Oh hello everybody, this is the A Street Podcast, a beautiful Wednesday day, joined by the incredible, highly requested, Stavros Healthiest, that's your last name right? You nailed it. Yeah, that's what I'd like to hear, that's what I'd like to hear. Let's go!
Let's fucking go, baby. Actually, you've got a ton of fans here in the studio. I love it. Good group.
We've been trying, you know, actually we have a lot of overlap in our lives. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just on Hassan's stream. Yeah. He's claiming to be a plus-sized man, despicable.
Fucking liar. Piece of shit. Yeah, he's a liar ass. Yeah, yeah.
He told me technically he's overweight. Get the fuck out of here. Shut the hell up, you Turkish piece of shit. Yeah, the Greeks and the Turks, is there something?
Yeah, we've got a blood feud. Yeah, I've got a blood feud there. I'm still kind of trying to Trojan horse him. I'm trying to get the codes to his mansion, and then he lets me in.
I'm taking all his protein candies. I'm taking all his fucking shit. Today's episode is sponsored by Adam and Eve, GamerSupps, ExpressVPN, and PayPal, honey, who we all love so well. Thank you.
Thank you. Use PayPal, buy dildos. Use a VPN for whatever weird porn you're downloading. You got it all.
It's a three-in-one shot. Actually, we're not allowed to get one. Well, so Adam and Eve, we call it our favorite e-commerce website. We're not allowed to sell dildos, but we've got a loophole, because you can sell dildos on Amazon, right?
And Amazon, they straight up buy ads on YouTube. That's true. And so I was like, well, the e-commerce website. So Adam and Eve, they just do e-commerce.
They do e-commerce. What other shit they got on it? They got anything you can't fuck? Is there one item that you can't fuck?
Hold something that you can't fuck in. We'll prove it right now. Let's prove it. Let's figure it out.
It's my favorite e-commerce website. I love e-commerce. It gives me heart. Export, export.
Yeah. Yeah, by the way, congratulations on your... Oh, so they sell lingerie. There we go.
You can fuck in it, though. Right. Is there anything not fucking anything? That's true.
You're a beekeeper's outfit. You can cut a hole in it and get your dick sucked. You're right. Find something non-sexual on that e-commerce website.
It's like they have a bath and body section. Oh, there you go. There we go. My favorite bath and body...
I'm sorry. What about therapy massage oil? Oh, there you go. Yeah, I know what it's really for.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get you loose. Is that poppers? Is that what the rumpa therapy oil is?
Poppers? You're not familiar with poppers? Is that where you... The VHS clearly loosens up your asshole?
You don't know about this? Wait, that's the CO2 shit? I don't know. It's official scientific.
I just have a lot of gay friends and they love poppers. Why is that? I know that. You know how I said it loosens up your asshole?
I think that's probably what it is. It just loosens your asshole? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I've heard...
I've had friends who do it and I'm like, I'm not doing that. And I've done fucked up drugs, right? I've done it all, but I've seen my friends who do poppers and I was like, no. I think the one time I did poppers, it was my 30th birthday, I had just seen Into the Spider-Verse on Four Taps of Acid.
Really? And I was kind of coming down, we had a nice little party at a beer hall, and just one of my friends had poppers. I was like, why not? So I don't really remember exactly how I did it.
I couldn't tell you. I was still on acid and kind of coming down, but... Can somebody research why poppers is used in gay sex? I think that's correct.
I'm packing that? Yeah, yeah. Oh, they say it's a muscle relaxer. So there you go.
You're actually right on there. I'm telling you. Thank you. Yeah, okay.
I know my stuff. This is educational pop. Let's tell these motherfuckers about poppers. And did you guys find anything safe for work?
I mean, we got aromatheric. We got the oil. Shaving cream. You know what would be funny?
We should have them do a copy for us about, like, bathroom stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like a shampoo. Never mind that it's called D-Cummer.
It's like it's meant to get cum out of your hair. It's still shampoo. And when you got it in there, although if you were to go with... There's something about Mary.
You could use cum as a gel. So maybe it's just a can of cum. Where's that source from? Can I buy some ads?
Stav's hair gel. Just keep getting off into a mason jar. Yeah, so also I want to say that Stav... Stav, Rostav, whatever you want.
You're on tour. On tour, maybe. In February, you're going all around the country. How many seats are you doing?
A thousand seats here. Let's fucking go. It'll be great, yeah, yeah. So, and some of them are really selling out, but I'm going all over the place.
So here's Stav, Rostav, Stavvy, Stavvy, Stavvy, Stavvy, Stavvy, Stavvy, Stavvy. And how'd you get that biz, though? Dude, it was tough. That's what we did, bro.
