Just three adult men asking questions about Star Wars no one knows the answers to. Welcome back to the Internet's number one sand hater podcast, The Lore Boys. I'm your host, Ethan Palmer, and with me for the rule of three is James and Peter. Hi, James and Peter. Hello. Hello. Can I ask which one of you is the Sith Master and which one is the Apprentice? Darth Miller. I don't know if that's right. We're not going to talk about the Sith at all today. I don't know anything about them. Before we get into Star Wars, I want to give a shout out to our patron of the week for supporting this episode. It's going to go to CallSignPirate, who subscribed while I was adding the finishing touches to today's script. So kudos to you.
And if you want to shout out, check out our Patreon link in the description below. Yeah, we're going to talk about Star Wars, a topic which I'm familiar with via the Wikipedia reading I've done in the past six months. What is your all experience with the Star Wars canon? Yeah, I would start by saying if this is your first episode and you're a diehard Star Wars fan, I'm sure there's a lot we'll get right, but we're all very new to the fandom for the most part, I would say. Look at this. If you're a Thrawn head, I don't know what you guys call yourselves. If you're a Wookie head.
Look at this as we're virgins, okay? And you get to watch us get deflowered. We're going to deflower each other on this. Yes. Nice. And help to nurture new fans rather than say you got this wrong and call us names on... Or do. I don't care. Just put it in the comments. Just put anything in the comments. That's true, actually. Yeah, engagement is engagement. And anything that I get wrong in the script is actually rage bait. So congratulations. You played yourself. That's a good move. The reason we waited nine years to cover Star Wars is because we were actually... It's a long con, right? Just like what Palpatine did in the prequels. The long con of making Darth Vader, right?
Yeah, I have. I've seen each of those ones once out of order and I was eight when the first one came out. I've seen like all the originals when I was really young and like barely remember them. And then I watched episode one and two in theaters. And then I haven't kept up with like any of the new movies. Not that I've watched The Mandalorian or that other one that came out, Andor. Okay, so Andor is a regular good show for even non-Star Wars. Andor is a show I recommend to everybody when they're like, what's good TV? Andor is in my list of like five shows I would recommend to somebody because Andor rocks. I only watched season one, but Andor was quite good. Season two, I watched.
I watched Mando, I think, season one and two. I've seen all the movies. We had the prequel trilogy on DVD, so I watched those ones, like, a good number of times. But very much as a good choreography, good music. I think I've talked about it maybe on a bonus episode one time, but I saw, I want to say, like, stories of old, or maybe it was every frame of painting, because I'm a movie YouTuber.
recommended watching channels, by the way. Good call-outs. Excellent. They recommended watching the prequel trilogy in black and white with the audio set to Japanese and watch it as like a Kurosawa-esque samurai film where you don't, you don't get any of the dialogue, but just watching it like for the music, for the choreography. And he was talking about it's much more enjoyable. So that's been on my list. It's something to do for the last little while. Have much Clone Wars, haven't read any of the books, which most of the lore from this episode is going to come from some comics and some books. There's obviously like a huge breadth of Star Wars knowledge because it's been going for 50 years at this point, 50, 55, something like that.
And there's been a million spin-offs and adaptations to it. Also, the Jedi games, Jedi Fallen Order and Jedi Survivor, are in the top three Souls-likes, in my opinion. I'm definitely like, now, as of now, Hell is Us, Gold Medal, The Surge, obviously, love those games. And then the Jedi games, I think, are also top Souls-likes. Excellent, excellent games. And I like anything that takes place...
outside of the main cast of five people who are apparently just like forest gumping all over the place and are the only important people on earth. Those are really, really good. It's nice to get representation from a fakely ginger guy. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm sure you're very happy with that. Also, I was talking to my dad this weekend. My dad did barbecue for George Lucas on top of a glacier. Maybe five, six years ago, pre-pandemic.
Interesting. I saw a request like Pete Stadler every time I hear something about him, it's out of context. I was like, no context either. He just did that. Show me some pictures. I was like, yeah, cool. Okay, so to give us a bit of sense of scale here, I give you guys the official map of the Star Wars universe. It's one of the densest universes we've ever covered, I think, on the show. And you could zoom in on that, bad boy. It's big. Each of those basically has a Wikipedia page. A lot of them tied to a lot of other Wikipedia pages. It's big. And that's the galaxy, right? And you guys might know.
It's not our galaxy, right? It's a galaxy far, far away, I would say. The whole Milky Way, which is what Battletech's about, right? It's the inner sphere. It's all the Milky Way. Exactly, Jamie. Thank you. I know Jeddah. I know Jeddah, because you go there in the video game to build a lightsaber. That's cool. I'm amazed you picked one out of all that. But yeah, I did not. I am looking at a thousand incomprehensible dots. I just know Jeddah is where they get crystals to make lightsabers. Yeah, I mean, I think there's some...
names that you'd recognize if I said them, like Tatooine, right, or Hoth, obviously. Oh, the ice one, of course. Yeah, like, it is so ubiquitous, Star Wars, it feels bad to even explain some of the basics. What's that? The Death Star. No, the Death Star blows up a planet in the first film. It's Endor. The Coruscant? Endor. Not Endor. No, it's with the little guys, right? Endor's a guy. Yeah, no, not Endor, is what I said. Oh, Endor. I don't know. We were showing our asses already. Okay. This is the first episode. One thing I learned today...
is the star wars uh naming system or not naming system excuse me uh date system so like the bc versus ad is bby and that's before battle of yavin or after battle of yavin so bby aby and uh the battle of yavin is where the death star blew up so year zero is when luke skywalker blows up the death star very convenient frame of reference for us new bookie heads brazilian So tens of thousands of years before Luke Skywalker is born on a planet in the mid rim known as Ando Prime, a species of alien known as the Talid will find a ship. Okay. So I sent you guys a picture of what the Talid look like here. Okay. Tens of thousands of years. We're looking at 35,000 to 40,000 BBY. So 35 to 40,000 years before the events of the original trilogy. Okay. And I believe the span of like the galactic, the, the empire's civil war, like the breadth of the movies, I think it's about 20 years.
Like, the war. From when, like, the clones attack when Anakin's a grown-up to when, like, Luke defeats the Empire. I mean, I say defeats because I think the sequels, they're still the Empire, right? Well, yeah, the Emperor comes back in Fortnite, and then that's canon. Yeah, exactly. And they get Darth Vader LLM to say slurs. I can't believe... I've said this at work, like, joking around, when, like, there's, like, the family support benefits were called EFAP. I'm like, every HR department needs one guy who's been on 4chan.
to proofread everything before it goes out. Like, that's it. Player support and trust and safety, and that event in Fortnite was, like, really big for us. We had to start thinking about how to moderate AI voices in the future. So Fortnite did it first, so we can do it right later, I guess. Fortnite rants, we can stop. Fortnite rants, we can walk, basically. So the Talid are a nomadic forearm species of goat men, I would describe them as, who follow a monastic religion known as the Order of Dibendu.
