So you do it in your ass. Yeah. How do you do it in your ass? I'll show you.
I'll take two big tits. Ha ha ha. Do you think I'm smarter than the Malaysian president? You remember the first time you stuck here?
100% Two. Why are you guys? I'm the boss. I'm the boss.
I'm the west coast on the boss. And by the way, what up in Evelyn boss? I am. Hey guys, it's Burke Kreicher.
The boss of Two Bears One gave. And there's my wife bringing in the scissors. And I got next to me, West Coast Tom, who has switched out a luxury vehicle every single day. And high-end clothes.
What are we wearing today, Tom? You don't want a free palace tonight, but you don't think? So I got hooked up. Thank you, McLaren.
They sent me the. We have a hard time with our retainer today. I got a cough drop in too. Oh, OK.
OK. I have to. OK. Yeah.
No. They sent me the New York tour and I drove that for a day. It was really cool. Thank you very much, McLaren.
I'm pretty sure we're weathering the driver then. That's why I don't have it today. Really? Yeah.
We've been a nightmare drive. Yeah. I like the one. I almost bought the car you had.
My friend has not my car. It's a friend let me know. I know it's you know what I mean? I mean, I'm not.
I'm not fair. Exactly. Yeah. You know, Matt, the fuck Matt.
So what are you wearing today? I like your t-shirt. Thank you. This is a vintage gap t-shirt.
This is I would tell you this is when a t-shirt gets its best. These are polyester t-shirts and it's once it starts fraying on the inside. Like this is an old t-shirt and I love this. We have one t-shirt like this in college.
Actually, I love that shirt. It's so comfortable. It's so old. Do you remember in college when you'd get a shirt that everyone kind of loved and you'd steal it from each other?
Sure. I think it was like Jimmy had it. Our roommate Jimmy had it and it was just a perfectly gray like this worn out and it was like a baseball shirt. I had like name a baseball team on it like that he had played for in high school and we would go around stealing that shirt.
And once you got it, you'd wash it and you'd put it in your clothes and then when you wore it, that's what the shirt is. I love this shirt. I love what I do love and I pulled a tummy and made it rain in New York. Did you really?
James Pers. I know you love James Pers. You did the gangster move when we were at the Daytona 500. You pulled out a crisp James Pers with a tag on it.
Secret time? Secret time? That's why Leanne had scissors. That's not Leanne.
Sorry. That's why Leanne had scissors earlier. I had some fresh James Perses. They feel amazing.
Well, there's two. Look, I would love to get James Perses as a guest bear. Either you me or you who ever gets them. You know what he likes to do also.
Oh, Fauciks. Probably. But he buys houses and just designs like he's got great taste. This was my idea.
And then he, this was my idea. This was my idea. You know that right? You're James Pers.
No, I came up there before James Pers. I guarantee it. Don't Google James Pers right now. Where the Fauci Rachel?
Right? So I, I, yeah. So I had an idea with Bobby Flay and Dallas outside of a bar. You were doing this?
This is a true story. And so I sat with Bobby Flay and he said to me, we were talking about our loyalty to Scripps. We both worked at Scripps. I know what a great company it was to work for.
All the dudes that ran Scripps. Not, not, not, not, that owned it. The CEO, the CEO, all those men were some awesome fucking men that were generous and kind and insightful and they were like men and they would tell you how to be a man. They had to be a better man.
These are executives. And they were approachable and they'd hang with you. They'd come up and they'd be like, have a drink with you and talk to you. I loved those guys.
Well, Bobby Flay was really good friends with all of them. They treated him like fucking gold. Bobby was like their golden goose. He, whatever he touched with the home run.
Yeah. And Bobby said to me, the beauty is don't worry about your money at Scripps. It's your side projects. That's where the big, he goes, when I open a restaurant, I, you know, I have the backing of this big network where everyone's a fan of mine and I get fans from all around the world wanting to come to my restaurant when you're in the house.
That's the money move. He goes, what's your money move? And I said, he's like a bar? Like, is your party guy?
And I was like, no. Airbnb, Bert. Airbnb, and I set it up for Bert and I said, I go, and but here's the cool thing. I use my research and my insight into like a place like Costa Rica, or Rome or, or places I've been, but maybe not Rome Rome is not about it.
Costa Rica is a perfect idea because Costa Rica is so big and so vast that it's going to take, you'll never really know exactly where to go. Yeah. I did the research then I buy the house, I filled up all the shit I love. Free just stocked with beer margaritas.
We got the rocks tequila, all my friends send in their shit and then I have got like Adam Richmond, scope out all the restaurants get you. And so basically getting a concierge service when you rent my Airbnb, but it's not the That cool and slick and hot it's like fun as fucking shit It's a house on the beach where the waves break small I can tell you and then I have hookups throughout from all the travel channel She did so you can do all the shit we don't travel channel. I love it And so I know I'm hit dude if you have a hedge fund and you want to do this hit me I think you should be like head to toe James break. You know, he's a malibu guy That's your vibe dude.
You should be head to toe James purse all the time James purse is a bad motherfucker So I roll in in the so-ho store. It's a block It's a block from someone's podcast Yeah, so it's so I roll in and I'm like I go just make it rain They're like what? I'm you know, it's I'm srasad basil time. I'm rasalbaz with me Yeah, and like what do you mean?
I go every color? It's online. It's just you can do it. It's yeah I go just rasalbaz with every fucking color every fucking color I'm sure and they're like okay They make the subtle mistake of grabbing the higher-end shirt Yeah, which is a price point and which I do not buy t-shirts now If I told you how much the low-end t-shirt cost you would throw your flip-flop at this screen right now It's crazy shut the fuck up, but they're comfortable shirts and they break in well They turn into they all turn into like a great fucking shirt So they put everything on I was like whoa what's that bill and they were like yeah?
I go hang on another one that's half that price when I say half the price Google how much a James shirt turns to Shop mens just shop mens and so they go back to the other ones and then I got a pair I got a tracksuit of James first tracksuit and she was and And then I was done you are the tracksuit was ridiculous expensive from him. Yeah. Oh, yeah, and by the way If you look like Pete so Pete like saved up the vice or yeah, of course I was like I'll just buy it for you. So I bought it for him and when Pete wears it That's what it's supposed to look like.
Yeah, here's the body of it. It looked good on you Thanks goes to make my goal is to wear a four a shirt. Look at him on the left right there The front of the one on the right the far right those that's the ones I bought right there pit Lake Yeah, the short sleeve crew neck and I got some fiendex. What is that like that's the one though?
That's the price point? What is it $80 for a t-shirt? That's a lot a lot, but I but here's the deal. I'm clean out my closet I'm only gonna have James first because I love them.
You gotta get rid of shit though Me too, but I've been doing it for a while now. Yeah, but you get rid of expensive shit. I do I have a hard time getting out of concert shirts I I donate I donate it makes you feel good to donate to poor people. Yeah You know how fucking one of those pores feels when you give them a fucking like coaching I think you had follow through with the when you donate to the poorest.