Yes, you guys can come here, get some tickets. Yeah, scroll down. Look at that shit. They're going fast, motherfuckers.
Oh, yeah. And by the way, go ahead. I forgot. I brought you guys cookies.
I also brought calendars, because I sell a calendar every year. I sell an erotic calendar. I got you, bro. Oh, I got more intel on the poppers, if we want to go back to that.
Because poppers increase blood flow and can relax the walls of the anus and vagina. Did I say anus or are you just thinking? No, no, no, it's there. I've never been with a girl who needed a vagina loosening.
Yeah, yeah. But okay, this guy's out there. That's why it's more popular in the gay community than the shriek community. It's a dick shrinker and a pussy loosener.
So people take it while they're having sex. There you go, my friend. If you're curious for more info, yeah, I am. So, by the way, Markiplier is.
No. Yeah, so he's a fucking, he did this too, and he's a fucking coward. OnlyFans promised you to show dick. You didn't show dick?
No. He is a coward. If I promised. I haven't shown dick yet, but I'm keeping a little something.
Something for my wife. Look at that. You can buy this on the website? On the website, stovie.biz.
Yeah, these are nice. I'll be careful. That's my ass. Free or post-opper.
It's free. You can tell how high and tight it is. Yeah, it looks nice. Thanks, man.
Every girl's fantasy. That's right. Yeah, and also I want to congratulate you on the success of your special. Oh, thanks, dude.
Pretty incredible for a comedian to upload their special and for it to do so well. Yeah, no, I was shocked. Four million. Four million views.
Yeah, it was like, I just, the best thing that I ever did for my career was just make a really expensive YouTube video, basically. And it was like, no one wanted to buy it. You know, Netflix. You know, there's a couple weird streamers that it's like, I'm not, you know.
Like what? This isn't going up on like, I'm not putting my shit up on Tubi. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not doing that shit.
Or some other subscription that might not be around anymore. But I was just like, I just want people to see it. And so I put a lot of money into it. And then it fucking, it did crazy.
Yeah, it was shot really beautifully. You know, well conceived, well shot. I mean, it's super professional. It's exactly what you see on a big streaming platform.
Yeah, we got really lucky. Shout out to Dylan Samford. He DP'd it. He does like, he does like Netflix stuff.
I was looking at his IMDb. And he literally worked on like the Super Bowl halftime. Like this guy, he's incredible. And we got lucky because we shot in LA.
And I did it on a Monday. And it was like, these guys live here. They're not doing shit. So you kind of get them on a deal.
You know, but I had to shoot my special at 6 p.m. on a Monday. And then one at 8. And the 6 was a little, people are just coming off work.
There's still masks. You know, last December. So it was a little touchy. But then, you know, we really got it on the second one.
But it was great, man, yeah. So you guys did two shows in the Splice of the Great Moments. Exactly. And I like to fuck with the crowd.
So there was like a nice little best stuff from each one. Nice. Yeah, I recommend it. Super funny.
Everyone here loved it. And they're tough crowds, man. These guys are fucking haters. They're all right.
You should hear them talk about other stand-ups. Yeah. Yeah, fuck that. That's me.
Fuck every other stand-up. I think we can all agree. Yeah, but so the success of this, you got 4.1 million people to come watch an hour-long stand-up set. When you posted it, did it go like immediately viral?
Or how was the... Yeah, it did pretty good up top. I mean, I didn't have much going on on my YouTube before. And so I started posting, like, crowd work clips.
Because when I was working on the special, I filmed every hour that I did for, like, six months. Because I wanted to, like, find two things. I was, you know, I was taking it very seriously. And there were just these moments that weren't, you know, weren't in the act.
I was just fucking with people. And I was like, well, I don't want to use my material, so why don't I just put these up? Just kind of on a lark. I'll build up a little YouTube presence.
And those just kind of went fucking crazy, which I wasn't expecting. That's so cool. And so I had, like, 20,000 subscribers when it started. I started another podcast, Stavi's World.
Stavi's World, yeah, which is on YouTube, right? On YouTube, baby. You know, I'm trying to get, like, you. I need a compound.
I want bidets in my studio toilet. Yeah, we have a bidet, you're right. But I don't like the communal bidet. I feel like other people's shit is getting squirted in my ass.
Oh, that's a good point. I don't know. It's the only one. I told them.
It takes a luxury out of the bidet. It does. You know, like, I have a bidet at home, but I'm the only ass getting squirted in. Well, not even your family.
It's a monogamous relationship. Wow, dude. I didn't know you were so uptight. I'm poly when it comes to bidets.
