The 3 types of anger every therapist wants you to understand episode artwork

EPISODE · Jun 25, 2025 · 41 MIN

The 3 types of anger every therapist wants you to understand

from Carly's Couch · host Carly Abramovitz

I need to tell you something that might surprise you - I'm pro-anger. When clients come to therapy saying they felt angry, I get excited because anger is information, and I want to understand what it's trying to tell us. Too many people walk into my office ashamed of their anger, wanting to "fix" it rather than understand it. In this episode, I break down my theory of the three types of anger. First, anger is a protective coating over vulnerable emotions, like a bodyguard when we're actually feeling small and scared. Second, boundary violation anger when our clearly expressed needs aren't met (hello, maternal rage). And third, righteous anger - that visceral response to injustice that moves us toward what's right. This isn't about encouraging aggression. It's about reclaiming anger as valid information that deserves our attention. Your anger has meaning - let's figure out what it's trying to say. Follow Carly on: Website: https://onthecouchwithcarly.com/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfBi56xQookfRGL3zvWVzCg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onthecouchwithcarly/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/onthecouchwithcarly/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@onthecouchwithcarly Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/za/podcast/on-the-couch-with-carly/id1497585376 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3t7A2FMnISQ2fz9D5p0Xuw

I need to tell you something that might surprise you - I'm pro-anger. When clients come to therapy saying they felt angry, I get excited because anger is information, and I want to understand what it's trying to tell us. Too many people walk into my office ashamed of their anger, wanting to "fix" it rather than understand it. In this episode, I break down my theory of the three types of anger. First, anger is a protective coating over vulnerable emotions, like a bodyguard when we're actually feeling small and scared. Second, boundary violation anger when our clearly expressed needs aren't met (hello, maternal rage). And third, righteous anger - that visceral response to injustice that moves us toward what's right. This isn't about encouraging aggression. It's about reclaiming anger as valid information that deserves our attention. Your anger has meaning - let's figure out what it's trying to say. Follow Carly on: Website: https://onthecouchwithcarly.com/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfBi56xQookfRGL3zvWVzCg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onthecouchwithcarly/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/onthecouchwithcarly/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@onthecouchwithcarly Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/za/podcast/on-the-couch-with-carly/id1497585376 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3t7A2FMnISQ2fz9D5p0Xuw

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The 3 types of anger every therapist wants you to understand

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This episode was published on June 25, 2025.

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I need to tell you something that might surprise you - I'm pro-anger. When clients come to therapy saying they felt angry, I get excited because anger is information, and I want to understand what it's trying to tell us. Too many people walk into my...

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