Tangled Relationbabyships

Hi Goodness, I have a friend, J, who has placed himself in the middle of a telenovela during 2018. He ended a 10 yr relationship with his girlfriend, M and is now pursuing a new Love with L. He and M had been trying to have a baby when they were together and now that they’re apart still want to continue this IVF process. He hadn’t told L this was his plan of having a child with an ex girlfriend and also make a new life with her. Fast forward to two months and now M is pregnant, L is somewhat in the picture and J is excited to become a father yet couldn’t be in the same room with his family bc he’s afraid of being judged for his decisions. I’ve tried to be a friend and listen. It seems like such a mangled chosen mess that sometimes I don’t know how to help. Thanks! Friend of Complicated J