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It is episode 550 of Horror Movie Night. Who would have thought? What? Here we are.
It's because no one has stopped us yet. No one has stopped us. No one has said knock it off. And we decided, let's bring out a heavy hitter.
Let's bring out a classic, a stone-cold classic. At one point, Scott, I don't know if you remember this. At one point early in the show, like I think our first year, we talked about doing this as an April Fool's episode, because at that point, we were intentionally watching bad horror movies, and we thought doing something that is so beloved as our April Fool's episode would have been hilarious. That was technical, huh?
Thanks. This is a guy, yeah, there's lore to Suspiria. Yeah, we've been holding off on this one for a bit. But I think even then, we could still do a funny episode doing what we were doing at that time, because while this movie is a masterpiece in so many ways, it has also got some real cheesy moments, which I definitely made note of as I was writing this plot description.
Bro, you're starting to say this was... You know? Yeah. I think I'd say this is none of our first watch of Suspiria in 1977.
Although it is my second watch. That's all right. Yeah. I watched it in high school.
I want to say like freshman year, and I hated it. Yeah. I was like, there's no plot. Blah, blah, blah.
Like I was like, you know, it goes nowhere. It just looks pretty. I mean, and it kind of... All that kind of still tracks.
Yeah. But like, it was so funny as I was like five minutes into it this time, and I was like, I have watched so much Italian horror since then, and I understand what they were getting at here. I mean, it's our chanceau, so it's our gentle. It's all there is to it.
And so I think that my palette is much more mature. Well, and that's the thing. I think I had a similar vibe. I watched it in college, and I thought it was fine.
Like, I liked the kills, but plotting wise, I was like, I can't even fucking understand what's happening in half of this movie. And I think when the remake came out in 2008, I'm like, I think the remake is a more cohesive movie plot wise. Like, it makes more sense. And I do think that there are amazing moments in that remake.
But I've probably watched this movie more in the last five to 10 years than I have the first 30 years. Because I think I watched it in college and kind of wrote it off. And then I want to say almost 10 years ago, a friend and I were like, let's revisit movies that we were like, lukewarm towards. So we'd watch this end saw in the same night.
And I want to be like, oh, I saw. I feel like never was lukewarm about saw. I never liked saw. And I walked away from that second viewing, also not liking saw that.
Okay. Now, I'm not like saying that there's anything wrong with this liking saw. I am not a fan of the series myself, but I feel like when the first one came out, everybody was like, oh my God. Well, that's what it was.
Everyone had such an oh my God. And I didn't see it in theaters. I saw it a year later when I rented it. Okay.
Okay. But I still don't give a shit because I was bored to tears for an hour and 20 minutes to get here. Okay. So like, I think I just kind of walked away from saw like whatever.
And then rewatching it 10, 15 years later, I still walked away like equally whatever. Yeah. But Suspiria, I was like, I think I like that a little bit more. And then it kind of became this like every two to three Halloween's, I would mix it into my October viewing.
Yeah. And my appreciation grow every single time. So let's dive into this though. Suspiria from 1977 tells the story of Susie Bannon, an American ballet student wishing to push herself.
So she relocates to West Germany at one of the most elite ballet schools, whose name I will not be attempting to say at any point during the podcast. But I do welcome my co-hosts to give it a shot. Not hard pass. I do have a lot to say.
I will turn over and say how much I love Jessica Harper. Just out the gate. God, she is just lovely. There's a note coming up later where I do mention my love of Jessica Harper.
But we're not there just yet. And no one is surprised in the least from the listenership. On her way to the school, Susie sees a student named Pat, who is fleeing the school in terror. Pat goes to a friend's house for the night, but is still killed by a new by a news being thrown around her neck and her being shoved through a glass, Skylight, and Pat's friend is also killed from the falling shards.
It's worth noting that Pat is attacked by a very hairy man, and her face is smushed against the window, which at first is a slightly unintentionally funny way. But it gets more and more horrific, and we get this gnarly close up of her heart just being stabbed by the night. I would say like, I think you saying that it was a hanging death is understating the fact that she's stabbed eight times in the chest. And then, and so it's like insult to entry that she gets hanged, her dead body, because she's pretty much dead by the time she gets tossed through.
