Special Guest Monica Fullerton

Hi, this is Makayla with Honest Talk Radio. Honest Talk Radio is a space where we will be sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly in real, raw conversations to try and do our part to reduce the amount of shame, guilt, and judgment so many of us women face. Our hope is that through these conversations, you will feel supported and encouraged in every aspect of your life. So let's get started.

Hello, everyone. Today is a great day because I get to chat with another military spouse who is serving this community in a big way. I'm your host Makayla, and here on Honest Talk Radio, we are all about having honest conversations around a multitude of topics. You may be feeling like you don't know which way to turn.

Perhaps you're feeling stuck and like there has to be more to this life than exhaustion, anxiety, and stress. So if that's the case, you're not going to want to miss this episode. Much like many of you, today's guest knows a thing or two about how military life can be taking different career paths, making hard choices, or finding yourself in places you never even dreamed of. Monica Fullerton is the founder and owner of an online community platform called Salsi, which she has designed to be a one-stop shop for military members, spouses, and veterans to buy and sell products and services all over the world.

Absolutely amazing. I can't wait for you to hear her story. So should we bring her on? All right, let's go.

Monica, thank you so much for chatting with me today. You have made a huge impact on the military community this past year. And so I'd love to begin with you telling the audience a little bit about yourself. Yeah, Hi, Makayla.

Thank you so much for having me and thanks for all of your support. So yeah, let's dive right in. Where to start. So I am an Air Force spouse.

We have twins, boy and girl twins. Their names are Maddie and Mason. They are four years old now, which is crazy. I don't know where the past four years have gone.

I'm a boxer dog mom. It's very important to note that because my boxer dog has very special feelings, so we cannot leave her out. And I actually married my high school sweetheart. So I have just been navigating this fun military life that is just always, you know, it's an exciting ride.

There's always twists and turns, but it's amazing to meet people like yourself and just be on this wonderful journey with so many others that can relate. So nice to you and be here today. It is often to meet you. I just loved following you since you started because again, I've seen so much in this last, I would say year it's become more and more apparent to me how the military spouse community is just banding together and trying to lift one another up.

And this isn't an easy life. And you know, it's very unique. There's definitely some challenges, but it doesn't all have to be bad, you know, the point that's sink and moving can be difficult sometimes, but I believe that there's a lot of hidden blessings in each of those things. So I read in the military family magazine, again, that you just mentioned your husband and you met in high school, but you did go different ways for a little bit.

Yes. We talked before the show and I could definitely relate to that. I also married my high school sweetheart. I think that's a little more common among the military spouse community.

But with that means making hard choices. So will you elaborate on a little bit of that? Yeah, I know, like you said, we were chatting about it earlier, which is so amazing because our stories are very similar. And you know, it's one of those things where I had my whole path kind of planned out for me.

I knew exactly what I wanted to do, what I wanted to go to college for. And I just kind of always been a planner. So my husband and I, when we were dating back in high school, we were really young and it was just one of those awesome relationships. But then you're like, okay, what's next?

You have to go to college and we both had decided we were going to go out of state. My husband went to school in Colorado and I went to school down in Florida. So we just decided, let's just say, friends, we have such an awesome relationship and we will just pursue our own careers and just really work on becoming ourselves and doing what we want to do. A little did we know that we would end up getting back together during college and just that's when my husband had started ROTC in Colorado.

And that was a really, really tough decision for me, to be honest. Because like I said, I'm a planner. I knew what I wanted to do. I moved down to South Florida because I really wanted to pursue broadcasting and communications.

It was a perfect location for that. And I knew I would be able to work my way up doing a career like that. But when we decided to get back together, I had to decide, was I ready to live the military life that involved moving around every three to four years and possibly putting my dreams on the side? And that's when I decided that I wasn't going to let anything get in my way.

So I know you're very similar and in your story is very aligned with mine. So I couldn't think of it any other way now. I think of it as every new obstacle, every new challenge is a new opportunity, like you said. And it only continues to make us stronger.

