Tanya Class 3 - The primal lie, fragmented consciousness and the nervous system

The deep need for attachment and the pain of feeling separate/ disconnected is at the core of one’s experience of being human. In the book Body-centred psychotherapy, Ron Kurtz describes it as the cause of all psychological pain: ‘The primal and most destructive illusion is the false distinction between self and other. “self” here doesn’t even mean you’re a person or a body or anything like that. It means you perceive and live a basic separateness. This is the primal lie’.…. ‘We see each other as separate objects because we see through our eyes (all senses are encoders) and because we have learned to think of ourselves and others in this way’…. ‘The big break comes when we decide that we are separate. We further separate ourselves into minds and bodies, and then mind itself splits into pieces’…. ‘The drive to unite is the healing force. The process of communication organizes parts into wholes. That’s the healing’… ‘We embrace unity when we bring attention to aspects of ourselves and others that are in isolation and conflict. We embrace it when our way is acceptance and curiosity; when our goal is to bring together all aspects of the person: mind/mind, mind/body, and self/universe; when we know as part of our being that we are connected, to each other and this world. that knowing is the healing power of this work. ‘ Chassidus teaches about the unity of all things, the unity of G-d, and that one couldn’t be disconnected even if they tried. It teaches that the illusion of disconnection is the primary Klipa (shell or block), it is the reason why people feel the need to prove themselves, judge themselves, defend themselves or abandon themselves. It is what drives one to spend a whole lifetime looking for ways to achieve approval (so they will feel they belong and are worthy of love). It is why one cares about what others think, why one feels so much pain when alone and why a life without attachment leads one to find ways of coping with the pain, such as addictions, keeping oneself very busy, fears and defenses, numbness, anxiety, depression, OCD etc. Whatever the case, one can infer how much one cares about connection by looking at the lengths one is willing to go, to fill the void when it is lacking. Knowing that one is connected and loved is of limited use if one doesn’t experience this as a reality. To bridge the gap between what one knows and what one experiences one needs to go through a process of inner work (Avoda). Not only to ask questions and gain clarity but to find all the fragmented parts of one’s inner world and begin to connect with them again, creating an inner wholeness, leading to an experience of connection.