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Go to move here. Go to move here. Welcome to Raw Impressions, episode number 25. This show is stuffed full of good conversations and commercial recreations.
Enjoy. It's not episode 25. It's episode 24. What the hell was he thinking?
I also don't like how he said good conversation. I didn't either. I felt a lot of pressure. Kind of sets us up.
I feel like I'm a failure. Already. We haven't even started talking. Yeah.
That was like unkind of him. Mm-hmm. Set me up to fail. Yeah.
I don't really need that today. Um, are you okay? Uh, I'm okay. I don't know if I'm going to have good conversation.
I'm sorry everyone. Is it something that you can talk about or? Uh, no. No.
No. I'm just haunted like the rest of us. Okay. We all have our hauntings and I have my own and I'm in the midst.
I've entered my haunted house today. I opened the door. I walked in. If you're wondering, what am I talking about?
I'm talking about my brain. Sometimes my brain turns into a haunted house and sometimes I walk in it and I spend some time in there getting kind of fucked up and then I try to leave. It's funny because today you're dressed in like a yellow flowery dress. You blue dry your hair and you put on your makeup.
Like you were fighting, you were fighting it back, but you're actually like, you're sort of like Dorothy in the, in the, in the haunted house. Yes. I'm just trying to get back home out of this haunted house home. I'm just down the prairie into a hellhole.
Well, I like to always rock my prairie vibes, you know, my look, my flowers, but I did get dressed up today in a sense and I, yes, I blued dried my hair and I put on some makeup. Um, well, good for you for fighting against it because I usually do. I just let the whole fucking ship go down. But like I did last week, you know, by the end of attempting to do that Burger King commercial, I was really not getting dressed all day.
I was surly. And you had a ponytail on the side of your head for three days straight. I wasn't really even eating. Yeah, that's not good.
You have to take care of your body. You know, I'm taking care of myself. I'm showering. I'm eating my three meals a day.
I can, I can kind of look on the outside like a purely functioning operational human. I don't, I was true. I kind of, I'm able to sort of mask more. I think when, when I'm going through my shit, when I mentored my haunted house, you might not know it unless I tell you.
Yeah. So I just told y'all, but don't worry, I'm going to leave it. I'm going to leave it. She looks good.
I can say that she's, she's looking good. She's actually kind of keeping the ship going. You know, it's not, I was able to complete my task today because I do these tasks that I task myself with. They happen and then I'm kind of being drug along behind the idea and I had another idea.
Well, this was actually another suggestion, I think in the comments, right? People were like, Hey, you got to do and well, here we are today. I'm kind of on a roll with these kind of on a roll with these commercial recreations. I think I do need to give it a little bit of a break.
Okay. I might, she probably work on a song of my own, let's say, or maybe a nice cover because the commercial recreation thing is definitely kind of, I'm becoming a little obsessive about it. You're looking a little greasy. I'm looking greasy now.
You are a little bit. I didn't, I didn't, my hair is not been washed for a few days. So there is, there is, there is a bit of the crud creeping in. And the room had quite a whiff.
She walked into the room friends and she was like, Whoa. And that's just, it's not good. I mean, I do have a room. It's an unventilated room.
And I am a grown man. And it is the smallest room in the house. So I guess it had kind of a, kind of a whiff. It really, it did.
It's a subway whiff. It smelled like an Italian sub from subway. Yeah. The Italian one with all of the toppings.
Extra oil. Oh, that's my, oh. What time it is? I do now.
I'm hearing the word from across the nation. No little cinnamon gum, fresh as breath, long earth and big red. You kiss and it alongers, say clouds and it alonger. Oh, tie it alonger, longer with me red.
And be red fresh as the way through it. Your fresh breath goes on and on. All the shoes run goodbye and along. And make it last a little longer.
Give your breath long as be fresh red. With me red. That's pretty good. That's off a cassette tape.
My final mix for that I put it on a cassette tape. So just keep that in mind when something else happens later in the show. So that's three Riggly's commercials as a medley and I played it right through. I played three songs right, the three commercials right in the row.
She just interrupted you. So I did them as men. I will post all of the chords in the lyrics on our sub stack. Oh, fine.