Yeah, well like sometimes they wear it to the show Like they'll be like no like a jacket. I gave her like this shot you gave me this Yeah, I don't think anyone I don't think anyone won't want what I have I have a lot of I have okay If I was gonna clean up my closet, I would get rid of I have a Ridiculous amount of tracksuits like an obnoxious amount track suits if I just cleaned out tracksuits hoodies and t-shirts I'd have a normal looking closet. I tell you something Yeah, if you did that I guarantee you you would feel so good about it really yes It is like if you're like clean up your desk, and you're like goddamn finally like you'll feel it's like cleaning out a room or a car Like it feels great and here's the thing because you have new stuff going in you're like that's right I made room for this new stuff this new stuff coming in get rid of this bullshit that is just taking up space I have four blue North Face vests four of the same color the four and when we were in Copenhagen there was a North Face store and I walked in and I was like well like this blue and Pete said I'm not letting you buy it I went I try to go apart. No one told me what to do.
Yeah, no I was like I'm buying out I said I said be very careful what you say I go by every single one of the ones and all the Different sizes and I'll hand them up people on the street don't ever tell me that he was like okay I was just saying if Lee Ang sees you come up with another fucking vet blue I have and I buy a lot of the same things I like things here's my problem. We're all like that. I have a problem. I actually would not have a problem.
I'm being dead serious I'm today. I don't know what I'll ever be home again again. Yeah, I don't like it. I think in late April home I swear to God.
Here's what I'll do. I don't have expensive stuff But if I know it's going to someone who would love it. This is what I did like like I'm talking about fucking bad ass shirts Like like fucking bit like a short like this like a old school vintage shirt that like and I want like this sounds really Can you give me some advice though? Are you gonna give away stuff?
Yeah, the mistake is trying to give away a bunch of individual items To a bunch of individual. It's a lot of work to coordinate Like 30 shirts or jackets or vests to 30 people you should consolidate and give a few people multiple items Really? Yeah, what I was gonna do. What if I did this?
Yeah, what if I made a t-shirt? This is I have one of bird shirts and then if you buy that t-shirt for like what I'm just saying I want to cover it shipping So you buy one of those sure I have one of bird shirts. Yeah, put another one of my shirts in there same size as what you bought Oh, sorry, they're all I've put yeah, yeah, yeah Same size for you. Oh, you want a medium?
Yeah, I got that for you. You have a lot of mediums bird I I I don't Weeks about two weeks That's what we do Rachel. That's a good idea we do. I bought one of bird shirts You know how much of a logistical nightmare?
How many sure you gonna do this with All right scratch this idea right now You're just thrown in a bag and take it to goodwill you're gonna fucking hate that you did this so much I Have a good new hour like all the shit you told me is all fucking stuff for a new hour that other thing fucking murdered What which one the thing that I did live with you? You got to tell that on stage remember? Yeah, I forgot it was about him I'm going upstairs with his drink I Killed all right. I'm gonna figure because here's the thing is I have a vision right like Leanne's got Leanne's got a shirt I bought when I was in shape and I was younger and it just says I love Detroit on it.
It's like a cool I thought about last night by the way. I thought about you on Rachel Ray I was like holy shit how unrecognizable and like also how your face look like a cartoon on top of your face It was so it's so big an animated part and then I couldn't stop thinking about the how unrecognizable I was in the shaving video You don't even look like the same person you know better now. Yeah, thank God fucking disgusting skinny, but Yeah, that shit was crazy But here's the thing does 15 years ago. You know what's crazy?
I was thinking about this last night What that is 15 years ago unrecognizable and then a few years prior to that. I'm unrecognizable to what you see there You know I mean yeah like three years before that you wouldn't recognize me there I would argue your your comedy has changed with your looks really yeah, how so? Cuz I think you play you definitely played to what you look like that Yeah, like you know like sloppy yeah, and but it's so funny I remember you buying like nice stuff to wear to do Conan like you bought like a nice shirt and issues Yeah, and I'm a bit it's silly when a fat person buys nice nice things I'm like when I buy like it's it's almost like you gave up you go get it and then yeah, yeah Holy shit. Have you seen Billy Gardell lately?
Yes, dude put in Billy Gardell talking about unrecognizable I love Billy and I'm happy that he lost weight is it who gives a fuck he looks he looks like he looks like a different person I've been Oscars I've been Oscars. He's the Oscars. What's the Oscars the other day? Yeah, but he was there.
Oh, yeah, I guess No, I mean first of all it looks fucking great. I mean it looks he looks people. They don't know tap one of those other pictures That was Billy. I mean like yeah full body like he's uh, he was a big dude.
That's not even him in his biggest by the way. Yeah That he um he must have lost 200 pounds. He must have lost a ton of like him. Yeah, yeah, look at him like a molly Wow One of those photos.
That's probably not photoshopped. No bigger. No. Yeah, I mean It's a significant amount it's a significant amount and I mean good for him cuz who gives a fuck he gets to see his kid grow up Yeah, you see me as grandkids like he wasn't gonna meet his grandkids.
I'm like a molly size No, he wasn't gonna see you wasn't gonna see a son get married on my kamole size That's a sad I mean by the way you're quality of life. They're talking about The same Clint Eastwood. This is why we're about to shoot up with steroids Yeah, and we will we're gonna show up there's some into my stomach and I've shows and I'm bruising on my stomach Yeah, and you do it in the ass and so I want you to teach me how to do it. Yes, okay, and so clip that out with you So um, but here's the deal.
They haven't seen Clint Eastwood in like in like nine months Right he's like 90. Yeah, they're saying it's osteoporosis and I argue that it's from lifting weights. I was with I was with a dude older dude, and we were in a gym and I was watching him Not be able to do like a squat like his legs were trembling. Yeah, and I was like oh wow like we were at one point doing I was one point doing a hundred fifty squats hundred fifty burpees a hundred fifty push up Yeah, and so I was like I'm not gonna lose if all those really wanted that long jet like if you were if you could fast forward to being 80 Like what would make me like have a healthy lifestyle mobility at this age?
We would all be so much more dedicated to yoga You know that that's that's who ends up like moving around well at that age well. I'm doing I'm uh, I'm going Don't hold me to this, but I'm not gonna drink this weekend. I'm gonna go back to a sober October. You are yeah I enjoyed on the road.
I don't mind it. How long you gonna do it for? Um, I was gonna do I was gonna do a month I just want to be like that's great. I was I yeah.
Well, don't hold me to it. I could one month Yeah, my only problem is I had like I had caveats like I had no problem not drinking on the road That was actually wasn't a big deal. I didn't have a problem working out on the road I didn't have a problem with any of this shit my only caveat was the flying did your thing tell me you're like What remember that two bears where you're like I'm never gonna drink for a flight. Yeah, yeah, I felt it pretty much Yeah, I mean there's been times like like when we flew to Vegas with through through like new worker JFK No, I forget where it was but it was absolute chaos and I'm a panic attack Yeah, and peaches put down to butt to he doesn't so it's like just fucking relax.
It's not that big deal. Um, but yeah I I've been pretty good. I could use private sweets. You know, it's it helps with all the fucking yeah I'm but I get worked up.
I can't like I'm an anxiety right now right now. I'm no anxiety zero on stage zero anxiety Yeah, but uh, but it rears its head after this like after this We get done and and I'll start it starts feeling like I'm sick like all of a sudden It's like everything gets a little smaller and I'm like, so after this after this I have no I have no control over it. I have none like I've my nose. I'm at this area I'll get tight.