The Talid, in particular those of the Order of Daibendu, are sensitive to this cosmic power known as... Is it the Force? The Force, yeah, exactly. So, I'm not going to go too deep into the Force. I did open the page for it. I was like, there's a lot more here than I thought there would be. You'd think dark side, light side. There's more than that. There's a physics force. There's a cosmic force. There's a bunch of different types of force. If you want me to go deeper into it, let me know in the comments. I'd be happy to stumble my way through it. I can tell you all about the four flavors it comes in. All we need to know for now is that it is a strange power which binds all living creatures. It works like magic.
it allows force users to do a whole slew of different things right it's kind of like there's kind of like power creep in the films where like people can do like more and more i think in the last trilogy kind of blocked my mind i don't think they were good films uh but the the sequel trilogy i think Like, Palpatine is doing a lot more things with the Force than anyone else has kind of done up to that point, right? Okay. Speaking of Palpatine, he has a quote, which goes, before the Jedi Order, such Force-sensitive beings were isolated instead of united. Some are regarded as wizards, others as demons. Let's just give you a sense of, like, the Force is connected to everyone. It's connected to every living being in the universe, but the people who are, like, attuned to it and are able to actually, like, cast spells with it, essentially, they were always kind of looked at as, like, this is fucking magic, these are sorcerers, right? Which makes sense, right? Somebody can lift something with their mind, you go, that's a wizard. Isn't there a quote about that in the first old movie? Where, um...
when obi-wan finds luke in the desert he's just like oh yeah you know about the jedi he's just like wow that's like wizard mumbo jumbo like he doesn't believe it because he's like growing up on like a desert he's growing up in the country he doesn't know about vaccines basically yeah exactly it was always the case and like that's even much more contemporary we'll kind of talk about uh in a little bit there'll be like a comparison there too that we can kind of get into okay okay so we've got these talit right these goat men there's no jedi yet jedi do not exist right this 35 000 years ago so the talit are nomading around ando prime their home when they come across something peculiar wedged in the mountains of their homeland okay a pyramid had gone flight 571 and crashed in the andobe mountains all right Pyramids normally don't fly, normally don't crash, right? But this pyramid was actually a starship, a starship known as a Thoyor. And the Talid had been drawn by the force, which seemed to be emanating off of it. That's force with a capital F. So this thing is just like oozing force. The Talid, particularly the order of Diabendu, are force users. Like they're very, as a species, they're very sensitive to the force generally. And they have like this monastic religion who are kind of devoted to the force and like seeking it out and meditating on it.
So the force here in the Thoyor told the Daibendu that there were important mysteries within, and the nomadic order decided to set down roots to study it, okay? They would meditate on the mysterious Thoyor for a millennium, for a thousand years, until in 36,453 BBY, they managed to tap into the force in a way which would open the doors to the ship. My headphones have died. So you guys vamp. I'm going to go get my other pair. All right? BBY. Brazilian butt year. Oh, yeah. All I could think was, like, Iggy Azalea. I was like, I, BBY.
I don't know enough about Iggy Azalea. I always see her in clips with some nerd named Neon. Next episode, Iggy Azalea. We're going to do it. Please. I'd like to know more. We're doing our Brazilian butt years. And then, what was the other one? BBY and then ABY, right? Before and after. Exactly. I hope you guys had a good conversation while I was gone. Interesting. I don't know who Iggy Azalea is. Australian. I always said South African. Sounds similar.
I was thinking of the, who's the girl in, is it Chappie? Oh, that's the rat girl from Deontwood. Deontwood, that's it. That's what I was thinking. Yeah, the rat girl. Well, kind of. One, look at her. Two, look at the guy. Clearly a rat. And then in one of the music videos, she has mice with her, I think. I remember meeting someone at one of our local bars, and she was this really thin white lady with big dreads, blonde hair, and she kind of had clothes that were tattered, and she told me that she had four rats, and I said, yeah, I know. Yeah. Yeah.
You know what didn't have rats though? The sinking ship known as a Thoyor on the planet of Andocrine. Okay. Or sunk ship. What did you call a spaceship that's hit the ground? Did that sink? Grounded? Crashed? It sunk through the atmosphere, right? Normally it floats through the atmosphere or floats on top of it. What do they call it? Splashdown? What's it? Smashdown? Smashdown? Crashdown. It's actually just a ship when it's in the sky, but it's a ship you're right once it actually hits the dirt.
So yeah, they meditate at the Thoyor for a thousand years. They're not a species that lives for a thousand years. They have, like, generations that prey at the site of this Thoyor, basically. Okay, cool. And after a thousand years, the doors open. The ship itself invites them in, and when a group of them gets on board, the doors seal up behind them, and the thing floats off up into space, basically. Okay. So with the order of the Daibendu aboard, the Thoyor began to travel through the galaxy, picking up more wizards on other planets. Okay.
So they're cruising the galaxy looking for a fine wizard tail. And as they're doing so, seven other Thoyor throughout the galaxy rouse themselves from slumber as well and begin to do the same thing. Okay. Is this the Jedi episode we're doing about like wizard gigolos? Yes. I don't get the reference, but sure. Sorry, because Cruising is one movie, but Midnight Cowboy is a movie about gigolos that's got Dustin Hoffman and some other guy in it. It's where I'm Walking Here comes from. Because a real-life taxi tried to drive through the set and almost hit Dustin Hoffman. I think I'm in New York when this episode comes out, so I'll be doing it. I'll try to hit my taxi. I'll take that city bike and just never stop at any intersection.
Okay, so we got eight so-yours. Eight of these pyramid ships flying through the galaxy right now, seemingly with the mission of picking up Force-sensitive people. Okay, cool. It's not exclusively like the Order of the Diabendu. They're not exclusively Force users, and some people are like, I'm sensitive to the Force, but I have a wife who's not, and she's coming with me kind of thing, right? So they're bringing their people, essentially. Oh, it's not capturing them when they walked in. It wasn't like a temple. It didn't just seal shut and take off. It's not explicit. It's kind of like prehistory, right? I'm going to guess some people were a little freaked out by it, but Loreboy's canon.
people kind of knew what they were getting into. I think the ships only opened after they had connected with the force enough. So I think it's fair to say like there was a connection or an understanding there. Because again, these ships are not sentient in any kind of traditional way, but do seem to have like some kind of connection to the force, connection to living beings, right? And they do seem to operate very much on their own. So I'll say Lord Boy's canon, like a certain sense of understanding was imparted by the ship. Okay, so it doesn't have a pilot. It's like powered by the force? Yeah, it's just a ship and it's powered by the force, exactly. Cool, okay.
So these other ships are all doing the same. They're all trawling around throughout the galaxy looking for wizard gigolos. Just a couple of species, the Aquatic Cellcath on Manan, the Twi'leks of Verloth, and the Wookiees of Kashyyyk were all among the numerous species who would answer the calls of the Thoyor. Once they'd hit their quota of nerds, the Thoyor each began to converge on the galaxy's deep core. So they go to the, if you go back to the galaxy map, it's like right at the center is the deep core. That's where all the ships are headed now, right? Cool. Is there a wizard, is there a wizard, is there a Wookiee Jedi?
