Spiritual bypass and the body: listener question

As you know I lost my husband at the end of last year. I found you just after that.In the grief, the pain, the loss, the sadness, the heartache, the fear, the insecurity and situations that I have now to face without my reference point my soul mate I have never before been in the reality of life as I am now.I have come to understand that I have Spiritually bypassed and denied so much of life. The courses and books you write are showing me this. I am feeling and being present like never before.I also have been pushing away physical symptoms of illness for many years because I have so much conditioned ideas about ‘it’s my thinking, if only I could change my thinking, it’s all my fault if I didn’t think this way, eat this way, was more spiritual I wouldn’t have this illness. I took it so personally and so much shame and blame showed up.And punishing myself for all that was happening to me, taking it all personally because that’s what some spiritual teaches brought to me. So I spent years trying to fix the broken me with everything I could and then when it didn’t work blame shame game again.My understanding through you is becoming so much clearer. I have sought medical advice because in the quietness of mind activity that’s what came up and I acted on it.So in spiritual bypassing damage has been caused to my joints because I ignored the symptoms.Sorry I have wondered a bit. So I was wondering if you could talk a bit more on spiritual bypass.Sending lots of love your way and so much gratitude to you.