I'll have zero control over it and I just be like great. It's happening So I'm I wish I get in control of that. I'm like, yeah, I'm trying everything I told I went to therapy and said I have a problem flying and they were like once last time he flew and I was like Yesterday, I'm like, then you're not a problem. That was it.
That was a explanation. Yeah, I'll get a new therapist an addiction What were we talking about before this how you look different you did look you're acting You're act changed based on what you look like you think so yeah, but not not globally but like Suddenly, yeah, like there. I mean I think it's funny. I've noticed that my fattest I definitely I have had more more jokes about my Wait in it like without any but that's natural right because like you know when you have kids you start talking about the fact You have kids it's your reality.
Yeah, so like when I was at my heaviest I had some jokes about it, but it wasn't like my act. I wasn't like my act is being like Ralphie had it Ralphie had like yeah Yeah, he's all one time he saw me when I had lost some weight and he goes many people who's awake You're gonna lose your whole act. I go. I'm not you like I'm not what are you talking about people said that to me?
Yeah, if you lose weight, you know, you just want to act and I went that's right. I don't I never have a daughter or wife Yeah, yeah, yeah And I can't I can't tell them to you anymore. I was like come on player You don't think I'm gonna have not know to talk about their Ralphie would fuck up food. Yeah, I mean he would do it at a Just a different clip.
Let's see Ralph. What was Ralphie's? He had an ability and stand up, you know, one of the first I only places I Couple I worked in LA for food Jesus Christ. He was big was Chibo You ever go to Chibo Chibo on sunset?
No the place called Chibo on sunset and when it first opened we did like pizzas and Italian food it was like counter service. Yeah, I think it changed it involved until like an actual wait wait staff kind of restaurant But he came in one time He ordered a like extra large pizza And I once they had a toy or four-runner Mm-hmm pulled up front and I remember I saw the four-runner pull up front And I didn't know who was in it and when he got out the the four-runner raised like six inches It was like this and he came in. Yeah, he just came in just tore up that pizza dude the big guy It's funny that so like the genuinely fat people meaning like obviously I guess I'm fat I don't really see it. I think I look fucking awesome.
I actually think I look awesome. That's great You have a real different perspective than like I mean, I guess it's healthy because like, you know, most people who are in like even like Pretty like pretty solid shape they go like fuck and they hate themselves and they talk shit to themselves You're the only guy I've been around who's like you know You do is like you actually everybody's something they could focus on that's good about themselves and they don't they ignore it They go, but what about what sucks? I just fat here. I'm a star and you're like fuck and awesome on my shoulders Yeah, well that's I mean no, it's very like it's very interesting like you really focus on what's good.
Yeah, I have a fantastic Feet I have great caps. I have dominant shoulders fucking awesome arms nice hands. I have beautiful hands and beautiful hands and my skin's perfect You're at your hands look skinny. I wonder if my wedding room will not get that off But I used to like look I used to bite them all the time.
Oh really? Yeah, you know, sir No, and like now they're fucking They're nice But what I was trying to say was that genuinely fat people are embarrassed by like if you called them out on how they eat Yeah, I'll tell you I'll tell you I'll edit the name out But I saw at a ice cream shop one time Yeah, and I thought he was ordering for a family as he walked to his car He's like four things yeah, and I was like oh, I didn't even know you had kids He's like I don't and I was like huh, and I just I'm getting the car with four things and I went You keep it. Yeah, but I would never say his name. I know that don't Google him Yeah, it's for us like I remember going like He lost much weight.
Yeah, but I would never I would never say that because I know that he would be sensitive about that Like Ralph used to hide his eating like he wouldn't he would be parts of me didn't know what's happening And if you called him out on his eating like I went out He went and ate sushi and he went he ate like $2,000 worth of sushi he bothered him that I tell that story like he'd be like I'll play a you don't take you drink $2,000 worth alcohol. I'll be dead. Yeah, yeah I mean, I know too and then if you talk about like what you wait like I've done this for up and like yeah You know and I gain weight and then you talk to one of these guys who they're like you're not overweight You don't have a problem. Okay, what's funny?
You sit me next to like I was you know I saw the I watched a very short episode clip of the Schultz and Akash and the whatever the fucking show is like yeah I was watching a little clip of flagrant to I'm a so much larger of a man than those guys Yeah, like I'm just like you just look at my shoulders and my shoulders like my head is large everything's larger. Yeah, you're bigger And so I dream I'm telling people I was buying spin shoes and there was this these two Puerto Rican guys They're behind me and they were like hey if you just move this faster cuz we ain't buying spin shoes And I was like I was like and there would be were in between shoeboxes like imagine if they're exit line for the Nike store But it's all line with shoe box for the closet. Yeah, and so I was like I was like oh hang on and I turn around to go I was meant to say if you were a little nicer than I would be happy to help you with that attitude You're not gonna get anything from me But for some reason my finger got under his chin and I went like that and they were like whoa you ready for this is this was In a dream I had this in a dream. Yeah in a dream.
I said I chose not to say something I saw director say what guy I chose not to say anything ego wise Someone to hold the shoeboxes cuz these guys are like always like that It's like that and I said in my head I bench 265 pounds stabilize your feet and throw this man across the room and I grabbed him and I shoved him like a fucking movie He went 30 feet like ah through shoeboxes and everyone's like what the fuck I grabbed the other guy and started pounding his fucking face I've never been that destructive in a dream dream. It was felt so good. I woke up like pissed off like fuck yeah You have some pent up rage though. So for people that don't know if you're listening right now But has his Gucci fanny pack his my gear back his Gucci gear back on the table People take out half my gear.
Let's see this. I never do this right. Yes the one you want. Yeah All right, hang on you got it first off.
Let me I don't know we get in trouble for shooting gear. I don't think so So so you do it in your ass. Yeah, how do you do it in your ass? I'll show you Let's not try to everyone touch my gear cuz you're sick.
I'm gonna do it. No, I'm gonna do new gear You got to watch your hands to do your gear. I think no you don't really this. Hang on.
Hang on. Stop. I don't like the way you're handling my gear Stop. No, you gotta fucking wipe it off and stuff.
Okay. Yeah, like a yeah, yeah, like a good call rates good call good call Okay, so number one you go like this alcohol swab there. Okay, okay. Wait.
Hold on. Let me do the drawing I like enjoying my gear. You're gonna tell me I can do it. I'm gonna fill it up.
You're gonna I'm afraid you'll overfill my gear Okay, and then where do you shoot it in your ass? Just right in your cheek. Okay, hold on So for everyone wondering this is called Decca Straight up to wait wait wait wait wait no no you don't do it like that. No take the air out first That's how you want to do it.
It's a much better draw that way. So pull out the amount you were going to take Okay, leave it like that leave it like that Okay, leave it like that. Let me see take it all the way down to 30. It's fine.
Take it to 30 and put it in Before put it in there and now push that air in and now pull back It's probably flowing better Better how much do you shoot 20? Oh shit. Does it mean I'm manlier? I think it means you need more I'm gonna test off strong.
It's really fun. Really if there's so many bubbles in my gear now. No, you're fine You put a little bubble in your body, right a little bit fine. Yeah, take it down to 28.
Who's gonna know? It is T no shit. Oh, he's okay. Yeah Anyone thinks I'm lucky using antibiotics there, okay now all right take it up back up to 25 just yeah, you're good Don't do too crazy And then pull that needle right out Now I'll show you what I know this you got this very important.