So. You know, I love that. Again, it is hard decisions, but it doesn't mean throwing everything else away. And so I have learned with being a 19 year seasons spouse in the Air Force that things do not, quite often do not go as planned with either locations that we're going to or career paths or all sorts of things.

It would be too easy if it went as planned, right? I feel like our lives are a really, really good book. Like if someone were to read our lives, just raw, it would be, it would make a really good mystery. Yeah, it would.

But so what is that? Yeah, what's next? So what are some of the things, so you know, you went into college knowing that you wanted to become, you know, working in the broadcasting world, how have you pivoted? How have you taken that desire and then making the hard choice to choose love, if you will, you know, romance novel as well, right?

Right. The mystery and romance novel. Choosing love, but still not losing your dreams. And you know, it looks different, but you're still, you're still Monica who is pursuing a goal in a game.

Yeah, I would say, you know, I had to rethink something because with a broadcasting career, you really have to be stable in one location, you know, and you're going to build your way up with that network and stay with them for a long time. So I actually, when we decided that we were going to get back together, I was still doing my undergrad degree. And when I decided to start my masters, I did my undergrad at a master's at the same time. I wanted to make sure that I had a focus on business.

So that's where I kind of took a little bit of my own personal turn, but in order to make it work, if I knew I was going to have to move around, I wanted to have that business background and that marketing background because I also am so passionate about, you know, helping others and finding something that is a business that aligns with continuing to empower others and make them see that even though you have challenges that come up, there's always going to be something, you know, that's put in your path for a reason. So yeah, instead of looking at it, you know, as a negative, which I'm not going to lie, it's very hard to rework your plan when you're a type eight person, like my side. So I definitely would say after I finished my masters, you know, I struggled the first year or two of living the military life because I, you know, wanted to make sure I say true to myself and doing something that I really loved, but different opportunities come up and you know, you have to do what's best for you and your family. So I am just so thankful that with Spousely, it has really put me back on that path of what I truly want to be doing, which I think is so amazing because, you know, I've created this company that's able to help so many people and it helps, you know, empower others who might have already had a path, but decided they had, you know, shift gears and how to really navigate that life.

So I kind of got there. Sorry. No, it's amazing. I think it's, you know, what you're speaking to is the fact that again, it looked different, but it's still intertwined, you know, broadcasting is a business, you know, you are going into a business and then you've taken, you were proactive, you were proactive in your education, you were proactive in the students that you made.

Although I'm sure like myself, there was a lot of tears and then there was a lot of, you know, like what am I doing? Why is this happening? Can't we just live a normal life, but what is normal? Right.

But what we don't realize is sometimes those tears are happy tears when we don't even know it and it's just because fans are aligning how they should and, you know, it's definitely a struggle. There's, there's hard times. There's the good, the bad, especially on this startup journey for me. I mean, I'm pouring everything into this company because I truly believe that it can help our community.

It can help empower those who are not in the military community to see just how amazing, you know, our community really is. Yeah, it's educating those that aren't in our community to show how strong we are and how resilient we are. What is one piece of advice that you would give a military spouse or a mom that is listening today that's like, okay, I'm in this military life. I'm kind of blinked.

And then like, how did I get here? What, you know, I don't know what to call my own. What would you, what would you say to them? What advice would you give them if they're not?

So the one piece of advice that I would give and, you know, I continue to give myself this piece of advice because you do have to push yourself, you know, it's not, nothing is going to come easy and that's not only in the military life. That's in life in general. I feel like you kind of have to fight for what you want. So if you're feeling stuck or you're in a place that you're just not truly happy with what the outcome is, you know, then you have to figure out a way to turn it.

And what's so awesome about the military spouse community is that we are such a huge network of so many different professionals, so many people who have done something that maybe somebody else hasn't or even just the amount of knowledge, even like yourself with being a seasoned military spouse, you have different experiences than somebody coming into the military life that you could really help guide them and provide them with such valuable information because the one thing that I would say is this path that we're on, you're not walking alone. And to always remember that you have other people on this path with you. And I know it is really hard to sometimes really bring that into effect because let's face it, we do feel alone sometimes because, you know, we're juggling, moving around, we're juggling life, we have, you know, most of us have kids in the mix or you're going to bring kids in the mix or whatever you decide to do, but there's always so many factors all the time. So you really just have to prioritize what is going to make you happy and how you can continue to stay on a really good path for yourself.