I'll fucking get anybody's shit water up my ass. I don't care. It's about the feeling. That's what I like about you.
Yeah, I'm open. Yeah, I love that about you. We have a communal one, right, that everyone fucks with. And so my bidet actually has a drying function.
Love that. That's next level. So the one in my bedroom is just for me. Wow.
And when I dry, I know that's just the smell of my own fecal matter blowing my face. But when I'm downstairs at the communal one, and sometimes you hit that dryer button, and it don't smell right. I gotcha. And I'm just, I don't like that at all.
It scares me. I still use it. I think you need to open up your horizons. In Japan, they got them in public toilets.
But they dry your ass? They dry your ass, too. Oh, wow. They got it all, bro.
I think if you do a good enough job on the swert, you need to teach whoever's shitting in your communal bathroom to fully wash their ass with a bidet. That's your issue. If a bidet is used correctly, I don't think you should be smelling any shit on the dryer. Yeah, so I kind of had to strategize a little bit, because sometimes when I shit, I know this may sound crazy, but I didn't even think about it.
I would blow dry my ass while the shit was done. No, that's you. You're the issue. You got hot shit coming out of your ass.
Santa Ana wins when my asshole is coming out. And so I realized, okay. Why? No, no, wait, wait.
Sorry. It was that I would just flush my shit and then squirt my ass. So there's a little bit of shit in the toilet. Not a full dump.
Okay, okay. That'd be crazy. To be drying with a full shit. You're just wafting shit and tear into your nose.
It was a light wafting. I think you need two flushes before the dryer. You even start thinking about the dryer. That's what I do now.
Okay. All right. You should be fine then. Yeah, yeah.
I'm doing it. So yeah. By the time I get a bidet, I'm going to fucking know it. I'll learn from your mistakes.
Well, there's actually other interesting moves you can do with the bidet. Whereas I've got more experience with it. I'm listening. You can, if you have a nice fine jet.
Or sometimes it just goes like a fire hose in the bathroom. It's intense. But you can shoot it up your ass. Fully up your ass.
And like if you're constipated, you can literally give yourself an enema. I don't know about that one. I don't know about hacking a bidet. You know what I mean?
I'm not going to hack. You just got to lose. You did some poppers and you're going to go. Has the doctor told you about this?
Or was it just trial and error? Yeah, it was trial and error. I don't know about that one. A few times, you know, there's been some constipation.
And I go, let's get an enema. All right. But get a real enema, not a bidet enema. Yeah.
Oh, see, so thank you for backing up. Did you score water up your ass? When I had a spicy chip, it was hard to come out. So I needed some assistance.
You were constipated? Yeah, I was like, yeah. It was hot. It was very hot.
Whoa. You know about the spicy chip challenge? I have heard about it, yeah. Have you done it?
Do you want to do it? Not really. After what he said about his ass, how he just, he's constipated with a ball of fire up his ass. I think he's good.
How'd you get constipated with that? Because when I eat spicy, it just, I, no, no. I don't know. It took forever.
I wasn't feeling anything. Whoa. And then, yeah, later in the night. And to remedy this, you put water up your ass.
Yes, sir. Okay. All right. Well, I stand corrected.
But wait, bidet water up your ass? Bidet water, yeah. All right. Well, I help you put things up.
Okay, I'm in. I'll give it a shot. Yeah, there's all kinds of applications to the bidet. Sometimes I drink out of it.
The water bottle, the sport bottle? Of course. If it's fresh. Maybe right before I install the day, I'll just drink from it to say I did.
Before anyone shits in it. Right. I mean, still pour the water, but whatever. That's fine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, so anyway, guys, check out Savro's healthiest YouTube channel. It's all happening. That's right.
It's all happening. So congrats on all that. Thank you, bro. I appreciate it.
Thank you. Thank you so much. All right, cool. Well, thanks.
Yeah, I'm going to take off, so. This is really fun. I want to hate you today. Yeah.
What are your thoughts on Helen Keller? I guess I'm lightly, she's a very interesting person. She's got a lot of different layers, right? Blind, all that kind of shit.
Blind, mute, all that kind of, you know, classic, what we know about Helen Keller. So it's kind of. Deaf too, right? Deaf, blind, the whole thing, right?
So, A, did she really learn how to do anything? I find that hard to believe, right? But let's say she did, right? Let's go with the story.
Then you also hear that she's racist as hell. That's another one. So it's like, that kind of, you know. It's like, bitch, you can't see.
How do you know to be racist? You can't hear? It's all smell? Is that what it is?