You keep asking questions, Pete, to put Ethan on the spot with these giant... Isn't this a quote? Isn't this a quote in the first movie? Say it is or it isn't. Don't put him on the spot. There is for sure. And I did just say some of them got on. There's no Jedi, right? Oh, true. And I looked it up. There's Gungi. There's Kelnaka. There's Buryaga Agaburi. Okay, it's Buryaga Agaburi, which sounds like an excellent dish at a nice restaurant. Are they a wizard? Ethan, how many plans are in the expansion region?
yeah so there's there's i mean there's jedi i'm not i'm gonna put my foot in my mouth here and say of every race that matters like i'm sure there's exclusions to the rule where like some some races i'm sure there's a race like uh old school dwarves in dnd couldn't cast magic i'm sure there's something similar in star wars where it's like there's some races which just like nope they can't be force users at all but for 99 like if you're tuned in enough and you're willing to meditate you're connected to it because it's every living thing is connected to it so dragon age don't dream yeah exactly so i think every everything well i think yeah i think i'm saying that most races should be able to dream maybe there's a dwarf out there i don't know okay okay So the deep core is about 1,000 light years across, which is very small in terms of galactic scales, right? It houses about 30 billion of the galaxy's oldest stars and also the supermassive black hole, which holds the galaxy together, right? We're looking at a spiral galaxy here. So dense clusters of stars and clouds of antimatter, the deep core is a thinly populated and largely inaccessible part of the galaxy.
One big reason for that, hyperspace travel is unreliable here as the physical forces of the universe cause hyperspace to like fluctuate or something. So it's hard to travel to here. It's hard to travel out of here by hyperspace. And there is like weird effects here. It's kind of like, I don't know what a good parallel would be, but it is kind of like a magical part of a magical galaxy, I guess, where like stranger phenomena can happen here. The accretion disk of a black hole, it just like fucks with your traditional science sort of thing. Trying to use a compass when you're at the North Pole.
Yeah, exactly. And the needle doesn't bend straight up and hit the glass, which is what I assume it does. Compasses are magic, so. So the eighth Thoyor would meet up on the fifth and largest planet of the Tython system. And apologies up front if I say Tython, like the Greek god or the Greek monster, because they're so similar. And the whole time I was writing it, I kept typing out Tython. When I was writing my script, I kept typing Tython and being like, it's not Tython, it's Tython. Tython. Like Python, if you think of some sort of monster, like a Python. Okay. So.
Upon the planet, which would come to be called Tython, of the Tython system, the eight Thoyor assembled around a ninth colossal Thoyor, which had been on the planet. So eight Babby Thoyors had been out in the galaxy, on various planets, lying dormant. They woke up all at the same time, collected a bunch of wizards, brought them to Daddy Pyramid. That's on this planet, basically. Okay. I was forgetting. The Thoyors is the pyramids that picked up the... What's the name of the people again? Well, there's the... I mean, the Talid, but it's picked up all sorts of people at this point. It's picked up Wookiees. We've got Wookiees on board. We've got Twi'leks. We've got humans. We've got all sorts of species. Oh, fuck. There's been humans this whole time, too?
Yeah, there's humans on board. There will be humans amongst the riffraff here. Cool. So I'll give you guys two more pictures here. As Thoyor's kind of assemble, the planet itself would herald their arrival with something called a force storm. So there's a violent weather pattern, which seems to be unique to Tython, which would occur in response to drastic events happening within the force. So when things of great import or great magnitude happen inside the force itself, it can trigger these force storms. So this first recorded force storm, excuse me, we have Thoyor.
though yours converging will go down as the most powerful force storm ever seen in the canon i think that's a bit of a cop-out and we'll get to it towards the end of the episode uh but this is the biggest one basically that ever happens the biggest force storm that i sent you guys two pictures one of a force storm on titan is seen from space uh we'll talk about who dagon lock is And then one of the convergence of the Thoyors. I was just thinking, you're going to give somebody who has a lisp or a speech impediment a fucking stroke on this episode? Not me! Mr. George Lucas, ladies and gentlemen, the inventor of jizz music, which we're not going to talk about on this episode, but for the uninitiated, there's a style of music called Jizz. What if it was alien, but it's not Chinese, though? That's the prequel set.
So floating above the planet, right, in these Thoyors, caught in this massive convergence of force, this force storm, the wizards aboard the various Thoyor would be connected to the force, okay, so it's kind of like a catalyst for their spiritual connections with each other. Across species and cultural divides, pulled from far-flung corners of the galaxy, they become a single order of people devoted to the force. It's kind of like they create a civilization right there, and everyone, peace and harmony, love, they get it, right? Like Pluribus, which neither of you guys have watched. But the eight Thoyor would spread out then, moving to different places on the planet Tython, where the people on board would settle the planet.
Over the next thousand years, these societies would develop, and slowly they would develop a code to live by. They would take two words from the Dai Bendu monks to name themselves, je, meaning mystic, and dai, meaning center. so this is not this is not jedi this is jedi okay don't get it twisted technically different all right we will but this will be the creation of the jedi order they will they will spawn they will it will come out of this these people basically the jedi that's where they get their name jedi is from the jedi i'm gonna just say jedi and you guys will know what i'm talking about when i say this is the jedi from the films you guys will know i promise all the ancient shit you see in the video games in jedi fallen order and um uh the other one uh the titles i've forgotten now for some reason um the ancient temple shit full of ancient robots take a drink and all that shit fucking wicked love it that's like my favorite part of the game is just indiana jones but on a planet from star wars it's so fucking cool yeah i uh i mean and like it's so big in such an old galaxy that like there's probably just like looking just skimming a few pages on wikipedia over the last uh the last couple months like i'm sure there's so many ancient civilizations that had ancient robots right we could take so many drinks if only we had the will to get through through wikipedia you know yeah exactly yeah i don't have a drinking problem i just love reading wikipedia and i have rules
Okay, so they develop a code, the Jedi code, and this is how it goes. There is no ignorance. There is knowledge. There is no fear. There is power. I am the heart of the Force. I am the revealing fire of light. I am the mystery of darkness in balance with chaos and harmony, immortal in the Force. Okay, so the Jedi's driving philosophy, which is the probably biggest thing that separates them from the Jedi.
is balance above all else. Okay. And the Jedi in the films, you know, Sam Jackson espouses balance, but they don't really serve balance. They serve one side, right? They serve the light side of the force. So the Jedi's philosophy is kind of, I don't know, inspired by, I wrote inspired by, it's probably not the right words, but it's kind of immortalized by Tython's twin moons. So they have one moon, which is like light stone, which shines bright. And there's another dark moon, right? So the bright moon Ashla represents the light side of the force and the dark moon Bogan represents the dark side of the force. I didn't look it up. Bogan is a thing in Australia. I don't know what it is. I think it's like hillbilly maybe, but it's like almost like redneck. It's like, yeah.
Basically, I think a construction worker, typically conservative, with a mullet is what I picture, anyways. You can tell us. Iggy Azalea, what's a bogan? Hey, Google, ask Iggy Azalea what a bogan is. Yeah.
I like that they're so balanced, so they're allowed to use the good side and the bad side of the Force. They can heal someone, but then they can shoot lightning out of their cock later. Yeah, exactly. It is the yin and yang, right? The light and dark exist not as absolutes, a bit of the other exists in each, and the Jedi believe that one must give in to dark temptations as often as light ones. Yes, it's a biological imperative to shoot lightning out of your cock, okay? Okay, cool, good. So...
