Still Here: A Marine’s Fight to Live Again

In this raw and transformative episode of Blindsight, host Bill Lundgren sits down with Zach Tidwell, a blind Marine Corps veteran, adaptive athlete, software developer, and suicide survivor. Zach shares the deeply personal story of his journey—from a suicide attempt that left him blind and deaf in one ear, to confronting alcoholism, a devastating Huntington’s diagnosis, and ultimately rebuilding a life of resilience and purpose. Through adaptive sports, therapy, coding, and brutal self-honesty, Zach not only survived—he thrived. Zach speaks openly about the critical importance of speaking up, learning healthy coping strategies, asking for help, and embracing your agency in the face of despair. This episode is a must-listen for anyone facing internal battles—or for those supporting someone who is. ⚠️ Content Warning: This episode includes discussion of suicide and addiction. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call 988, and press 1 if you're a veteran. Contact Information: Crisis Line: Dial 988, then press 1 for veterans Aftersight Feedback Line: (720) 712-8856 Email: [email protected] Zach Tidwell Website: https://www.zachtidwell.net Podcast: Going in Blind with Zach Tidwell (available on all platforms) Chapter Markers: 00:00 – Welcome to Blindsight 01:05 – Meet Zach Tidwell: Marine, survivor, and adaptive athlete 02:14 – Betrayal, trauma, and the downward spiral 04:38 – Depression, drinking, and suicidal thoughts 06:53 – Surviving a self-inflicted gunshot wound 09:11 – “I’m not making salt and pepper shakers” — reclaiming identity 11:31 – Adaptive sports and rediscovering independence 13:52 – The power of speaking up during the lowest point 16:13 – Why Zach became a blind software developer 18:23 – Relapse and the battle with alcoholism 20:46 – Xanagrams and finding purpose through accessibility 22:45 – Accountability, acceptance, and hard choices 25:03 – The final drink: December 5, 2023 27:26 – The Huntington’s diagnosis and choosing to live intentionally 29:53 – Competing in sports and doing it differently 32:19 – Adapting your world by accepting help 34:39 – VA Blind Rehab Services and veteran resources 36:44 – Suicide prevention hotline and how to get help 38:00 – Zach’s projects, book, and podcast 40:10 – Final thoughts: Growth is painful but worth it