So people can play this medley themselves. Yeah, they can just spend time doing this too. I'm going to talk. Standard two guitar.
A little bit of campfire song for everyone to learn. It's a lot of double. Yeah. Two is better than one.
I've heard so. There's rumors about that. It's really good. Some people enjoy too.
More than one. What are we talking about? If you're going to double something, double your mint. Double your pleasure.
Double the fun. Mint is great. Just grab a fucking handful of fresh mint. It's spring.
Mint is just grab a whole fucking handful of fresh mint and shove it in your mouth. Two handfuls. Two handfuls of fresh mint. Because not one too.
Does anything quite like just a fresh mint leaf from your garden? I take it from our neighbor's garden. It's nice. They just grow it all the time and I don't have to do it and they let me go and snip it.
It's very sweet. So, yeah. Snip and sniff. I...
Yeah. Oh, you take a snip. Take a snip. Take a snip.
Take a snip. Oh, the legendary line. Not one. I really wish I could have been a fly in the wall when that song was being written.
This is just filthy. Is this gone we're talking about here? Yeah. Take a sniff, pull it out.
Juicy fruit smells good. I kind of understood it when I saw the commercial as a kid. I'm like, you do take a snip and you pull it out. You do.
It's great. And you pop it in your mouth. And the taste is going to move you when you pop it in your mouth. I couldn't find any really dirty stuff from Big Red, the Big Red commercial.
Other than make it last a little longer. Big Red. Well, haven't you heard the... Never mind.
Haven't you heard the expression my ass is read? No, actually I haven't. I think that means you're horny and you're ovulating, right? It's like what monkeys are something.
It's like they're in their asses or something. I've never heard a human say like my asses. I mean that's like if you've been paddled. Oh.
My asses are read. I've been paddled. Well, some people like that too. I've never heard anybody like in conversation never go my asses read.
I have. You have? Yes. Like you've had a girlfriend who said that?
Yes. Yes. Someone actually said that. Wow.
I would ever forget that. I didn't. And that's why I shared it with you. I didn't.
I didn't. Yes. And I didn't know what she meant. Like you did.
No. That's aggressive now. Oh my God. So someone did say that.
Someone did say that in conversation when she was talking about how... I can't. It's just that she was explaining she was ready to make sweet love with her partner because her ass was red. And I was like what does that mean?
I was like thinking your assholes. I don't understand. And because I was like when I hear your asses read that sounds ouchy. Like you maybe you ate some spicy food.
Yes. I think I'm... That's my double mint slap. Here's all that great conversation that was promised earlier.
I put that in there. I don't know why. Where that's going. Yeah.
Speaking of spanking. That sounds like a little flap-thwap. No, I was confused because I thought, okay, my ass is red. That means you're horny.
I'm like how are those two? Because when I think your ass is red that sounds like you might not be horny because maybe you ate a spicy burrito and you had an ouchy butt and you don't feel like getting naked. I don't know. But then she informed me that that was like an animalistic thing.
Like that's how they... Maybe monkeys or... No little cinnamon gum. Fresh and breath-monger than the red.
You kiss and it'll longer and say close and it'll longer. I'm tired and it'll longer, longer with me. Then be in right, freshness, last bite through it. Your fresh breath goes on and on.
Run with you in drunken bio. Long and make it last and it'll longer. Give your breath long as depression is... With me, grin.
Double pleasure is waiting for you. Double pleasure with the woman again. A double great feeling making you realize the most of all of you. Double, fresh, double smooth.
Double delicious to do. Double pleasure is waiting for you. Double pleasure is waiting for you. You just get your shandered up.
Rub a stick of juicy fruit. The taste is going to move down. Take a sneer. A couple of them.
The taste is going to be with your puppet in your mouth. When juicy fruit is going to move down. The taste is going to be good. The taste is going to move down.
The taste is going to move down. So on a technical note, that's a digital mix of it. The other one was an analog mix and that's a digital one. Does anyone ever say digi versus Anna?
Anna. Anna, you're going to stop at Anna? No. No.
No. No. Digi and analog. They go all the way with analog.
They don't stop at anal. Analog. Okay. So now I was so...