That's Dangla's ceiling. Yeah. There's a chance that the hanging doesn't work. You know, there's a long drop and like, we don't know.
There's the stabbing for sure work, but the hanging didn't. I had a, I had a t-shirt in college, late high school and college that just had Suspiria with the hanging victim in blood on my show. It was black and white. I think Rotten Cotton actually had put it out when Rotten Cotton was a thing.
And I remember, like, I had no fucking qualms about just like wearing that around and being worn out of horror fans. You know, that's in school? Yeah, dude. I mean, I guess I went to, I went to film school, so maybe that was war.
Oh, yeah. But then I'm also at the same college. Gotcha. I don't think I wore it in high school.
I definitely wore it in college. But then it's like, just once I leave the safety of my art school basement out into Syracuse University, like, that's not great. Like, that's not a good look. But that being said, while this is definitely like a horror fan's horror movie, and it's probably, you know, most normies out there are not going to know Suspiria, I would argue that this opening kill is like one of the most iconic opening kills of any film of the seven.
Yes. Like, this is even as the years went by when I wasn't watching Suspiria, and I barely remembered anything that happened in the movie, I always remembered this scene and the sequence of events because it is, it is startling. And especially if it's your first G yellow, you're like, this is shocking. Now, like, comparatively, this movie is kind of fairly tame in the grand scheme of some of the shit we've seen in the yellow movies.
But like, that hanging is brutal. Like that close up of her face as that news like just titans and like, you see the last little bit of her life escape out of her face in that moment. You're kind of startled. It is shocking.
Susie arrives to the school the next day. This is where she meets the head trainer, Miss Tanner, and Madam Blanc, the deputy headmistress. Susie also meets Sarah, Olga, and Pavlos, one of the school servants. After a random run-in in the hallway, she passes out in her first dance class.
Here's where I have to make a quick note. I would never be one to criticize Jessica Harper, my favorite actress of the 70s. But her acting after being hit by that bright light as a disoriented person really leaves something to be desired. Honestly, this is not her finest work.
You can enjoy this whole movie. And it's funny because she kind of does that move a lot because I think that it's implied that they're either being drugged or under a spell throughout a significant post-net. She's been marked from day one as the next sacrifice. Yes.
As soon as she was hit by that downpour and got into a cab, we just know right then and there. Things aren't going to go well. Things aren't going to go well. For Jessica.
And this is three years after Phantom of the Paradise, so we know that she can act. I wonder if there's a bit of a language disconnect, right? Because I think she's one of the only American actors in this Italian production. I've always been, Kyle, maybe you have more insight on this.
Like for these gillows where they're bringing in like a Jennifer Connolly or they're bringing in the Jessica Harper, they're shooting this with the intention of this being released in English, right? Or are they all speaking Italian and then a bunch of them are overdubbing it in English after it's been shot? It's English getting ADR over English. They're just...
Okay. Just saying it's very clearly ADR the whole... I think it's almost every single gillow and... Well Italian horror movie that we've watched on this show is...
It's part of the charm I've learned. Yes. Actually, you know what? Credit where credit's due?
I never have to complain about not clearly hearing what someone's saying in any of these Italian It's just watching their mouths being almost right is the part that is... I think that that's where the annoyance came from when I was a kid trying to watch stuff like this and where I get a bit of extra enjoyment because it's charming in its shittiness. Yeah, 100%. There's nothing more you can do.
This is one of the better ones we've watched but there's not much that they can do. I watched because I've seen this movie a ton. I decided to watch it with a commentary track for this and they were talking about how Sesperia particularly... You know, Argento was doing fine in Italy with his earlier films and Deep Red was the thing that kind of got him that mixed his giallo in with more supernatural horror and got more interest in the state so then Fox was going to distribute Sesperia.
And so there was a lot of more intentional American interest and English interest in this particular film. And that's why you get some of those weird TV spots like the one with the skeleton lady and... Listen, listen, listen, don't spoil what the special special feature features are clearly coming back. You're right.