I love right there. You said you have to prioritize what's going to make you happy. And I think as a life coach, I know actually that that right there is one of the biggest challenges that my clients face is not being able to prioritize themselves. Yes.

Because in a world, absolutely, myself included. We live in a world where there are so many demands on our of us and especially as military spouses and mothers, you know, it's like, like you wake up in the morning and then your whole day is revolved around serving others and, you know, eating and cooking and cleaning and well, maybe not eating. I often have to eat. But what I what I try to share and I think what you are sharing too is if you take some time and prioritize yourself, you get to show up so much more whole, right, for all those other things.

So up, filled up instead of, you know, you know, yes. Yeah. So with that, how do you manage that with the four? So here's the kicker that I haven't mentioned yet.

I work full time as well while running spousely to full time. And I also, you know, in the twin mom and everything else that goes into the title. How do I manage it? Honestly, I have to prioritize like we talked about, but I have to do a better job.

My, my biggest thing obviously is making sure that my kids have everything that they need and then I'm there for them as a mom. Lately I've definitely been guilty of not being able to have a really good balance just because there's so much on my plate. But just making sure that you just put different pieces of your day to get, I think of it kind of like a puzzle and like just taking it apart and finding the different times that you're going to do this or that and making sure that it gets done. Because I'm a firm believer that, you know, I don't think people need to sit and work like around the clock and maybe just totally exhaust themselves.

I think you have to like get up, switch gears, do something else, come back and keep, you know, rotating to stay focused. So. Yeah, I am a huge, huge proponent and I teach my clients how to time block because without it, I it's like once the day is just one stream of events, like it's, you know, there is no breaks in between and then I'm like, wait, what did I actually do today? I know when you don't plan it, it just feels like one really long day.

Right. Yeah, you have to have a schedule and you know, that's what we've done with the twins since they were born is we've always had a strict schedule with the twins, even like our friends and family are like, wait a second, why are they telling you that it's nap time? Oh, it's nap time. But they're the ones telling us, you know, because they're so used to their schedule.

And that's something that I'm really proud of and that something that we've never like veered off of because it really has helped us with us, my husband and I both working full time to have that stability in their lives and to let them know because kids love being on a schedule, they just, they thrive in that kind of setting. So that's been right. Right. That I think that's a, you know, a lot of times we're afraid of schedules because we feel confining, you know, I've, I talked to a lot of my clients that that having that kind of a schedule does feel limited, some people view it as limiting because it's like, oh, if I don't hit this, then I'm, you know, as women, I think, and from the psychology aspect of things and the research I've done, oftentimes we come to the table with a narrative of a negative narrative already.

Yeah. And so if you're coming to the table with, if I schedule time out to work on my business or to have a job or to whatever, that you're always feeling guilty about what you're not doing. So instead of fully being present in what you are doing, we think about what we're missing out on or what we're not doing with the kids or with the family or, you know, when we're with the kids, we're thinking about what we need to do with work. So time walking from what I'm hearing from you is one of the ways that you stay sane is to be able to say, okay, well, I work full time.

I'm building, I'm going to call it an empire. And, and you're a mom to twins, not to mention cultivating still cultivating relationship with your husband, which I believe is still very, very important. We can't let that go because it one day it's all going to be gone and it's just going to be you and your husband looking at her. What we got and they'll be like out of the house and they'll say what happened.

Exactly. I'm almost there with one of them. So I know how fast it goes. So you know, with time walking, how there's so many hours in a day and you, like you said, you work full time.

So what did that do you work for the hour of the week with another business and then you do spastly on the side and then you, you know, with your kids. So how can you give it a little bit of a yeah, pace and what that looks like? Yeah. So I do work full time, 40 hours a week for a company.

I am lucky enough that I have built out such a great team with spastly. So I have a lot of, you know, the daily tasks that are going on and interactions and things like that are being handled by an awesome team. And then I work around the clock on spastly. So pretty much, you know, corporate world by day, entrepreneur, round the clock, a lot of late evenings.

