Staying in Love (Vijaya Fedorschak)

Love is a stable state of being that can be seen as the culmination of the path. What is required of us for this state to come about? Love is about more than one relationship. We can consider love in coupled relationship, with others that we associate with, and in relationship to life. What is usually meant when we say we love someone is that we want to be loved by them. We can have expectations of a partner and others and become resentful if they do not meet our expectations. What do we really want? If we had it, would it be enough? Relative existence is fundamentally disappointing since everything ends. Would residing in a stable state of love be enough? We have to consider loving our enemies if we are to work toward the possibility of the path. Society does not teach us to love our enemies. We see situations in life as friendly or unfriendly, favorable or unfavorable, and look for favorable situations all the time. We can consider the enemy to be anyone with whom we have a relationship of unlove and everything that represents the unfriendly side of existence. The traditions assert that there is something in us that has to change. We can intend to “Love our enemies” and do a turn-around when we are in a state of unlove toward others or when the unfavorable side of life presents itself. This is different than denying or suppressing our feelings. We can practice with this in small ways. Great masters have said that the Divine has us pass through painful ordeals to awaken us to the ultimate reality. We can have compassion for ourselves, not demand more of ourselves than is presently possible, and also work with such teachings and dare to remember the aim of staying in love. This talk is based on the teachings of the French master Arnaud Desjardins. VJ Fedorschak is the organizer of the Western Baul Podcast Series and author of The Shadow on the Path and Father and Son.