You're right. You know, the bubble letters, the breathing letters, it's... And they knew how to market it. And then also, originally, this was written with the mindset that it was going to be like 12, 13, 14-year-old girls at a ballet school.
Right? But then Fox was like, hey, we can't. We can't do that. We can't do that.
So he saved that for 10 years down the road when he did it. Yeah, with nominal. Yeah. Yeah.
It's... So you just brought this up and I want to go in just the briefest tangent. But I think the worst... Not the worst.
There's a lot of terrible things. But one of my least favorite things that we lost when the streaming war's really kind of killed television is the TV spot, right? Like, because even in an age where trailers spoiled everything, which was even happening in like the 90s and the 2000s, I have always loved the creativity of the like, you've got 25 seconds to sell someone on this movie as they are like watching the Simpsons. Yeah.
And you do get like, you're describing that to spirit. The 70s and 80s horror TV spots are genuinely some of the most enjoyable pieces of promotional material you can find. No, later. I love...
The magic one is like still one of the best. The magic one is so good. The Suspiria one is really good. There was one for...
Well, I guess it wasn't the TV spot, but the letterface, Texas Chainsaw. That was the most... The movie was happening. Yeah.
Yeah. The movie was... The movie was not yet. I don't think the movie was shot.
No. I don't think the movie was filmed. They were just like, we're making one here. Yeah.
Here's the... Basically like... That was the elevator pitch that never happened. I'm gonna...
I'll go... That might be a fun thing to do. Go through and find some of the best TV spots and put that together. You could do like a 10 TV spots video or something.
Oh yeah. At least maybe just from our 550 episodes, just kind of go through and see what has... I mean, I wonder if there's a new art. Well, I don't know if it's really going to be an art per se, but having the TikTok spot, like what can you do in five to 10 seconds to sell your play?
Well, I don't know. I don't see them all the way, but I do see the first three seconds when I log into TikTok and an ad starts playing in the... Right. Three seconds.
You are a slow to the draw when it goes in. I hear a scream and I say, what's this about? Whose video is this? I'm like, oh, that's right.
It's an ad move. Anyway, so... That night maggots from subspoiled food spill on everybody from the ceiling. A gently curvy boy.
Yeah, and the nuggets are forced to sleep in the gym for the night. We get a couple of pieces of exposition, but the basic gist is that Sarah tells Susie that this labored breathing that she can hear past the curtain is actually the breathing of the headmistress, who she's not met. A couple days later, the blind penis is fired after his scene, eye dog bites Madame Blonk's nephew, Albert, and that night while walking his dog turns on him and basically reps his throat out. Yeah.
Bad dog. Sarah tells Susie that she was Pat's former roommate and that the reason Susie had to spend the night in town when she first arrived, because when Susie gets there, someone over to the intercom says, we don't need you here. Come back tomorrow, whatever. She promises to show Susie the notes that Pat had left behind, but when she goes to find them, they're missing.
She's then chased by someone whom she can't see and she runs to hide in the attic, but then falls into a pit of razor wire, which hilariously, she does not look before just jumping into this pit. It's like, it's just for her and the viewer that makes it. You know, and that's my favorite scene of the movie. Always has been, always will be, but you know, it's just so crazy that like, I mean, I don't know, I've never stayed at a ballet school, but it seems odd, an odd thing to have like a floor full of unspooled razor wire at a dance school.
Yeah. And then of course, to add insult to injury, the killer slits her throat as she's trying to get out of it. As if the razor wire wouldn't get the jump on eventually. It's just so overkill, like all of the kills are overkill.
At least that's part of the fun, to a certain extent. Now, would you read the little bit of info about that? She didn't seem that like, that was obviously not real razor wire, it was just wire. And a lot of her panic was because she was getting stuck in the wire.
Yeah. No, I mean, I didn't read that, but I was thinking about, there's a later scene where Susie's attacked by a bat, and I'm like, watching it, I'm like, that's a real bat that is just screeching at Jessica Harper for an uncomfortably long time. Like in a normal movie, this would be like a 10 second bat scaring in this movie. It's like four and a half minutes.