Okay. It's just been, it's been hard. I would say my passion obviously lies with growing spastly and to continue making it such an amazing place for our community and for everybody else. So I can't wait for the day that one day I can, you know, fully make that shit.

But for now, the time being, it's juggling and it's scheduling out the day. So you know, my day is consumed of my full time job, but that doesn't mean that, you know, I can't be doing other things as well, just because, like I said, I mean, you have to prioritize and you have to schedule the print time blocks. But yeah, so just, yeah, it's, and I don't really see it as a strict schedule. I see it more as it really helps me keep everything in line because if I didn't have a schedule, then it would, I couldn't remember like what I did yesterday.

Like I have to, I have to see it and I'm the type of person that I have like four calendars and then I also have a handwritten calendar because I have to hand write it to remember my right hand. I'm exactly, we are, I think you're my favorite animal. I'm exactly the same way in the sense that I have to have it in multiple places and I've got to have alarms. So I operate with timers.

Yeah, that's great. Being in school right now, I like the timer and be like, okay, I'm just going to work on schoolwork for two hours. Yeah. And then I set a timer and then it's time to switch to another thing, whether it's homeschooling my daughter, whether it's working on the business, but I have to switch that way.

And then I much like school, you know, go back to old school where the bell rings and you have time to, you know, transitions to another class. Right. That's how I operate in my life because if I don't do that, like I said, it's like one stream of consciousness that, that at the end of the day, I'm like, I am exhausted, but I don't know what I did. Right.

Oh 2020. Yeah. So adding all these new things in the mix and just trying to navigate it like we didn't already have enough on our play desk. Seriously.

Yeah. Seriously. So I kind of, we talked about how you manage being a mom of twins and building a successful business. Are some of more specifically the personal and professional challenges that you have faced?

Yeah. So my personal challenges, I would say, is just trying to navigate through, you know, building a successful company and also finding that balance with family time because it's very, very hard sometimes to turn it off. It never, I never want to turn it off. I never really can turn it off.

So sometimes I have to tell myself like something can wait an hour, you know, put it, put it away, enjoy your time because life is short and if 2020 has taught us anything, it's enjoy the small things. So I am definitely guilty of that. I love saying it and I love hearing it, but putting it into effect and just, you know, trying to find that balance is a whole different thing. So the personal challenge would be just really making sure that I, you know, am able to turn it off sometimes to just focus on my family and do what I need to do there.

From a business challenge, everything has been going really well. I'm very, very thankful for the amount of support that Spousely has continued to receive. The biggest challenge that we're having with Spousely is now wanting to, we want to really educate the outside of the military community and the civilian world and just let them know how amazing our community really is and why to support, you know, military and veteran owned businesses because let's face it, you know, there's other companies out there where people can shop small, but it's just, you know, trying to navigate really tapping into what Spousely can do for our community as well. Yeah, there are.

So the military spouse community is full of people that have, you know, crazy levels of education, they have strengths and, you know, creativity like I've never seen before. I know it's crazy, right? I mean, it's, it's crazy good and it's just amazing. And I think that, you know, once other people who are on this in a civilian world realize that all of the things that are going on, you know, behind the scenes and part of the reason why so many people start companies is so that they can have it move around with them.

A lot of our vendors' stories are so inspiring because, you know, maybe their husband was deployed and they started a company to pass the time by and to provide extra income. I mean, what's not to love about that to really, to really support that, that raw talent, so. Absolutely. Absolutely.

I know that, you know, moving around, having to restart and build businesses every time I laugh, you know, childbirth businesses and every time I laugh, you know, creating that network of people and it was so, I got to the point where I fell into like a mini depression because I was like, I can't do it one more time. We've moved 13 times in 19 years and I just, I got to the point a few years ago, I think on our 10th move, where I just can't do this anymore. But thankfully with technology, it's opened a ton of doors. Yes.