What you're a little fool. Okay, so And then what are you doing? So like right I go right here. So you saw what I want?
How do you do this quick? Wow Yeah, you know it takes me like a solid like do you know it takes me forever to get it in really yeah? Why I have no idea Look at big tits Just big tits and nerds So this is the part that bothers people is that I leave these needles out. Well, that would probably bother me most reasonable people Wait, so you just shove it right in yeah, you don't like to slow push no really I enjoy the process of my stomach to watch it I don't know if I'm gonna be able to stick in my ass again because I can't see my ass you can just feel a spot really that yeah Shoot on my gear no problem.
I usually do it for each other in the locker room after lifts for real Yeah, that's an Arnold said that day when people are like, you know, they're like do you usually do steroids? He was like yeah, we all did we would shoot each other up after we worked out Like they should after they work out that was their thing like I guess back in the 70s or whatever They would just like shoot up together after their workouts. I feel it immediately and they're not supposed to I mean really immediately I feel phenomenal after it. I feel so fucking good.
I'll tell you I'm sleeping better good I'm sleeping so fucking good lately. That's a big one and I and I and I like my recovery has been phenomenal considering my pace of work Yeah, it has been fucking insane. Yeah, it really has been I mean I kind of enjoy it on the road Cuz everything kind of slows down at on the road. Yeah, and you're like, oh good That's the big lie about getting off the road is like now you're off the road.
Oh, that's when everything ramps up dude. I Remember the first time you shook here Yeah, you like it. I mean I had the same thing where I was like this is cool If you're a young kid watching this man, you definitely should get here get here Especially if you're like, you know right in that that pre-adult age Now your body's producing so much of it then I remember my most I remember my most test off for Odey Yeah, I can almost pinpoint the day well now you can also now you realize to people are like what happens as you age It is that like when I played basketball like a month ago against that dude You know the adrenaline spike was so crazy I'm not used to playing jumping and doing all that shit every day Yeah, my soreness lasted like fucking a week and a half and you go the difference is like when you're 16 18 20 years old You do that next day you'd be like let's go play basketball again Yeah, and like now it's so much different. It's so much different.
Can I tell you this isn't the equivalent? But I can't eat McDonald's anymore really like I'm having a heart every if I make dolls. I end up getting sick That's probably good to listen to like listen to your body on like if I I haven't Donald's at Mark Nomer's bachelor party And I forgot physically sick like physically food poisoning sick. Would you eat?
What'd you have? Really? Yeah, I mean I didn't have like a burger I talked about probably like four burgers and then had a big Mac and then went fries And you're like I got sick. I ate five things Something happened shamrock shake with whiskey.
I mean it was bad. Yeah, this fucking wrecked me like really over. Yeah Yeah, yeah, the amount of of Sornis and that's like you know, this is this gear. Yeah, it's supposed to help with that I love it.
I would love to know I would love if everyone posted their gear their gear dosage. Yeah Yeah, I want to know what people are up to do. I got like a full stack though. Yeah, you want to do this I'm gonna not do it.
I know hgh We're not so what's the difference of what we're on? We're just on testerone. Yeah, and that just goes and then you just feel like we're getting you're getting to like a what's called a Healthy normal range level like there's a range and you're this is helping you stay in that ideal range Yeah, I mean there's people that I'm not recommending this you should not do this But there's people who take an amount that is way out of the range on the high side and you know you see those dudes Like in gyms. I don't put in a best anabolic steroids.
Yeah best like what I would know that I would know that's like what I Would see what like what like yeah, we're like list of anabolic list of anabolic steroids, you know best for Jack dudes Let's see. Oh, here we go. So in a draw. I've heard of that.
Yeah, it's oral. I'm not gonna shit injectable decka decka Derabalen depot Testerone and there's wind straw. I'm a lot of people that win straw. I think when I knew I knew I knew I Was a negative side effects of wind straw where I knew I was doing a ton of steroids was FSCU really Well a couple that were probably on it, but dudes that were just students.
Oh dude. There's I gotta be honest with you Just oh there's a shows none New acne acne headaches change into sexual desire. No vomiting changing ex-kin color angles. Well, not bad Yeah, I mean all things I already kind of have yeah wind straw steroids Look at these look at that.
I would bum me out if I was that Jack, but I had that bad skin. Yeah. Yeah, so then so then there's what did Arnold use? I'm not sure Yeah Type of what what steroids did Arnold Schwarzenegger use and this is how we'll never have a monitor podcast now.
He would talk about it Really I think so yeah, he's what Barry bonds use right now those do well. He was on there on T HGH all the players were on it back then oh Doing his there's teens you can't use them in your teens He was only you take anything available test D ball Stan's all all prime of the deck I draw so he was on full stack dude I mean this is we should say this is just a fucking you know an internet answer We don't it's not him saying it, but this is saying the same thing basically was Diana ball primal ball in testosterone That guy was drawn in a bar. God damn. There's a lot of shit.
It's a lot of shit Yeah, but also look at those guys. They don't have like that's not a natural dudes build as much as you work at it You know, I always thought I really honestly always thought Arnold Schwarzenegger was natural look at that fucking body I'm on you soon. I'll never look like that. I don't know.
I mean don't forget to like Education you imagine I don't know if I have those muscles in my body well They're in there any crazy that I have those muscles should be in my body and I'm and I just I couldn't even find them No, that's a real crazy one. Yeah, it's a real crazy level you got to them Yeah, yeah, all those guys all the pro bodybuilders I mean, but they are like you know most of them are on like when that tea they're filling up that syringe Really? Oh, yeah other testosterone through the roof through the roof and then and look at have you seen flex wheelers? Have a hard time walking now is it really yeah?
Of course you do my baby. Yeah, no some of them. So, you know that that's it. You know that that's it I think it's called testosterone.
Sip. You know you're taking down over to it. No nothing for real I didn't take vitamins didn't take anything shit. He just ate steaks But so you're taking 75 units a week.
Yeah, right? Right 2550 75 some of those hardcore power of your bodybuilders are taking 200 units each time they inject So I'm taking a pussy amount compared to these guys. Yeah, I need to step up Look at this fucking guy with like what's sitting there with his arms across in front of himself sitting there forward Oh shit. Is that a real photo?
Oh my god. That's a real human. That's a real guy. That's a real fact What the it's gotta be a photoshop, right?
That a real guy you got it. You got it. You got to be kidding me. That's fucking insane Yeah, like that dude's not taking 20 minutes of time Good God.
Look at that. Yeah, that's fucking crazy. You're all good at that. Nope.
I would mind I mean I kind of that's not real That's gotta be photoshopped. I can't be a real fucking photo. Have you ever seen the Iranian Hulk? Yeah, that guy that was photoshopped.
Yeah Fall in this guy Have you you ever seen my buddy Martin Martin? Yeah Martin Ford type in Martin Ford is it friend of yours? Yeah, he's in the movie. Oh, yes.
I know you're talking about yeah, he is fucking he's jacked I mean jacked and a sweetest guy the sweetest goofiest guy look at that we'll be next to the Iranian Hulk Let's get started. I'll get it up like that. You're like that. Yeah, who's the Iranian Hulk?