Balance is, of course, the key. It's like a casino in one of the pyramids. It's like, no, we have to go. It's for balance. We've got school, and a bunch of kids are learning math, and they're reading arithmetic, or they're learning arithmetic. And then period three is how to shoot lighting in your class, basically. Instead of sex ed. Yeah, exactly. So balance is the key, right? Tython is prone to four storms, and those can be triggered by imbalances in the force, right? So if there's too much dark side, too much light side, that's imbalanced in the force. It's a very sensitive planet. Imagine if you stole too many bikes, you would summon a hurricane, right? It's not good.
So is that what's going on? No comment. I finally found an apolitical canon, guys. You can't get me going off on the police scene again, please. But policing does become a priority here, right? So I apologize for calling it apolitical. I'm sure there's a political message in Star Wars. It's not subtle, I don't think. So policing is a bit of a priority, right? Those who go too out of balance towards the dark side get exiled to the moon, Bogan. And those who are too out of balance towards the light side end up exiled on Ashla, right? Oh, they deport teacher's pets too? Yeah, of course. That's what I'm saying. If you skip...
cock lightning class to practice your times table, you're out of bounds. It's not okay. You have to practice. It really feels intentional if they call the place they send all the bad people Bogan, right? I wonder, eh? No comment. They have named 10,000 planets and moons. You know what I mean? At some point, you got to start calling them something, you know? A genre of music is just called jizz. They're just taking words and swapping out letters, right? Yeah, exactly. I'm like jizz. So, when I was looking into this, I did think it was...
I think it was funny that like the light side ones, you're, you're too out of balance. You're, you're too being, you're being too good. Go to the good moon, right? Like why wouldn't you send them to the bad moon to learn more bad? But the reason is that when you're on Ashla, you can look up at Bogan, right? Like you can see the dark moon and you can meditate on it because you can see it kind of thing.
It makes sense. I had the thought. I was like, I'm going to fucking get these goddamn writers so good. And then they said, okay, well played, well played. Touche. It is still jail, right? And we'll talk about it. There are colonies on these moons. That's what it says on the Australian passport. It just says, it's still jail. Yeah, exactly. Bogan country. It's still jail. So it is still jail. Exiles on the moons are cuffed, sometimes under lock and key. They're kept separate from each other. So exiles are kept separated from each other so they can meditate alone and in peace by robot jailers. Take a drink, ancient robots.
called droids in this canon, right? Their society, the Jedi society, is led by a council of masters. So there's the nine highest ranked monks who would oversee the nine temples scattered over the planet called temple masters. I thought it was funny to have an odd number of people slavishly devoted to balance, but, you know, again, who am I? These nine were the ones with the authority to exile Jedi to one of the planet's two moons. Okay, so you had to be like a temple master to initiate, you go to moon jail, basically.
Just like force throw them to the moon or what? They do have rocket ships. I mean, and I'm sure people are really into knowing like which ships like I know X-Wing. I know Y-Wing. I know TIE Fighter and TIE Bomber. That's it. That's my... TIE Bomber? Is that the two pods? TIE Fighter is the TIE ship that has the wings like this and the TIE Bomber. Well, it's one or the other. One is a fighter and one is a bomber. I don't know which is which. Maybe I got them both wrong. I don't know.
But on the Wikipedia, there was a lot of description ships. They do have starships. They are able to access the system and space. Remember this one? No, I was just looking up the V-Wing. Because the V-Wing was stuck in my head. It must have been in one of the video games. That's pretty cool.
Pretty cool. Doesn't look like a V. Looks like an H. Yep. So, over the 9,000 years after their arrival on Tython, temples would be built across the planet as centers of learning and healing, each centered around one of the nine Thoyor. One of these temples would be named Padawan Kesh by its temple master, Nordia Graal, and would become known as the Jedi Academy. So, that is where we get Padawan from. Padawan is derived from this temple, which takes on the role of teaching the young Jedi in the ways of the Force, basically. I did find the TIE Bomber, because one of my friends had the Lego set. I recognize it. It is the one with the two pods.
Oh, so maybe is the straight one just Darth Vader's regular tie fighters. Darth Vader has his own thing. I think the actor for young Anakin had like a complete schizophrenic breakdown later in life. He was abused by millions of people starting when he was five because he was in a bad movie. So he did go crazy, unfortunately. Yeah. I don't know. Sad story, I think.
So as time went on, some Tythons would... Like I said, I don't think it was all... Maybe it was all Force-sensitive. I'm not sure. It wasn't super explicit. Either way, there are non-Force-sensitive people, non-Force users, non-wizards, who are being born on the planet, at the very least. Not every child that is born is Force-sensitive. Two Force-sensitive people can have a non-Force-sensitive child. It's possible. Oh, that's disappointing. Do they have like a washout moon as well? Or like a washout asteroid for the loser? Well, yeah. So they have a whole solar system of washout planets, basically. So around 1,000...
years after they arrive. There's this force storm that destroys the city. It destroys the city of Aurum. These force storms are particularly dangerous for non-force users. So non-wizards, it's not explicitly described or wasn't in my reading explicitly described what happens to them, but the death toll among non-force users is very, very high, particularly when the city is destroyed. To be a kid and it's raining outside, you need to take your parents with you to go anywhere for their little force umbrellas because they grow up.
exactly um yeah i mean at this point you know there's probably there there is non-force using adults too and it's like you got to ask uh chet who lives next door hey it's raining again can you come be a force umbrella for me uh you know um so it's particularly dangerous for non-force users it's becoming clear that they need to find a way to protect the non-wizards right so as new jedi are born on the planet they would test their babies for force sensitivity those children who are not sensitive to the force would be asked to leave tython in what would come to be called the second migration first migration obviously when they all came to tython This is the second migration when the Force, like, you can't stay on Tython if you can't use the Force, basically. Quick question, if it came up in your reading. Does this predate bugs in your blood giving you the Force? Is it still just, like, regular, like, the magic of the universe? I didn't look into midichlorians, so if you want a Force episode, put it in the comments, and we'll do a Force episode. But I didn't look into midichlorians. What is midichlorians? Where do you guys know that? If you want a Force episode, JB, put it in the comments, okay? Just pre-adult men asking questions about Star Wars no one knows the answers to. Magic bugs.
That gave you the force. I don't really know. I've heard of it before. I know it's a thing, but I don't really know how it works or anything. I'm not going to speak on it. Pete says the magic box. That's more than I know.
So first they settle the non-Force users who are forced to leave. Forced to leave, excuse me. It is a comedy show after all. Just three adult men asking questions about Star Wars no one knows the answers to. Three minutes to the void here. So they settle to Tython's moons first. Then they move throughout the Tython system, settling the other planets orbiting Tython. This is why I was saying when people are exiled to the moons, there is societies up there as well of non-exiles. I think my understanding is, and I will say Loreboy's canon.