So one thing I want to point out is that you are someone that I would consider extremely successful and I think anybody that is listening to this show would agree with me. But for all of you listening, I want you to hear the fact that Monica said her personal struggle is about finding balance. So you, we see on social media, people are just rocking it, right? But like you said, we're not seeing the behind the scenes.

And so I think it's super, super important to point out the fact that your struggles are very similar to the person that's listening right now that hasn't started a business that hasn't, you know, that's just trying to find the balance in maybe putting an exercise routine together, eating healthy, whatever the case may be, and, you know, be there for their children or be there for whatever. And so that's something I think we all all struggle with is finding balance. Yes. And I don't know that there's a such thing as balance truly, but I think what I try to teach my, my clients is that be confident in your decisions.

And that's something that I see in you and by talking to you that you're confident in your decision. So when you're, you may have some, you know, like, oh man, I feel bad about doing this, but you have gotten to the point where you're at because you said in the very beginning of the show, you're like, I was not going to let it, you know, rule me. I wasn't going to let the military life rule me. And so you were confident in pursuing a dream and, and the career.

Yes. And it's, it's not going to be easy. I mean, trust me, there's been so many ups and downs. What people don't see is the amount of, you know, stress and tears and all the money I'm spending on growing this company and is something amazing just out of the market, you know, I'm doing everything on my own.

I'm one person, I'm human, but at the end of the day, I mean, it is so worth it. I wouldn't trade it for anything because I'm not going to stop until I have made spously something truly amazing for the military community to support all of these awesome military spouses and veterans and just really bring light to the fact that there is just so many superheroes within a community that really need to be highlighted and really deserve a platform like spously because at the end of the day, you know, you're not only shopping small and supporting these businesses, but you're helping people like ourselves follow their dreams and navigate, you know, being able to move around every few years and just adding that extra layer of support on a community that's truly deserving of it. So. How does your husband felt with you embarking on this endeavor?

I know that's one of the difficult things, you know. No, he has been amazing. He is so supportive. We always collaborate on ideas with what's next for spously or ways that we can continue to enhance the community or continue to add new features and things like that.

He definitely always says I need to give myself a little break. I need to just learn to just truly relax and unwind and just turn some stuff off sometimes. And I know I mentioned before, I'm extremely guilty of that. I might be able to prioritize.

I'm a very big scheduler, but it is very hard to just truly, you know, use that minute, that hour or so. Sorry, that's my natural brain. I love it. This is called I'm not for a reason.

He's so supportive. He knows the type of person that he married and you know, a lot of people might see it as me just taking on so much and just being able to really just prove to myself. He's always like, who are you trying to prove like do because you've already like in my book, you have done it. Like you've done it.

Like everything. I'm like, I'm still getting there because it is going to be something incredible. So just keep pushing and with the support of him and my family, it's been really good. Yeah, I love that.

I love that. And that's another thing, you know, support. If you do feel like you're out there and you're out, you know, floating out there in space alone in this military life, please don't hesitate to reach out. You, I think Monica has a platform of people that are waiting for you to reach out.

Yes. I'm here for you to reach out. And so as we wrap up, if you, we talked about your piece of advice, which is, you know, figuring out a way to, you know, change the narrative, if you will, if you feel like you can't do something, then figure out a way to do it. And so what is something that you would tell, do you have like three things that you live by on a daily basis?

Yeah. So my first thing would be always be the best version of yourself. I think, you know, we are our biggest fans and we have to be our biggest fans because sometimes we, we get let down or we expect something and it doesn't happen. But if you're there cheering yourself on, which is kind of corny to say, but if you can just be your, you know, biggest cheerleader, like it will help push you to, I would say, follow your dreams.

I have that has been spousalise message since launching and we continue to use it because it's going to take time. But if you keep following your dreams and keep trying to navigate what it is you're chasing after, it will come. It will come with time. It'll come with a lot of support.

And who knows? It might even show you something, a new door might open and you might be like, wow, like even like you said, with, with coaching and everything and being able to help others, like a door opened and this was your true calling to help people. And then the third one would be enjoy, enjoy your family, enjoy the little things because, you know, we're never going to get this time back and especially I think if 2020 has taught us anything, I know I mentioned enjoy the little things, but it's just like the time is flying by like we already are almost out of 2020 and I know we're also excited about that. But like let's think about that for a minute.