I smell your ass. Is that black man? She knows black pheromones and she doesn't like them. So those are the two competing ones.
Also, I think she might have been a communist or something. I don't remember. She's a eugenic person? She figured that shit out.
Wait a second. She's going to eugenics herself out of this? Yeah, she wanted to kill herself. That's crazy, dude.
She's like a motherfucker that was working with the aliens to get the earth blown up. You know what I mean? Like, how are you going to be a eugenics guy? She's a traitor to all the deaf blinds.
Absolutely. She would have gotten punted in Sparta so fast. They would have fucking kicked her ass into the lake. And she was like, thank you.
I deserved it. Yeah. I guess, you know what? Now that we're talking about it, fuck Helen Keller.
Okay, thank you. I'm on a mission. Who's close this bitch? I get her ass.
And she's a fraud. She's telling me, she's like, oh, I can't see again here again. Oh, fuck you. Right, right.
I agree with that. So you think she can see at least? She can at least see or hear? Frankly, I don't even know that she existed at all.
Okay, interesting. The whole thing's in question for me. Yeah. I mean, I guess if she did, it was really impressive.
Whoever taught her how to do anything deserves a little shout out. You know those guys when you go on vacation, they come up to the table and they're like, they hand you a little pamphlet and they're like, hi, I can't speak. Right. That's what she, that's her whole fucking life.
She had pamphlets. She had pamphlets. Check this merch out we found. Unrelated.
Merge? Helen Keller merch? Helen Keller denier. Hate the damn way.
I love how they put this on like, right, right, right. Just a cute. They had no idea that there was. Not at all.
There ain't no way. I think there might be a way, but I don't fuck with her personally. What we just discussed. She did come across some adversity, but to become a eugenics person and be racist off smell and I guess maybe taste.
I don't know. I don't like that. Thanks, boy. I don't like that.
Here, let me find. Yeah, I went to her Wikipedia page. There's not a controversy section for Helen Keller. Bullshit, dude.
Sanitize. Let's get that going. Let's get that going, guys. Do a little research.
Look, she apparently has a signature. Look at this shit. There ain't no fucking way. Well, it does look like shit.
So maybe it is. That case doesn't even connect. I thought it was a good thing. Fuck that.
That case sucks. Look at that case. That case is embarrassing. Yeah, that's pretty bad.
Can we just look at it for a second? You idiot. Oh, yeah. Okay, I got to tone it down.
You know, I bet, you know. What does young Helen Keller look like? You want to know if she's fuckable? Yeah, she was fuckable.
As a fact, man, I know that you take the right angle, you can look okay. Here you go. Nah, I'm out. Fuck her.
I'm not doing it for you? I'm back out on her. Okay. She's a bitch.
Yeah, she's a bitch. What do you smell? Oh, she has smell? Oh, there we go.
Why are you flexing on the smell? Yeah, yeah. I get it. You can smell.
Big deal. When did this Helen Keller thing start? What about it? What set you off on this anti-Helen Keller crusade?
To me, it's just like, there's just no way. You know, like, I'm meant to believe that all this. Like, you know, we're doubting so many fundamental truths about society, right? All these conspiracy theories.
Like, let's say, you know, they say that Donald Trump's still the president. Right. That's what I was talking about. They say, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to wait. Cue any moment now. You know, they say the world is flat.
Yeah, yeah. I'm saying, y'all are talking about, you got your sight on the wrong shit. Right. You're talking about a woman who was blind.
