Stop Networking, Start Nurturing

In this episode of State of Mine, Kanwulia Gwam and Lia Neal discuss adult friendships and finding community after life transitions and moves. Lia shares how moving to Indiana post-college taught her to be intentional about making friends through existing communities like work, church small groups, and a boxing gym, emphasizing shared interests and repeated touchpoints. They discuss capacity limits for maintaining relationships, New York’s rise of community-building spaces (running clubs, social clubs, gym “squads,” Partiful events), and a dating app concept (Breeze) designed to push in-person meetings. The hosts reframe “networking” as “nurturing,” highlighting curiosity, better event design, and simple practices for staying in touch—thinking-of-you messages, photos, voice notes, and updates—plus qualities they value in friendships: honesty, inspiration, ease, and feeling energized.💌 Follow State of MineApple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/state-of-mine/id1868558247 Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/4zhmnnd9Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stateofminepod/00:00 Podcast Intro00:21 Birthday Bar Crawl Game03:00 Traitors Strategy Recap04:33 Why Adult Friendships Matter05:05 Making Friends After Moving06:20 Work Church Gym Communities08:18 How Guys Make Friends10:51 Shared Interests and Familiarity12:36 Social Capacity and Burnout17:23 NYC Community Spaces20:44 Organic Dating and Events23:30 Networking Versus Nurturing26:45 Designing Better Events27:54 Networking Versus Nurturing29:45 Curiosity Makes Connections32:23 Subway Story Surprise34:48 Why Nurturing Feels Hard35:36 Simple Check In Habits40:08 Tech That Builds Closeness43:00 Commit Phase Mindset48:24 Curating Your Circle50:44 Closing Reflections and Outro