Tenderoni Hotline #34: How Do You Deal With Someone Who Always Plays the Victim?

Tenderoni Hotline #34: What do you do when every boundary, request, or honest conversation somehow gets turned back around on you?In this Tenderoni Hotline episode, we explore victim mindset dynamics in relationships and the exhausting emotional loops they create, especially for folks healing codependency, people pleasing, and emotional outsourcing.This conversation unpacks what happens when someone consistently positions themselves as the harmed party whenever accountability enters the room. Whether it shows up through defensiveness, collapse, chronic excuses, or even the weaponization of therapy and nervous system language, these dynamics can leave you questioning your reality, minimizing your needs, and carrying emotional responsibilities that were never yours to begin with.We talk about why emotionally outsourced folks are especially vulnerable to these patterns, how gaslighting can hide inside “healing” language, and why trying harder to explain yourself rarely changes the dynamic. Most importantly, we explore what it looks like to stay anchored in yourself instead of disappearing into someone else’s story about who you are.If you’ve ever left a conversation feeling confused, guilty for having needs, or responsible for managing someone else’s emotional state, this episode is for you.Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected] Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join The Shift today!You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshiftThe Shift