deaf and mute writing books about eugenics yeah hell no ain't no way are there any other helen like she's the most famous one who are the other blind deaf mute motherfuckers who's the second most famous blind deaf mute motherfuckers i think she's the only one because usually they just end up in like a fucking black hole of nothing yeah yeah yeah yeah just maybe eating there's no reason they couldn't be like chefs that would be kind of interesting i guess not really a chef like ratatouille yeah you get one of those motherfuckers with ratatouille now we're talking yeah get the mouse what if helen keller was a ratatouille situation what if a really racist mouse got into her hat and made her type all those eugenics stories yeah yeah what about a fucking Nazi mouse dude fled from germany once she went started going bad you know he left hitler's bunker her father worked for many years as an editor uh for the two scumbia north alabamian okay he served as a captain of the confederate army wow traitor well wait here she's from here yeah her dad was a captain in the confederate army race and race is from the jump hell yeah yes gotcha the family were part of the slave holding elite before the war wow but lost status later see that oh wow yeah fuck helen keller honestly she's not chill though her mother was the daughter of charles w adams a confederate general oh my god how about this okay ready this is why i'm getting my ancient greek shit what if they were such horrible slave owners that they like blinded a slave took a like hung out and then also fucked one of their ears up and god was like now now your fucking daughter doesn't get any of that shit yeah what if she's a possibility it's clear we don't know that they didn't fuck with slaves the keller's weren't bad slave owners it's clear we're not a good one you know what i mean you got me there no you're right you're right i'm gonna take one i'm gonna redact good slave owner let me i don't know what i mean i let him take a break yeah yeah of course i won't be paying them or treating them as human hell no no so you're right maybe this is a no it's clearly it is clearly a punishment for previous sins yeah this is how that works we're mixing a little buddism in there she fucked over every god yeah that's true there it is you gotta stop dissing the nazis all the time well how about the helen keller oh wait she can't hear it and she's dead yeah she's dead too actually so i would yeah anyway if you know about the second best deaf you guys get any intel on that we need a new role model yeah let me just have to list i gotta be honest it's not impressive but it does well i need a brace you guys believe a brace blind deaf blindness okay so it's both deaf blind is that what helen keller had yeah okay so she can't see or any of them not racist search that non-racist that seemed to be from the 1800 so frankly no very unlikely all right yeah let's see let's see the modern day definitely oh they stopped they just stopped happening danny del cambre this is the most reason why 1959 was successful so people read those papers yeah and we just well that's okay we just out okay now i'm starting to you know what now i'm with you because if it's not suddenly 1959 it was never really happening you know and before that it's like we're eating plastic we're doing all kinds of great there's even more deaf blindness than ever well maybe that's really what it was how bad medicine was that maybe doctors just really fucked up a blind kid's ears or something they're like this is the other day they're like okay your baby can't see what we're gonna do is take a ice pick and hammer it yeah yeah yeah yeah we're gonna put we're gonna put a taiwanese man's blood into his eyes we're gonna inject it that should do it yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and we're gonna have a leech eat it and suck it exactly yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah medicine was wild back the leeching for sure so yeah that's probably what it was you're right it's fake that's why she's a fucking poser and she's a racist fuck her family yeah fuck the kellers and they're all a bunch of confederate scum that's right let's move on i don't know 45 on fuck helen keller okay wait wait what's next on the docket so we saw this picture and this might explain things so maybe it's not helen keller's fault after all oh there it is i knew it she's got a mouse she's got a mouse is it doing a sick aisle is it doing a sick aisle has the mouse got an armband wait does it does oh my god wait anybody else got a little snack it's fucked it wasn't helen's fault dude it wasn't helen's fault she was you i'd rather do it by a nazi mouse these nazis have gone too far gone too far is that what's going on with kanye is there a racist mouse under that under that mask that would explain a lot of stuff man love about hitler and his voice got weird too maybe the mouse is directly talking because he's a little more high pitched right anyway something to consider it's just there's i really want to keep listening to college dropout so if a mouse did it that would really that would really that would really bail me out listening to kanye or you slide slide before you even have to answer that sure because i know it's a tricky question yeah zach who is jewish okay still rocks kanye i think you don't is that right you still play it just on it um i'm jews for eases man yeah that's over bro there you go i was a diehard i stuck with him through a lot of stuff but it was really it was really explicitly being like hitler rocks the guy that i was like all right i'm off i'm off the train like that was the one no worries now what he really went so far his last stalwart uh allies were like on kanye subreddit and those guys had a kanye podcast and they all bailed at a certain point they turned the kanye subreddit into a taylor swift oh damn that also broke my heart and then they turned it into a um hallcast memorial i saw that yeah yeah that was pretty good that was pretty good but yeah it broke my heart i mean once the i mean yeah i don't know so i just hope i'm cross my fingers it's a fucking nazi mouse if it's a mouse then then yeah then we're good we're all so good we just have to kill