Oh my god Don't you want to get some like what we get let me since we're doing gear like I think it looks right when you get Tazade we do it it's a tip or like an arm thing sleeve. Yeah, I'll get like identical sleeves. Yeah You do some tribal shit. Oh, yeah, you want to go to Hawaii and have them do yeah That's what I want.
Yeah, is that cultural preparation? I think costume's not your culture I think it's what as long as maybe they make us like do some shit to earn it. You know oh Walk across my coals Swim out swam out to a big thing kill a white family Oh Bad like the Jason my mama's shit. He's got still fucking sick his or don't those are fucking sick.
Yeah. I would love that I mean what I want them to do. I bet it takes fucking forever. Yeah Oh Fuck typing whoa, I love can I tell you I love when the Maori dudes go full face-tat like Like I love that shit.
I love that shit. Do you know who I just saw who's gotten is that Robert down the junior? Don't think so the fucking impressive that that guy's badass. Whizzy.
He's gotta be a I know the real dudes have it on their face Yes badass Now if I was gonna do tats, I really do think that Hawaiian shit is the fucking coolest and we do one in the In-hour in test. I don't think so. I mean you can answer is yes Someone will do it because you're gonna pay them to go swimming in on vacation of Hawaii anymore I know so you gotta do it like on the I do it over my cock you can do it there and I'll be badass So badass and then it's hard and just you know people are like wow I like a leg I like the way I'm not a leg guy With with that one's fucking sick Let's see oh my god look at that first one whoa, that's kind of what you're talking about That's actually not that bad looking there's keeps going. What's the green one?
Is that a dragon? Nope top left top left and I hope that these are all single in these look at that That's wild. I feel like it'll be weird if that was your one to two you're one. Yeah Whoa, whoa, that's fucking awesome.
Yeah Oh, wow, how do you be? I know I hope you boys how do we have a link up so people we should have a patreon where people can see the Picture of a guy that's doing front back full-body is he? She's a man. Yeah, that's so that's too much.
All right. Let's just go back to the arm Yeah, what's the rocks to do? I don't know the I would like to see his because he's got he's got the tip with the arm Are you gonna do the arm the surgery on you should what's the thing is you just leave your scar as a thing and then tattoo the other arm? It's kind of cool, right?
Believe the scar showing yeah, cuz I tell people you know when they're like wait, why'd you get that I go Afghanistan? I'm the two tours The other rocks are pretty badass. Yeah, those are cool. He's a major gear Just like the rock yeah, he's a bit higher does it yeah, I guess it's just a little extra tea.
Yeah Didn't you get in trouble? Not obviously Joe doesn't get trouble But didn't when their beef that when he was like the rock needs to tell everyone what he's using I don't know What did he say to the rocks? I think I'm by the way paraphrasing a paraphrasing a a Twitter twat twat twat twat tweet I'm I don't know what I'm trying to say I'm paraphrasing a beef Twitter beef Yeah, cuz I think they went I don't think I'm back or forth I think people tried to try to make it a thing and it may have not been a thing But I think Joe said something like he's definitely on something he should be honest cuz I think he's 50 yeah, he's alright My age yeah, he's younger than you and so he's older than me older than me. Oh, whatever and so I guess we're gonna keep doing that Seven years, but the rock You know people are shocked when they say that of course they go wait wait you're older than Tom I go yeah I know and now that I'm on tea they're gonna be like wait I thought you guys were like he was your older brother so He said that he the rocks should be honest with what he's using yeah because kids should know I think it's a fair thing to say Don't you I'd be I'm just curious.
I don't really give a fuck. I don't care You're gonna be that dude or you're not gonna do the reason that he's saying that is because I mean you don't say that It gets people the impression all I got to do is work out and be dedicated and I look like that It's like that's not entirely true. That's not and it I mean that's why that's why Joe saying you should you know If you have a huge platform and you're super famous and you look like that you're like oh, yeah I do work out really hard. I do take care of myself, but by the way I am fucking Gassed up yeah, yeah, of course what's crazy is like you saw video Barry bonds to the other name very bonds used to be fucking I mean it was in a hank Aaron documentary Yeah, and it really made his documentary and Barry bonds now looks like like a regular dude like a regular person Yeah, I mean that's him rookie.
That's him rookie on the left there like so skinny 47 Yeah, it's so crazy look at that size that guy. Well, what's very much like now like a very bonds now 2023 or He's just like a that's him right now. Yeah guys Yeah, he shrunk down again very bonds has got like the like a like a the least gangster voice you've ever heard There's this article somebody's I think Jeff Tate sent me about how like unequivocally he is by far the greatest player of all time I think that why is it they broke down the note his stats and his how one year like his on base percentage was so Astronaut it was like comically good. So we so it very bonds and and more McGuire and Roger Clemens They're never gonna get in the hall fame because it is there I don't know I mean it seems like the you know the I know that the journalists and shit look at that look at this What is that 376 one?
That third one from that yeah the next door look at that look at that sat right there in 2024 because I've reached 2004 He reached basically 367 times 76 76 times. He went got to bat 373 times now that's gotta be well. That's gotta be That mean he only had six outs or three outs. No, I know a lot of walks That's what I was gonna say.
There's a lot of walks in there But that means that he only only three times he got out. That's crazy. Yeah, it's pretty nice It's crazy when you see like dudes with legit swings. Yeah, like it's funny I enjoy taking batting practice whenever I can like I do it at my high school I do it when we do fully loaded I do all of it, but like my swing is Nothing compared to do their dudes on the internet who swing.
Yeah, they have videos and they're just dudes with great swings We don't play fresh nobody's ball. Yeah, they just have ink and they hit bombs. I was watching this guy I think it was at Notre Dame hit him off a church like he was just hitting classes like it was insane You can see the same types of dudes. Okay, most of your home runs most home runs in a single season and most career walks Yeah, he's the fucking animal dude There's dudes who have those same types of golf like their driver swings We see they don't know they're they're passable golfers like they have a decent game But the real thing is they know how to drive and they swing that thing you're like holy shit Dude, you know, that's what happened with tigers is he fucked his back up his torque cuz his torque.
Yeah. I wonder what tiger doesn't shave his head Yeah, he lives that he leaves that like dad hair Yeah, like it's an interesting look for a guy who clearly possibly has to have a stylist right It's only got a car billionaire. Yeah, that's a weird choice. It's just an odd.
I guess he's just a happy dude He doesn't care. I don't know he's got great teeth and those are natural teeth Yeah, seriously think so type type in Tiger Woods teeth the Tiger Woods teeth That's always better. Yeah, right. They'll do look real.
Yeah. He's got great fucking teeth. That hair is a weird Fake tooth You got a tooth knocked out. No No, what's up now check?
Alright, that's he's doing alright. Yeah, that'll be great. I'll be fucking awesome. Yeah.
Fuck. Yeah. What to be here? Yeah How fucking great?
It's fucking loaded with money. Yeah You can get whatever I mean just until I should have to a thing should have to a thing can you imagine being rich without a schedule that Started at 6 a.m. I'm not going to start every morning at 6 a.m. No matter what I do the night before it is I am up at 6 a.m.
