separated for a long period of time that we still kept it together and we're still thriving. And so that's something that we know that people look to us for help. And so we give the assistance whenever we can. And it's become a ministry for us.
Yeah, that's wonderful. I love that. And again, before the show started, we talked about with this, you know, theme of authenticity and how that comes out in your marriage as well. And how being authentically you impacts impacts your relationships outside of your marriage as well as your marriage of the whole.
And again, we talked about the bringing it back to the arts. How have you seen that come out in your marriage? Like how has being able to shine through your your artistic talent of singing, come out and help impact your marriage? It's been a blessing.
Not to brag, but my husband, he deserves accolades because he is such a supportive person and a supportive husband. And with our daughter, we have a 12 year old daughter now who's an artist. My husband's like, why try to be this other person when you are you had that natural gift? We should nurture your gift so you can do what you love for a living, you know.
And so that's what he's telling me now. I have all these degrees and even started a doctoral program. And my husband's like, they I support you. That's what you want to do.
But he said, you can sing. And this is your time to do what you love. Like why don't you focus on that? And if you want to do a doctorates later, whatever, or try a different field, yeah, you can do that later.
But he said, give your energy while you have it to the music, to the arts. And he said, I can see our daughter following in your footsteps because she's naturally, she sings, she plays a piano, she started playing the violin. And she's a talented visual artist. Like she's been featured on television and publications for her art.
And she said, this is what she wants to do. So we are honing her skills. We're going to start giving her get her professional classes. We're looking into different programs right now to see how we can get that in the time of the area.
But in the meantime, we're just encouraging her and she's getting featured in magazines and all that. You know, so the art, my husband is super supportive of the work that I do with my natural gift. And he's encouraging that more than anything else. And I could not ask for a better support than he is.
That's fantastic. And congratulations to your daughter too. And I would on this international Wednesday, I'd also like to point out the fact that, you know, you had mentioned earlier on in the show that having private lessons and singing lessons and musical lessons was not something that was really readily available to you. And so you're able to give back to your daughter something that you didn't have in the beginning.
And I just think, you know, that's that's what we try to do for our children is take take what we didn't have and that we've worked really, really hard for through other channels and be able to provide for them. And so I think that that's that's awesome. And I commend you for that. Thank you so much.
And I'm talking about individuality within the marriage. So of course, I have able to be authentic through my arts. And if I wasn't that individual, if I was a supported by my husband to be that individual that I am, I would be very unhappy. Yeah, everyone who's listening, if you have a talent, just let your spouse know how important it is for them to support you with it, whether it's being a creative writer or a cooking talent or whatever it is, ask for that support, have that open dialogue with a significant other because if you don't, they may not know how important it is for you to succeed in that.
That's something I made clear to my husband, made it very clear to him. And he's been very supportive ever since that's a promise. He said, I will never break. And he said, if anything, I'll annoy you in pushing you to do it versus taking it away from you because he knows how much joy music brings to me and me doing it.
So don't be surprised if you see me in a local theater in the near future, doing stage performance or on some screen eventually, because we're working that angle. You know, I do a lot of serious stuff, a lot of volunteer work. But when it's all said and done, the art is the center of my universe besides my family. And so, of course, got my faith in family.
But yeah, that's everything for me. And I'm giving people the opportunity, other women who are artistic and their teen daughters opportunity to be a part of a movement and courage the arts because it's around us every day, everywhere we go, the arts is there. And it should be appreciated. And these women who are trailblazers in these areas should be recognized.
And I'm starting it right here in Tampa Bay. Courage and grace, Ignite Confidence Brunch is on the 27th of March. And we can't wait. It's going to be the first one of its kind here.
And we're just looking forward to highlighting these artists and showing their talents in the world. I love that because as I was, you know, sharing with you in the beginning, before we started recording, I don't consider myself very artistic. I wasn't blessed in that realm. In other realms, yes.
I do love to, you know, draw and color and I love singing. I love dancing. And those are the things that motivate me, even though it's not my natural gift to do those things. You know, this weekend, I needed to clean my room, my house, and I needed to get the laundry done.
