Stealthing: Not a Mistake, Not a Misunderstanding, But a Violation

Stealthing—it sounds like something out of a spy movie, but in reality, it’s a serious violation of consent. In this episode, we unzip what stealthing really is: when someone removes a condom during sex without their partner’s knowledge or consent. It’s a practice that crosses every ethical line, yet it’s still only legally recognized as sexual assault in one state (California).Together with our guest Dr. Jenn Evans, we dig into the legal gaps, the cultural double standards around contraception, and the toxic influence of “red pill” ideology that excuses men’s harmful actions while blaming women. We talk about the human impact—how stealthing robs people of their bodily autonomy—and why shifting societal attitudes about consent is as important as changing the laws.This conversation also shines a light on broader gendered expectations: why women are still blamed for pregnancies despite using contraception, why men’s reproductive sabotage is minimized, and how harmful online communities groom young men into entitlement and misogyny.At the heart of it all, this episode is about consent, power, and respect. Because no matter what the law says, removing someone’s choice is never okay.If you or someone you know has experienced stealthing or any form of sexual assault, you are not alone—and support is available. You can reach out to RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline. They’re available by chat and phone 24/7.If you have a story, thoughts and/or a topic or question for Dr. Sue and Charlie please share your ideas here:  ⁠Show suggestionsIf you want to ask Dr Sue a sex question for the weekly Q&A you can submit it here: Ask a question