Well, it's a great thing. He loved nothing more than to torture young women with creepy crawlies. Well, I think it's like their fingers off. The other side of that is the bat did have a contract and you at least three minutes of steam.
That is true. You know, you got to work past the animal ride requirements because it was the bat old enough so that it wasn't working too long. You know, it was a minor. It was like a 70s.
It was like a 70s. Yeah. All right. So Sarah's sudden disappearance.
No bat child labor laws. Sarah's sudden disappearance makes Susie suspicious. So she goes to find Sarah's friend, Frank, the exposition machine man. Oh, yeah.
And he looks here. He tells Susie the entire history of the school, specifically that the school was established in 1895 by Helena Marcos, who was believed to be a witch. Something that's crazy to think about. And I don't know if you guys talked to time to think about this, but he's like, the school was established in 1895.
And me in 2026, I'm like, man, that's so long ago. But then it dawned on me that that was only like 88 years ago from when this movie came out, which is like, you know, when you hear like 1895 in 2060, anybody that helped establish that school's long dead. It's like, oh, no, like I guess feasibly kids who attended that school when it first open would possibly still be alive today. Anyway, that was just a weird thought I had.
But then she also talks to the professor of the occult every college has one. And he and he tells her that a coven draws its power from its leader. But if the leader is killed, the coven will very quickly perish. By the time Susie returns to the school after just an info dump, she finds that the entire school is empty, taking advantage of the basically abandoned school.
She explores Madame Blanc's office and finds a hidden corridor. There, she finds all the instructors being led by Blanc and are plotting her death in the form of a human sacrifice. She finds Sarah's disfigured corpse while trying to hide, but then is chased by Pavlos. She hides in a bedroom that turns out to be the bedroom of Helena Marcos, who ends up being the headmistress based on the labored breathing that she heard earlier.
Uh, Helena is awoken when Susie breaks a decorative peacock light. And my god, I just want to give a quick shout out here to whatever man, because I fully and believe that it is a man voicing Helena Marcos is like a hundred and a year old corpse. He's like, you thought you were going to get me. He's like, it's amazing.
This is when Marcos turns herself invisible and reanimates Susie's corpse to it. Rhea animates Sarah's corpse to attack Susie. So many S words, people who save start with the S are servants of snakes. There's a bright lightning flash, which reveals Marco's silhouette.
And Susie is able to stab her in the neck, causing her death and causing Sarah's corpse to disappear in the academy to explode. And thus we draw to the conclusion of Susie Maria, 1977. Well done. Well done.
You could have got lost in the sauce. You could have got tangled up in the razor wire that all. I'm glad you didn't say it because honestly I haven't fucked. I'll tell you a little bit of my secret.
A lot of it is watching the movie and having the wiki opened up to the plot summary right next to me and making decisions in real time of this is unnecessary details on the Wikipedia from my watch right now. So I'm going to just remove those details and just get to the nitty gritty. Rose and lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes. Sounds like Ojo time.
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I did the plot summary, but this wasn't specifically my pick. I want to go last. I want you guys to go first on this one. Okay.
I'll jump in. This was hard. When I think about it immediately, I'm just thinking of other Argento work. This feels like such a singular specific film that is not touched by many other things.
But what I could do is I could go and watch the Argento version of 1978's Dawn of the Dead. And I feel like that would be just a fun, horror historical side by side piece without getting too deep into the thematics of it. All right. Scott, how about you?
So I originally had something else planned, but as we've been talking about how inconsequential the plot is for this movie and how it's really just about vibes and visuals, I think that it would make a lot of sense to do Phantasm with it. Oh, wow. Nice. I don't know if that would actually be the night that I would want, but it's still pretty damn good night.
That's fun. I think it's interesting as we're sitting here and as we've been doing more and more Argento movies, it's like I can movie critic say that this is like the four and a half five star movie that is shot beautifully and is like probably Argento's best film while also knowing that nine times out of 10 if you put those two movies in front of me, like I'm going to go with the other movie every single time, whether it's picking up Phantasm or picking up Phenomena or picking up most of his movies. Actually, if you put any Argento movies in front of me, I'm going to pick almost any of the most. Phantasm isn't an Argento.