There are people either in my bedroom in my fucking hotel room or opening my curtain to my bunk at 6 a.m That's how my day starts every fucking day and always I mean usually last night I ended fucking 9 I got mad at 9. I was good at you because I look at you and I went I was like god He looks like fucking fresh and I was like I'm not gonna fucking do it myself. I almost did I almost did almost turn it up I almost turned it up because it's my one night home and Leanne's there And yeah, I saw she was she went over to the wine thing I leave the quarks in the wine thing and then they go out of battery and you can't get the quirk out anymore It's a pipe to my thing and I started doing that and I was like here we go we're getting wine and then I just went I'm going to bed. I'm getting a bed and so I got better.
I watched a documentary on Netflix about the Asian airline disaster Yeah, I watched that. Yeah, it makes me 70. Yeah, you finish it. I passed out.
What happened with it? Man, that's up. It first of all that's really well done. That's a thread.
I think it's three part series Because you know how you like you remember it's like you remember these big events But you forget the details sometimes like you're like oh yeah, I remember that plane that disappeared Like that's basically what I remember. Yeah, and they fucking break down How like in really great detail how well first of all what was the three Russian theory? Man, there's so many theories on this thing so one one theory is the pilot was depressed and The one theory was three Russian dudes turned off the responder. Yeah, because there was also Russia at the time This is 2014.
I think this was like right as a Crimea thing was going on like they were you know taking Crimea back I think that's what it was right. They were I think that was exactly at that time and See have the the Russian say Russian theory in there down there if you scroll down But it's absolutely fascinating. So first of all the plane loses radar contact everything as it's going into Vietnamese airspace is going to Beijing So when they when it doesn't arrive they search the area in the South China Sea where that radar had turned off and then a Few days later, they have the that that ends in what is it called? You know, it's in the doc but in rant or whatever.
Yeah, yeah Had sent a signal that the plane had actually diverted left to Malaysia and then started going towards the South Indian Ocean They're like what in the fuck and there's nothing even remotely where you could land a plane down there It's just open. Yeah, see as soon as they found out that they were like this is it They didn't live any other problems in Malaysian Malaysians are fucking their dirty. That came out wrong. They're the Malaysian government dirty Well, they don't really like any information because anyone look like they didn't know what they're doing But they did not know what the fuck they were doing and they still held on but anyway Yeah, there's there was this there was this do you think I'm smarter than the Malaysian president?
I was like this guy looks like a fucking absolute moron. Yeah, he they did a terrible job Yeah, I bet if we both took the SAT I fucking smoked it then they would Then they had that was my name was an English and that guy you haven't gotten that part yet who was like, you know He's part of the Putin. I mean he's a pretty dick. He's a sharp dude.
That's a dick though But like don't forget he was also oh, yeah, I highly KGB trained you know doing it a smile I think he's gonna find out. Yeah, that's right. I'm coming you my bitch. Keep going on the machine drops machine Yeah, I keep it like with it really really pops off in Russia like they're like you know, I mean like right now There's probably some you know, you know, you know, I don't know if I've any fans of Russia I'm saying there's a few people you know, hey pull Google friends and see if see what if I'm trending in Russia.
I tell they have Netflix Okay, keep on But how do you tell if it's Russia type of bird pressure very crucial. Yeah, you'll see me you'll see hang on Okay, okay, and then this is this day. Oh nice go to see United States go down and go. Oh, wow.
Okay. Go to Russia You love Google friends. Go to Russia. Okay.
Okay. Hang on now. Go to sources past day go to five past five years nope Not good go to go to four two thousand four to the present Wow Wow, so the spike is a no for it Yeah, like there's no one in Russia that is in oh four. I was I was pretty big in Russia.
Why why oh four? What's going on for there? No idea. That's a significant spike.
Yeah Wow There's gotta be a different for Chrysler. Well, I don't know what the fuck happened in 2004. I don't know That's right when you had Georgia. I like I like I like it must be it must be it I guess it was a holy shit and don't tell then tell anything like what they were googling.
Oh, wait I know I had done Rogan. Oh my god. That's my name in Russian. Oh, it is.
Yeah, oh Copy that copy that here you go. Yeah, that's it. I thought you did it. You did it So then my name was trending in Russia in 2004.
This is a rock. All right anyway keep going Well, look the one of the things about that makes me seven is like one point They're like just know, you know, we've been searching for forever now for a year two years and they can't find any debris like you know, it's gotta be something obviously the ocean is vast and enormous and deep but Then this guy is like I'm gonna go find debris and he just talks to some people and they're like it would be like on the coast of Mozambique Or something so he flies there and like day one he finds debris so it just adds to this whole thing like what the fuck? How's he yeah, I think I found this thing from the flap it's just it doesn't you know that guy? Yeah, it's gonna just like Goes there and finds it so we did so did they ever say what happened to the plane?
Well, the truth is like they Because of the debris that was found at first they go okay Confirm that this debris is um from a triple seven, which is what the plane was and then they're like yeah, it is that that flight it is It is a makes 370 But like each piece of a quid debris From a plane like that has specific like numbers on it, you know, what's what I'm trying to think of the word like a Yes, yes, yes And they're like some of these pieces have deliberately looks like missing serial numbers So like this doesn't make sense so it just adds to the speculation that That you know that they don't really know I mean obviously the plane is gone But there was a theory that that the Russians had diverted the plane into like Kazakhstan And that you know and people were buying that theory for a while I might have a member on that buy it well Yeah, because it gives you hope you know gives you hope and so there was that and then I don't know man Like there's people still some people think the pilot did it But the thing is like usually when people do something like that There's these signs, you know when they dive in and they had no actual signs of depression or or being like You know buying into some crazy political there like he was by all accounts like a pretty healthy happy dude It's crazy that you don't even think about all the shit going on in someone's life. It's really good I highly recommend watching I like it. I'm going to have to watch Russell puzzle The I it's interesting. They got some really great shows on Netflix right now.
It's funny. I the the porn hub ones good I watch that I watch one of Boeing's 737 max And this is why I'm having a panic attack today because the 7th through 7 max They were like Boeing made a plane that where they place the engines the plane just went Well, gunk the worst part about that Boeing max everything is that there's internal memo I don't see the doc but there are internal memos Yeah, they go well the pilots will have to go like some more training to do this and the airlines are like We don't want to have to go to more training So then they're like alright Just don't let them know that I remember when they were recalling the 737 maxes I was on a 737 max and I was and I said something to I must have been sitting next to a pilot But I talked to a pilot about it and he was like it's all bullshit These are fucking there's seven thirty sevens. There's nothing different and then you watch it off and like oh no It's totally fucking different. They had to put a tail flap in the thing to lower it But the pilots had to know it had ten seconds to figure it out when they started going They're 10 and they talked about do why am I talking about early crisis?
I'm gonna fuck a fly today. You're flying today flying fucking today. I don't know. I don't know I have our lady that books all our travel fleecia is a gangster.
Yeah, and she every time she again She tries to get me to sleep her beds. Yeah It's fucking crazy no trees are just falling out of the ground It's because because our trees don't have vast root systems because if it ever rains all the fucking rains up tops all the roots So these big heavy trees are just fucking collapsing and we've got four of them in our backyard. I'm gonna go in an hour Okay, well, how you feeling? Yeah, and this rain just go back to the exam.