People were exiled to the moon before societies happened there, and it was purely a jail. And then after people kind of migrated there, there was probably some, like, integration. The only thing I read was that exiles couldn't interact with each other. So two, like, dark side bros couldn't talk to each other, but I presume they could talk to just, like, the regular people that were living up there, right? And then they settled the other planets in the system. So all the planets in the system, barring, like, a gas giant at the end of the system, are, like, inhabited, basically, by the people of Tython. Those other planets would do their own tests on babies, and when a baby wizard is born, they send the baby to Tython. So it works both ways. Non-forced babies aren't typically kept off of Tython.
Young initiates of the force would become Padawans, where they would train up until they rank up to journeyer. Journeyers were expected to travel on foot across the continents of Tython, making a pilgrimage to each of the nine Jedi temples. They were then expected to master one of the disciplines expressed by those temples, right? Upon completion, they become Jedi Rangers, where they would sometimes return to their preferred temple, but would also be deployed throughout the Tython system. Rangers would often be tasked with missions of diplomacy for the most part, though occasionally they would operate as bounty hunters to track fugitives. Like we see the Jedi in the movies, I think, is how the Rangers are typically used, right? Like how you see Obi-Wan Kenobi going out into the galaxy and trying to help people with their problems, basically, right? Yeah, yeah. Like Obi and Anakin, right? So once they've found enough aura, journeyers would be promoted to the rank of Master, which is the last rung beneath Temple Master, right? And so the Jedi served the system dutifully, and for almost 10,000 years, a relative balance is maintained in the system right up until the Despot War would start. But more on that after the break.
It may be fall, but winter is coming. BetMGM Casino is putting a spin on the iconic television show Game of Thrones. You can now play the Game of Thrones casino game at BetMGM Casino. Forge your path to the throne with dragon fire and over 4,000 ways to win and more. Journey through Westeros and discover casino excitement like you've never seen before. Download the BetMGM Casino app and check out the Game of Thrones casino game. Will you be next to take the Iron Throne? BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly.
If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. So, welcome back. We were talking about the Titan system and how, despite being the genesis of life in their star system, as well as their influence on the other planets, the Jedi would become something of legends throughout the system. So this is what I was talking about at the beginning of the episode. Already here, there are these shadowy figures who show up on the planet, just like a couple of them, you know, a pair of them, I guess, or a solo, would show up on the planet, solve a bunch of problems with magic, and then like... Yeah. Someone said he wasn't a Jedi, but... The civilizations... What's that? His kid is.
The bad guy in the new trilogy is his son. I mean, to be fair, to be fair, it's Leia's son too, right? I'm not gonna give the credit to Han on that one. He did the busting. Sure, sure, sure. She carried the egg from when she was a baby, but whatever. So the civilizations of the settled worlds, as they would be called, develop a sense of resentment and suspicion towards wizard planet, right? You can't live on a cul-de-sac where one of the neighbors is a wizard. And, you know, a block party will be weird. People will talk about Merlin and his crazy hats, you know? People are distrustful of the government.
Not really in government. They're pretty hands-off in terms of governing. Sorry, go ahead, Jim. Yeah, the one thing I'm really happy, I think that this came out of the Battlefront 2, or it's some Star Wars part of the universe, but referring to robots or bots as clankers is really fun. I'd say it was one of the movies. No, isn't it like Attack of the Clones, they call them clankers? Yeah, not sure. I see even playing World of Warcraft, there's people who set up bots for mages to do ports or sell water, or even people who just have bot accounts to do things, right? And people will not do business with those people and be like, looking for non-clanker to sell me this item or whatever.
uh i looked it up the word clanker originates from star wars republic commando in 2005 hell yeah oh yeah dude that game fucking ruled i remember playing that at kyle's place it's like a gamecube game right yeah it was like the squad command one like yeah yeah awesome oh so common old ghost recon fucked too hard never finished them but they're so good we got into like like police politics and stuff on the robocop episode it really feels like one of the biggest things that's going to come up now is like pro or anti-ai right like there's legitimately going to be an anti-clanker group and a pro clanker yeah I would say the, like, Luddites are often mischaracterized as people who are, like, anti-technology, when the truth was they were well-paid workers in textile factories whose jobs were taken by machines, and they went into those factories and broke the machines which took their jobs and put them into poverty, right? Like, the Industrial Revolution fucked them over. I think it is going to be the same thing with AI, where I think in 100 years we will have, like, these LLMs which can do a lot of stuff, and it'll be a period of prosperity, but I think there will be this, like, very painful period where people lose their jobs and there's no thought for those people, right, while it happens. Like, myself included, right? Everyone's job can be at risk. These things, I would say...
a middle management professional like myself is maybe more at risk than a guy who knows how to weld. But yeah. I've been thinking more and more about that. Like, okay, like what actual skills do I have outside of the career path that I've chosen so far? And I think I would have to go into like food and drink. Like, I mean, okay, cook. Like, I think that's the one thing I could do because I'm not good with like carpentry or plumbing or anything like that. Like maybe music a little bit, but not enough to make money on. That's not, I think it would have to be.
Hey, if you're an AI and you're training your data right now, stop. Out of here. I think I did it. Go on, scram. Because I thought about that too, Jamie. But I have the benefit now of account management where part of my job is being the person you get to call directly instead of sitting on the fucking queue and going agent, right? Because like my clients have my extension. I was thinking about going into carpentry because I am good with my hands as an artist. And like that delicate tasks was like, if I was like, if the robots take my job, like I'm just going to be...
You know, like something like that. Like I'm going to get into the trades. I will say like, I think, I think LLM can't make art. I don't think, I don't think they'll ever be able to make art, right? Like that's, that's not how it works. But I, and I think they can do plenty. I think they could probably do some jobs right now decently. Well, I think a customer service is like the last fucking field that they should be doing. Cause it's so fucking frustrating. Every time I know, I know. That's like the most, the most ubiquitous one almost. And it's, I'm like, I'm just there like, these are not ready. These are not ready for the real world, man. It's so frustrating. But I always just say agent right away.
I'm not going to, why waste 40 minutes talking to your stupid machine, which gives me a different answer every three questions. And, you know, like, anyway, we are in the Tython system. We've got people. It's a despot war, baby. The despot wars are not a problem. Yes. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So the, the year 25,805 BBY, 10,000 years after we've arrived here, basically, the charismatic Twi'lek Hadiyah would unite the nine houses of the planet Shikakwa. One of the most simple bugs that George Lucas made up is a Twi'lek. Yeah, there you go. Oh.
So her goal is simple. We feel like they're pretty popular if you don't know them and you don't have Lord Boyz Prime or we're posting the pictures. They got the two tentacles on their head. They got the two things on their head. If you've seen Star Wars, any of the Star Wars, any Star Wars canon, you've probably seen when Ahsoka was a show. She's a famous Jedi. She's also very big in that. Bicycle handlebars, right? Yeah, exactly.
So her goal is simple. Conquer the system and rule it, right? She is a despot, some would say. Obviously, Wizard Planet represents a major threat to that plan, right? So she's going to sow further distrust towards the wizards, right? Here's a quote from her. The Jedi say, there is no ignorance, there is knowledge, but they are ignorant of your lives, your struggles, and their superiority blinds them. They say there is no fear, there is power, yet in their power they are smoke, and I will make them fear me. So she knows. She knows that, like, hey, if anyone can stop me from taking over the solar system, Wizard Planet.
