Stress Management & Spiritual Counseling: Real Help vs. Platitudes - Deacon Randy Kiel

The Problem with Platitudes How many times have you heard—or said—"Don't worry, it'll be okay" to someone in pain? Deacon Randy Kiel explains why such statements disconnect rather than connect, and how disconnection actually increases stress. Real help looks different. Understanding the Stress Progression Deacon Kiel breaks down a critical framework many miss: Stress: The initial reaction to external events. Your body's natural alarm (blood pressure rises, heartbeat increases). Distress: Stress that begins affecting your thinking and emotional processing. Duress: Stress taking over your body; coping mechanisms decline. Decompensation: What many call a "meltdown"—the critical fourth stage where intervention is essential. The goal isn't to eliminate stress (impossible in life) but to prevent escalation to decompensation. Practical Tools for Helping Others in Distress The Don'ts: Don't tell someone to "chill out," "cheer up," or minimize their pain Don't talk people out of their feelings Don't walk away with "I'll pray for you"—follow through matters Don't judge people using medication (antidepressants, anxiety medication) Don't dismiss attention-seeking; recognize it as a natural human need for care Don't tell them to "just get help" without walking alongside them The Do's: Do help people talk their feelings out Do pray with them, not just for them. Ask: "Can I pray with you right now?" Do build trust explicitly: "I will protect your information. I'm here with you." Do recognize presence as ministry—your physical and emotional presence is healing Do walk people to help, not just direct them to it Do integrate faith and medicine without judgment (both are God's creation) Do follow up; don't abandon people after initial conversation Why This Matters for Catholics Deacon Kiel emphasizes the Catholic integration of faith and science. Using medication for depression or anxiety is not a sign of weak faith—it's good stewardship of God's creation. The false dichotomy between "faith healing" and "medical treatment" causes unnecessary spiritual harm. When Someone is in Crisis If you encounter someone in distress or duress, Deacon Kiel's framework helps you recognize where they are and respond appropriately. The goal is to help them before they reach decompensation, where professional intervention becomes necessary. About Deacon Randy Kiel Deacon Kiel serves at Christ the King Parish on the south side of Des Moines and is a regular Thursday contributor to the Catholic Morning Show, where he helps prepare listeners for Sunday Mass readings. He is President of Kardia Counseling. Contact Information: Kardia Counseling Website: kardiacounseling.com Phone: 515-267-0030 Listen Live: The Catholic Morning Show airs weekdays at 7 AM Central on Iowa Catholic Radio (Iowa Catholic Radio dot com or the Iowa Catholic Radio app). Credits: Produced, Edited, and Mixed by Ayden Pugh, Alexia Baker, and Brady Grimm. ENJOYING THE SHOW? Follow The Catholic Morning Show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify so you never miss an episode — and if this one was worth your time, please leave us a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating. It takes ten seconds and it's the single best way to help more people find the show. 🎧 LISTEN LIVE Catch The Catholic Morning Show live, weekday mornings on Iowa Catholic Radio. Listen Live · Program Schedule · Our Stations LINKSYou can follow us on Facebook, Instagram, Youtube, Tiktok! More on our website.If you would like to support Iowa Catholic Radio you can donate Here! More from Iowa Catholic Radio:Sunday Dive with Katie PatrizioMan Up! with Joe StopulosCatholic Women Now with Chris Magruder and Julie NelsonThe Uncommon Good with Bo Bonner and Dr. Bud MarrBe Not Afraid with Fr. Fabian Moncada and Fr. Bruce RiebeBe Not Afraid en Español con el P. Fabián MoncadaMaking it Personal with Bishop William JoensenFaith and Family Finance with Gregory WaddleThe Great Men of the Bible with Joe Stopulos Liturgy & DevotionsThe Daily Gospel Reflection with Fr. Nick SmithThe Daily Mass from St. Francis of AssisiThe Daily Mass from St. Pius XThe Daily Mass from St. TheresaSunday Mass from the Basilica of Saint JohnWant to support your favorite show? Click Here Iowa Catholic Radio - Connecting People to Christ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.