I saw you in the fucking sleep all day. I'm gonna travel back today. Yeah The flight is at like five something really yeah Oof, I mean the burp start down here. Yeah, I'll make me order pizza last night Mm-hmm, and I was like I've been doing intermittent fasting and then you try you clean somewhat you do like 16 hour I go as long as I can I didn't you know what that usually is yeah It's from like 8 till noon.
That's pretty good. Yeah, but I but last night went about at 9 I stopped eating at like Price 7 30 7 I just yield as long as I can go and then if I don't do it, I don't do it. I don't care I'm fucking deal. I'm trying I feel I feel less hungry lately.
I Think it's my gear, but but I tried to I got a piece last night. She goes she goes, you know surprise us That's what she's getting something I didn't expect and so I was like alright so I got I got spinach and feta and then Supreme pepperoni and then thin crushed cheese I don't like anything If you're not gonna fucking she was like fine. I guess I have cheese and go to bed And I was like that's all I was looking for no this morning. She was oh she fucking never mind God God Well, I hope I can't wait.
I hope I'm alive when your kids are 18 how much longer is that it's a while you got? Well, you got about 10 years 10 11 years for Alice done. I'll be there 14 for Julian. Okay.
Yeah, 64 definitely 64 69 it's 70 is gonna be a diceier for me think so yeah, 70 would be a milestone I think a lot of people will be like holy shit man Yeah, yeah, you may 82 and 82 and spry and lucid and with it and still in kind of good shape people are gonna be like god damn it I did not see this coming. Yeah, I mean I can't wait to go to people's funerals and be thought would that would be yeah They thought you'd be dead before them 82 Rogan will be 80 90 no he's eight years old with me. He's not he's 55. Yeah, okay.
He'll still be alive. He'll be 87 He'll be 87. Yeah, okay. Who's gonna be who's gonna be whose funeral I definitely be at?
Who's funeral well of like our circle of friends. Yeah Game How do you think Lee-Ann well if you think so Yeah, I know that so like yeah, I'll definitely outlive land. Yeah, I won't take care of her properly when she's dying yeah Because I want to see she knows that I won't be able to So you're bringing help oh yeah, and I'll just be like hey He's like look in the room you good maybe I'll step up to the I'll probably step up to the plate because my sister at that heart condition You remember when cottie had her heart rate was like yeah, yeah, yeah, what's the hospital 110? Yeah, dude.
I delivered I showed up. I was a fucking gangster. I got in the fucking amulets with her I calmed her down I took some selfies and then yeah You all of your sisters I hope I outlived my parents Jesus I hope my day my day my mom's got this fucking weird DNA where she just doesn't get sick and when she does it doesn't hurt And she just I'm bedding a ball like my mom's got crazy DNA and my dad my dad my dad. I don't know I don't want to get the fucking phone call.
I don't get the fucking phone call I think I anticipate the phone call you knew you'd have a passing right oh yeah, you're there. Oh, yeah, okay Yeah, I don't get the phone call. Yeah, that's my thing is the phone call. Yeah.
Yeah, am I doing this this? Do you remember when I said I don't have any anxiety and then this is gonna end my Hiding's I was talking about Oh, yeah, I'm gonna. Damn it. God damn it.
Let's talk about something strong and positive. Okay, okay, okay Guys we should go on I don't know what I was gonna say vacations. Okay vacations like like like I'm trying to think of something positive What do positive people do? They think about like yeah affirmations and like yeah beautiful places a good idea.
Okay, we should we should do a vacation plan next My cruise I worked work. I know but you got a plan a week of vacation with who Lee Ann. Oh, I guess good Okay, so I'm going to New Zealand the South Island. I couldn't New Zealand South world That's the place to visit is the South Island of New Zealand Yeah, you should go to the Cook Islands Dave went there my tour manager went there after I went home He went to the cookout typing the cook islands.
Are you serious? Yes? He went there after he was like I'm gonna go to the cook islands Go to images. Yeah, that's where he went after our tour in New Zealand.
Hey, uh, it's type in flight from Sydney to the Cook Islands I'll green like this. I'll pull this trigger right now. You should do it How long? Oh, that's a connecting flight.
I connect. But you're also going this that way for real. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah cook islands. Yeah I love going to the ocean. I love being at the ocean. There you go.
It's five hours and 33 minutes. That's doable You want to go to the islands are going back to Los Angeles? Yeah, yeah, yeah I'll go to the Cook Islands. I'd love to go to the fucking show the image of the like we're on a map on a map if you can Yeah, there we go.
Where is it? Yeah, see if you're heading that way. Oh, wow, then you could probably go from there to like I don't know why you say what I could do. I guess you I guess once you get to the Cook Islands Then you might as well keep going because I was like I fly back Sydney and then take the drug do that because I don't want to I'm sure it's gonna be like Cook Islands to yeah, you're a hamburger island.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, dude. Look at that. Look at that. He went there.
He said it was amazing. It's me Maddie Smith Is that nice with comedian? She's fucking hilarious. I told you all the time that she missed died She missed read the label for edibles.
No, we're in the bus and we're fucking hammered and she puts a bunch of gummies and then Much of we've done these in a bowl and shakes him up. She goes who wants to play gummy roulette So I was like wait, what are these and she goes there these it's fine. They're 10 milligrams But you've got to eat whatever you eat you gotta eat now I normally do not take 10 milligrams if anything I'll take five and I'll have a hard time waking up after taking five yeah, so Peep goes first and he eats his gummy and he says very plainly that was marijuana. I said really good Extremely strong it's marijuana and I was like okay part of me is like these are shit dummies Yeah, I can't taste the marijuana in a gummy.
Yeah, and I definitely can't smell it so Maddie takes her if she goes okay I got marijuana to Moses storm takes is he's like I got marijuana and then grabs in grabs another one He goes and I hate to say it but I think the other ones marijuana I grab mine I go I got marijuana and I'm chewing it and as I swallow Maddie goes, uh-oh I said what she goes Probably she's not gonna be mad and I go what and she goes I misread the label. I said what do you mean? She goes these are I thought it was a hundred ten milligrams These are ten one hundred milligrams and I'm like we hate Pete immediately goes I'm going to my bunk and gets in his bunk and just tries to race going to sleep before it kicks in me Maddie of Moses Moses is on two hundred milligrams. Maddie goes well I can't let you do that alone she's another one we get fucking oh Blittering it's like florid.
I got into my ball. I just I said I'll out drink it So I started pounding out the ball Christ and I get into my bunk and I go I go when we find we're gonna be fine And I was for like I fell asleep and then I don't know if you know this feeling I can only describe it as a searing panic attack. Yeah, where it's extremely clear extremely clean and it's hitting you dead into the fucking center of the heart and I wake up with a searing panic attack I'm a driving on the road I'm gonna fucking everything with Chris Pratt where he's on a time capsule and they're flying to Mars But his wakes up early and then he's gotta make the decision do I wake someone else up? That's what I was like at four in the morning driving on the road going do I get someone awake?
Do I tell them what you so but but we laughed the funnest part was as they were kicking in we couldn't stop laughing that we ate a 100 milligrams crazy and so Maddie Smith is going with me mark Smalls is going with me Peter is going with me like a lazy is going with me and Victoria. It's a good group. Yeah, it's a fucking good group Dude, that's a good you should do it. You should do it right now Lee Ann's listening to this downstairs going I want to go to the cook island.
