Taheripour, M. (2020). Bring Yourself: How to Harness the Power of Connection to Negotiate Fearlessly. Avery.

Bring Yourself redefines negotiation as a lifelong, human-centric practice centered on self-awareness and authentic connection, asserting that anyone can be an effective negotiator by leveraging their personal strengths rather than adopting an aggressive, cutthroat persona.The Power of Narrative and Self-Worth: Negotiation begins with the internal story you tell yourself. If your narrative is driven by self-doubt or imposter syndrome, you will project that insecurity, leading you to set lower goals and accept subpar deals. Conversely, believing in your value and identifying the strength of your assets before the interaction allows you to lead from a position of leverage rather than fear.Empathy as a Strategic Asset: Empathy is not a weakness that leads to "giving away the house," but a strategic tool that allows negotiators to understand the emotional state and underlying needs of their counterpart. By figuratively walking in another’s shoes, you can identify the "why" behind their demands and discover concessions that cost you little but matter significantly to them.Avoiding the "Pleaser" Trap: Many negotiators reflexively say "yes" to avoid conflict or be liked, but this often leads to "missing the moment to negotiate" and creates long-term resentment. Setting clear boundaries and realizing that saying yes to a demanding client often means saying no to your own critical self-care is essential for sustained success.Cultivating Radical Presence: Being fully in the moment is a "superpower" that enables you to notice subtle nonverbal cues that reveal information the other side isn't saying out loud. Distractions, especially technology like smartphones, act as "kryptonite" because they filter information and signal a lack of respect.Abundance vs. Scarcity Mindsets: A scarcity mindset leads to "dog-cone" thinking, where negotiators focus only on grabbing a slice of a limited pie. Assuming abundance (there is enough for everyone) allows for interest-based negotiation, which shifts the focus from winning a one-way gain to collaborative problem-solving that expands the "pie" for everyone.Managing Bias and the Illusion of Transparency: Negotiators must guard against "System 1" (intuitive/reflexive) thinking which triggers biases, to engage "System 2" (conscious/deliberate) thinking. It's also vital to overcome the "illusion of transparency" (false belief that your feelings and intentions are obvious to others) by clearly and authentically communicating your perspective rather than assuming it is understood.Strategic Information Sharing: While many hold information close out of fear, assuming abundance encourages forthrightness and transparency. Proactively sharing objective market data can educate the counterpart, establish credibility, and trigger a psychological response where the other side feels more comfortable sharing their own sensitive information.Claiming Power Through Authenticity: Leverage is ultimately about perception and how you bring yourself to the table. Rather than apologizing for being "different" (whether due to gender, race, or age), successful negotiators treat these unique qualities as competitive advantages. If you lack confidence, utilize "Jedi mind tricks" (e.g. power posing, imagining a strong alternative offer) to physically and mentally shift your state into one of higher power.Negotiating with Bullies: When facing a bully, matching their shouting or aggression is rarely effective. Instead, rely on your preparation and empathy to understand their insecurities while "resting in your power" by knowing your leverage and being willing to walk away from a bad deal.