The 5 love languages: Genuine advice or Christian control in disguise? episode artwork

EPISODE · Dec 31, 2025 · 54 MIN

The 5 love languages: Genuine advice or Christian control in disguise?

from The Baddest Bitch in the Building

📚 AND don't forget to get your copy of How to Hack the Patriarchy on Amazon or get a signed paperback, PDF, or EPUB directly from me. Free preview available here.Most people think the five love languages are a pop psychology phenomenon. However, they're not rooted in psychology at all. The origins of the five love languages are closer to the Bible than to science, and they were never made as a tool to help women in their relationships.That's because they were created by Baptist preacher Gary Chapman, a man who's trained in Biblical counselling. His background involves no scientific or psychological training. The crazy thing is, that isn't even the most problematic part.I read Chapman's book, The 5 Love Languages, and in this episode I critically dissect his theory from a feminist lens in a way no one's ever done before. I'll discuss:The conservative & misogynistic origins of Biblical counsellingHow marriage counselling originated as a form of eugenics (& how this agenda found its way into the church)The sexist examples Chapman uses in his book, which shatter his credibilityThe HUGE problem with Chapman's sample (hint: they're all white, Christian, traditional couples)How the love languages map out PERFECTLY to the 5 points of Calvinism (a control-based branch of Protestantism that forms the foundation of Biblical counselling)Whether there's a better alternative to the love languagesSources:Awful '50s Marriage Advice Shows What Our Mothers And Grandmothers Were Up AgainstThe Biblical Counselling MovementThe “love languages” are a hoax by a Southern Baptist pastorThe Surprising History of Marriage Counselling __________🎙️ About the podcast: The patriarchy is starting to crumble, but sadly it probably won't be fully dismantled in our lifetime. In this podcast, I help women exploit the system's loopholes while finding the hidden ways the patriarchy conditions us to leak our power. Because guess what? Power isn't given, it's either taken or created. And it's time to take back the power the patriarchy stole from us.👸 About Neeki: I earned my Bachelor’s in Public Policy with High Distinction and went on to complete my Master’s in Political Science, both at the University of Toronto. I've been invited to present my research on how underdogs build and leverage power at conferences across North America. Before launching this podcast, I worked in management consulting, advising senior executives at some of Canada’s largest companies.__________🌸 IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: @baddestbinthebldg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠💓 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @baddest.b.in.the.bldg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠💘 Collabs/partnerships: [email protected]🔐 Unlock bonus episodes & join our private community on Patreon💌 Subscribe to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Baddie Brief⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a 1-minute read to give you a little reminder of a hack from one of the girly laws (that you prob forgot), delivered twice monthly on Fridays💄 Want a discount on clean makeup from an Indigenous-owned brand? Shop Cheekbone Beauty and use code NEEKI20 for 20% off Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

📚 AND don't forget to get your copy of How to Hack the Patriarchy on Amazon or get a signed paperback, PDF, or EPUB directly from me. Free preview available here.Most people think the five love languages are a pop psychology phenomenon. However, they're not rooted in psychology at all. The origins of the five love languages are closer to the Bible than to science, and they were never made as a tool to help women in their relationships.That's because they were created by Baptist preacher Gary Chapman, a man who's trained in Biblical counselling. His background involves no scientific or psychological training. The crazy thing is, that isn't even the most problematic part.I read Chapman's book, The 5 Love Languages, and in this episode I critically dissect his theory from a feminist lens in a way no one's ever done before. I'll discuss:The conservative & misogynistic origins of Biblical counsellingHow marriage counselling originated as a form of eugenics (& how this agenda found its way into the church)The sexist examples Chapman uses in his book, which shatter his credibilityThe HUGE problem with Chapman's sample (hint: they're all white, Christian, traditional couples)How the love languages map out PERFECTLY to the 5 points of Calvinism (a control-based branch of Protestantism that forms the foundation of Biblical counselling)Whether there's a better alternative to the love languagesSources:Awful '50s Marriage Advice Shows What Our Mothers And Grandmothers Were Up AgainstThe Biblical Counselling MovementThe “love languages” are a hoax by a Southern Baptist pastorThe Surprising History of Marriage Counselling __________🎙️ About the podcast: The patriarchy is starting to crumble, but sadly it probably won't be fully dismantled in our lifetime. In this podcast, I help women exploit the system's loopholes while finding the hidden ways the patriarchy conditions us to leak our power. Because guess what? Power isn't given, it's either taken or created. And it's time to take back the power the patriarchy stole from us.👸 About Neeki: I earned my Bachelor’s in Public Policy with High Distinction and went on to complete my Master’s in Political Science, both at the University of Toronto. I've been invited to present my research on how underdogs build and leverage power at conferences across North America. Before launching this podcast, I worked in management consulting, advising senior executives at some of Canada’s largest companies.__________🌸 IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: @baddestbinthebldg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠💓 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @baddest.b.in.the.bldg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠💘 Collabs/partnerships: [email protected]🔐 Unlock bonus episodes & join our private community on Patreon💌 Subscribe to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Baddie Brief⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a 1-minute read to give you a little reminder of a hack from one of the girly laws (that you prob forgot), delivered twice monthly on Fridays💄 Want a discount on clean makeup from an Indigenous-owned brand? Shop Cheekbone Beauty and use code NEEKI20 for 20% off Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

NOW PLAYING

The 5 love languages: Genuine advice or Christian control in disguise?

0:00 54:33

No transcript for this episode yet

We transcribe on demand. Request one and we'll notify you when it's ready — usually under 10 minutes.

No similar episodes found.

No similar podcasts found.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long is this episode of The Baddest Bitch in the Building?

This episode is 54 minutes long.

When was this The Baddest Bitch in the Building episode published?

This episode was published on December 31, 2025.

What is this episode about?

📚 AND don't forget to get your copy of How to Hack the Patriarchy on Amazon or get a signed paperback, PDF, or EPUB directly from me. Free preview available here.Most people think the five love languages are a pop psychology phenomenon. However,...

Can I download this The Baddest Bitch in the Building episode?

Yes, you can download this episode by clicking the download button on the episode player, or subscribe to the podcast in your preferred podcast app for automatic downloads.
URL copied to clipboard!