And so what did I do? I put in the earbuds. I turned on the music and it woke me up, got me excited and got me ready to tackle my chores and things that I needed to get done. And so in that sense, that's how, that's just one glimpse of how important the arts are.
And so for mental health and as a mental health coach myself, it is extremely entertainment, music you had mentioned about, you know, in the pandemic world, that's what we're turning to right now, to get, you know, to have glimmers of excitement in our lives. You know, we're not going to theaters, maybe like we were a year ago. Although I can't wait to do that again because I love it. But we are, you know, it's just such an important part of our lives, regardless of whether you're the one that's the artistic one or whether you're receiving the art, the benefits of the arts.
And so I just want to thank you so much for realizing that about yourself and not using the what if or should I or what if, you know, could I, but rather taking it, you know, by the horns and running with it, because we need more people like you that are willing to step out and to make this movement and to encourage others in just being their authentic selves. Absolutely, absolutely. And you know, I cannot do it without my, without my support system. I'm just grateful for my parents who keep pushing me, my friends who see the talent in my husband as well.
And even our daughter, whenever I go sing the National Anthem, because I usually sing in at games, you know, professional NBA games and stuff, she'll be right there on the floor looking at me and she's a mom. I don't know how you do it. You know, but it took practice over the years of singing at promotion ceremonies in the military, affiliated events. And then that helped me to bring it to the big stage where millions of people are watching because sometimes it's televised.
Right. And when you have that big of audience, you can't fail. So you just do it. But then every time I do it, there's a certain high that comes with it, you know, and I'm like, just trying to anthem in front of thousands of millions of people.
And if you can do that, and you can do anything else. So I started writing my own songs and now with a new single that's out came out a week and a half ago, it's doing very well. And it's about inspirational song. I'm like the music that I just want to be about love and inspiration and just want to encourage people and uplift them.
It feels like feel good music, you know? Yeah. I mean, we're about in our lives that feel good music that gives you the courage for those of you that are listening, it gives you the courage to step out. Maxine, you are, you're in inspiration.
And I know that the video that I watched of you singing the National Anthem at one of the games, it was recorded by your daughter. And you know, that guys, for those of you that are listening, our kids are watching. And too often we can be consumed with guilt if you're doing something for yourself, you know, too often it's the, oh, I can't take time to do this or I can't take time to do that or whatever the you know, you're filling in the blank because no, I need to give, give, give, give, but the truth of the matter is, if we do take the time to fill our cups, then we're able to give back so much more to our family than we even thought was possible. I just recently got my master's degree and I thank you.
And I stepped out and you know, I would those feelings of guilt would often come in and be like, oh, I have to study again when my kids want to do this or I have to, I'm missing this because I have to, I have to write a paper. But at the end of the day, our children see the hard work. They see the the tears, they see the happy, they see it all. And that is just reinforcing that that they can go through that, that they can, you know, they'll have the support to do that and to follow their path in life.
And so like you said, with your daughter wanting to also pursue the arts, you know, you're giving her permission by doing it yourself. You are encouraging her, you are showing her what it looks like to work hard and to dedicate yourself to something. And for those of you at home that are thinking, well, what, you know, what do I want to be when I grow up or what do I want to do with my life? Don't think small, think big, you know, think big.
And as you said, what do I want to do, not what my parents want me to do or what my co-worker thinks I should be doing. What do I want to do? Because I guess I have made the mistake in the past to even study a subject because I was already in a position, I got my master's in management and leadership. But if I had the right mentors, I would have known that, listen, you have so many years, like four years as a commander, right?
I had leadership skills, I didn't need to get a master's in leadership and management, I had a bachelor's in management. So mentorship is another thing. And that's why I'm mentoring my daughter right now, in doing what it is that she loves to do. And that she's not talented in there.
She is talented in there. So I would not encourage someone to do something there, if they have no gift, you know, if you make a mentor, give her it, because I think that's bad. But yeah, see the gift and it's something, even if it's not polished and they can go and get some additional training to become an expert in that, then why not? So that's why I help my daughter now in doing the things that she loves to do.