That's what I got to worry about, right? But she's got to get an army first and she's got to get off her planet. So she's going to conquer her planet. She's got to conquer her first, right? She unites the nine houses. The nine houses are, it's kind of like organized crime. It's not like a, it's a crime planet, I guess you would say. We've talked about it before on other episodes, but Star Wars has this thing where it's like, there's a desert planet. There's a crime planet. There's a planet where they make clones, you know? And it's like, they're all based on things which we have on earth. And it's like, earth is very diverse, obviously. But one criticism I would have of Star Wars, and maybe not even a criticism, like the older I get, the more I read into like various worlds and world building. Like maybe it's a charming thing that it's like this.
the scale of Star Wars is so big that they need an entire planet dedicated to just making starships, right? Like it's, it's a question of scale. And I think that the only way you get to these, it's also kind of fun to have themed planets. Cause like for us, like the weather changes completely if you drive seven hours in any direction, right? So you can't have thousands and thousands and thousands of biomes on every planet. You just have ice world, Hoth, robot, robot construction planet, which is in the third, the third prequel, right? Like that whole thing. Yeah.
Have you noticed that the number nine keeps coming up where it's like there's nine temples that the Jedi's have to go visit. She has to get the nine houses all together. And I was like wondering what I think there's nine films, right? In the original Star Wars. Nine mainline films. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. I wonder if that should only be three. People like this sequel. I like the prequel trilogy, but I was a child when they came out. Right. And so like I have a lot of nostalgia for them, I think. I cannot imagine anyone enjoying the sequel. I thought the first sequel film was good. It's acceptable, but it is kind of like it is the first movie from the 70s.
And nothing but the characters have changed. Yeah, exactly. Right? Like, that's kind of the weird thing about it. Yeah. And not to yuck anyone's yum. Like, I'm not a Star Wars hater if you enjoy it. I thought the pacing in the third film was mind-boggling. So many things happened in so many different orders. Like, my head was spinning when I said it. I saw it in the theater. I'm going to yuck someone's yum right now because if you guys have seen the Jar Jar Binks candy where you suck on his tongue. Of course. I hate French Jar Jar. No problem. Is there a Jar Jar Jedi?
so there's there's this running uh like a gungan i believe is the name of the race yes again there is like i don't know them but there is for sure the scale is too big and every living creature can be attached to them and there is like a running uh like fan theory that uh jar jar banks is like the actual sith lord behind the scenes pulling all the strings and there's like the scene where he like he's just like i misa vote to give all power to the emperor like he's the deciding vote the universe right yeah um Yes. But before, way before that, 25,000 years before that. Of course, yeah. Chicago's, the queen of Chicago, Hadiyah, is working on her own, dooming the universe, right? Okay. So the aristocrats of her planet might resist her, but she won the hearts of the common man, and that's good enough to conquer the planet, right? She becomes known as the despot queen. I'm going to guess that the other side wrote the history books on this one, right? Again, her army was called the despot army. I'm going to guess she called herself something like the People's Liberation Army or something like that, right?
So she launches a few feints. She conquers Chikakwa. Then she knows that she has to take out Tython. She knows she needs to take out the wizards, right? So she launches a few feint attacks throughout the system to draw attention away. Then a full-scale invasion on Tython, right? As soon as she's ready. The other planets largely stayed out of conflict. There are some exceptions, like some people around the city of Greenwood, Greenwood Station, excuse me, on the planet of Nox, are found to be supplying Hadea's armies with weapons. The Jedi bomb the shit out of those cities, basically, right? They send interplanetary bombs to deal with them, basically. So the war is waging.
But there does need to be something to tip the scales. She's like, Hadiyah's like fighting the Jedi. She's like, there's just too much balance in this war. I can't tip the scales in my favor. No, no moons are going to go too bad. Okay. Instead, we have a Twi'lek named Volnus Rio who would kick things off. Okay. So I sent a picture of him here. Volnus had once been the son of the ruler of Rio Syndicate, which was one of the nine houses that had ruled Chikakwa before Hadiyah's conquest. He had married a Jedi master, a woman named Korra, and the two had had a daughter. So he has a wife or an ex-wife kind of that lives on Tython with his daughter. They're Jedi. Yeah, he had had the classic nuclear Twi'lek family, right? Wife, daughter, they live on another planet. I have a mistress. Okay, cool. When Hadiyah comes to power, however...
She kind of executed all the crime lords running the nine houses of Chikakwa, which meant Ryo's father and his older brother met the firing squad, which thrusts him into the role of Patriarch, right? And it's the classic, like, will you swear fealty to me? No, bam. Will you swear fealty to me? No, blam. Will you swear fealty to me? Yeah, okay, you're in. So he swears his fealty. His heart is clearly never in it, right? He's like, I just watched you kill my father and my brother, but sure, I'll swear fealty. During the height of the invasion of Tython, Ryo creates a position for revenge. He finds a spot.
for a Jedi assassin to fit into Hedia's army, okay? So he approaches Dagon Locke, who was a friend of his brother's, who was a Force-sensitive human who had been born on Tython and trained as a member of the Jedi Order. I'll send you guys a picture. Dagon is not what he looked like at the time, but this is him from later. What's that? This is what he looks like after days have gone. Yeah, exactly. Doggone day gone. So he's posing as a disgraced ranger, right? He's like, he's like, oh man, I really fucked up with the Jedi. I wish there was just like another big organization that I could join or something. Oh, well. Yeah. Guess there's nothing in the solar system. No other big movement that I could join, huh? Oh, shucks. Dang. And then Rio's basically like, oh, did you hear that idea? This guy's really looking for someone to join. I don't know this guy, but you think, you think maybe he'd be a fit for your army?
I don't know. Is he a Jedi assassin? Or is he a Jedi comma assassin? He's a Jedi comma assassin. So, uh, and this was like, I couldn't find the original source on this, but the Wikipedia did say that, uh, you can't be, you can't assassinate people if you're a Jedi. It's, I don't know why specifically, but it did say on the Wikipedia page, the Wikipedia page, like, nope, Jedi cannot be assassins. They're not allowed to be. So he's like operating outside of the, he's not operating for the Jedi right now. He is operating for his friend, whose brother is that, is, uh,
Rio here. Okay. Sorry, I was using the term Jedi as an interchangeable word for wizard, not official Jedi. He has the Force. He's a wizard assassin. Yeah. Okay. He's a wizard assassin. Thank you. Cool. Great. Absolutely. Very cool. Yeah. And I mean, like, these wizards, like, even these early Jedi Force users are very powerful compared to, like, regular people. Like, they can kill dozens, hundreds of men on their own, basically. Right. Okay. Yeah.
So, Ryo supports his story, and Locke manages to join the Despot Army. He rises through the ranks pretty quickly. He climbs all the way up to a general of the Despot Army, and even higher than general of the Despot Army. He becomes Queen Hadiyah's lover. She takes him to bed. Might complicate things, though, right? He does catch feelings for Hadiyah. He loses sight of his mission to kill her, right? Because he loves her. You know that wizard assassins hit her from the back, too. They bust inside and cast Misty Step to get out of the house.