I don't need to finish what I was talking about before. I think you all figured it out. We're going on to something else. Let's do some tech talk and really cool things down.
The first mix was from cassette. But I also slowed it down a little bit. So I'm wondering if the first one, the analog version, is superior to the version that we just heard. Or whether the crispness of the one we just heard.
Which is also has analog components. You've just got butt on the brain. No, we were talking about those brand new... We were talking about the brand new X-ray machines at the airport now.
Because you don't have to take your laptop out of your bags anymore. Because they have these big machines that look like... They look like pupas. Actually, they look like these huge...
These almost like these creatures. But they're called analogic. So half of the word is anal. Analogic.
More than half. But you don't have to take your laptop out of your bags anymore. So those people out there that are technically minded, or like GearTalk, oh, this is my other house. Oh, God.
Oh, God. Wow. All right. Do you know what that is?
Oh, I do. I do. I do. Can you tell people what that is?
I know who I'm going to blame for this as well. So that's Lou doing his nasal rinse because he's still congested. My berserk. You just had to share that with everyone.
Well, I thought that after all of this... I just... I assumed when I cut together the template for this episode, which is what I do, those of you who care about such things, I cut together a template and then Adele and I speak as the template runs and react to it. And I thought after that those...
That three way, the Rigley three way. Excuse me? What three way? The Rigley airtight.
The Rigley airtight medley. I thought that... You were really going for it. You were really, really going for it.
We can... Okay. I thought that after all of that, hot talk, that we needed to listen. I mean, if there's anything that pretty much...
You thought that was a palate cleanser? The nasal rinse. Yes. The nasal rinse brings us back to Earth, back from our red asses.
Our asses turn blue. It's a cold shower. Me doing a nasal... I mean, it's got to be like, I am enduring this sinus.
I'm not going to use the word hell. It's a sinus thing that's going on with me. There's a lot of pain involved. Discomfort.
A lot of discomfort. I'm fighting an infection. I do not want to go on antibiotics, so I'm doing a lot of nasal rinses, which is very helpful. I was reminded to do the nasal rims because I saw this amazing Instagram post from Busy Phillips, which just had her like, fucking blowing that fucking...
Busy, you did this! She had a shot straight from the sink, just like a her up close blowing. I'm like, and I saw it. I'm like, I got to do that.
I can't forget it because it's war time. This is it. It's on. The war is on.
The war for my nasal cavity. She's also in a pretty much a never ending. Seems like a thing with her nasals as well. You've got to...
If you've got that thing, and I've got it, it's like you... When the seasons change, when the allergies start to happen, it's on. And if you get sick, you get a cold too. It's like you got a creeping crud is coming after you.
And if it gets in there and you don't get it out, you will become ill and need antibiotics. Yeah, and you're still plugged in. You're still plugged in my face. No.
I know. I'm not so much. Sorry. But, well, you know, last couple of days, I'm sorry you feel down.
But again, doing a commercial recreation successfully is really great for me. It's a wonderful affirmation. Thank you very much to everyone who's asked for it. And given suggestions and put me on this path to reclaiming the dusty corners of my youth, the humid days, sitting in front of a television set during a long summer, in the 1980s, watching commercial after commercial.
Yeah. But now I'm taking it back. It's very satisfying for me. Which is your favorite out of the three, Juicy Fruit, Double Mint, and Big Red, like the commercial.
Juicy Fruit is the catchiest. Take a sniff, pull it out. The taste is gonna look at when you're popping in your mouth. It really is.
Juicy Fruit actually got rid of Taylor Swift for almost two nights now. In your brain. In my brain. Yeah, she's still around, by the way.
Yeah, she's not going anywhere. When Taylor is not what I wake up to, when I'm waking up to the Juicy Fruit commercial at 2.30 in the morning, that is the sign of a really powerful melody. Yeah, I've had Bejeweled by Taylor Swift in my head, I don't know, like five nights in a row now. I just surrendered.
I just, I think, you know, I'm one. I'm one with Taylor. Thank you for listening to Raw Impressions No. 24, 24.
It's not 25. Like I said in the beginning, it's the 24th. Thank you for listening.