And that she's very good at all I need to do is help her with her voice training. And I'm going to get her professional art help and eventually she'll likely, preferably get a scholarship to study art. Yes, yes. And that's just encouraging people in their, in what they need to be encouraged in.
Absolutely. You know, same with my son. My son is really into computers and he built his own computer and he, you know, does all sorts of things. Well, we encourage that from a young age when he said, Mom, I'd like to build my own computer.
We had sat him down and said, Okay, well, what's it going to take? What is it? What do you need? Do you have to do all the research?
He had to do all the work himself, but we were there encouraging him along the way. And that's just it. You can't do it for them, but you can encourage them along the way. And Maxine, if you were to give our listeners one piece of advice, you know, our listeners are a lot of military spouses and moms and women.
And some of them might be like I was a few years ago where I just, I wore my roles and responsibilities and didn't know exactly who I was as MacKyla. And I was, I would often use the phrase I'm just a mom or I'm just a wife or I'm just a whatever. And I don't do that anymore. But for those that maybe are still in that stage of life, what would you, what would you like to say to encourage them today?
I'm going to reiterate that whoever's listening, you are not just a military wife or military spouse. You're not just a mother that stays at home, making breakfast and having dinner prepared for your spouse when they come home. You are your own individual and you can create a great and excellent career on your own. Use the gifts that God gave you.
Develop those skills. Do what you love and still be there to support your military spouse. I'm grateful that I was dual military. So I already had a career because I always wanted to not put yourselves in a position where someone else as loving as your spouse needed, that they control your financial destiny as well.
Make your own income in whatever it is that you love to do. And rock on. Rock on. Crush it because that's a lot of most spouses that are crushing the game right now.
Right. And I thankfully had my own job then. But now as a spouse who's not working in the military environment anymore, I'm figuring out, Hey, I can do this too. But just doing what I love.
And so now that I realize that I'm like, I'm going to tell everybody do what you love. And when I make sure it's a business that you can move around with because people PCS all the time. And that was a fear I had before starting my business this year. I realized that even though I was going to be moving around all the time that I could have had, I could have started this business remotely.
And then just have it be able to move around wherever it is that we moved to I just didn't want to get a job and hurting one's feelings. Hey, I'm going to be moving in a year because my husband's moving. You don't have to do that anymore. Yeah.
Oh gosh, there's so many open doors, right? There's I like to think of, I like to tell my clients, you know, let's think out of the out of the container. We're not no more glass ceilings. The other thing is not everybody wants to go out and work.
And that but again, it's about using your gifts and your creativity in the way that fuels you. And if that's through volunteering, and I know you and I both have done a lot of that, I like to call myself a serial volunteer. I've volunteered my whole life in various different ways, which has brought me to where I am today. Do a lot of those skills that I acquired.
But don't, I think what we're both trying to say is don't let those skills and talents go wasted because you think it's the right thing to do because you think that you need to pour into everything else and shove those skills and talents down because they don't matter and because they do. They absolutely do matter. And if it brings you joy, then go for it. Do it.
Yes. Yeah. Go back to that song that I did. Yeah.
Listen to that song and know you're worth. No, you're worth. Exactly. Know you're worth.
So how can our listeners get in touch with you? How can they find you? Please share with us any of your social media handles. They can find me on Instagram, mostly on Instagram at maxine.
Ray is official. Or if they want to focus more on the military marriage, they can go to happily joint that happily joins on Instagram B.P.P.I. and Y.J.Y.N.T. Perfect.
And Maxine, I'd love to have you back on so we can talk a little bit more about the relationship aspect in another show. Sounds great. And how a wealth of knowledge that I'd love to tap into. So thank you for spending your morning with me.
And again, for those of you listening, this is Honest Talk Radio. And we will be back with more episodes of Connections, Relationships, and Currentment. Thank you for listening to today's show. If you'd like to come on the show and have an honest conversation about connecting, relating, and encouraging women, contact us at hello at honesttalkinternational.com.
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