SYPM 016: Getting it right from the start with a new baby

In this episode we do something we haven’t done before - talk with podcast listeners who aren’t parents yet!   Kellie and Jon are an amazing couple living in Tennessee.  Kellie is a bit of a planner (by which I mean that during her Ph.D program Jon noticed Kellie was getting stressed about when they were going to have a baby, so she led them through a four-hour planning session factoring in the baby’s birth and ages at likely dates for her to enter post-doctoral programs and fellowships and landed on February 2021 as the optimal time to conceive - so they started trying in February and she got pregnant in February!).   Jon, by contrast, is a go-with-the-flow kind of guy.  He’s the kind of person who just knows everything is probably going to turn out OK without needing to worry about the details too much.  He already knew Kellie was going to be a great parent, while she was much less convinced - although now she knows that babies drink milk rather than water, she’s off to a running start!   Kellie devoured all the pregnancy podcasts she could find (my favorite is the Pregnancy Podcast - host Vanessa basically does the same thing I do here at YPM for the pregnancy stage) and then moved onto the child development podcasts, which is how she found YPM - and she was drawn to the research-based information she found here.   Jon describes the whole experience as an “uncertainty sandwich” - there was a lot of uncertainty in the beginning about whether and when they’d be able to have a baby: “and then it really certain really fast!”  And after that it became uncertain again as they looked to figure out what life with a baby would be like.   Jump to highlights 01:00 Kellie & Jon are expecting parents who have just gone through the Right From the Start Course 02:25 Kellie and Jon’s background: Jon grew up in a home where he had older women in their family who looked after him and younger nieces that he was also a caretaker of, and Kellie grew up in a very structured environment that revolved around school and gymnastics, and things being planned out 07:05 Planning out when to get pregnant with the least amount of distractions, to when Kellie works on her doctorate, and the Uncertainty Sandwich 11:02 What were your thoughts when the point of certainty had passed, and you're getting into the moment where there was a lot of worry and anxiety? 18:01 Jon realized that to truly support Kellie in their pregnancy meant supporting her in a way that makes sense for her 19:27 How the podcast helped Kellie and Jon 20:33 What made you decide to take the Right From the Start course? 22:38 Joining the group class was the first time I actually felt excited to parent as opposed to just feeling nervous and anxious 26:35 “I had not thought of parenting as this potentially really diplomatic, really egalitarian, loving process” 31:31 We don't have to know exactly what's gonna work best from the start, but we can figure it out together 34:24 I feel like we're not just going to be okay, like we can actually thrive, and that our baby can actually thrive   Links to resources: Right From the Start CourseYour Parenting Mojo Facebook GroupUpbringing with Hannah and Kelty