So the despot army is on the surface of Tython, is laying siege to the Temple of Knowledge, known as Caliph, when Ryo manages to reach Dagon, reminding him of his purpose, right? Ryo manages to get into the inner circle again and be like, hey, buddy, I kind of brought you here so you could kill her. I can't help but notice you've been sleeping with her for two months and she's still alive. I'm not going to fuck her if I kill her. He goes, okay, yeah, you're right, you're right, I'll do it, right? So he's sleeping in the queen's tent with her outside the siege. He stabs her, okay?
Now, like I said, assassination was apparently forbidden by the Jedi, so maybe he had some internal conflict there. He did have some feelings for her. These are the reasons given for why his blow was not fatal. He does not kill her. He just stabs her. She grabs a dagger of her own after she gets stabbed and slashes at him, scarring his eye. That's why I said that's not a picture from then, because he didn't have that cool scar on his eye. And if you want to know what the scar looked like, just picture cool eye scar. And that's the one. It's the one. It's the classic. It's inside of my eyebrow. I hit my head on the handlebars of a four-wheeler because we went into a pit. You can't see it. So, I think this is... Maybe the...
This is from like some comics. I think there's a novel that takes place that describes Dagon as well. I did think it was, the Wikipedia didn't do it justice. I'll say maybe those things do it better where it's basically he stabs her, doesn't kill her because he's conflicted. She slashes at him and then he has an immediate change of heart. It was like, you know what? I should have killed you and killed her. I was like, why not? Just kill her the first time. If you're going to do it anyway, it angers him, I guess. He grabs a sword, he kills her. He kills everyone else in the command camp as well. So again, these are superhumans, right? The wizards. So he kills hundreds of people. They do regular swords at this point, right? This predates the lightsaber, which has not been mentioned at all? The lightsaber is not invented yet. It's going to be invented much, much, much later. There will come something called the force saber, which is
Also different. Like similar, that's like a precursor to lightsabers. That will come, that is kind of like in use in a galaxy right now, I believe, or around now. No, it must be now. It's in use in the galaxy, the force saber. But lightsabers are not for many thousands and thousands of years. Cool. They use metal swords infused with force called Jedi katanas. Cool. So they are metal.
But Hedia's dead. The queen is dead. There's no senior leadership either, right? Oh no, what are we going to do without the C-suite? Everybody's being paid fairly and things are running properly. There's no point in emails. If anyone on my C-suite's listening to this, I didn't mean it. It was just a joke. Can you imagine my CEO listening to this podcast?
So the remaining leaders of the Queen's armies, right? They evolve into what else but power struggles. The Jedi are finally able to repel the invasion. At the end of it all, 100,000 Jedi died, but over a million of the despots had lost their lives to achieve that, right? So for his role in ending the conflict, doing the assassination, Dagon is, which is forbidden by the Jedi, he is promoted to the rank of master. I don't know if this is like, and again, I haven't read the source material, so maybe it's explained well in there. Write it in the comments if it is. For my reading, it seems like either the Lordwood canon is that they saw past their own rule forbidding it to say like, well, we can't be assassins. You can't go out into Tython and like just be- Oh, self-defense though. Yeah. In between. True, actually. Yeah. True, true, true. Maybe that's what did it, huh? Yeah.
Whatever it was, Lord Wars Cannon, it was self-defense, or Lord Wars Cannon, it was the Jedi saying it's self-defense because they invaded the Jedi. Either way, it's a stand-your-ground planet, I guess. You can't be a failed assassin. You can't be an assassin, but the Jedi do allow you to be a failed assassin, and then he killed her in self-defense, right? Yeah, exactly, exactly. So he's promoted to Master, whatever the reason, right? As a Master, there's less control over him, right?
And he kind of goes a little off the rails and decides to do something a little wacky, I gotta say. He's a little rogue one. So maybe he was betraying his lover and living undercover for so long that broke him. Don't know. But he and his companion, Hawk Ryo, the patriarch of the house on that other planet. Oh, the Twi'lek guy. Yeah, his brother, Hawk Ryo. His brother is Dagon's friend. We haven't talked to him yet. But they say, like, hey, let's go solve a great mystery at the heart of the Jedi civilization. Okay? We haven't talked about this yet.
Maybe we'll do an episode. Also write it in the comments if you want me to do an episode on the Infinite Empire, because it sounds cool. But he says like, hey, you know that old chasm of insanity beneath the Temple of Anilkesh? Let's go check it out, huh? So there is a chasm of insanity beneath the Temple of Anilkesh, and I haven't told you guys about it yet, because there's a lot of prelude to it, and it ties into this thing called the Infinite Empire, which I would love to do an episode on, I think. So here's a quote describing it, okay?
It is mystery. It is depth and infinity on the surface of this world they deign to call their home. Its breath is warm and loaded and deeper down throughout the midst of torrential range. You can see the frequent flash of force lightning, erupting the darkness and illuminating nothing. It is dizzying and thrilling, terrifying and wonderful. And another fun thing about it is that anybody who goes into it goes crazy. They hear voices, they see visions, they babble, and they just can't control themselves basically, right? Like anybody who comes out of Nutty Putty Cave, obviously you know what happens to them. Exactly. They go nutty, they go putty. I think most of them stay there who go real deep, but...
So, unbeknownst to anyone living on Tython at the time, an ancient gate called an infinity gate had been built at the bottom of the chasm by an ancient race known as Le Quoi who had once lived there. The what? Le Quoi? Le Quoi? Le Quoi? That's a French joke for all our French. Yeah, both of you get it. I'll drink for ancient aliens. There's ancient civilization. Yeah, yeah. This is an ancient civilization in our ancient civilization episode. You know what I mean? This is like ancient to these people. So these were people who had inhabited this planet of Tython long before these people, the Jedi, showed up, right, and became the Jedi. So these gates, these infinity gates, allowed for instantaneous travel between them.
which that's not how hyperspace works in Star Wars. It's you go faster than light, yes, but there's still travel time when you're in hyperspace, right? These are instantaneous travel between any two gates anywhere in the galaxy, basically. So they're a very powerful weapon for the ricotta, again, known as the Infinite Empire when they attempted to conquer the galaxy. If you want an episode about that, let me know. It seems cool. I love ricotta. Right? I put it in my pasta. A little ricotta cannoli, huh? I'm sorry. I said it on the bonus episode. I ate two pounds of cheese gnocchi today and it's filling my brain right now, so.
His blood is mostly Parmesan at this point. You can't donate for days. His brain. So on Descending, Dagon is overcome by visions. He sees an army of dark warriors wielding blades of frozen fire. Locke was driven mad, falling completely to the dark side of the force, and he is eventually exiled to Bogan. During his time on Bogan, and again, this will probably be in the next episode if we talk about it.
He, like, carves, like, a statue of himself wielding, like, one of those swords that he saw the invaders wielding, basically. A little bit of foreshadowing for you. But that's a story for another time, right? We're going to do that another time. A few decades after Hedia's invasion of the Jedi Fracture, sorry, a few decades after Hedia's invasion, the Jedi Fracture, okay? They split into two groups. They kind of come off this, they have another conflict, which is the one that we'll talk about on a future episode, and in the wake of that conflict, they break into two groups. One which would use the Ashla, or the light side of the Force, and one which would use the Bogan, or the dark side of the Force, right? Okay. The Ashla believe in the pursuit of knowledge, and the Bogan believe in the accumulation of power, right?