the mouse that's what i'm saying what are we gonna do about the mouse we gotta do something about these nazi mouses you know it's just the beginning of new work and how many other what if no one's what if no one's racist or nazi what if it's the being of these ratatouille racist mice yeah yeah yeah ratatouille's ratatouille's are controlling the media they didn't rape anyone there's a mouse alien mouse's his little fucked up dick that was the mouse's dick he pulled his little mouse dick through his fucking pants that's one of my favorite details about harvey his favorite the way there's good slave owners his favorite harvey weinstein details but his dick was apparently like rotten mangled yeah apparently his balls were inserted in his thigh wow the man had thigh balls that's crazy like what a little pocket like a kangaroo he had a house for his nuts yep he had some kind of um like fungal thing that ate his pocket that's another one okay yeah that is that's sexy that is now we're really getting back to like karma shit where it's like if you're a rapist your balls literally rotting off it's pretty it's pretty much what you deserve god is trying to make a point he's making a point with harvey so let's see one of uh harvey's victims described his penis as disgusting sure well i've had mine described as such yeah yeah how you got a bad penis it's fine actually just regular you would say the thing about my dick my relationship with my dick has changed over the years where like i used to be skinny and athletic and at that point in my life i was proud of my dick your dick was primed ready to go at all times then as i started to gain weight you see it less you see it yep it has less blood to uh and then all of a sudden it's not that arrested yeah yeah it's sadder it's not very girthy it's not yeah mine neither that's all right spaghetti noodles it's a regular ass dick okay no problem what about your dick my dick is pretty i've got a fucked up penis for sure but what about it it's like i've got a tight foreskin so it doesn't go back all the way it's kind of like what i like to say is imagine trying to get a fat toddler in a baby's turtleneck you know you're trying to pull it down it won't go back all the way so are you pro circumcision i am strongly anti that would help though but i'm just i would consider myself a traitor if i got my foreskin sniffed off but sometimes there's a medical need nah dude never never not for this i'm pro foreskin no matter what no matter what i'm a foreskin absolute yeah yeah i'll give a fuck yeah yeah yeah i like that so i'm keeping mine even though you have to have a real finesse approach to work with my penis really so it's that hard to get that thing back yeah does it hurt if you brush it you can't get too much oh yeah yeah so again did it stretch out over time a little bit but not as much as you'd want it to so when you were younger it was even worse even worse i'm trying to figure out like the way like hot topic guys put those gauges in their ears i feel like i could do that to my penis but i just don't have the gauge you know i want a heavy duty one so if anyone here is like you know adam and eve.com do they have cop gauges i mean amongst other great you call this goods and services yeah yeah anyway if you're a fan of hoobastank they used to manage a let's not put dick in hoobastank you don't think so it doesn't feel right is that even right though do hoobastank fans have those earrings who am i thinking of what kind of band is he feels like a hoobastank feels hoobastank oh no it is and that's a mouse and it's wearing a clown top that's a shame that's a real issue well let's spin fucking late registration it's all good we're set we're going to mouse genocide right now we really do because they're dangerous these ratatouille's ratatouille's ratatouille's ratatouille's ratatouille's not cool not cool so let's take that mouse off him yeah so um yeah my penis is fine I'm certain size so I never had a problem well I don't have an issue with it your lifestyle is your choice you know thank you we can co-exist we can co-exist well yeah yeah you know I circumcise my kids because we're Jewish and my wife she you know we're not religious or anything but to be honest I'm happy my dick circumcised I don't have a problem there that's your that's um internalized anti-forskin phobia it could be you know it's like you've been mangled at birth and you're making the best of it but not me dude but not me even through pain I keep my natural penis just kind of the kind of guy how do you know it's not better over here bro your shit is old there's a fucking there's a rat strangling your cock I don't know dude there's just something too I could never look I could go back to Greece and look my cousin in the eye I know my dick is different than his I don't want to fuck up your life I don't want to fuck up my family life I'm going to come get you when you're sleeping one night like operation I need a circumcision version of operation where you don't make the guy up but you circumcise him I don't think that's why all right well there we go it's been 30 minutes we're going to do an ad break but actually I have a lot we barely touched her we got so into Helen oh I wanted to say fucking don't get me back on her it's on me fuck her keep it moving you're a liar dude don't need to hold her accountable absolutely let's desecrate her tombstone let's take some positive for the whole tombstone up our ass yeah I'm not doing that just for the record all right I'm still undecided so we have a comedian who's a friend of the show he's an up and comer and I use that in the most generous terms possible George is shitty comedy is that what you're saying is that what you mean in some circles your words about mine I don't know but I'm going to guess yes his name is Jimmy Lee his moniker is the Jersey Outlaw moniker is already a big problem you do not need a moniker to do this he's the Jersey Outlaw he's got a whole persona I mean no chance he's good so he's going to call in at 2.30 and I was hoping that you as a professional queen can give him feedback he has a set prepared for us he's going to do a set over the phone yeah we'll see if we go okay great and so you know and he's