Of course. It's named all the people I travel with yeah I would love to go to ten must do experiences in the south side South Island of New Zealand is fucking sick So it is fucking sick. Are you doing all New Zealand just the top just a couple of Auckland and Wellington. Yeah, um I did Christ Church and that was like my favorite show really yeah No, I'm doing Auckland New Zealand and then all the places in Australia Brisbane Melbourne Sydney Perth Adelaide I don't know where else I think that's probably the hits already sold out great.
I know I want to do more shows I'm doing I love it would open. Oh, Ropa. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you're going to Europe.
What are you going in Europe? I got Budapest Berlin Berlin's right now. I don't understand Oslo Paris. Yep, I didn't do Paris.
I didn't do broad Dublin Dublin Let's go. Oh Birmingham Dublin. I might win it when you and Dublin. I might fly the Dublin to go watch that show Pull it up pull it up if you can Fuckin ridiculous hit hit tour.
Let's see here scroll. What are you in Ireland? See look? Athins Prague Dublin the three arena.
Yeah, that's right. Oh, that's gonna be so much fun. May 6th. Where am I may 6th?
Am I here? I will fly the fucking Dublin to see that show seriously dude That was the craziest show I did all three. That might be one of the crazy shows. I've ever done I called you on stage I just got into Australia I walked out with a beer with a cold beer Raised it to the audience and they were standing and stopping going And I fucking killed the beer and they're like Yeah, I definitely did an animation.
I hate the animation. I love it. Oh, I love it I love how people you bring with you one just one I brought to yeah break it up bring two having both go And then intermission and then ladies and gentlemen times ago. It's it worked fine Like honestly not even like time.
Yeah, me too 15. I think we have three people with us three at one point Yeah, I want point Maddy Mark and Shane and so it was awesome Dublin at the three arena Gotta get Conor McGregor to come out. Okay. Gotta get Conor McGregor to come out Hey everyone hit up Conor McGregor and tell him may 6th the three arena.
He sold it out too That was the one I met him he goes he goes uh, he goes what you doing here? And I was like uh Do a stand up and he said where I said the three arena he goes to sell it out I said yeah, and he goes me too and he looks and he goes we both sell out the three arena And I was like, I took the most disgusting picture with his mom that I've ever taken with anyone. Why? Have you ever seen this with his mom?
Oh, so I think your name's Maggie Maggie, uh, no, Gregor McGregor McGregor. She comes up she goes I'm bad at acting. She was like boy. Oh, can I get me a picture?
I was like, yeah sure and oh my god She was standing. I hope to god. This is on my phone. I hope you got this on my phone because you will laugh hysterically She was standing on She was standing She was standing on a step You got a picture of me and Maggie She was standing on a step and she we didn't want to look short So she's still in the step and I stood on the step in front of her and so pulled up.
Can you? Let's see and so I look like a fucking blimp compared to this little beautiful Irish woman I'm just right in front of her. I look massive compared to her. That's Connor's mom.
Yeah. Wow You see their whole group is cool. I'll tell you right now This black 4-gen which I misread the name because I'm dyslexic and I kept calling it the black foreign Yeah, the black 4-gen that steaks one of the best steaks I've ever had is that his gen? This place dude.
You gotta go to dinner the black 4-gen post about it on instagram and maybe Connor will come in reach out to him Have Joe reach out to him but that but he has come to your show. He's fucking with your show I know he didn't come to my show. He just we were going to dinner there and he was there having dinner there at the same time. I think All right, he was that would be awesome meeting him with a fun experience.
I bet. Yeah, he's an interesting video of it I geek out because I didn't understand what he was gonna be there Like they were like I said I'm going to the black 4-gen on instagram and then the black 4-gen DM me And I'm like when you coming in and we were just day drinking in Ireland and I was like I don't know like Later tonight and they're like well, let us know we'll have a table ready for you and I was like oh cool And so we were kind of bored so I was like oh this is the video of me me and Connor McGregor Here hit pause. Let me tell the story. I better telling it than seeing it So I go I said to the group I was like hey, let's just wrap this up and go to the black 4-gen have dinner You guys want to go get a drink and then like yeah, no idea that Connor McGregor is gonna be there Don't hit play it.
Don't hit play it And so we pull up and there's a fucking Mayback or like a Bentley in the front and I pull my phone out and I record it including its license plate I'm like oh I wonder who's here joking thinking honestly thinking what a good smart marketing idea that he'd always put a Bentley out there Maybe we'll think yeah, and I go that's guys the guys on top of shit I when I'm not seeing is I'm seeing a bunch of people ushering uh Like panicking as I open the door three dudes of black suits Now you can hit play three dudes in black suits literally usher me to my table quick as fucking shit and sit me down And then this guy he's the fucking best he's got the bell over his thing and he's like do you want to meet the champ or do you Know the boss this is me meeting him. I owe shit. Fuck out. I am keke look at Mark Smalls.
Oh, this is great I didn't realize it was like this is great. Oh, yeah, it was fucking awesome And so you stand in front of the picture and he's talking to you about what you were doing there I think you're the best comedian I've ever seen I swear to god. It's an honor to meet you You're better at everything than I am and I'm a good boxer, but you're like the best yeah He's like wow two legends. He's like look two legends get a picture give the belt of the champ He's like you're the best this is like oh there.
Yeah, and then then you have to take your shirt off right buddy I go. Oh, yeah, I'm saying I don't want to him. It's not my thing, but this is great. This is awesome Yeah, that's what this is when we're talking about the three arena Yeah, and so you look so you look so happy to be getting so fucking excited and then of course He's like he's like god.
You look like you're in shape at play. You play. Yeah, you know He's like you look like you're in shape. He says to me and then my shirt comes off and so but uh It was uh, he said to me that brought me in this is you guys there are you there?
There this is like we did a podcast next day. I got you in uh in a pub and just talked about it But the best part is when I got in they sat me down and they're like and they're like uh The boss wants to meet you and I was and I just assumed I just assumed it was the rest up manager Yeah, like I figured the boss of that. Yeah, and I was like no I'm sure yeah, and they're like uh, okay So when the boss comes up everyone get the cameras out and I was like okay in my head I'm like I really honestly thought they looked at my Instagram followers and like he's got two two million two seven million Instagram followers. He's big on TikTok.
Yeah, it's a social media moment So let's get a picture. I was like I think we're with everyone here. Sure. And so he's like, okay, okay So everyone's got the cameras out because it's happening here comes the champ and then he brings out the belt and he's like whoa And I was I fucking geeked out.
He's like he's like he's like how's Joe doing and I was like it's doing great He's like tell him I said hi and I just texted with Joe I said Joe just texted me and told me to tell you he said hi and he's like tell him I'll see him in the ring soon and I was like oh breaking news. Oh shit. Yeah, early oh how on he yeah Yeah, I'm dropping down. Yeah, so uh, so yeah, so it was great.
It was fucking awesome But uh, I swear you got to pop off may six. I'll come out and see your show and don't know because it is it was the most I remember insane fucking night of comedy and they were I have to say this only because when I presented it's unruly and it was at times Unruly it was at times. Yeah out of things. They were Imagine they were comedy fans that were in control of the evening but chose the best night of comedy they could have So they would I tell a story get a big pop like I did the one land, you know with the it's on secret time or on this one Oh, that's me big pop big pop Ah, I get one guy go Hola and whole place.