Taking Our Temperature

In this story, we take our temperature. I’m Joanne Greene.Now I understand why the elderly have always worn cardigans. They’re easier to put on and take off when our collective thermostats die.Case in point. This morning. There was frost on the ground, so I bundled up before taking my dog and grand dog for a forest therapy walk in the woods. Gloves, a beanie, and a parka seemed about right. And it was. For about 10 minutes. Then, off came the hat; I’ve never liked things on my head. Fifteen minutes later, the gloves came off…and I don’t mean that metaphorically. It was actually warm, in the way that California sun can trick you into believing that summer is approaching, even when plants are frozen. Eventually, dogs bounding around, in and out of mud puddles, off leash, it occurred to me that I had to keep track of all the items I was holding….gloves, hat, leashes, phone, headphones. You get the picture.It made me think of yesterday, when the family room felt so cold that I pulled a big cushion up to the fireplace and flipped the switch to get the fire going. I know…is it really a fire when you don’t need kindling? Answer: yes. We live in fire country. Case closed.I warmed up in minutes and, soon, was losing layers. Too hot. Too cold. Why can’t I seem to get it right? Did I worry about any of this when I was younger? Absolutely not. I grew up in freezing conditions and we wore knee socks and skirts walking to school in the winter. Did we talk about frigid thighs? Never. We just took it for granted that that’s how we were supposed to feel in winter. And then there was summer, which brought not just heat but stifling humidity…the kind that has you showering multiple times a day because as soon as you dry off, you’re bathed in perspiration again. Boys sweat; girls perspire. What?My husband’s hands and feet are always cold. It’s the price he pays for low blood pressure which, on balance, is a good tradeoff. But the downside is that we’re regularly negotiating about room temperature, when to turn the fire on and off, whether to leave the glass door in our bedroom open – just a sliver – when he says it’s unacceptably cold. Some couples have issues over money. Not us. We see eye to eye on just about everything, except for the damn temperature. “Is it hot in here?” I ask. Again. And again. And again. He arrives in the kitchen, having crossed the garage from his office to get there, and 9 times out of 10, he’s shivering. Are we going to have to heat the garage? Buy tiny heating pads for his feet? Install fans on every side table so that I don’t have to run out into the backyard mid-streaming show to feel a breeze? I don’t think so. Instead, maybe we just stock up on cardigans.Joanne’s book, “By Accident: A Memoir of Letting Go” is now available from your favorite online book seller. Stay tuned to hear if Joanne will be speaking at a bookstore near you. If you’re interested in having her come to your local bookstore, contact her directly at [email protected] or get updates on her website at joanne-greene.com and make sure to sign up for her newsletter!Joanne’s book, “By Accident: A Memoir of Letting Go” is now available from your favorite online book seller. Stay tuned to hear if Joanne will be speaking at a bookstore near you. If you’re interested in having her come to your local bookstore, contact her directly at [email protected] or get updates on her website at joanne-greene.com and make sure to sign up for her newsletter!