It isn't. It isn't. But I guess it has a very similar vibe. It really does.
I'm I'm going to give you guys. Listen, if you have not watched a bunch of the big horror movies from 2025, you should hit 30 second skip button because there's a slight spoiler here, but I'm going to pick another movie that I was really into and then was like, Oh, it's about witches weapons. Oh, fair. Yeah.
So just I don't know. That's always there's a there's a Simpsons joke where some one of the writers of a show says anytime you're confused by why that happened. Just think that a wizard did it. And that sometimes feels like the explanation to supernatural things in a lot of horror movies where someone like writes themselves in a corner and they're like, but if a witch did it, then everything's okay.
Right. If you want it to be based in reality, it's a dream. If you want some fantastical supernatural element, it's a witch or a wizard. And I think that that's a great, I think those are great problem solving tools.
And again, I like both of the films that we watch and the one I'm suggesting is a double feature, but they both have a similar oh shit. I've got to find a way to make this makes sense. It doesn't need to make sense because it's magic. Exactly.
Speaking of magic, come to creature feature weekend March 20th to the 22nd for a magical time with your horror movie night team. We'll be there doing panels and all that good jazz. And Kyle, you have something to promote as well, I believe. Yes.
So if you are not making it down to Pennsylvania, but you're up in New England, my short film always on we playing at the Norwalk Film Festival that same weekend, the 21st and the 22nd. And then we're also playing New Bedford Film Festival, April, the festival is April 9th through the 12th in New Bedford, Massachusetts. It's a film that I it's a comedy short film that I directed and friend and fellow podcaster Evan Fonseca wrote in Stars in it. And we're really excited because this is the beginning of our festival run with it this year.
I got to see it last year. It's so good. Thank you. Thank you.
It's a little bit different than what I've done in the past, but there's definitely some elements of what I bring to the table. There's a fun in the void scene that has some fun horror elements. And then we do some really wacky shot on dead media stuff. And then there's also some heart to it.
So I'm really proud of it. I'm really happy about it. And I'm glad that we're going to be at least starting in New England and then hopefully taking it out elsewhere. Love that.
Also with love if you guys went to hmnpuckets.dashry.com buy some shirts. We just uploaded. I don't think we ever said this on the show. We uploaded like six eight-bit horror movie designs on there that I think are cool as hell.
So you should go and check those out. Also hit us up on our socials hmn podcast on basically every social media app that you can think of. Go to patreonpatreon.com backslash hmn and podcast and visit our website at hmnpuckets.com to see our entire backlog. And now before we wrap up episode five hundred and fifty, I must ask you guys, what is something that you watch, listen to, read, etc.
that you want to talk about? Speaking of Don Caskarelli, I just started it. So this, but my excitement in my enjoyment already is through the roof. I started True Indie by Don Caskarelli, which is sort of like his memoir and almost broken down into like little vignettes of him doing no to low to some budget filmmaking, but really doing everything completely independently through and through.
And it's really, it's inspiring. It's weird. It's like, how the fuck did he do that? I think if you've read any of like, Coughman's stuff about filmmaking, you'll like this.
If you haven't, you'll still like this because I think it's also a little less self involved as Lloyd's is, even though Lloyd's, you know, just for those who have been looking into sort of like low budget or no budget filmmaking stuff from the past, it's really a great collection of stories and antidotes and stuff from Don Caskarelli and from the Phantasm series particularly so far. But I know that he's going to be getting into Bubba Hotep and the Beast Master stuff and so on. So so far, so good. Really enjoying it.
Love that. How about you, Scott? So I couldn't sleep the other night and I was like, I just need something. And I was scrolling around on I Wanna Say HBO Max and popped on Werewolves from, I guess that was 2024.
Did you guys watch the movie with Frank Rillo? I don't think I did though. It is very silly. It's got a lot of gun violence.
The director, it's his only horror movie, it's a horror action movie, but it just, the guy mostly does like gun violence action movies anyway. So that's fine. It has a really convoluted plot. But the concept is that there's like, it's one year later from the day that a super moon turned one billion people in the world into werewolves and tons of people died.
