Stop saying, "If I Die..."

My mom often says, “If I die….”I sometimes accidentally say the same thing.The “if” is a cognitive security blanket I pull over my head so I can pretend that death — the only thing every single human being who has ever lived has accomplished — might somehow not apply to me. As though the universe looked at my particular assortment of questionable decisions and said, “This one, we keep.”It will not say that. I am, biologically speaking, a disaster in slow motion. I have a weakening knee. I have eaten gas station sushi. Twice. I once stayed up until 3 am reading reviews for a blender I did not buy.“If I die, give my record collection to someone who will actually appreciate it.”Wrong.“When I die, some stranger at an estate sale is going to pay $4 for a crate containing my entire personality.”The “if” started innocently enough. Parents use it. “If something happens to me...” they say, then trail off.But I’ve decided to stop. As an act of radical honesty, I am replacing every “if I die” with “when I die,” and I am inviting you to join me in this terrifying linguistic journey.Let’s tryBefore: “If I die, make sure the kids know I loved them.”After: “When I die, make sure the kids know I loved them — and also that the router password is taped inside the drawer.”What do you think?Put your thoughts in the comments.ConnectSend me an anonymous voicemail at SpeakPipe.com/FTaponYou can post comments, ask questions, and sign up for my Substack newsletter.If you like this podcast, subscribe and share!On social media, my username is always FTapon. Connect with me on:* YouTube* Facebook* Instagram* X* TikTok* LinkedInSponsors1. My Patrons sponsored this show! Claim your monthly reward by becoming a patron for as little as $2/month at https://Patreon.com/FTapon2. For the best travel credit card, get one of the Chase Sapphire cards and get 75-100k bonus miles!3. Get $5 when you sign up for Roamless, my favorite global eSIM with its unlimited hotspot & data that never expires! Use code LR32K4. Or get 5% off when you sign up with Saily, another global eSIM with a built-in VPN & ad blocker.5. Get 25% off when you sign up for Trusted Housesitters, a site that helps you find sitters or homes to sit in.6. Start your podcast with my company, Podbean, and get one month free!7. In the United States, I recommend trading cryptocurrency with Kraken.8. Outside the USA, trade crypto with Binance and get 5% off your trading fees!9. For backpacking gear, buy from Gossamer Gear10. Get nomadic travel insurance from SafetyWing! Get full access to Francis Tapon at ftapon.substack.com/subscribe