like I said he's a friend of the show he knows everything we do so you don't have to feel bad I won't I won't pull my punches for the Jersey Outlaw so that's exciting so he brings me that whole time of humor at 2.30 so let's say I throw it to a break I pre-recorded because I knew that we were probably going to get my sponsors cancelled I pre-recorded it to keep it clean so we're going to roll to that and when we come back more with Stavros Helkius you got it guys thank you to my favorite e-commerce website Adam and Eve they are basically my favorite website that does e-commerce and they sell all kinds of range of products some cylinder shaped right some would say phallic phallic shape but not a phallic but just in that shape can I say phallic yeah I don't think so I think that's just that describes the shape they sell like they sell like they sell materials that make things slick right right what do I call them lubricants lubricants right because there's all kinds of lubricants there's like car lubricants there's even boat lubricants yeah and I've used some of that to lube up my treadmill because I needed some hardcore shit that lasted so I don't think they sell boat lubricants to be totally clear you're being so clear right now they do sell lubricants yeah they do have and actually they sell they have the best cylinder shapes the best lubricants and they even have receptacles like if you you know when you plug a light into a socket yeah so the socket would be the receptacle yeah that's right and so if you want to put your plug into a socket this would be also a good place to shop for that and among other e-commerce products actually gets even better guys if you go to adamandeve.com my favorite e-commerce website with a range of products you can get over 50% off almost any item plus free shipping that is insane wow I know use the code h3i check out to get the offer that's 50% off almost any item plus free shipping the link is in the description thank you to adamandeve.com my favorite e-commerce website gamersup nation I love my gamersup it means the world to me let me hit this real fast it's so refreshing it's energizing it's doing so much for me and you know what I really love about it I don't have to drink sugary drinks to get a good hit of energy and something that tastes sweet and something that tastes great and that's what gamersups is all about sup nation sup nation sup nation that's almost like yeah I could see Philly D saying like what's up nation Philly sup nation sup sup sup yep I love it man pina colada and guacamole farts and also titty milk was it titty milk that's the name of it yeah but even against even against titty milk flavor black cherry is my go to here's what I love use the code h3 you'll get 10% off your whole order always and if you don't believe us pay the $5 in shipping and get some free samples so you can try and make that decision for yourself so there you go just pay for $5 shipping you can get a free sample try it for yourself you're gonna love it you know coffee it just hits me it hits me kind of hard it's like acidic you gotta put cream in it it's gamersup for life thank you gamersups happy holidays it's the season of giving I'm not talking about the enormous internet bill you pay every month every time you go online without ExpressVPN your provider like AT&T and Verizon can see every flippin' thing you're doing heck no and yes that includes all the sites you visit in incognito mode on top of overcharging they're also legally allowed to sell your browsing activity to third party advertisers for massive profits where's my month out of that that's why I'm done giving the internet service providers I always go online with ExpressVPN the app encrypts and reroutes 100% of my network data through the secure server so my provider can't see a thing yo if they wanna sell my data I'm getting a cut that's my data if you wanna know what kind of big titty expanding press and May I watch on Wednesday at 8 p.m.? I'm going to cut to that shit. Thank you. It could be easier to simply fire up ExpressVPN on any of your devices, phone, laptop, whatever, tap one button to connect, and that's it.
Unlike your internet service provider, ExpressVPN is committed to your privacy. Their privacy policy has been audited by third party, so you can rest assured that your data is not being logged by anyone. If you've been given enough to your ISP this year, it's time for you to start taking. So take back your internet privacy today with a VPN rated number one by TechRadar and Mashable.
Visit expressvpn.com slash h3 and get three extra months for free. ExpressVPN. That's e-x-p-r-e-s-s-vp-n.com slash h3. ExpressVPN.com slash h3 Today's episode is sponsored by PayPal.
Honey is the easiest way to save when you're shopping on your iPhone or computer. That's right. It's the holidays and we're all be shopping. We all be shopping.
Thanks to Honey, you don't have to manually search for coupon codes to make sure you get the best deal possible. It's a free shopping tool that scours the internet for promo codes and applies to the best one I find to your card. If you're not using Honey, you're not using your brain. Because it's free, it's easy, and it's guaranteed to save you a bunch of money.
Check out all these savings we got. Good. This is all savings earned by us by passively having this extension open. Go to the checkout.
Honey goes, hey, do you want me to check the internet for coupons? Yeah, obviously. You click the button. Capulating.
Boom. Huge discount checkout. Easy, easy, easy. Damn.
So good. Imagine you're at one of your favorite sites and you click the checkout code. Check out the honey button appears and you just click apply coupon. Boom.
It's like magic. You know, I'm talking like furniture, food, electronics. One thing that I really like is they can track the price data. Dude, on Amazon, the prices are fluctuating like crazy.
I don't know if it's like a supply shortage or... Because I feel like sometimes they sell out and then the third party guys jack up the price. And so they'll track the price of stuff on Amazon for you so you know when you're getting the lowest price for sure and you're not overpaying by like 200%. You don't have to think about it.
