Thanksgiving

One of the things I miss most since moving to the UK is Thanksgiving. When I first moved to England 10 years ago, for the first two years I hosted a big Thanksgiving meal for my UK family and friends. The third year my good friend and fellow American, Marlene put on a Thanksgiving spread, but since then neither of us have had the time nor energy to do it, and I am truly missing it this year. I have so much to be Thankful for this year, well every year, to be honest. But I’m feeling especially thankful this year because I am at a lovely place of peace with myself. I am happy exactly where I am in life. Around this same time last year I was totally burned out. Gloria Miller Entertainment, my entertainment company, had a stellar year. Business was good, but I was not. I was about to go into the very busy Christmas season, and I realized that I didn’t want 2019 to be a repeat of the year I was having, so I made the decision to close my office at Langstone Tech Park, and to go back to working from home. I was already making the journey to my current peaceful place by freeing my creative side, and writing songs again felt like a lifeline. I didn’t know what I was going to do with the songs I was writing, I was just happy to be back in the creative flow. So, when January of this year rolled around, I was back working from home. I took a break from performing my Tribute Shows opting for performing Motown Nights instead, because at least I could be myself during those gigs, and not have to step into someone else’s persona. I was feeling so lost, and honestly, I no longer knew who I was as an artist. In fact, the artistry was gone, and I needed to get it back. I allowed GME to tick along, and I spent more time working on my music. I setup a new website and started blogging and podcasting, along with releasing singles, all in an effort to find my own voice. I performed my first fully originals gig back in September and I was like a fish out of water. I was so scared and had no confidence going into the performance. But, thankfully Lola (my alter ego) showed up, and I did it. I was thrilled at how well my songs were received by the audience. I’ve now put a band together for my original music and have a couple dates booked in for 2020, so I am slowly getting back out there as an artist! But it feels different this time around. I have no agenda for the music, I‘m not hoping to be ‘discovered.’ I’m just making music because it brings me joy. I’m simply feeding my passion and living in and sharing my truth. I am so thankful to be approaching my days differently. I used to be married to my to do list, and to regular ‘office’ hours ... now I’m not. I still have my list, and it’s full of things that I’d like to get to, and I know I will eventually get to all of these things. But I’m not a slave to the list or to time anymore. I am finding that if I focus 100% on the task at hand, it all seems to gets done. Admittedly, I have a really giant list of mundane things that need doing, and it’s constantly growing, but I just let the list grow and will get to it when I get to it. This allows me to focus on what matters and leaves me with time to live! I think it has boiled down to finding that work, life balance and in the balance, I have found peace. I still have loads that I want to and will do in the coming year, but in my own time. So, I am thankful today. Thankful for my husband, my family, my friends, my career and my passions. As I write this, I’m still in bed, drinking the coffee the hubs brought up to me and the sun is shining through my window. There’s a few things on the to do list, but there’s no guarantee that I’ll get to them. We’ll see what the day brings.  At this moment, the only thing I feel compelled to do is to be thankful!