The Bad News Network 4.3.2026: Artemis II, Iran, and Tiger Woods

Once again https://rangerup.com is back with the Bad News Network!Here's your rapid-fire rundown of the week, and it’s a wild one.First up, Artemis II is headed back to the moon for the first time since 1972. Four astronauts, 240,000 miles, and yes… another wrestler in space. Humanity might actually be doing something useful again.Meanwhile, Tiger Woods rolled another vehicle...allegedly distracted, possibly medicated, definitely still undefeated in the “things he shouldn’t be rolling” category.Over in the Middle East, the U.S., Iran situation is somehow both escalating and “ending in two to three weeks.” Oil is spiking, markets are confused, and everyone’s pretending this wraps up neatly. It won’t.Back home, one Marine allegedly ran a side hustle selling military weapons—including a Javelin missile system—because apparently eBay didn’t have enough firepower.And finally, Florida Man tried to steal a plane… after crashing his car into an airport… barefoot… on multiple substances. Which, honestly, is just a strong Tuesday for Florida.That’s your BNN short, where the news is real, the logic is optional, and somehow… we’re still here.