SYPM 018: No Set Bedtime with Gila and Katherine

When I interviewed Dr. Chris Winters last year, I described how we’ve been using a No Set Bedtime method with our daughter Carys.  He used it with his children starting in the Elementary years, and his eyes nearly fell out of his head when I told him we’d been using it since Carys was about three.   In the email about the Dr. Winters interview, I asked any listeners who wanted to learn more about this method to be in touch, so in this episode we’ll meet listeners Katherine and Gila.  Katherine’s daughter is three and Gila’s son is seven, and in this episode I explain the No Set Bedtime approach and then they pepper me with questions about how to make it work in their families.     We recorded our conversation back in November 2021, and in January I followed up with them to see how it’s going.  I share their feedback and my ideas on what’s going well and what they might adjust.   [embed]https://vimeo.com/671735528[/embed]   Jump to highlights 01:32 Introduction to the episode and guests Gila and Katherine 05:42 How Jen and her family arrived at no set bedtime 19:09 Gila's worry: will her son binge on staying up, like unrestricted sugar? 25:10 Katherine's dinner struggle and its ripple effect on bedtime 27:24 The difference between a limit and a boundary 31:39 Why setting a boundary requires getting clear on your own needs first 33:58 Rethinking connection time: does self-care have to mean a separate room? 39:05 How to know it's time to adjust: resistance and resentment as signals 50:08 Does using the bedroom for play affect a child's ability to sleep there? 52:03 What to do when a parent wants to go to bed before the child does 55:08 How this might look different with more than one child in the house