Tons of people were murdered by werewolves. And so there, a new super moon is coming and Frank Grillo, honestly, I think this is the biggest logical leap that I had in the movie. He's a scientist. I don't think Frank Grillo is playing a scientist very often, but he's a scientist and he is trying to create, they have created a thing called Moonblock, which is basically like, or Moonscreen rather, I think is what it's called.
And it's basically sunscreen, but it keeps people from turning its werewolves during the super moon. It works until it doesn't. Then he has to go across town because it's in San Francisco, but this is happening worldwide, to try to save his sister-in-law and niece from their neighbor who has turned into a werewolf. I mean, because there are a bunch of werewolves and they work as packs.
So there's a lot of gun violence. It's very funny because the werewolves are, they look awesome, first of all. They're almost exclusively, I think that they're almost exclusively practical. I mean, they're probably CGI added.
But I mean, I will admit that the transformations are shitty, but the actual werewolves are sick. Like for 2024, that was kind of cool. I'm really impressed with the way the werewolves looked when they were actually werewolves. The werewolves are basically able to take a clip from an AR-15 and not go down, but then some people can go one-on-one with them.
So it's a very silly movie, but it also really feels like a 90-minute movie. I don't know if it was long enough, but it felt like a 90-minute movie and kind of like, got to the point, I enjoyed it thoroughly, was not expecting to even finish it without falling asleep. But I was like, up at 3-3 in the morning, like, wow, this is kind of fucking fun, you know? So it's a soft recommend.
I love that. I am going to go off the harbeat and path, which I feel like I would do it a lot this year, but that's fine. So the shifts for. I've learned, I talked about this earlier when we talked about Wake Up Dead Man.
I've learned that one of the things that seems to always do it for me is a murder mystery where it is the world's most intelligent detective solving the case, whether it's like a murder on the Orient Express adaptation or any of the knives-out movies. And I'd heard good things about this show on Netflix. So Barb and I finally watched the residents have either of you watched or even heard of this. Nope.
So the premise of this eight episode show is that someone is murdered at the White House during a state dinner and they have to bring in a detective to solve the mystery. What I think is fascinating, and I didn't realize this until halfway through it, this is based on a book, but it's not based on a fictional book. It's not like, oh, there's already this murder mystery book. It's based on a book from like 2004 about the employees of the White House.
Like a journalist did this whole thing about like all the hidden secrets of how the White House operates and like where the secret passageways are. And I guess someone read that book and was like, this is like clue. Like this house has secret passageways. So they took that book as a blueprint and crafted this very intriguing murder mystery of like, what happens when the head usher of the White House is murdered?
And there is a reason for every employee, including the president and various high powered people to have been the reason why this man was murdered. And like it's got that nice, there's like that nice blurring the lines of political satire where the whole show is being told by a Senate hearing because the murder was declared a suicide, but everybody's questioning it. And like Al Franken plays one of the senators on the committee, which is like a great piece of stunt casting there. But then there's an actress there who's playing a character named Marjorie who is a conspiracy theorist who's obsessed with like they have these nice little like without ever actually addressing what's happening in our world.
Like there's still those little political jabs all throughout it where you're like, I don't know, I just I was really, really charged by it. So if you're a fan of something like knives out, this is a nice like, I would not say like sit down for a weekend and watch it because they are like heavy episodes. But maybe say like all this week we're going to watch one episode at night and like keep the mystery alive over eight nights. It's a pretty fun watch in that lens.
We even got the kids kind of invested. They weren't watching the first four episodes, but then when we, you know, they were like, we don't know what to do. And we're like, well, we're really invested in this murder mystery. We're going to put on an episode and then they were like, can we, can we, I want to know who killed that guy.
So I do recommend it. It's not a bad time. And speaking of not a bad time, we've done 550 episodes of horror movie night and I don't think we show any signs of slowing down. I know that we don't because we're doing an episode next week.
So tune in next week for even more horror movie night. One is the rewards go further. Now a shell scene plus members can fill up on points at the pump on snacks, car wash and more. Plus, Scotia bank and Tangerine card holders can get up to 10 cents per liter in value with a linked card.
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