EPISODE · Feb 18, 2026 · 48 MIN
Stop Trying To Make Stick Pussy Happen!
from Distorted View Daily · host Distorted View
On today’s show, Timmy Boo tackles dangerously polite drivers, a brony convention meltdown, and a porn clip that introduces a phrase you’ll never be able to un-hear again. Plus, Florida delivers Valentine’s Day violence via fast-food projectile, and Olympic athletes apparently cannot stop having sex.A prank call from the Honey Baked Horse Company goes wildly off the rails as Agnes is forced to choose her favorite president in exchange for questionable USDA-grade meat.Tim loses his mind over overly courteous drivers at four-way stops, arguing that following the rules is far more efficient than polite hand-waving confusion. Autonomous cars can’t come soon enough.Chris Chan reportedly attended HarmonyCon (a My Little Pony fan convention) despite being previously banned.He was escorted out after being recognized — while dressed as the White Power Ranger in a skirt.Audio surfaces of Chris proclaiming he will “lead people to righteousness” as staff attempt to stop recordings.Tim predicts the inevitable return of peak Chris Chan chaos.Thanks to listener Johnny Wisconsin, Tim reviews a bizarre retro adult film featuring:A phone-sex scenario with hilariously bad acting.A surprise reveal involving multiple performers.The unforgettable phrase of the episode: “stick pussy.”Tim declares the 1990s the greatest decade for absurd adult entertainment.A social-media “alpha coach” explains why:Putting your hands in pockets wrong ruins your masculinity.Bending over to grab a gym bag lowers status.Opening a water bottle incorrectly destroys first impressions.Tim remains skeptical but admits he exudes “stick pussy energy.”Florida:A 27-year-old man was arrested after allegedly throwing a Chick-fil-A spicy chicken sandwich and a cup of blue sports drink at his girlfriend during a Valentine’s Day argument about infidelity. Police found sandwich remnants at the scene. He was released on bond with a no-contact order.Winter Olympics:Organizers rushed to restock free condoms after roughly 10,000 were depleted within days at the athletes’ village. Officials blamed higher-than-expected demand during Valentine’s week. Condom distribution has been standard Olympic practice since 1988 as part of public health initiatives.A listener defends their appreciation for political podcast Congressional Dish.Another listener is traumatized when their yearly photo recap played Jonathan Nighouse audio over family pictures.Join the Sideshow for exclusive episodes and full archives: distortedview.comPatreon perks (including special voicemail access): patreon.com/distortedviewSponsor an episode via PayPal: [email protected]📞 Voicemail: 206-666-4463📱 Text: 4-HARRY-CUNTSpread the distortion — STD.🎤 Cold Open🚗 Tim’s Rant: “Don’t Be Nice — Just Drive”🐴 Lolcow Update: Chris Chan vs. HarmonyCon📼 Listener Submission: 1990s Phone-Sex Porn💪 Alpha Male Advice Corner📰 Distorted News☎️ Voicemails🔗 Support the Show
What this episode covers
On today’s show, Timmy Boo tackles dangerously polite drivers, a brony convention meltdown, and a porn clip that introduces a phrase you’ll never be able to un-hear again. Plus, Florida delivers Valentine’s Day violence via fast-food projectile, and Olympic athletes apparently cannot stop having sex.A prank call from the Honey Baked Horse Company goes wildly off the rails as Agnes is forced to choose her favorite president in exchange for questionable USDA-grade meat.Tim loses his mind over overly courteous drivers at four-way stops, arguing that following the rules is far more efficient than polite hand-waving confusion. Autonomous cars can’t come soon enough.Chris Chan reportedly attended HarmonyCon (a My Little Pony fan convention) despite being previously banned.He was escorted out after being recognized — while dressed as the White Power Ranger in a skirt.Audio surfaces of Chris proclaiming he will “lead people to righteousness” as staff attempt to stop recordings.Tim predicts the inevitable return of peak Chris Chan chaos.Thanks to listener Johnny Wisconsin, Tim reviews a bizarre retro adult film featuring:A phone-sex scenario with hilariously bad acting.A surprise reveal involving multiple performers.The unforgettable phrase of the episode: “stick pussy.”Tim declares the 1990s the greatest decade for absurd adult entertainment.A social-media “alpha coach” explains why:Putting your hands in pockets wrong ruins your masculinity.Bending over to grab a gym bag lowers status.Opening a water bottle incorrectly destroys first impressions.Tim remains skeptical but admits he exudes “stick pussy energy.”Florida:A 27-year-old man was arrested after allegedly throwing a Chick-fil-A spicy chicken sandwich and a cup of blue sports drink at his girlfriend during a Valentine’s Day argument about infidelity. Police found sandwich remnants at the scene. He was released on bond with a no-contact order.Winter Olympics:Organizers rushed to restock free condoms after roughly 10,000 were depleted within days at the athletes’ village. Officials blamed higher-than-expected demand during Valentine’s week. Condom distribution has been standard Olympic practice since 1988 as part of public health initiatives.A listener defends their appreciation for political podcast Congressional Dish.Another listener is traumatized when their yearly photo recap played Jonathan Nighouse audio over family pictures.Join the Sideshow for exclusive episodes and full archives: distortedview.comPatreon perks (including special voicemail access): patreon.com/distortedviewSponsor an episode via PayPal: [email protected]📞 Voicemail: 206-666-4463📱 Text: 4-HARRY-CUNTSpread the distortion — STD.🎤 Cold Open🚗 Tim’s Rant: “Don’t Be Nice — Just Drive”🐴 Lolcow Update: Chris Chan vs. HarmonyCon📼 Listener Submission: 1990s Phone-Sex Porn💪 Alpha Male Advice Corner📰 Distorted News☎️ Voicemails🔗 Support the Show
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Stop Trying To Make Stick Pussy Happen!
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