Stop Setting Yourself on Fire To Keep Everyone Else Warm Part 1 episode artwork

EPISODE · Aug 14, 2026 · 34 MIN

Stop Setting Yourself on Fire To Keep Everyone Else Warm Part 1

from Sex, Love, and Addiction · host Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW

Dr. Rob is joined by compatibility specialist Jena Jake. Together they discuss the power of feeling a pain so strong that you are finally ready to stop self-abandoning. They explore the importance of awareness and boundaries, what it looks like to build a life alone, and strategies for carefully choosing the self-talk and blaming that so many of us face in unhealthy relationships.    TAKEAWAYS: [2:03] Jena’s transition from marital therapy to executive coaching.  [3:35] What are we looking for when choosing a partner?  [6:07] Identifying patterns that feel like love.  [8:42] Jena’s ABA formula, including awareness and healthy boundaries.  [12:24] Your inner self needs you to stop giving yourself away.  [15:10] Facing your wake up moment.  [17:00] Yes, you can build a life alone. [17:53] Seen, safe, supported, sought after and satisfied.  [22:28] Rebuilding trust after betrayal.  [27:55] Be careful about self-talk and blame.  [29:50] Jena’s healing journey.    RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101  Seeking Integrity Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment Partner Sexuality Survey   Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES: “What feels familiar isn’t always what’s aligned or what’s good for you.”  “Stop setting yourself on fire to keep everyone else warm.”  “You may not have gotten better, but you did deserve better.”  “I don’t have to trust you, but I do have to trust myself.” 

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Stop Setting Yourself on Fire To Keep Everyone Else Warm Part 1

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