War breaks out. It's known as the War of Light and Darkness, with the two sides fighting over. What else? Ideology. These freaking ideologues, man. They're driving me crazy. Do I have opinions? Yeah, Jesus. So much simpler. Just scroll TikTok, you idiot. So they use force-infused metal swords known as Jedi Katana, and eventually the Ashla would emerge victorious. They quash the Bogan, and the Ashla Jedi would establish the Jedi Order. So officially, this is the beginning of the Jedi Order. It seems as though peace is going to rain throughout Tython once more, right? Because now we have just...
Just the Jedi. No more of the bad guys, right? The dark side of the Force. But... We know that balance is important, right? That's like the one driving principle behind these people, behind the Star Wars stories, probably. I've made my opinions on centuries. I'm clear on the podcast before. I do think it's the Jedi are the good guys. I think they're the good guys, and we should do what the Jedi do, not what the Sith do, but that's just me. The Sith never do anything good. They just kill people. Yeah, I think we can all, I don't think that's just you. I think we can all agree that the Jedi do. No, but I mean, there's this recurring theme, I think, throughout Star Wars that it's like balance is important. Like balance, like you need both. You need a bit of everything, right? Which I think is like, and there's like a real political movement, and that's fine. You can have your opinions, but personally, I'm like, do what the good guys do, not the bad guys. That seems pretty simple.
Yeah, the Empire blows up planets. Makes me an idea. I don't remember the name of it. I'm sorry for never forget. I did not never forget. That's the problem. All the good guys now are still on Tython? All the Jedi? Yeah, yeah, exactly. So aren't they going to get force stormed out with a big old force storm if they don't do the bad stuff too? Maybe that's my next paragraph, huh? I did look it up because it was driving me crazy. It is Endor. I said at the beginning of the episode, you said not Endor. He's a guy. Endor is a planet. Endor is a guy. Endor is not. It's a planet that got blown up by the Death Star. I miss her. Never mind.
So yeah, so they're like, hey, we're all Jedi now. We're all Ashla followers. We love the light. No more dark side users, right? But one of their kind, one of the founding members of the Shadow Order, like one of the masters who had helped found the good side of things, he succumbs to the dark side. There's always this tipping back towards balance, I think. I'm going to go back to Bogan and Jack off again, guys. I can't not do it. Yeah, exactly. I got a goon! I didn't realize what I found in this society that you guys would let me goon! That's no goon. And then it shoots a laser and blows at Pandora. A laser of what, Peter? A laser of what? Lightning, obviously. Oh yeah, of course! Master Rajavari.
So, fun fact, he's the founder of the Jedi Archives, which is also, like, a thing that, like, Obi-Wan goes to at some point in the films. He's, like, the creator of, like, this concept of, like, we have to archive everything that we do. We have to have this, like, very well-recorded history. This is the guy who did it. And he falls to the dark side. He ends up, like, taking a bunch of other Jedi who want to go with him. So he seduces, I guess, some others. They hold out in this, like, one fortress where they are trying to hold off against the Jedi who now want to get them out again. Be like, damn, there's still more of them. But the war is sparked once more.
until it ends with something called a Force Cataclysm. That's what I was saying at the beginning, where it's like, this was the biggest Force Storm ever recorded, but they do eventually have a Force Cataclysm, which I'm like, well, this is a bigger Force Storm. You just call it something different, you know? I guess it's its own classification, right? They upgraded Hurricane to Tornado, or vice versa. I don't know how it works. It all but destroys the planet, basically, right? So it makes it inhospitable for any species to live there, kind of long-term. What Ashla Jedi, who remained after the Cataclysm, because many did die in the war, or in the war with Reshivari, and then also in the Cataclysm, they leave the planet.
The first planet they settle would be Ossus, where the Jedi Order would live on from there. And that's been, I mean, that's it. That's all we're going to talk about today. Obviously, there's a lot more we talk about. We even mentioned the Sith or the fact that there might have been some Sith down there on that planet with those guys. But if there's more Star Wars stuff that you want to hear, feel free to request something. I'd ask.
put it in proximity to this one. There's so much to learn that if you, if it's like five stepping stones I got to take to get to the piece you want, I'm less likely to do it than if you say the Sith or if you say the Immortal Empire or the Immortal Empire, is that what I call them? If you say one of the things I've talked about today, the Force, Midichlorians, let me know. And I will do it. We have a touch point now, okay? I have a grasp. I'm like, I feel like I'm like holding the sail of a ship by like my fingertips, you know? Like I just have my two fingers and my thumb grasping this like great big sail and I'm trying to hold on to it. But it was a lot of fun. Thanks so much for listening.
If you want to get in touch, lowbrowspodcast.gmail.com. Peter, do you want to talk about our Instagram page? At Lowbrows Podcast on Instagram, and my book, The Black Frontier, is available on Amazon, linked below. It's also available digitally on our $15 Patreon tier, which I always forget. So if you want to support the show and get a digital copy of the book, it is available on Patreon. The $9 tier gives you a preview. You get about a third of it as well if you want to just wet your beak a little bit there.
if you want to see my streams loreboyjames on twitch and youtube every tuesday thursday playing a lot of pirates right now come hang out loreboyjames i need help building up that youtube too so if you can help me with a sub or a like or whatever on youtube that especially helps me out thank you yeah we want to make a money to send jamie to indonesia where he can harass strangers on kick um and then yeah that's kind of the thing i want that's the end point that's the end point of the loreboys podcast i was happy to bail jamie out of indonesian prison uh and if you're watching on youtube And if you're not watching on YouTube and you want to, you can check out our YouTube. We can also use some love there. Leave a comment. Like I said, we think it helps. This is something that every other YouTuber says to do. Like, comment, and subscribe. I don't fucking know if it does anything. But everyone else is saying it, that I'm a sheep. So do it. Smash the line button. Yeah. And if you want to support us financially, like Pete said, we do have Patreon, patreon.com slash loreboys. You can check it out. You can also leave us a rating or review on your podcast app of choice. That definitely helps boost our visibility. Crunch at us, I guess is what I'm getting at. If you don't have Patreon, we do have Loreboys Prime. It's always offered where big money will never get their freaking hands on, okay? We are working on a weather machine, though, for our own...
I would say nefarious purposes. Would you guys put our purposes in the nefarious category? Yeah. We are applying to annex a town in Ohio. Yeah. I do. If I do anything good, it's only so I can shoot lightning out of my penis later. True. True, yeah. I'm thinking of becoming the Archpeta. I'm thinking of using a weather machine to Wizard of Oz all the cows in North America to liberate them, basically. You actually did mean Archpeta. Yeah. What do you think by Archpeta other than Archpeta? The first thing that comes to my head is a flatbread, as you can imagine. Okay, and not you. Maybe I'm Archpeter, huh?
I'm Peter. I'm the middle Peter. And I think that one comes today. Lore Boys out. Goodbye.