Summer Fingers

At what age should you know never to swim in any small, muddy body of water in Florida? Sooner than 31, we say. Way sooner. Also: Brief July 4th conversation, and Brian once again busts Jeff’s balls for his toilet paper Kleenex gimmick. The guy in Ft. Wayne, Indiana who cut his cock off, set it on fire, and used it to set a garage on fire, b/w Boston Corbett castrated himself. An Oklahoma woman grabbed a firework from her daughter, and promptly put on her Summer fingers. A female Milwaukee cop was knocked out by fireworks, and the way female cops are going, everyone is lucky she didn’t shoot the smoke. We would fly Box Cutter Airlines before Spirit. A tree and a truck were set on fire during some typical low IQ fireworks shenanigans on Oakland. A fireworks explosion sent five people to the hospital, and the news reporter telling you about it looks like Edna Mode. The char b/w who is the pedo in Star Wars? Enough with Metallica, already. 400 arrested in Newport Beach on July 4th – lots of “teens.” The (Rocky) Balboa Peninsula Summer Teeth revisited.