How insane is that that a year has pretty much almost gone by like I know we wanted to fast forward through this year and we never want to look back on it. But at the same time, sometimes with the negatives and the bad things comes positive. I've seen so many beautiful babies born in 2020, spousalie launched in 2020. You know, meeting so many people like yourself in 2020 and just continuing to learn and grow from each other.

So instead of just always looking at the negative, try to find a positive out of it because it will help us all keep pushing forward together. Absolutely. Absolutely. I think, you know, my, my mom used to always say growing up when Wendor closes and other one opens.

2020 for our family, you know, we were in Rome, Italy. We were locked in an apartment for, I don't even know how many days. My husband was the only one that left to get our groceries for days on end. We didn't have, you know, backyard.

So we literally were inside. We had a little, uh, um, balcony where we would try to go get some vitamin D on our face, you know, right? But then we get too hot because it's hot in, uh, in the summertime in Italy. But out of that, our family emerged stronger at the family unit.

Um, I'm going to be getting, you know, graduating with a master's degree in 2020 and amazing. And COVID actually gave me, I am a yes person. And so it gave me the opportunity. I didn't have to say no to anybody because we were locked in an apartment.

Yeah. I had the opportunity to just buckle down, right, and do school, which now that we're back in the States and things have lifted a little bit, I have to prioritize. Like you talked about it, I have to say yes to some things, no to other things. And what's the most honoring of my time and my family's time?

Um, and my client's time. So, um, I love, I'm going to reiterate your three things that you would buy on a daily basis. And number one, being your biggest fan. I think that's where so many people get tripped up right there off the bat is that, um, we compare ourselves to others and limiting beliefs start to set in.

But it's like, so media where you just see all the perfectness all the time and you're like, why is that person's life so perfect? And I'm over here struggling or, you know, whatever. We have to remember we have to take down the curtain sometimes. All of it.

All real. Exactly. Exactly. And I hear a bigger, biggest fan, you know, I often tell even in my husband in the military, I'm like, nobody takes better care of you than you.

Um, you, those of you listening, you know your needs. You know what, what, you know, what you need. And so being your biggest fan is not selfish, but instead, um, it's a way to make sure that you get to show up every day. Um, 100%.

Yep. Um, follow your dreams. Um, and I would like to add on that. Don't be afraid to dream big.

You know, um, the sky's the limit. Technology is so advanced, it's getting better every day. Um, stay connected, be encouraged and find people that are willing to support you. And if you have a group of people that aren't giving that kind of level support, then maybe it's time to look elsewhere.

Yep. Um, and then enjoy the little things. Again, I really do believe that when one of our clubs is another one opens. Um, and you know, my kids are 16, 14 and nine.

What you said is 100% true Monica, you know, 2020 has just blown by. Um, there's a moment where it was like, is this ever going to end? Is this, you know, you're going to ever end. But at the same time, um, again, being locked up in an apartment with my 16 year old son gave me time with him that I would never have gotten otherwise.

Oh my gosh. I know. Can you imagine just like 16? That's a whole, whole new ball game going on.

Oh, that's amazing. So anyways, for those of you listening, just be encouraged and Monica, I'm super encouraged by you. I, like I said, I've been a fan since the beginning. Um, I love supporting what you do and will continue to do so.

And, um, and all the people that you've connected with through building the platform because military spouses and mates, they are amazing. Um, and I am for one extremely proud to be part of this community. Well, thank you so much. And it means the world to me.

And I know that sounds cliche, but trust me, when you're growing company from the ground up, support is what gets you through and helps you keep moving forward. So thank you so much for having me. Thank you for being here. And I look forward to chatting to you next time.

Thank you. Thank you for listening to today's show. If you'd like to come on the show and have an honest conversation about connecting relating and encouraging women, contact us at hello at honesttalkinternational.com. Also, don't forget to subscribe to this podcast so that you can be in tune with all the great happenings.

Have a great day.