You don't. Yeah, you don't. You can save even more when you ask how to keep track of price drops. I just said that.
If price drops on anything you list, you'll instantly get an alert to let you know. If you don't already have honey, you could be straight up busy. Out! And by getting it, you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting the show.
Thank you. We love honey. I use honey. I love honey.
Get PayPal honey for free at joinhoney.com slash h3. That's joinhoney.com slash h3. Thank you. Thank you.
And that's what it is. Absolutely. Wow, look at that guy. I just bought all that shit.
Yeah, me too. Ten of them. About ten honeys. Or whatever the fuck.
Yeah, no, the honeys. Who was that who thought we were promoting honey? Oh, that was Howie Mandel. He's like, what the fuck kind of ad is this?
You're selling honey? I was like, yes, Howie. Howie's not familiar with the concept of brand names? He's not good at branding.
Amazon? What is it? We're going to the river? We're going to Brazil?
Actually, you want to know how good Howie is at branding? He's a friend of the show. I love Howie. We kid Howie because we love him.
He's cool to shit. I fuck with Howie Mandel. Yeah, but I'll show you how good at branding he is. On his podcast, which nobody watches, by the way.
His most popular episode is with me, by the way. I'm not even kidding. I want to show you. This man did his whole podcast with it backwards!
His face is facing away. He put glasses on. It's an iconic look, Howie thinks. His glasses.
I got him to change it up. I finally broke through. He's got Scooter Braun. 8K views of Scooter Braun, god damn.
Nobody likes his ass. But does anyone like Scooter Braun? Who asked for that? I guess that's true, but you know.
Bill Maher. Now we're talking. He's a big name. Paul Stanley.
Look at that. That's you, bitch. Jeff Dunham sucked my dick. Put those puppets on my balls, Jeff Dunham.
If the puppets suck your dick, does he have to do the la la la la sound? I hate Jeff Dunham. I don't know what's like comedian code you're going to talk about. I don't know Jeff Dunham.
I don't particularly. He's a hack bitch. Yeah, I haven't really ever seen a single moment of Jeff Dunham. Really?
So he has these puppets and they say, he's like apparently a family comedian. He's the most popular comedian in America apparently because 60% of America is just like. Yeah. No, I mean, it makes sense to, like, you know, dumb.
The thing I have seen is that, like, I guess, I guess if I remember correctly, it was a racist puppet. All of them are super racist. Like after 9-11, he went on tour with Ahmed the Undead Terrorist. Look at this.
It's like, it's so crazy and nobody talked about what a fucking racist crazy shit. That's just terrible. Hey, careful that I'll kill you. He's threatening everybody.
I'm going to blow up this auditorium. Everyone's like, yeah. Is that a Jew in the front of him? And the other one is the spicy jalapeno.
That's awesome. Oh, yeah, his trademark is silence, I kill you. Oh. Airs down the ground.
That's awesome. Yeah, I love the necklace, too. And the fucking rhinestones around the collar. Yeah.
Now, that's a fucking, that's a blue collar man right there. This is a man who practices with a shield at home. This is a. Oh, my God.
The spicy jalapeno. The spicy jalapeno. Oh, I need a nap, Mr. Dunham.
The show is too hard for me today. It's straight up. So racist. Hey, get your bag, Jeff.
Yeah, no, he has it. Get your bag, brother. Dress it. Necklace and collar combos.
Super. That's the gays you're allowed to be in, like, fucking North Dakota. So true. Love that.
The rhinestones coming up. Gay. Yeah. That's the people present, of course.
That's a good one. He's a LBGT champion. He's a big supporter. You can tell.
Can I watch this without getting claimed? Do you think? Probably not. It's finally worth it.
Best of Jeff done. Jose de jalapeno. Just awesome. Thematically.
We don't even have to watch it. Yeah, so speaking of Howie Mandel, have you seen his furlap stick talk? I have not. Really?
Do you know about it? I don't. Wow. No, I don't.
Let me just revel in this moment. Please. Before I go to you. No, absolutely.
Howie Mandel, family-friendly comedian. Yep. The face. Deal or no deal.
Deal or no deal. America's got talent. Yes. The men's all over the place.
Bobby's World, which I kind of stole. It's Bobby's World. Love Bobby's World. I love Bobby's World.
I love it. It's a great show. Great show. That one in the Life of the Louis one.
The Louis Anderson one. Those were two bangers, bro. I'm 37. Yeah, I'm 33.
We're in there. Okay, so we grew up with similar cartoons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, fuck these guys.
It's just me and you in here, baby. You know? You guys hear that, guys? It's just me and you.